My entire family, on both sides - not my parents and brother, who could not give less of a shit what I weigh or how I look as long as I'm happy with myself - is absolutely obsessed with weight. They're always commenting on my female cousins' and aunts' looks: "Oh, Amy looks so good, she lost ten pounds," or "Your Aunt Linda lost thirty pounds for her daughter's wedding in October, isn't that amazing?" Nothing any of us does holds any merit unless we're rail-thin. I have never been rail thin and never will be, even if I lose half of my current body weight. I'm not built that way. It used to upset me in high school, when I looked around and saw all these tall, lithe, tanned athletic girls; I look at photos of myself from then and realize I had a bangin' Marilyn Monroe body.
My mother was always ostracized by my dad's family for not being skinny like Dad's sister - of course, she was a bulimic headcase, but who cares, she's thin, and it wasn't until she lost a lot of weight before my parents' wedding that his
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Oh yeah. I think that people's obsession with other people's weight comes straight from their neurosis/insecurity about their own. They take their own batshit out on everyone else. I see this a lot with my mom. She's quite slender not only for a woman in her 60s, but for any age - yet she's maniacally convinced that she's fat. (Probably body dysmorphic disorder...) And guess what, she makes horribly cutting remarks about people who are overweight --- which is bizarre coming from her, because other than that one issue, she's one of the sweetest, kindest, most compassionate people I know.
It's so awful and even strange how much family can affect us. I'm so glad your parents and brother have never been on your case. Mine haven't either, really, but over the last ten years or so my father went from an avowed chocoholic to a health and fitness freak, and will sometimes give us (my sister, my mother, and I) grief over food choices when we're informed adults and really, if I want to eat some chocolate or whatever, that's my choice and I'm accepting the consequences. He also talks to me a lot about how he wishes my mother would get more exercise, but I have no idea if he actually nags her about it or how she feels.
That sucks about your mother. I felt like the fat kid in high school too, when really I just wasn't a skinny teen, and I wasn't finished growing. I only acquired a waist after high school. High school phys ed has a lot to answer for, I think
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You have such a good head on your shoulders, in so many ways! Your attitude toward all this is so healthy. You're right, there is such debilitating neurosis about weight and body image. Once I heard someone say that her life was an endless battle between herself and five pounds. Not a good place to be.
I know you've been feeling less than great for a long time now, and I'm SO happy for you that you've gotten into exercise. Totally identify with what you wrote - that's exactly how I felt when I started running in college (before that, I'd never really gotten more exercise than walking). It really helps with everything, mentally and physically. Even when I'm insanely busy, I tell myself, I don't have time NOT to exercise. And WTG with figuring out the food issues too.
Not that I wasn't happy with my body before, as I was, if perhaps for the unfeminist reason that I have a boyfriend who loves it and is not shy about telling me so.Pffft. Who doesn't like to feel beautiful? People shouldn't have to censor themselves for
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Thank you! It's one of those things where I already knew how great I feel when I get regular exercise -- done lots of yoga and dancing over the years, and there was a period during undergrad when I walked every day and was relatively slim -- and how much it can help with depression, but actually making the jump to being active took me some time.
Sort of unrelated, but I think everything sounds worse in pounds. Five pounds is just a couple of kilos, and you can lose or gain that in a week! I don't sweat my kilograms so much, mostly because I don't own a scale, I guess.
Oh, it's true. I guess my further issues about beauty myths could take up a whole other post, at least, but you're right, it's nice to be admired without being neurotic.
Oh dear. I'm sorry that you went through that phase of being obsessed with calories. I think I could stand to be a little stricter with my diet, but not that strict. Hope you get back to the gym soon and released from the plague. <33333
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This is the best LJ entry I've read in far too long.
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My entire family, on both sides - not my parents and brother, who could not give less of a shit what I weigh or how I look as long as I'm happy with myself - is absolutely obsessed with weight. They're always commenting on my female cousins' and aunts' looks: "Oh, Amy looks so good, she lost ten pounds," or "Your Aunt Linda lost thirty pounds for her daughter's wedding in October, isn't that amazing?" Nothing any of us does holds any merit unless we're rail-thin. I have never been rail thin and never will be, even if I lose half of my current body weight. I'm not built that way. It used to upset me in high school, when I looked around and saw all these tall, lithe, tanned athletic girls; I look at photos of myself from then and realize I had a bangin' Marilyn Monroe body.
My mother was always ostracized by my dad's family for not being skinny like Dad's sister - of course, she was a bulimic headcase, but who cares, she's thin, and it wasn't until she lost a lot of weight before my parents' wedding that his ( ... )
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That sucks about your mother. I felt like the fat kid in high school too, when really I just wasn't a skinny teen, and I wasn't finished growing. I only acquired a waist after high school. High school phys ed has a lot to answer for, I think ( ... )
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I know you've been feeling less than great for a long time now, and I'm SO happy for you that you've gotten into exercise. Totally identify with what you wrote - that's exactly how I felt when I started running in college (before that, I'd never really gotten more exercise than walking). It really helps with everything, mentally and physically. Even when I'm insanely busy, I tell myself, I don't have time NOT to exercise. And WTG with figuring out the food issues too.
Not that I wasn't happy with my body before, as I was, if perhaps for the unfeminist reason that I have a boyfriend who loves it and is not shy about telling me so.Pffft. Who doesn't like to feel beautiful? People shouldn't have to censor themselves for ( ... )
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Sort of unrelated, but I think everything sounds worse in pounds. Five pounds is just a couple of kilos, and you can lose or gain that in a week! I don't sweat my kilograms so much, mostly because I don't own a scale, I guess.
Oh, it's true. I guess my further issues about beauty myths could take up a whole other post, at least, but you're right, it's nice to be admired without being neurotic.
<333
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