My Name is Jarl: The First Rule of Fight Guild (29 work-safe images, OMG!)
(( Previously on My Name is Jarl, our "hero" made the trek to Balmora and met Caius Cosades, an Imperial spy who wanted Jarl in his employ. Oh, and we got ourselves a map.))
Busy evening tonight, journal! We're going to join some guilds, is what we're going to do!
Looks like some fog's rolling in. It might be getting chilly, I don't know. Being immune to cold is great. It lets me pass out drunk in a snowbank and not freeze to death! Or, well, I imagine it does. I've never gotten drunk enough to pass out, and I can't remember anything before the jail boat, so maybe I've never even seen a snowbank. But that would be weird. Moving on.
I met the steward of the Fighters' Guild here in town. I thought about asking if that means she's a stewardess, but I don't have very good armor yet. But hey! Now I've got a job!
It lacks a certain glamour I'd been hoping for, but I guess I'll just have to work my way up to the good stuff. And at least I get to chop things!
But first, the Mages' Guild is right next door, and I might as well go in and see what the scrawny spellslingers make of a man like me.
It's really dark in here. Doesn't that make it hard to read? Wouldn't that, I don't know, cause some problems with magic? Anyway, this Ranis woman runs the place. She says they've got room for people with no more magic than me, sure, and even some jobs. She just doesn't have time to give them to me. Instead, I should talk to some apprentice cat in the basement. Really?
Oh, yeah, the rules are pretty much like the Fighters' Guild, too--follow orders, don't do stuff to guildies, all that. Anyway, to the basement:
Okay, that's actually a fairly nice basement. It's got a tree in it. It must grow on magic, since there's still no damn light. Where's the cat lady? Ow! CHOPS! I hit my knee on a chair. Don't tell anyone, magic journal.
There she is, stuck in a back room behind a desk. Great, starting at the bottom again. This time, literally. We talk.
She also sells potions, and told me a little about that "Telvanni bug musk" I picked up. Seems the Telvanni are the local wizards, and they've got this magic bug perfume that gets people hot and bothered. I'll have to hang on to the stuff, in case my natural charms don't do the job someday. Uh, don't tell anyone about that, either, magic journal. It's just between you and me.
I also ask around a little, find out what kinds of spells a Nord like me could learn. Magic's no substitute for chopping, I know, but you never know, they might have something good. A water-into-booze spell, maybe?
Hey, orcs have grannies, too!
I like her! She doesn't throw sharp, deadly cookies at me. She is kind of cranky, though, kept yelling about interruptions and too much noise whenever I tried to talk to her, which is funny, 'cause she was the one yelling. Old people are crazy. She also wouldn't talk to me while I had the funny powder or the little potion I picked up in that smuggler's cave. She said she doesn't want to buy any moon sugar or skooma, so I guess those things have names, and I should maybe be careful who I show this stuff to. Anyway, she knows some spells, too.
Right! All this getting hired is thirsty work, time for a drink! I'll go hit that "South Wall" place I noticed earlier. Hey, I can't argue with the service by the door.
While I'm asking her about drinks, and where to find people, I let slip that I'm looking for the Thieves' Guild. Looks like I came to the right place. She points me to a cat everyone calls "Sugar-Lips." I don't want to know.
Huh. "Be loyal to the guild and screw everybody else" seems to be a common theme with these Imperial guilds. I hope I don't get stuck between two that don't like each other.
Habasi says she's got a job stealing diamonds from an alchemist in town that I could try. She also calls me a toad, and I'm reaching for my axe when she says it's a guild rank. Okay, I guess I don't have to split her head for that. But wow, all this guild-joining, and still not a drink! I go downstairs to look for the bar.
Well, it's better lit than the Mages' Guild, at least. What's with everyone living in the basements around here? Well, okay, I suppose it is kind of hot upstairs. But shouldn't it be cold this far north? Anyway, let's meet the regulars!
First up, another cat lady (I'm seeing way too many of these, lately. Did I sit in some tuna without realizing it? Maybe it's this crab meat I'm carrying.) She's selling lockpicks. Is it racist to say all the cat-girls kind of look the same to me? I hope not.
There's also an Argonian with the most amazing ears. Seriously, he could fly to Skyrim on those. He looked kind of wizard-y, with the robes and all, so I asked him if he knew any spells. Seems I struck a nerve--don't know why. Weird.
Finally, some drinks. I had a few with this guy, who talked local politics. I dunno, magic journal, do you think this is going to be important later? Sounds like just the same old thing. I tried to ask a little more about this Camonna Tong bunch, but he clammed up and I didn't feel like buying him another round. Hey, maybe I should get to work.
And we're back to crazy old ladies. This one's hiring big, strong fighters to come kill a few rats, because she's afraid they'll eat her precious, precious pillows. And okay, the rats are damn big, I'll give her that. But honestly? I went through this lady's attic (and kept a couple potions and some darts), and she's got whole baskets of nothing but pillows! Pillows, pillows, pillows! If each of those rats had eaten its weight in pillows, she still would've had too many damn pillows! But hey, she paid me, and didn't notice the stuff I took by the time I left, so who cares? She can have her pillows, and I can have the rest.
So hey, time to rob an alchemist! Let's just go inside and check the place out.
Aw, no! The diamonds are on the middle shelf, right in front of her! And there's a guard here in the room--no way I can grab those without getting caught. Got to think this through. Maybe I can hit the stockroom if nobody's watching. Okay, let's see what's... upstairs?
Ah HA! On a shelf over the bed, a small locked chest! This would be the perfect place to put extra diamonds. Especially since I know they aren't in the other chests I dug through already. And me with that brand-new lockpick I pulled out of Fargoth's stump. I'll put it to good use here... rgh... opening this... any time now... aw, chops. I broke it. I'm not so good with lockpicks, after all. How could I open this chest? Hmm...
Oh! I know! Those mages had a bunch of scrolls and spells and things for opening doors, I'll go talk to them! And a few minutes later, with it getting good and dark out, I'm back. Only now, I know a spell! I learned my first spell, magic journal! Watch me cast it!
SHAZAM!
Ha! Three diamonds, magic journal! One for Habasi, and two for me! And my spell worked on the first try! That's a good omen, don't you think? I'll just check back in with my bosses; Eydis isn't impressed, and I got paid already by crazy pillow lady, so there's not much to say there. Habasi is pleased, but can't give me any money. She does give me an invisibility potion, though, so I guess that's something.
Speaking of checking back with the bosses, wasn't there something I was supposed to do?
Oh yeah! Time to go check in with Caius. He's a little happier, now that I'm willing to work for him. And does he have a lot to say!
Wait, what? Man, I just did join some guilds and do some jobs. What kind of spy are you that you don't know what's going on in your own town? You know what, screw it, it's too late for me to deal with this crap tonight. It's creepy, but the price is right, so I'll take your free bed and try to decide what to do in the morning.
Hold on, what's that?
...son of an axe.
((Alright, Sages, we've had a full day of adventuring, so what should we do tomorrow? Also, what should we do with the wealth we've amassed thus far?
A. Better gear (weapons and armor).
B. Potions and scrolls.
C. Learn spells.
D. Train up your skills.
E. Blow it all on cheap women and cheaper booze.
Also, we got hurt pretty bad just fighting three rats, so how should we handle healing in the future?
A. Use potions, and sleep as little as possible.
B. Conserve potions for life-and-death situations, sleep as often as necessary to stay in peak health.
C. Healing is for wimps and crybabies. Power through your foes with an axe and a madman's bloodlust, and heal only when the quest is done!
Guide me, O Sages, for the fate of the realm is in your hands.))
Busy evening tonight, journal! We're going to join some guilds, is what we're going to do!
Looks like some fog's rolling in. It might be getting chilly, I don't know. Being immune to cold is great. It lets me pass out drunk in a snowbank and not freeze to death! Or, well, I imagine it does. I've never gotten drunk enough to pass out, and I can't remember anything before the jail boat, so maybe I've never even seen a snowbank. But that would be weird. Moving on.
I met the steward of the Fighters' Guild here in town. I thought about asking if that means she's a stewardess, but I don't have very good armor yet. But hey! Now I've got a job!
It lacks a certain glamour I'd been hoping for, but I guess I'll just have to work my way up to the good stuff. And at least I get to chop things!
But first, the Mages' Guild is right next door, and I might as well go in and see what the scrawny spellslingers make of a man like me.
It's really dark in here. Doesn't that make it hard to read? Wouldn't that, I don't know, cause some problems with magic? Anyway, this Ranis woman runs the place. She says they've got room for people with no more magic than me, sure, and even some jobs. She just doesn't have time to give them to me. Instead, I should talk to some apprentice cat in the basement. Really?
Oh, yeah, the rules are pretty much like the Fighters' Guild, too--follow orders, don't do stuff to guildies, all that. Anyway, to the basement:
Okay, that's actually a fairly nice basement. It's got a tree in it. It must grow on magic, since there's still no damn light. Where's the cat lady? Ow! CHOPS! I hit my knee on a chair. Don't tell anyone, magic journal.
There she is, stuck in a back room behind a desk. Great, starting at the bottom again. This time, literally. We talk.
She also sells potions, and told me a little about that "Telvanni bug musk" I picked up. Seems the Telvanni are the local wizards, and they've got this magic bug perfume that gets people hot and bothered. I'll have to hang on to the stuff, in case my natural charms don't do the job someday. Uh, don't tell anyone about that, either, magic journal. It's just between you and me.
I also ask around a little, find out what kinds of spells a Nord like me could learn. Magic's no substitute for chopping, I know, but you never know, they might have something good. A water-into-booze spell, maybe?
Hey, orcs have grannies, too!
I like her! She doesn't throw sharp, deadly cookies at me. She is kind of cranky, though, kept yelling about interruptions and too much noise whenever I tried to talk to her, which is funny, 'cause she was the one yelling. Old people are crazy. She also wouldn't talk to me while I had the funny powder or the little potion I picked up in that smuggler's cave. She said she doesn't want to buy any moon sugar or skooma, so I guess those things have names, and I should maybe be careful who I show this stuff to. Anyway, she knows some spells, too.
Right! All this getting hired is thirsty work, time for a drink! I'll go hit that "South Wall" place I noticed earlier. Hey, I can't argue with the service by the door.
While I'm asking her about drinks, and where to find people, I let slip that I'm looking for the Thieves' Guild. Looks like I came to the right place. She points me to a cat everyone calls "Sugar-Lips." I don't want to know.
Huh. "Be loyal to the guild and screw everybody else" seems to be a common theme with these Imperial guilds. I hope I don't get stuck between two that don't like each other.
Habasi says she's got a job stealing diamonds from an alchemist in town that I could try. She also calls me a toad, and I'm reaching for my axe when she says it's a guild rank. Okay, I guess I don't have to split her head for that. But wow, all this guild-joining, and still not a drink! I go downstairs to look for the bar.
Well, it's better lit than the Mages' Guild, at least. What's with everyone living in the basements around here? Well, okay, I suppose it is kind of hot upstairs. But shouldn't it be cold this far north? Anyway, let's meet the regulars!
First up, another cat lady (I'm seeing way too many of these, lately. Did I sit in some tuna without realizing it? Maybe it's this crab meat I'm carrying.) She's selling lockpicks. Is it racist to say all the cat-girls kind of look the same to me? I hope not.
There's also an Argonian with the most amazing ears. Seriously, he could fly to Skyrim on those. He looked kind of wizard-y, with the robes and all, so I asked him if he knew any spells. Seems I struck a nerve--don't know why. Weird.
Finally, some drinks. I had a few with this guy, who talked local politics. I dunno, magic journal, do you think this is going to be important later? Sounds like just the same old thing. I tried to ask a little more about this Camonna Tong bunch, but he clammed up and I didn't feel like buying him another round. Hey, maybe I should get to work.
And we're back to crazy old ladies. This one's hiring big, strong fighters to come kill a few rats, because she's afraid they'll eat her precious, precious pillows. And okay, the rats are damn big, I'll give her that. But honestly? I went through this lady's attic (and kept a couple potions and some darts), and she's got whole baskets of nothing but pillows! Pillows, pillows, pillows! If each of those rats had eaten its weight in pillows, she still would've had too many damn pillows! But hey, she paid me, and didn't notice the stuff I took by the time I left, so who cares? She can have her pillows, and I can have the rest.
So hey, time to rob an alchemist! Let's just go inside and check the place out.
Aw, no! The diamonds are on the middle shelf, right in front of her! And there's a guard here in the room--no way I can grab those without getting caught. Got to think this through. Maybe I can hit the stockroom if nobody's watching. Okay, let's see what's... upstairs?
Ah HA! On a shelf over the bed, a small locked chest! This would be the perfect place to put extra diamonds. Especially since I know they aren't in the other chests I dug through already. And me with that brand-new lockpick I pulled out of Fargoth's stump. I'll put it to good use here... rgh... opening this... any time now... aw, chops. I broke it. I'm not so good with lockpicks, after all. How could I open this chest? Hmm...
Oh! I know! Those mages had a bunch of scrolls and spells and things for opening doors, I'll go talk to them! And a few minutes later, with it getting good and dark out, I'm back. Only now, I know a spell! I learned my first spell, magic journal! Watch me cast it!
SHAZAM!
Ha! Three diamonds, magic journal! One for Habasi, and two for me! And my spell worked on the first try! That's a good omen, don't you think? I'll just check back in with my bosses; Eydis isn't impressed, and I got paid already by crazy pillow lady, so there's not much to say there. Habasi is pleased, but can't give me any money. She does give me an invisibility potion, though, so I guess that's something.
Speaking of checking back with the bosses, wasn't there something I was supposed to do?
Oh yeah! Time to go check in with Caius. He's a little happier, now that I'm willing to work for him. And does he have a lot to say!
Wait, what? Man, I just did join some guilds and do some jobs. What kind of spy are you that you don't know what's going on in your own town? You know what, screw it, it's too late for me to deal with this crap tonight. It's creepy, but the price is right, so I'll take your free bed and try to decide what to do in the morning.
Hold on, what's that?
...son of an axe.
((Alright, Sages, we've had a full day of adventuring, so what should we do tomorrow? Also, what should we do with the wealth we've amassed thus far?
A. Better gear (weapons and armor).
B. Potions and scrolls.
C. Learn spells.
D. Train up your skills.
E. Blow it all on cheap women and cheaper booze.
Also, we got hurt pretty bad just fighting three rats, so how should we handle healing in the future?
A. Use potions, and sleep as little as possible.
B. Conserve potions for life-and-death situations, sleep as often as necessary to stay in peak health.
C. Healing is for wimps and crybabies. Power through your foes with an axe and a madman's bloodlust, and heal only when the quest is done!
Guide me, O Sages, for the fate of the realm is in your hands.))