fic.
Title: Out of Place
Fandom: CSI:Miami
Author: jennidinorobot
Pairing: Ryan Wolfe/Maxine Valera
Rating: G
Author's Note: X-posted to
ships50
Ryan wasn’t sure what he was feeling. It was strange. It started when she left. He frowned. Had it really started because of her? They were friends, most definitely, but did he really care that much about her? Ryan was confused, he was . . . sad.
Ryan walked down the hall in a gloomy state. He had been like that for weeks. Calleigh noticed, Eric noticed, but neither said anything. Eric had begun to, but he figured it was Ryan’s personal business and he’d rather not get caught up in it.
He finally reached the outside. The bright rays of the sun stung his eyes and he raised his arm to act as a shield. Ryan was never the one for sunglasses, neither was she - he learned. They talked. About random things, about little things. But they talked. And it certainly wasn’t meaningless talk to Ryan. He hoped it wasn’t meaningless for her.
His car sat away from the others. Like it didn’t belong, like it didn’t . . . fit. Ryan sighed. It was how he felt, about everything. Like he didn’t belong, like he shouldn’t have been the one to make her leave. Like he wasn’t the one who was supposed to replace Tim Speedle. She always made him feel like he belonged. He missed that. He missed her.
He wasn’t really aware of where he was going. He wasn’t really aware of anything, really. Various streets and lights passed by, but he didn’t really recognize any of them. Not really. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to, or maybe it was because he just couldn’t. He really just didn’t know. The one thing he did know, however, was that he needed her. And he was going to get her back, if it was the last thing he did.
He didn’t expect her to smile when she opened her door. He didn’t expect her to pull him into a brief hug. He didn’t expect anything out of her, actually. What he did expect, was anger, yelling, a slap even. Ryan didn’t even get that. He wanted her anger, he wanted her yells, wanted her hurt palms. He took what he got with kindness.
She hadn’t gotten a new job. She hadn’t even started to look. Ryan smiled at that. She told him she was just going to take it easy for awhile. Ryan nodded. He didn’t want to say much, for fear he would say what he was really thinking. She was calm with him though, casual, laidback. It was like it was okay for him to be in her apartment, on her couch, drinking a beer with her, chatting like nothing ever happened, like he never put her job in jeopardy. Ryan almost smiled.
They ended up watching a movie. She had insisted, he hadn’t had the heart to tell her no. But he did like sitting on her almost comfy couch, watching a movie he could care less about, drinking a beer that really wasn’t that great. She casually leaned up against him, and he almost as casually draped an arm across her shoulders. He could feel her smile. He did smile then, too. It felt like the first real smile he’d had for a very long time. So he did it again.
He’d left at about ten o’clock. It was late, and as much as he enjoyed their time together, he knew she was tired and he still had work the next day. Ryan dreaded the next day. It would be the same as any day, he figured, only she wouldn’t be there. He wouldn’t be able to go visit her and drop off a sample, striking up a brief conversation while he waited, or giving her a little riddle he’d read in the morning’s newspaper (she usually figured them out and he always tried to find harder and harder ones, but to no avail). Ryan didn’t think about her the next day, couldn’t think about her, because if he did, he’d never be able to get her out of his head.
He was surprised when he got a call from her the next day. He was at home, fiddling around with the telly. He answered like he would any other call, but his heart skipped a beat when he heard her voice, “Give me a riddle,” she said. He smiled silly, and proceeded to find his newspaper(he’d found one on instinct and circled it in blue). He rambled it off to her, counting the seconds until she answered him back. Fifty seconds this time. Faster than the last. He laughed and told her she had got it right. She laughed happily on the other end. Ryan almost felt whole again.
He surprised himself the next week when he showed up at her place, unannounced. She surprised him, however, when she opened the door and her cheeks were stained with dry tears. He frowned quickly and went inside. He gently gathered her in his arms, led her to her couch and listened to her cry into his shirt. She never really did tell him why she was saddened, but he didn’t need to know. He woke up the next morning with her still in his arms. He sighed, happy. It was nice to feel that again; happy. She made him happy. Ryan tightened his hold on her and she shifted closer to him in her sleep. That horrible feeling he’d had weeks ago was steadily fading away.
Calleigh had made a remark to him two weeks later, “Well aren’t you cheery today? It’s nice to see that smile again, Ryan.” He’d chuckled and laughed it off, pretending it was nothing. But it was something - or, rather, a someone. They hadn’t stopped hanging out, he’d still call her every morning before he went to work to give her a riddle and she still stopped by his house every weekend(sometimes he, but mostly her). It had become a routine to them. A mutual agreement, a pick-me-up, or just an ‘I just need you’. Ryan liked when the ‘I need you’ came up, because that meant no matter what, she’d end up in his arms. He noticed they fit perfectly the second time it came.
She still wasn’t back by the third month. She still hadn’t gotten another job. He later found out she thought that if she did, she would be betraying the lab somehow. He found pride in her loyalty, and wondered where she got the money to pay for her rent, let alone food. He never asked, and she never told. He figured it was best that way. She’d tell him if she wanted. It wasn’t lonely in the labs anymore, not that he’d stopped missing her there, but because he could see her virtually anytime he needed, or wanted. She may be gone from the lab, but she surely wasn’t gone from his life. He never felt the ugly feeling again. He knew what had been, and he frowned at first, but then grinned. He wouldn’t feel it again and he surely never wanted to. She promised him he wouldn’t, and he believed her, most definitely.
Fandom: CSI:Miami
Author: jennidinorobot
Pairing: Ryan Wolfe/Maxine Valera
Rating: G
Author's Note: X-posted to
ships50
Ryan wasn’t sure what he was feeling. It was strange. It started when she left. He frowned. Had it really started because of her? They were friends, most definitely, but did he really care that much about her? Ryan was confused, he was . . . sad.
Ryan walked down the hall in a gloomy state. He had been like that for weeks. Calleigh noticed, Eric noticed, but neither said anything. Eric had begun to, but he figured it was Ryan’s personal business and he’d rather not get caught up in it.
He finally reached the outside. The bright rays of the sun stung his eyes and he raised his arm to act as a shield. Ryan was never the one for sunglasses, neither was she - he learned. They talked. About random things, about little things. But they talked. And it certainly wasn’t meaningless talk to Ryan. He hoped it wasn’t meaningless for her.
His car sat away from the others. Like it didn’t belong, like it didn’t . . . fit. Ryan sighed. It was how he felt, about everything. Like he didn’t belong, like he shouldn’t have been the one to make her leave. Like he wasn’t the one who was supposed to replace Tim Speedle. She always made him feel like he belonged. He missed that. He missed her.
He wasn’t really aware of where he was going. He wasn’t really aware of anything, really. Various streets and lights passed by, but he didn’t really recognize any of them. Not really. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to, or maybe it was because he just couldn’t. He really just didn’t know. The one thing he did know, however, was that he needed her. And he was going to get her back, if it was the last thing he did.
He didn’t expect her to smile when she opened her door. He didn’t expect her to pull him into a brief hug. He didn’t expect anything out of her, actually. What he did expect, was anger, yelling, a slap even. Ryan didn’t even get that. He wanted her anger, he wanted her yells, wanted her hurt palms. He took what he got with kindness.
She hadn’t gotten a new job. She hadn’t even started to look. Ryan smiled at that. She told him she was just going to take it easy for awhile. Ryan nodded. He didn’t want to say much, for fear he would say what he was really thinking. She was calm with him though, casual, laidback. It was like it was okay for him to be in her apartment, on her couch, drinking a beer with her, chatting like nothing ever happened, like he never put her job in jeopardy. Ryan almost smiled.
They ended up watching a movie. She had insisted, he hadn’t had the heart to tell her no. But he did like sitting on her almost comfy couch, watching a movie he could care less about, drinking a beer that really wasn’t that great. She casually leaned up against him, and he almost as casually draped an arm across her shoulders. He could feel her smile. He did smile then, too. It felt like the first real smile he’d had for a very long time. So he did it again.
He’d left at about ten o’clock. It was late, and as much as he enjoyed their time together, he knew she was tired and he still had work the next day. Ryan dreaded the next day. It would be the same as any day, he figured, only she wouldn’t be there. He wouldn’t be able to go visit her and drop off a sample, striking up a brief conversation while he waited, or giving her a little riddle he’d read in the morning’s newspaper (she usually figured them out and he always tried to find harder and harder ones, but to no avail). Ryan didn’t think about her the next day, couldn’t think about her, because if he did, he’d never be able to get her out of his head.
He was surprised when he got a call from her the next day. He was at home, fiddling around with the telly. He answered like he would any other call, but his heart skipped a beat when he heard her voice, “Give me a riddle,” she said. He smiled silly, and proceeded to find his newspaper(he’d found one on instinct and circled it in blue). He rambled it off to her, counting the seconds until she answered him back. Fifty seconds this time. Faster than the last. He laughed and told her she had got it right. She laughed happily on the other end. Ryan almost felt whole again.
He surprised himself the next week when he showed up at her place, unannounced. She surprised him, however, when she opened the door and her cheeks were stained with dry tears. He frowned quickly and went inside. He gently gathered her in his arms, led her to her couch and listened to her cry into his shirt. She never really did tell him why she was saddened, but he didn’t need to know. He woke up the next morning with her still in his arms. He sighed, happy. It was nice to feel that again; happy. She made him happy. Ryan tightened his hold on her and she shifted closer to him in her sleep. That horrible feeling he’d had weeks ago was steadily fading away.
Calleigh had made a remark to him two weeks later, “Well aren’t you cheery today? It’s nice to see that smile again, Ryan.” He’d chuckled and laughed it off, pretending it was nothing. But it was something - or, rather, a someone. They hadn’t stopped hanging out, he’d still call her every morning before he went to work to give her a riddle and she still stopped by his house every weekend(sometimes he, but mostly her). It had become a routine to them. A mutual agreement, a pick-me-up, or just an ‘I just need you’. Ryan liked when the ‘I need you’ came up, because that meant no matter what, she’d end up in his arms. He noticed they fit perfectly the second time it came.
She still wasn’t back by the third month. She still hadn’t gotten another job. He later found out she thought that if she did, she would be betraying the lab somehow. He found pride in her loyalty, and wondered where she got the money to pay for her rent, let alone food. He never asked, and she never told. He figured it was best that way. She’d tell him if she wanted. It wasn’t lonely in the labs anymore, not that he’d stopped missing her there, but because he could see her virtually anytime he needed, or wanted. She may be gone from the lab, but she surely wasn’t gone from his life. He never felt the ugly feeling again. He knew what had been, and he frowned at first, but then grinned. He wouldn’t feel it again and he surely never wanted to. She promised him he wouldn’t, and he believed her, most definitely.