In My Time Of Dying 2
Title: In My Time Of Dying
Pairings: Yunjae,
Rating: PG-13 (for boy to boy pairing)
Genre: Angst
Length; Two-shot
Summary: They say that before someone dies, their life flashes before their eyes.
A/n:based on the song by Three Days Grace
part one
this is the second part
On this bed I lay,
Losing everything,
I can see my life,
Passing me by,
He realized that he had slipped into oblivion at some point of time. He tried to rouse, but it was no use. His body seems to be too weak and somehow by instinct, he knew he was in a hospital room. It surprised him to know that his wretched body could still host his soul, despite needing a ventilator tube shoved down his throat to help him breathe and the supply of someone else’s blood being fed into his body.
Right then, he felt helpless and being stripped of his pride. He had to rely on a machine to do the simple task of breathing in air and he had to rely on others for blood and medication to help repair his ailing body. He was losing himself bit by bit. He had already lost control of his pathetic excuse of a body and his feelings were running amok. Not that he had any control over that department anyway. And slowly he was losing his sanity, something that he had feared the most.
At last he hears something besides the annoying beeping of the machine which had been taking count of his heart rate. The sound of automatic doors sliding reached his ears, making him notice for the first time that he had been alone all the while. Then footsteps could be heard coming nearer and nearer. Next, he hears the sound of a chair being dragged beside him and the person gently sat on it, hardly making any sound.
“Yunnie~” the person whispers his name, the voice thick with emotion. A warm hand gentlysqueezes his right hand, sharing its warmth with the comatose man on the bed.
“Yunnie~” the person whispers again, and this time he could hear the tears that accompany it.
Another hand reaches his forehead and wiped away the sticky bangs out of his too hot brow. He strains to remember the person whom the voice belongs to. The voice belonged to the unknown person whom he had wanted to know before he lost consciousness. The voice was so familiar, soothing, and calming at the same time. He had heard it almost all of his life yet now he struggles to remember to whom it belonged to.
And as if the person knew he was clutching at straws just to know the person’s name, the visitor introduces himself.
“It’s me, Jae Joong. Can you hear me, Yunho? It’s me, Joongie.”
Now he remembers his real name along with the identity of his mysterious visitor. How he wished he could tell this Joongie that he can hear him, yet he could not because of his uncooperative body. Try as he may, he could not remember this Jae Joong guy.
He prayed that God was listening to his prayers. He desperately wanted to know who this Joongie is. He feels that this person holds the key to the reason why his heart was aching so badly and he knew that if the person keeps the physical contact, he might actually draw strength from the guy and be able to wake up.
And again, as if the person could read his mind, the person begins to tell him about their relationship, all the while not breaking the hold on his hand.
“You should look at yourself in the mirror, Yunnie. You’re all covered up in cuts and bruises. And look at that ventilator and the IV. This is so unlike you, Leader-Sshi.” Jae Joong jokes to the unmoving figure on the bed.
A solitary tear drops from the doe-like eyes. Jae Joong quickly wipes the tear away, afraid that his beloved Yunho might detect it somehow.
“Yunnie, I’m going to be a story teller today and you have no choice but to listen. You understand.”
If only he wasn’t in a stone like body, he would’ve laughed at the mock-authority in this Jae Joong’s voice. Apparently this person had a cute sense of humor. He hears Jae Joong doing something and in the next second, he feels something cold glide over his dry lips, offering some comfort to it.
“Now, that’s better.” He hears a content sigh from the man. “Ah, yes. I was going to tell you a story. I want to tell you about the life of Jung Yunho. Yeah, I know, it’s so unoriginal of me to use your name for my character, but it fits. Anyway, Jung Yunho or also known as U Know Yunho, He’s the leader of Korea’s greatest boy band called DBSK. He’s the best leader that I’ve known. And you want to know how I know this? That’s because I know him personally. He’s not just a great leader, but a great Appa. An Appa to three immature kids called Micky Yoo Chun. Xiah Junsu and Max Chang Min. He takes good care of his kids and also a great friend to others. People look up to him with great respect and admiration.”
“And in my eyes, he’s the greatest man alive. For you see, he’s also my lover. He’s always gentle and he wants to protect me whenever he can. He’s also the most hard-working man I know. Pushing himself to the limit so that he can please others and always puts others before himself. Especially when it comes to kids. And I always make sure that when he comes back, he can eat the Chiggae that he likes.”
“Yunnie, this story that is actually about you. Yes, you. You always tease me that I am a princess. But right now, you are the Princess. Princess Sleeping Beauty. Can I be the prince now? If I kiss you, would you wake up for me? Would you let me snuggle up to you like we used to? Would you warm my body with that lean and tan body of yours? Would you tease me in front of our fans by blowing into my ear like you did at our fan meeting?”
The next action sent the unconscious man into a whirlwind of memories. Jae Joong had kissed him despite the ventilator.
“Wake up, Yunnie.” Jae Joong cried. He let the tears run down his cheeks this time, feeling disappointed that the kiss didn’t wake up his lover.
But to Yunho, it was the jolt that he needed. Image after image flooded him. All of the same person. Beautiful, perfectly fair skin with strawberry red lips which were oh-so deliciously kissable and those big doe eyes, so full of love that it knocked the wind out of him. Laughter, smiles, touches, kisses and tears, all made by the same person.
Kim Jae Joong. His beloved Kim Jae Joong.
Jae Joong dropped his head into the bed, his body shook with the force of his sobs.
“Forgive me, Yunnie~”
Was it all too much
Or just not enough
Wake me up
I live in a nightmare
Those simple words had brought him to his final moments. The very few moments before he was engulfed in a world of pain. He looked on at himself as a spectator, feeling weird at the sight of himself.
He was in his room, his parents and sister had gone out with the other three. His family had come to the city to visit him and the boys had taken the opportunity to bring the Jung family out for a treat. Yet, in the house the Yunjae couple fought.
Looking on his own hot face and judging from the volume of Jae Joong’s voice shouting at him, he quickly deduced that they were having a big fight. He watched in morbid fascination as Jae Joong seared and hurl something about him acting with Go Ara and he did the same, defending himself while saying that Jae Joong was too obsessed with his law suit.
Their fight revolved around the two topics till in a fit of anger, he had punched the wall, startling Jae Joong in the process. The pain in his knuckles only aggravated his anger and without any words, he took his helmet and his keys and left the house.
He watches himself ride his motorbike aimlessly down the streets of Seoul, his eyes on the road but his mind far from it. His mind was on the man he had left in the house. Feeling guilty, he made a u-turn, finding himself on the road which leads back to his apartment. His heart, mind and soul was filled with only one person.
Kim Jae Joong.
He wanted to scream at himself, to warn of the oncoming lorry on his right, but alas, his scream went unheard and he saw himself being flung into the air upon impact and landing a few feet away from his carcass of a motorbike.
*
He was back in his hospital room and Jae Joong was still sobbing beside him. The next three words that came out of his beloved Jae Joong’s mouth had him thinking hard. He thought of all the times he has made Jae Joong upset and unhappy, and he thought of the times he had made his lover laugh and smile. He feels like he hasn’t done enough for the beautiful angel. He wants to wake up from this nightmare.
He doesn’t want to heat Jae Joong cry. He wants to hear him laugh. He wants to wake up and tell the love of his life that he’s forgiven and he himself should apologize for all the mistakes that he’s done. And most of all, he needed to live to tell Jae Joong what had been whispered to him just a moment ago.
“I love you.”
I will not die
I will survive
Then he realizes that the reason that he’s not dead is because he had been waiting for Jae Joong all this while. And he realizes that he was conscious only when Jae Joong was beside him. Right then he makes a vow, he would wake up and wait for Jae Joong to come and tell him that Jae Joong is the one he loves very much. Even if the effort kills him
I will not die
I’ll wait for you
I feel alive
When you’re beside me
I will not die
I’ll wait for you
In my time of dying
And Jung Yunho wakes up, thankful for a second chance at life.