[PG13][Oneshot] - And Then There Were Four...
Title: And Then There Were Four...
Author: sahbeL@LJ
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys. <3
Characters/Pairings: JaeMin Hyung/Dongsaeng. Mild JaeHo&YooSu
Prompt: "I fell off a building" (from myself)
Word Count: 1843
Summary: When you can't take back something that's just so wrong.
Author's Notes: So this fic was mainly inspired by the line "i fell off a building" and then i couldn't get the idea out of my head so i had to write it. >.< And with this fic also comes sahbeL's true colours. LOL. coz seriously you guys, I don't know why most of my posts on LJ are all fluff and schmoopy love coz I mainly write angst! like... yeah. like..a lot. So here's just a taste of the dark side. I hope you still enjoy, and don't kill me. ^^ And this was written for in:com from awhile back but I'm moving to LJ =) sort of. hahaha
--x-
The sun’s streaming through the windows into their apartment and the day is beautiful. There’s not a cloud in the sky and JaeJoong smiles as he moves comfortably around his kitchen. He doesn’t know where the others are, but somehow he knows that he’s alone in the apartment. JaeJoong places the pot of water on the stove and while he waits for it to boil, he wanders into the living room and gathers up the random materials of clothing scattered everywhere - thanks to a crazily hectic schedule.
He stands by the window and folds a shirt that has long since been used by all five of them, so he doesn’t bother trying to figure out who owns it. He’s happy today. Beautiful day, beautiful life…what more could one ask for? As JaeJoong thinks this, there’s a noise at the front door and Changmin wanders into the apartment with a sheepish look on his face.
JaeJoong gasps. His hair is all messed. There’s scratches on his face and what looks like…soot?…on his nose. His jeans are torn right through the knees and there’s a massive hole in his shirt. There’s a cut the length of JaeJoong’s little finger on Changmin’s right temple, but other than that, the youngest looks fine, and to back that up, he has the goofiest expression on his naturally handsome face.
JaeJoong smirks at him and thinks that Changmin should quit exploring the park at the back of their apartment.
"What…happened to you?"
Changmin stands in front of him like a guilty child. "I fell off a building."
JaeJoong chokes back a cough. "Truthfully now…" he prompts the youngest.
Changmin looks affronted by JaeJoong’s silent accusation that he is lying. "I’m serious!" he protests with a laugh. "And I’m fine, thanks for asking…"
JaeJoong purses his lips to hide the smile trying to explode out of him and shakes his head instead. He tries to be a good Umma and at least appear to be half displeased.
But then Changmin flashes him that smile. The one where one eye is smaller than the other and makes him look like he’s all of twelve years young, and JaeJoong sighs and decides that it’s no use even trying to look displeased because he can never be angry at his baby.
So instead, he ruffles a hand through Changmin’s hair, guides his body around so that he’s facing the kitchen and nudges the youngest towards the opening. He switches off the boiling water, grabs the first aid kit from the top left cabinet and places it on the table.
"Hyung, I’m fine, really," Changmin states calmly as he drops down onto one of the chairs around the dining table. He might as well be talking to a brick wall because JaeJoong already has the antiseptic out of its box and the disinfectant alcohol in his hand.
JaeJoong motions for Changmin to tilt his head and proceeds to dab at the shallow cut. Changmin hisses through clenched teeth.
"You see? This is what you get for poking around at things you shouldn’t be poking at…" JaeJoong scolds lightly.
"Hyung. I’m fine. Really…" Changmin says again.
JaeJoong ignores him and continues to dab alcohol around the thin slice in Changmin’s skin. He should’ve warned the youngest. Should’ve kept a better eye on him. Should’ve made him stay indoors instead. JaeJoong clucks his tongue and shakes his head as he dabs antiseptic onto the already clotting cut.
"Hyung." Changmin says. The tone in his voice and the gentle grip on his wrist makes JaeJoong stop. Changmin is looking up at him with a strange expression on his face, his eyes devoid of the mischievousness that was there before as he meets JaeJoong’s gaze.
"It wasn’t your fault." The youngest murmurs softly.
JaeJoong frowns at him. "Of course it wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t even there…"
Changmin smiles sadly at him, and suddenly JaeJoong starts to get this sinking feeling deep in his gut. Like he’s missing something.
"It wasn’t your fault, okay hyung? Always remember that. You couldn’t have done anything…"
Changmin continues to gaze at him and JaeJoong’s brow crinkles into a baffled frown. "What are you talking about, Changmin-ah?"
Changmin’s smile fades but the youngest continues to smile at him through the look in his eyes. It was the sad and apologetic expression that was with it that made the back of JaeJoong’s neck prickle uncomfortably.
"I’m okay now, hyung. It’s okay. You don’t need to take care of me anymore, I’m fine."
JaeJoong’s confused frown deepens and he takes a step back from Changmin. He’s not quite sure if he should call a doctor - because Changmin clearly has a concussion - or if he should just handle this himself and take the youngest to the hospital instead.
"What’s gotten into you, Dongsaengie? Did something happen that I should know about? Tell me, and I’ll fix it for my Changmin-ah…"
Changmin sighs with a resigned expression on his face and then he rises to his feet with the same sadness in his eyes that continues to baffle JaeJoong. Before he can ask Changmin about it, the youngest slowly leans forward and gently wraps JaeJoong into his arms.
It’s an automatic reaction that he doesn’t need to think about as JaeJoong returns the hug wholeheartedly with his arms hooking up Changmin’s shoulder blades and hands clasping over Changmin’s shoulders - the way he’s always hugged Changmin since the younger boy began to tower over him, complete with long gawky legs and knobbly knees.
The whisper in his ear tickles and makes the little hairs on his skin tingle with goose bumps. "Hyung…I’m okay now. It’s not your fault. It’s okay now… you don’t have to take care of me anymore, I’m fine…"
"Changmin-ah stop this. What are you talking about?!" JaeJoong demands heatedly as he pulls away from Changmin’s gentle embrace.
They stare at each other in silence until JaeJoong sighs in exasperation and turns away with a huff. Changmin swallows quietly and looks at the ground.
After what seems like an eternity of silence, his dongsaeng murmurs again, "It’s not your fault…"
JaeJoong sighs with impatience and annoyance at Changmin’s persistence. He doesn’t like the way his dongsaeng’s ’babble’ is making him feel. All ugly and twisted inside as if there was a knife in his gut and a bullet in his heart. He moves to walk out of the kitchen, but before he can clear the room…
"Hyung…"
Changmin’s voice stops him - and maybe it’s just the light, but Changmin’s eyes look like they’re holding back tears as he smiles at JaeJoong and murmurs softly and sadly...
"I fell off a building."
---
His eyes snap open and he wakes with a strangled gasp. JaeJoong shoots into a sitting position as if his bed’s on fire. He breathes in once…
twice…
and then let’s out a piercing, blood curdling, heart-broken scream. He screams, and he screams and he screams. And he keeps screaming because he doesn’t know what else to do. He wants to break something, or kill something, anything to make the pain stop.
And then his door swings open and Yunho’s rushing into the room. His best friend doesn’t hesitate to crawl over his mattress, take his shoulders and haul him into a tight embrace.
"Joongie, it’s okay. It’s okay. We’ll get through this. We can get through this together, it’s okay. It’s okay!"
But JaeJoong’s still screaming in horror. His baby! His baby! What happened to his Changmin-ah. His Dongsaengie. He can’t stop the hot tears spilling down his face and he can’t stop the horrible screaming coming out of his mouth. There’s a spot in his chest that’s burning as if a piece of it had been blown off with a shotgun.
"Bring him back! I want him back! I want him back!!!" JaeJoong screams brokenly. "I want him back!"
Yunho just holds him tighter. Makes cooing noises and hopes that it’ll at least lull JaeJoong back to sleep, back to where Changmin is still alive.
"We can get through this…" Yunho chokes out, and repeats it over and over until he can’t tell if he’s still trying to comfort JaeJoong or convince himself that they can get through this.
Eventually, JaeJoong’s screams die down until they are hoarse whimpers and then small whines. He breathes like he can’t get enough air inside him; as if it hurts for him to take in air…and he’s hunched over, cheek resting on Yunho’s shoulder, shivering and sighing fitfully.
Eventually, JaeJoong falls back to sleep - deep enough for Yunho to lay his eldest back down into bed and tuck the blankets around him. He blinks back tears that he’d just recently stopped shedding after more than 48 hours of endless, mind-numbing grief.
"We can get through this…" he murmurs again, the sadness in his heart so strong that he feels like his heart is lead.
He stays a little longer to make sure that JaeJoong doesn’t wake up screaming again before stepping out of the room.
To check on the other two. His other two.
Because the younger of the two is still crying and can’t seem to stop, and all the elder of the two can do is hold him. Hold him strongly and tightly, because maybe his embrace can keep Junsu from falling apart and flying into a million different pieces.
Yoochun hasn’t cried yet.
---
Three hours later, JaeJoong emerges from his room looking haggard and completely broken. He steps into the living room where the other three are sitting, huddled together in grief. The 6 hours of broken sleep doesn’t seem to have done him any good as he gazes at them with a vacant stare.
Wordlessly, he takes another step forward and purposely meets Yoochun’s hard gaze. A moment goes by as they stare at each other. Yunho pulls Junsu away from Yoochun and shifts so that his wide-eyed dongsaeng can slump against him instead.
JaeJoong and Yoochun continue to stare at each other. Yoochun purses his lips and clenches his fists tight, as if he’s trying to fight something he can’t control.
JaeJoong continues to stare at him gently. Painfully…
and finally, Yoochun swallows the lump in his throat, struggles to blink away the burn in his eyes…fails…
and then lets the tears fall.
---
It’s another two days before they lay him to rest. JaeJoong doesn’t say the "D" word and Yunho stays tall and strong. Junsu doesn’t speak and Yoochun doesn’t so much as blink as his dongsaeng is lowered into the ground.
It rains with calla lilies…a symbol for death. The day is like JaeJoong’s dream, and he hates the irony of it all. The cruelty of it all.
Because now they are only four.
Their five is broken…and now they are only four.
--x-
*cringe* guess i should've warned you guys that this fic has character death. *falls* it's my FIRST and only fic where a I've had the courage to finally erm...kill..(argh! I can't even say it.. lol) a character.
comments? don't hate me. lol.
Author: sahbeL@LJ
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys. <3
Characters/Pairings: JaeMin Hyung/Dongsaeng. Mild JaeHo&YooSu
Prompt: "I fell off a building" (from myself)
Word Count: 1843
Summary: When you can't take back something that's just so wrong.
Author's Notes: So this fic was mainly inspired by the line "i fell off a building" and then i couldn't get the idea out of my head so i had to write it. >.< And with this fic also comes sahbeL's true colours. LOL. coz seriously you guys, I don't know why most of my posts on LJ are all fluff and schmoopy love coz I mainly write angst! like... yeah. like..a lot. So here's just a taste of the dark side. I hope you still enjoy, and don't kill me. ^^ And this was written for in:com from awhile back but I'm moving to LJ =) sort of. hahaha
--x-
The sun’s streaming through the windows into their apartment and the day is beautiful. There’s not a cloud in the sky and JaeJoong smiles as he moves comfortably around his kitchen. He doesn’t know where the others are, but somehow he knows that he’s alone in the apartment. JaeJoong places the pot of water on the stove and while he waits for it to boil, he wanders into the living room and gathers up the random materials of clothing scattered everywhere - thanks to a crazily hectic schedule.
He stands by the window and folds a shirt that has long since been used by all five of them, so he doesn’t bother trying to figure out who owns it. He’s happy today. Beautiful day, beautiful life…what more could one ask for? As JaeJoong thinks this, there’s a noise at the front door and Changmin wanders into the apartment with a sheepish look on his face.
JaeJoong gasps. His hair is all messed. There’s scratches on his face and what looks like…soot?…on his nose. His jeans are torn right through the knees and there’s a massive hole in his shirt. There’s a cut the length of JaeJoong’s little finger on Changmin’s right temple, but other than that, the youngest looks fine, and to back that up, he has the goofiest expression on his naturally handsome face.
JaeJoong smirks at him and thinks that Changmin should quit exploring the park at the back of their apartment.
"What…happened to you?"
Changmin stands in front of him like a guilty child. "I fell off a building."
JaeJoong chokes back a cough. "Truthfully now…" he prompts the youngest.
Changmin looks affronted by JaeJoong’s silent accusation that he is lying. "I’m serious!" he protests with a laugh. "And I’m fine, thanks for asking…"
JaeJoong purses his lips to hide the smile trying to explode out of him and shakes his head instead. He tries to be a good Umma and at least appear to be half displeased.
But then Changmin flashes him that smile. The one where one eye is smaller than the other and makes him look like he’s all of twelve years young, and JaeJoong sighs and decides that it’s no use even trying to look displeased because he can never be angry at his baby.
So instead, he ruffles a hand through Changmin’s hair, guides his body around so that he’s facing the kitchen and nudges the youngest towards the opening. He switches off the boiling water, grabs the first aid kit from the top left cabinet and places it on the table.
"Hyung, I’m fine, really," Changmin states calmly as he drops down onto one of the chairs around the dining table. He might as well be talking to a brick wall because JaeJoong already has the antiseptic out of its box and the disinfectant alcohol in his hand.
JaeJoong motions for Changmin to tilt his head and proceeds to dab at the shallow cut. Changmin hisses through clenched teeth.
"You see? This is what you get for poking around at things you shouldn’t be poking at…" JaeJoong scolds lightly.
"Hyung. I’m fine. Really…" Changmin says again.
JaeJoong ignores him and continues to dab alcohol around the thin slice in Changmin’s skin. He should’ve warned the youngest. Should’ve kept a better eye on him. Should’ve made him stay indoors instead. JaeJoong clucks his tongue and shakes his head as he dabs antiseptic onto the already clotting cut.
"Hyung." Changmin says. The tone in his voice and the gentle grip on his wrist makes JaeJoong stop. Changmin is looking up at him with a strange expression on his face, his eyes devoid of the mischievousness that was there before as he meets JaeJoong’s gaze.
"It wasn’t your fault." The youngest murmurs softly.
JaeJoong frowns at him. "Of course it wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t even there…"
Changmin smiles sadly at him, and suddenly JaeJoong starts to get this sinking feeling deep in his gut. Like he’s missing something.
"It wasn’t your fault, okay hyung? Always remember that. You couldn’t have done anything…"
Changmin continues to gaze at him and JaeJoong’s brow crinkles into a baffled frown. "What are you talking about, Changmin-ah?"
Changmin’s smile fades but the youngest continues to smile at him through the look in his eyes. It was the sad and apologetic expression that was with it that made the back of JaeJoong’s neck prickle uncomfortably.
"I’m okay now, hyung. It’s okay. You don’t need to take care of me anymore, I’m fine."
JaeJoong’s confused frown deepens and he takes a step back from Changmin. He’s not quite sure if he should call a doctor - because Changmin clearly has a concussion - or if he should just handle this himself and take the youngest to the hospital instead.
"What’s gotten into you, Dongsaengie? Did something happen that I should know about? Tell me, and I’ll fix it for my Changmin-ah…"
Changmin sighs with a resigned expression on his face and then he rises to his feet with the same sadness in his eyes that continues to baffle JaeJoong. Before he can ask Changmin about it, the youngest slowly leans forward and gently wraps JaeJoong into his arms.
It’s an automatic reaction that he doesn’t need to think about as JaeJoong returns the hug wholeheartedly with his arms hooking up Changmin’s shoulder blades and hands clasping over Changmin’s shoulders - the way he’s always hugged Changmin since the younger boy began to tower over him, complete with long gawky legs and knobbly knees.
The whisper in his ear tickles and makes the little hairs on his skin tingle with goose bumps. "Hyung…I’m okay now. It’s not your fault. It’s okay now… you don’t have to take care of me anymore, I’m fine…"
"Changmin-ah stop this. What are you talking about?!" JaeJoong demands heatedly as he pulls away from Changmin’s gentle embrace.
They stare at each other in silence until JaeJoong sighs in exasperation and turns away with a huff. Changmin swallows quietly and looks at the ground.
After what seems like an eternity of silence, his dongsaeng murmurs again, "It’s not your fault…"
JaeJoong sighs with impatience and annoyance at Changmin’s persistence. He doesn’t like the way his dongsaeng’s ’babble’ is making him feel. All ugly and twisted inside as if there was a knife in his gut and a bullet in his heart. He moves to walk out of the kitchen, but before he can clear the room…
"Hyung…"
Changmin’s voice stops him - and maybe it’s just the light, but Changmin’s eyes look like they’re holding back tears as he smiles at JaeJoong and murmurs softly and sadly...
"I fell off a building."
---
His eyes snap open and he wakes with a strangled gasp. JaeJoong shoots into a sitting position as if his bed’s on fire. He breathes in once…
twice…
and then let’s out a piercing, blood curdling, heart-broken scream. He screams, and he screams and he screams. And he keeps screaming because he doesn’t know what else to do. He wants to break something, or kill something, anything to make the pain stop.
And then his door swings open and Yunho’s rushing into the room. His best friend doesn’t hesitate to crawl over his mattress, take his shoulders and haul him into a tight embrace.
"Joongie, it’s okay. It’s okay. We’ll get through this. We can get through this together, it’s okay. It’s okay!"
But JaeJoong’s still screaming in horror. His baby! His baby! What happened to his Changmin-ah. His Dongsaengie. He can’t stop the hot tears spilling down his face and he can’t stop the horrible screaming coming out of his mouth. There’s a spot in his chest that’s burning as if a piece of it had been blown off with a shotgun.
"Bring him back! I want him back! I want him back!!!" JaeJoong screams brokenly. "I want him back!"
Yunho just holds him tighter. Makes cooing noises and hopes that it’ll at least lull JaeJoong back to sleep, back to where Changmin is still alive.
"We can get through this…" Yunho chokes out, and repeats it over and over until he can’t tell if he’s still trying to comfort JaeJoong or convince himself that they can get through this.
Eventually, JaeJoong’s screams die down until they are hoarse whimpers and then small whines. He breathes like he can’t get enough air inside him; as if it hurts for him to take in air…and he’s hunched over, cheek resting on Yunho’s shoulder, shivering and sighing fitfully.
Eventually, JaeJoong falls back to sleep - deep enough for Yunho to lay his eldest back down into bed and tuck the blankets around him. He blinks back tears that he’d just recently stopped shedding after more than 48 hours of endless, mind-numbing grief.
"We can get through this…" he murmurs again, the sadness in his heart so strong that he feels like his heart is lead.
He stays a little longer to make sure that JaeJoong doesn’t wake up screaming again before stepping out of the room.
To check on the other two. His other two.
Because the younger of the two is still crying and can’t seem to stop, and all the elder of the two can do is hold him. Hold him strongly and tightly, because maybe his embrace can keep Junsu from falling apart and flying into a million different pieces.
Yoochun hasn’t cried yet.
---
Three hours later, JaeJoong emerges from his room looking haggard and completely broken. He steps into the living room where the other three are sitting, huddled together in grief. The 6 hours of broken sleep doesn’t seem to have done him any good as he gazes at them with a vacant stare.
Wordlessly, he takes another step forward and purposely meets Yoochun’s hard gaze. A moment goes by as they stare at each other. Yunho pulls Junsu away from Yoochun and shifts so that his wide-eyed dongsaeng can slump against him instead.
JaeJoong and Yoochun continue to stare at each other. Yoochun purses his lips and clenches his fists tight, as if he’s trying to fight something he can’t control.
JaeJoong continues to stare at him gently. Painfully…
and finally, Yoochun swallows the lump in his throat, struggles to blink away the burn in his eyes…fails…
and then lets the tears fall.
---
It’s another two days before they lay him to rest. JaeJoong doesn’t say the "D" word and Yunho stays tall and strong. Junsu doesn’t speak and Yoochun doesn’t so much as blink as his dongsaeng is lowered into the ground.
It rains with calla lilies…a symbol for death. The day is like JaeJoong’s dream, and he hates the irony of it all. The cruelty of it all.
Because now they are only four.
Their five is broken…and now they are only four.
--x-
*cringe* guess i should've warned you guys that this fic has character death. *falls* it's my FIRST and only fic where a I've had the courage to finally erm...kill..(argh! I can't even say it.. lol) a character.
comments? don't hate me. lol.