Love, Willful Ignorance, and Intersectionality
This entry will be about what
many of us are likely facing.
That feeling when someone you really care about,
whether a friend, family, child, or in general
someone you care about just doesn't get it, and
instead gets defensive about major issues.
Love, Willful Ignorance, and Intersectionality
It's been hitting pretty hard lately.
So hard, that I had to take a break from social media.
I try.
I really try.
I try to be as supportive and middle-ground as possible,
without contributing to the "silence is violence" which
many fall into when they want to play it safe and not
ruffle too many feathers with the people they care
about.
We are all walking contradictions, because no ONE belief or political
view can really be followed to its purest form. A one-size-fits-all
approach never works well; just look at modern medicine, and the
Spanish Inquisition. Even in today's modern world, there are mu-
ltiple ways to interpret one holy manuscript, just as there are
every political system.
/Deep breath...
It's been really hard lately when I've posted something thought-provoking.
Something to get people to think about their white and/or male privilege
(being one myself, and who better to acknowledge it than the target aud-
ience?). And though many have been supportive, it just really and honest-
ly hurt when someone I know is a sweet, caring, and kind friend responded
with inflamed defensiveness followed by pseudo-intellectual articles which
claim to explain why white people shouldn't be held accountable for the
suffering of black people, and how it's all just "Liberal brainwashing"
to make money and win the next election.
It hurts... when you know someone can be so sweet,
comfortable around LGBTQ people, people of color,
and yet, when it comes time to question oneself,
she'd rather get defensive and try to downplay
the suffering of others.
She's not the first, nor the only example.
Just the most recent.
Now, I will say this... it is more often easier for me to get along with some
right-leaning women, because at least they don't act like super suspicious
misandrists, like extremist left women. Around the latter, I feel like I con-
stantly have to prove my worthiness to be in their presence (who act no dif-
ferent than their oppressors; because in their mind, rather than aim for real
equality, it's the goal of the extremists to switch the power dynamic - not
because it's right, but because they either can't cope with their own abuse
experiences, or are simply brainwashed rather than question themselves or
stop the abuse cycle; because like the superiority complex of those on the
right-wing, they feel more secure when they can point the finger and take
power from others). The right-wing ladies usually only get annoying to me
when trying to convert me to some form of X'ianity or right-wing thought
(like enabling systemic racism, or hating on the LGBTQ+ community).
Thus... I do get it; I get why so many white people cling to right-wing
ideals - because it's easy. Because it doesn't require effort. Because
they know they have it good and don't want to change; that many of them
love the feeling of superiority over the have-not's. And if they're the
type of people who scare easily and don't think for themselves, they are
more prone to listen to the willful ignorance which tells them to resist
or they'll "lose" that quality of life.
Just because something is "easier" is not
why we should be doing what we do.
I get the message on the left much more - because I am
curious enough to question myself, and the status quo.
Because I believe no one needs to suffer when we have
plenty, but are ruled by a flawed system.
I choose the harder left path, because it's the correct path.
Because it's the path that will make us grow as people.
Because I know, deep in my heart, that we do need to socially change in alignment
with the laws of equality. That on a social and systematic level, women and people
of color and the LGBTQ+ community deserve equal treatment - because we're ALL human.
They have a right to feel safe and confident enough in their surroundings that they
can enjoy the same privilege a white male can when just walking around in public,
let alone making a livelihood. And that white people and most first-world nations
generally need to realize it's not okay to continue exploiting immoral support of
third-world living conditions just because they want to maintain their current
level of comfort and access to consume fancy products.
I may have more privilege as a white male who is mostly hetero, but all
through school when I did date a few guys between the girls, I was bel-
ittled and even beaten for it. Even before I experimented, I was called
gay just because I was always more effeminate. I was molested by trusted
people, so I know how it feels to be overpowered, betrayed, violated,
and forced to go through with something I gave no consent for.
While I'll never have those experiences for being a person of color,
or a woman who almost never feels the confidence or safety that I do,
or for other members of the LGBTQ+ spectrum to peacefully exist, I
know enough that it is wrong for them to suffer that way, and have
to work that much harder to get further ahead in society. That all
the times I was beaten up for being white, it was because of the
flaws a white-dominant system has created to make those people
angry. That all the times I was beaten up for even the idea of
being bisexual, it was out of fear from the status quo norm.
For these reasons and so many more, yes, it might be my privilege
to take a break from social media, but in my personal life, I never
stop the fight to help speak up for those who are disadvantaged due
to a system which refuses to see them as human. Social media isn't
everything. I'm glad I can still make a difference with donations,
or respecting social distance.
That's the OTHER reason I had to walk away from social media:
COVID-19 deniers.
It just boggles my mind beyond anything that not only are much
of the same crowd in denial about a deadly virus, but they're
willing to go out in public without protection, and even make
fun of and harass people who are trying to be safe. They claim
it's "fear mongering", and that we "support the oppression of
everyone's right to freedumb of choice". Oh, except of course,
for when it comes to women and their bodies. Got it.
The worst of these are the white Karens who are the loudest
and most obnoxious assholes of the deniers. They actually
have fake cards now that claim anyone requiring them to
wear masks is restricting their right to freedumb of
expression, belief, or "medical conditions" or what-
ever Karen excuse they can muster.
Okay, Karen.
While white men have been the worst within the last millennium of history when
it comes to oppression of everyone else (yes, exploitation and oppression exi-
sted in other cultures before whitey came along), white women aren't far behind.
In some ways they're worse, because not only have they hid safely in the shadow
of white men, but have manipulated them with fear-filled lies any time a person
of color has even been close to them, or within eyesight. Even without their
guy-shields, most of the feminist movement has benefited the white women more
than any women of color. And any time they are held accountable for their bull-
shit, they use the "white guy oppression" excuse as a means to victimize them-
selves to sound like they're in the "same boat", absolving them of any further
responsibility or guilt for their own actions. That is, until they find a new
opportunity to "get back on top".
I have to be honest - though I love my wife very much,
and I'm grateful she recognizes her own privilege and
has been willing to work together on the issues we've
had as individuals and partners, before meeting her,
I was 99% done with Yankee white women.
Though women anywhere can have bad attitudes and be
manipulative, there's always been a much higher con-
centration of narcissism among white Yankee women,
and most citizens of the U.S. in general.
Conclusion
INTJ for the win
In the end, so long as this world is a mess, while people are in denial
of all the things making society worse, who get defensive over being
called out on their privilege, who would rather continue the abuse
cycle than rise above and truly be progressive in thought for the
sake of all of humanity... I see no reason to feel bad about tak-
ing a more indirect approach in my support.
Sure, I'll donate, I'll treat people equally, I will stand up when
those with privilege treat those with less like less, and I will
continue to try to make people think... I will take advantage of
my privilege to work from home and generally avoid most humans.
If being an introvert is the worst I've done where privilege is
concerned, then that's my weight to bear. I would hope introverts
of all colors, genders, and sexual orientations could some day
find their way to a position like mine. I encourage the ones I
know to do so, and show them how.
Just don't be offended if when I'm in public, I avoid all
eye contact except with those I have to (like cashiers
when self-checkout isn't an option). If the worst I
can do as an introvert is not bother anyone, then
so be it.
This is how I was even before COVID-19.
At least I dislike most humans equally.
Not because of their race, gender, or
sexual preference... but because of
their overall willful ignorance and
selfish nature.
many of us are likely facing.
That feeling when someone you really care about,
whether a friend, family, child, or in general
someone you care about just doesn't get it, and
instead gets defensive about major issues.
Love, Willful Ignorance, and Intersectionality
It's been hitting pretty hard lately.
So hard, that I had to take a break from social media.
I try.
I really try.
I try to be as supportive and middle-ground as possible,
without contributing to the "silence is violence" which
many fall into when they want to play it safe and not
ruffle too many feathers with the people they care
about.
We are all walking contradictions, because no ONE belief or political
view can really be followed to its purest form. A one-size-fits-all
approach never works well; just look at modern medicine, and the
Spanish Inquisition. Even in today's modern world, there are mu-
ltiple ways to interpret one holy manuscript, just as there are
every political system.
/Deep breath...
It's been really hard lately when I've posted something thought-provoking.
Something to get people to think about their white and/or male privilege
(being one myself, and who better to acknowledge it than the target aud-
ience?). And though many have been supportive, it just really and honest-
ly hurt when someone I know is a sweet, caring, and kind friend responded
with inflamed defensiveness followed by pseudo-intellectual articles which
claim to explain why white people shouldn't be held accountable for the
suffering of black people, and how it's all just "Liberal brainwashing"
to make money and win the next election.
It hurts... when you know someone can be so sweet,
comfortable around LGBTQ people, people of color,
and yet, when it comes time to question oneself,
she'd rather get defensive and try to downplay
the suffering of others.
She's not the first, nor the only example.
Just the most recent.
Now, I will say this... it is more often easier for me to get along with some
right-leaning women, because at least they don't act like super suspicious
misandrists, like extremist left women. Around the latter, I feel like I con-
stantly have to prove my worthiness to be in their presence (who act no dif-
ferent than their oppressors; because in their mind, rather than aim for real
equality, it's the goal of the extremists to switch the power dynamic - not
because it's right, but because they either can't cope with their own abuse
experiences, or are simply brainwashed rather than question themselves or
stop the abuse cycle; because like the superiority complex of those on the
right-wing, they feel more secure when they can point the finger and take
power from others). The right-wing ladies usually only get annoying to me
when trying to convert me to some form of X'ianity or right-wing thought
(like enabling systemic racism, or hating on the LGBTQ+ community).
Thus... I do get it; I get why so many white people cling to right-wing
ideals - because it's easy. Because it doesn't require effort. Because
they know they have it good and don't want to change; that many of them
love the feeling of superiority over the have-not's. And if they're the
type of people who scare easily and don't think for themselves, they are
more prone to listen to the willful ignorance which tells them to resist
or they'll "lose" that quality of life.
Just because something is "easier" is not
why we should be doing what we do.
I get the message on the left much more - because I am
curious enough to question myself, and the status quo.
Because I believe no one needs to suffer when we have
plenty, but are ruled by a flawed system.
I choose the harder left path, because it's the correct path.
Because it's the path that will make us grow as people.
Because I know, deep in my heart, that we do need to socially change in alignment
with the laws of equality. That on a social and systematic level, women and people
of color and the LGBTQ+ community deserve equal treatment - because we're ALL human.
They have a right to feel safe and confident enough in their surroundings that they
can enjoy the same privilege a white male can when just walking around in public,
let alone making a livelihood. And that white people and most first-world nations
generally need to realize it's not okay to continue exploiting immoral support of
third-world living conditions just because they want to maintain their current
level of comfort and access to consume fancy products.
I may have more privilege as a white male who is mostly hetero, but all
through school when I did date a few guys between the girls, I was bel-
ittled and even beaten for it. Even before I experimented, I was called
gay just because I was always more effeminate. I was molested by trusted
people, so I know how it feels to be overpowered, betrayed, violated,
and forced to go through with something I gave no consent for.
While I'll never have those experiences for being a person of color,
or a woman who almost never feels the confidence or safety that I do,
or for other members of the LGBTQ+ spectrum to peacefully exist, I
know enough that it is wrong for them to suffer that way, and have
to work that much harder to get further ahead in society. That all
the times I was beaten up for being white, it was because of the
flaws a white-dominant system has created to make those people
angry. That all the times I was beaten up for even the idea of
being bisexual, it was out of fear from the status quo norm.
For these reasons and so many more, yes, it might be my privilege
to take a break from social media, but in my personal life, I never
stop the fight to help speak up for those who are disadvantaged due
to a system which refuses to see them as human. Social media isn't
everything. I'm glad I can still make a difference with donations,
or respecting social distance.
That's the OTHER reason I had to walk away from social media:
COVID-19 deniers.
It just boggles my mind beyond anything that not only are much
of the same crowd in denial about a deadly virus, but they're
willing to go out in public without protection, and even make
fun of and harass people who are trying to be safe. They claim
it's "fear mongering", and that we "support the oppression of
everyone's right to freedumb of choice". Oh, except of course,
for when it comes to women and their bodies. Got it.
The worst of these are the white Karens who are the loudest
and most obnoxious assholes of the deniers. They actually
have fake cards now that claim anyone requiring them to
wear masks is restricting their right to freedumb of
expression, belief, or "medical conditions" or what-
ever Karen excuse they can muster.
Okay, Karen.
While white men have been the worst within the last millennium of history when
it comes to oppression of everyone else (yes, exploitation and oppression exi-
sted in other cultures before whitey came along), white women aren't far behind.
In some ways they're worse, because not only have they hid safely in the shadow
of white men, but have manipulated them with fear-filled lies any time a person
of color has even been close to them, or within eyesight. Even without their
guy-shields, most of the feminist movement has benefited the white women more
than any women of color. And any time they are held accountable for their bull-
shit, they use the "white guy oppression" excuse as a means to victimize them-
selves to sound like they're in the "same boat", absolving them of any further
responsibility or guilt for their own actions. That is, until they find a new
opportunity to "get back on top".
I have to be honest - though I love my wife very much,
and I'm grateful she recognizes her own privilege and
has been willing to work together on the issues we've
had as individuals and partners, before meeting her,
I was 99% done with Yankee white women.
Though women anywhere can have bad attitudes and be
manipulative, there's always been a much higher con-
centration of narcissism among white Yankee women,
and most citizens of the U.S. in general.
Conclusion
INTJ for the win
In the end, so long as this world is a mess, while people are in denial
of all the things making society worse, who get defensive over being
called out on their privilege, who would rather continue the abuse
cycle than rise above and truly be progressive in thought for the
sake of all of humanity... I see no reason to feel bad about tak-
ing a more indirect approach in my support.
Sure, I'll donate, I'll treat people equally, I will stand up when
those with privilege treat those with less like less, and I will
continue to try to make people think... I will take advantage of
my privilege to work from home and generally avoid most humans.
If being an introvert is the worst I've done where privilege is
concerned, then that's my weight to bear. I would hope introverts
of all colors, genders, and sexual orientations could some day
find their way to a position like mine. I encourage the ones I
know to do so, and show them how.
Just don't be offended if when I'm in public, I avoid all
eye contact except with those I have to (like cashiers
when self-checkout isn't an option). If the worst I
can do as an introvert is not bother anyone, then
so be it.
This is how I was even before COVID-19.
At least I dislike most humans equally.
Not because of their race, gender, or
sexual preference... but because of
their overall willful ignorance and
selfish nature.