Just Another Love Story- Part 1
Title: Just Another Love Story- Part 1
Rating: R/NC17
Pairing: Matsuken/Nino, slightly Ohno/Nino
Disclaimer: I guess Johnny’s technically owns Arashi, huh? Not me.
Summary: Just when he had given up trying, Nino manages to find love.
Note: Not betaed. Also, I don't pretend to know much about being gay in Japan and/or Johnny's Entertainment. These are just my own personal observations which I used for my own end.
He had figured out that he didn’t like girls within his first week of working for Johnny’s. It became painfully clear while in the bath, where boys of various ages ran around naked without shame, slapping each others' asses and making penis jokes, and in the dressing rooms, where no one cared about standards of decency, or even in the practice area, where clothes were shed when the first signs of sweat started to appear.
Yes, Nino was sure that his sexual fantasies revolved around something else besides breasts.
But even though everyone was affectionate with everyone despite being an association of boys… the single mention of the topic, even as scientific as homosexual, left a rancid taste in the air. To mess around was okay, because they had hormones and there was no avoiding that, to kiss for fanservice and draw attention to yourself was encouraged, and of course if you were the touchy-feely type like Nino definitely was, you didn’t have a choice but to slip into your best friends arms for a snuggle round, and even though he was still sweaty from practice and smelled like garlic, it didn’t matter. (And maybe it even turned you on a little bit… But of course if you were Nino, who knew the rules, both said and unsaid, you would never tell Aiba-chan that.
I really like you. Okay.
You’re muscles are impressive, even though you’re only a junior high student. Okay.
I want you to push me down and put your dick inside of me because it would be awesome and hot. Not okay.)
Because people who were gay were people to make fun of. Sort of like really fat people. They were different from the rest of society and something to keep you amused, but definitely not something that you wanted to become, especially if you were part of Johnny’s Entertainment. Even imitating them was okay. But you absolutely could not be one.
He had been pulled aside and told that quite quickly. Before Arashi had debuted.
He had been told that it was noticeable and wrong and that he needed to do something about it.
So he did. It was the only thing he could do. Nino wasn’t going to let down his family and he wasn’t going to give up on this amazing opportunity he had in front of his eyes and even if that meant giving up a tiny part of himself, it was fine. Because he was forbidden from having “relationships” anyway, so what did it matter if it was with a woman or a man?
And then Satoshi came.
At first it was awkward, the generic sempai-kouhai relationship that any of them had within Johnny’s. But one day he couldn’t stop himself and took a grab at that perfectly round, cute ass. Of course Nino had become infamous by then for his clinging, but his groping of Ohno had been quite premature compared to his other targets.
Ohno had looked shocked for a second, then embarrassed, then shy, but then he had smiled just a little, and chuckled, and Nino felt his cheeks rush full of blood, and his mouth dried.
He did it again a few days later, and although the reaction was similar, by the third time Ohno had gone straight to the smiling part.
And it was a good ass after all. Two for the price of one.
Their relationship progress straightforwardly after that, true to the image the media portrayed of them being close both emotionally and physically, because it turned out that, under his quiet and shy exterior, Ohno was a touchy-feely too.
So Nino touched him.
He couldn’t help it.
Although there was enough love to go around with Jun and Sho and Aiba, Nino seemed to gravitate to Ohno on set year after year, increasingly so as time went by, and of course he was just as bad when they were off camera too.
One day, after a dance practice for an upcoming performance while they were in the shower together, just the two of them, he crawled into Ohno’s stall even though he knew he shouldn’t. Surprise flickered across Ohno’s eyes, but it wasn’t nearly as obvious as it had been before, and then he smirked, just barely. As if to say, oh, it’s just you, Kazu.
Nino washed his back and lathered up his own hair, and while he was watching Ohno rinse his face, mildly suggested, “How about we jerk each other off?”
The surprise came back and Ohno looked at him once, appraisingly, before turning back to the wall and remaining silent for a second. Which, obviously, made Nino kick himself for even asking.
But a soft, “Okay,” was his reply, and so they did.
He knew Ohno was probably thinking about breasts and the squeaky sounds a woman would make as he fucked her, but Nino (guiltily) focused on the simple movement of the fingers around him, thinking over and over, he’s touching me.
When it was finished, they never brought it up again, between them or anyone else, mostly because Ohno was quiet and Nino knew better. The last thing he needed was to be kicked out of the jimusho because he might possibly be gay, or more likely because he wasn’t being as cautious about it as he had been a few years ago.
And they did it again.
It wasn’t very often, just when the chance arose and it felt right, but Nino knew he was falling deeper and deeper in love with Ohno every day (he probably would have been anyway, even if their relationship was completely platonic) and he thought that, well, maybe Ohno might just feel the same as him. That he wanted this just as much and was being held back by expectations and society and insecurity.
Ohno let Nino touch him anywhere at any time. Their personalities had clicked together perfectly by this point, so they could talk for hours, or not talk for hours, and tease each other and Nino could play his DS while Ohno took a nap and they were comfortable.
And Nino was in love.
The beginning of the end started with a scandal.
Nino’s name displayed across the front page of a gossip magazine with a vaguely detailed sighting of him and a notorious man-eating actress, and his first thought was to go to Ohno and tell him it wasn’t true, that he had never even met this woman and to believe him, please, for the love of God believe him-- but he was called into The Office first.
It was fake. All of it.
He was informed that there were accusations arising that were too uncomfortable to answer to and so they had taken the initiative and fed a story to the periodical, which ate it up with a spoon, creating their own details without any prompting.
Nino left the short meeting stunned.
His manager had told him not to worry about it, that they were only thinking about his well being after all and that it would blow over in a few days, that the fans who wanted to would call it a lie, and the others would find the “bad boy” image appealing. But that wasn’t the part Nino was worried about.
Were these feeling, the part of him that wanted love and affection, albeit from a man, really that bad? Was he actually defective like everyone had told him “homosexuals” were?
“Nino? We need to talk,” Ohno had said quietly.
They were in the juniors’ hall, but Ohno asked him to go someplace more private.
Together they collected their personal things and caught a cab outside of the building, covered in hats and sunglasses and masks because they were sort of famous now and were required to take precautions when going out alone.
When they pulled up in front of a love hotel, Nino’s heart almost stopped.
Without saying anything, Ohno led him to the front desk and paid for two hours upfront despite the receptionist’s slight warning look, before gently dragging Nino to their room a few floors up.
Nino’s legs were shaking by the time he was directed to sit down on the neatly made bed.
Was Ohno going to kiss him? To make love to him like he dreamed of since the beginning?
He joined Nino and their knees were touching, but that was all. Ohno looked apprehensive.
After a swallow, he asked, “What is it, Leader?”
They looked at each other simultaneously, and Ohno set his hands firmly on Nino’s shoulders.
“I love you.”
Nino’s eyes widened.
“But… not how you think.”
His stomach came up into his throat to block the passage of air to his lungs and there was dead silence.
“I like it when you touch me. I like sleeping together and watching you act and holding you. I even like jerking off with you,” he explained slowly, and Nino couldn’t bring himself to push him away.
“But I can’t do anything more than that. I can’t be… what you want me to be. I’m sorry.”
Tears were forming in Nino’s eyes at the rejection-of his love and affection and that small part of him that needed to be hidden so that no one would find out that he was different. He had thought Ohno understood him, that they were the same… but maybe Ohno was just too nice. Maybe he had seen through him immediately and had taken pity on him.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated and pulled Nino close, cradling his thin body within his arms and Nino sobbed, unsure of what else to do. At least now he was glad for the privacy, not only because of his reaction, but also because of Ohno’s blatant address of the topic. He liked to think it was brought up because their bond was so strong and Ohno could feel the turmoil inside of him and wanted to fix it, not simply because he’d been approached by someone at the jimusho too.
Nino was a zombie for about a week after that.
The rest of the group probably assumed that it was because of the story that had run the magazine, which had brought various questions to all of them from friends and family. Even though it was obvious that none of them believed it, the real reason never surfaced as far as Nino knew, and so with a little care from Aiba (extra snuggling sessions before filming their variety shows), a motivational speech from Sho (you’ll just have to pick yourself up and know the fans will forgive you), and enough food to last him a month from Jun (who told him that he shouldn’t let it sit that long and just eat food properly like normal people did), Nino was on his way to mending his broken heart.
He didn’t jerk off with Ohno ever again. It even took some time until he was touching him like normal, grabbing his ass at will and holding his hand during photo shoots and everything else that made them Ohmiya SK. But everything was okay. Eventually.
Instead he turned to women.
Of course he still had to choose his partners carefully so that nothing was leaked in an actual scandal, but at least if it was, it wouldn’t potentially ruin his career on the spot.
But he didn’t like it. He didn’t like being the one to do the work, he didn’t like the way women smelled, and he didn’t like the overly delicate, chubby skin (even though he himself was quite delicate and maybe a little chubby around the middle).
And he was never satisfied either.
He could come three times in one night and not know that fulfillment that sex was supposed to bring. He only felt tired.
Yes, Nino didn’t like it, but he had an image to uphold now, for himself and more importantly, Arashi. They had created something amazing, the five of them, and with every day they became more and more famous, and Nino loved it, loved them. He loved acting and having concerts and being stupid with the best friends he ever had.
So he stuck with women and he was careful. Careful that he was never too drunk, careful that she wasn’t too masculine, careful that they didn’t do anal unless she asked for it first.
In secret, he bought a dildo and hid it so well that even if his apartment building burned down and they searched through the broken rubble for it, they would never find it.
Honestly, he didn’t like that much either. It was a lot of effort and he didn’t like the lack of interaction; in that sense, even a woman was better than his own hands. He wanted someone to touch him and tease him and whisper in his ear, but instead he managed his own sexual life quiet vigilantly and filled up on affection at work.
That had been his life for five full years now. A pretty pathetic one when viewed in context, but when Nino started doing that all he had to do was think about Aiba-chan, Sho-chan, Jun-pon, and Leader, and he was satisfied.
+++
“What?” he had asked, deadpan, when his manager had given him the paperwork for the movie.
“They’re considering you for the part. You’ve read the series, right?” he replied seriously, as if they had to land this no matter what it took, and Nino agreed.
“Is there someone alive who hasn’t?” he asked incredulously, staring at the page of bare information--a suggestion really--for the film. His heart was beating fast enough that he might have just finished a ten kilometer race.
“I haven’t, but that’s not important. They’re not asking for an audition or anything, but they want a statement from you and the company about your schedule, if you can dedicate the time, your personal feelings on the role, etc…”
Nino stared at the older man, stunned, and completely stopped in the middle of the hallway.
“Do we have the time? We have the time don’t we? To film this?” he asked worriedly.
“It’s… a long project. But the company is willing. This is going to be a worldwide thing, after all. It’s not a chance to pass up.”
Nino finally said, “I’ll start something right now,” and began walking towards the dressing room again, almost unconsciously.
“A few notes would be fine. I’ll write up the official one tonight.”
Nino smiled at him and said with a chuckle, “I’m counting on you.” He couldn’t wait to tell the others.
“We’ll get it. Don’t worry.”
And they did. A few months later, an agonizing wait, but bearable because of Arashi and his busy schedule, a new set of papers were handed to him by his manager along with a big smile. A casting list, short synopsis of the plot, and a tentative schedule of meetings and filming.
He carried those papers around like a bible until the first official gathering of the director, staff, and actors.
Sho had more than enough information to give him about his co-stars, at least the ones that Nino wasn’t familiar with already, and so he had prepared himself with his own internet research and watched several movies, including the series in which Matsuyama had starred as the genius detective, L. He had seen it before, he thought, but this time he was analyzing Matsuyama’s personality, his acting style, how he fit into his role and the easiest way to work with him.
At the time, he didn’t stand out from the other people Nino had worked with before. He was cute, yes, but Nino knew a lot of cute actors and saw many of them on a day to day basis. Besides, he’d learned a long time ago to keep his personal preferences out of his job, especially when it came to something as important as this.
But when he met him, initially at the briefing, and then again at their first drinking party, he could already tell something was going to change.
They had started at separate ends of the table, but somewhere through the course of the night, between people getting up for the bathroom and rearranging seats and sharing side dishes of food, they ended up next to each other.
And they didn’t talk for almost ten minutes. Nino was smiling at the conversation taking place on his left and nodding his head, turning somewhat to politely include Matsuyama now that he was there, but the man didn’t take to the conversation, instead staring at the table detachedly and rubbing the stubble on his chin unconsciously.
Finally Nino joined him in his silence and looked at his glass, although he was still watching him out of the corner of his eye, and then almost started when Matsuyama said in his grainy, somewhat sleepy voice, “Ninomiya-san.”
“Mm?” he blinked, looking over at him and raising his eyebrow.
“You like videogames, right?”
Nino smiled brightly and looked right into Matsuyama’s eyes and swore he saw a blush on the younger man’s cheeks. Well, they were drinking, so that was only to be expected.
“Yeah.”
Although Matsuyama was slow at replying, Nino was more than used to Ohno’s own detached and leisurely pace, and instead of becoming annoyed, he found himself calmed.
Through that conversation, which probably seemed awkward and tense to anyone watching them when it was actually matched Nino’s personal comforts exactly, he learned that Matsuyama played a considerable amount as well, and that they were both the same in the sense that they would rather stay at home and spend time in front of the TV instead of going out (like Aiba and Jun were always bugging him to).
They didn’t stray from that topic (Matsyama seemed to hold onto it like it was a lifeline) and eventually Nino couldn’t stop his cute laughter from spilling out. It was only when his head had dropped to other man’s shoulder that he realized that he had been leaning against Matsuyama’s arm in his usual display of drunken affection. It seemed the other man hadn’t noticed the action yet, and he also didn’t notice when Nino took a piece of chicken right off of his plate (it wasn’t that he wanted to eat it, even if he did anyway, he just wanted to see if there would be a reaction and what it would be). Although, at the end of the night, Nino wanted to ask for his number, he didn’t need the baggage of upsetting the other cast members for not exchanging with them, and there was no way he could get the man alone in the mist of all these other people.
So he let it go for that night because they were filming a movie together after all.
Although there were a few test runs and fittings for his Gantz Suit, Nino didn’t actually have filming with Matsuyama for…well, longer than he would have liked. It was the scene in the train station, the initial scene really, and Nino was filming for several hours without any of his costars (only hired people to stand in the background) and then Matsuyama was just suddenly there, watching him intently from somewhere behind the filming crew.
When the scene finished the director made a quick introduction and greeting for him, but Nino was sent on a break for lunch while they did a take that he wasn’t required for. He managed a slight wave and a quick word before Matsuyama was surrounded by movie crew, fixing his hair and clothes, and someone else explaining where he should position himself.
Since they actually were in a train station, he ate a bento in a corner that had been blocked off by some tarps in an attempt to give him some privacy, feeling like he had just stepped out of a dream (and it didn’t help that Matsuyama looked almost exactly like the Kato that he had pictured in his head).
Although Nino really felt like taking a nap, this wasn’t exactly the place for it, as it was a little chilly, not to mention he could hear all the sounds of the filming through the thin barrier, so instead he pulled out his DS and tried to relax that way.
He was surprised when, less than an hour later, Matsuyama joined him with his slightly crooked, shy grin.
“Hmm?” Nino asked, looking up from his console as soon as he noticed the other man. “My turn again?” The break scheduled was a little longer than that, he thought.
“We finished the cut and he sent everyone on break,” Matsuyama replied simply, sitting one seat down from Nino and looking at his lunch box, which was still more than halfway full. “You don’t eat much, do you?” he added under his breath.
In reply, Nino grinned cheekily, turning back to his puzzle game. “You can eat it if you want to.”
Matsuyama looked like he was actually debating his answer (while Nino made a valiant attempt to ignore him), then leaned forward to pick up the food, opening the box and using the same chopsticks that Nino had to start picking at the leftovers.
“Man, the level of care certainly is different,” he chuckled lightly a few minutes later, after he had finished most of the main course.
Nino glanced over at him with an amused expression. “What’s that supposed to mean? I bet it’s exactly what you got.”
There was a slight pause were Matsuyama appeared thoughtful, then replied, “Mine didn’t have this little green thing in the corner.”
And Nino laughed.
When his attention had finally turned back to his game, there was another few minutes of no conversation, the sound from the set quieting down to be replaced with the hum of several people talking at the same time, and Matsuyama carefully set the emptied box back on the small table, then turned to Nino expectantly.
He was ignored.
If he wanted attention he was going to have to work for it.
“What’re you playing?” he finally asked, with an edge of genuine curiosity. He leaned a little closer.
“My DS, idiot,” Nino replied teasingly, but tilted the machine just slightly so that the other man could see if he craned his head a little. So he did, and even went step further, moving into the seat directly next to Nino so their arms were touching.
Within seconds, they were both caught up in watching the screen, Matsuyama making almost incomprehensible comments under his breath, and they spent the rest of the break just like that, until a staff member came to collect them.
They were rather close together, so it was no surprise when Matsuyama arose with an awkward jolt at the presence of a new person, but before he could rush off after the other man, Nino unexpectedly grabbed his forearm, even if he hadn’t consciously meant to.
Matsuyama looked back at him with almost worried eyes, and Nino whispered, “We should exchange numbers.”
It seemed like he floundered for just a second, then patted all his pockets with his free hand (Nino immediately let go with a blush of embarrassment and stood up, trying to retrieve his cool air) before sending him an almost terrified look.
“It’s in my bag upstairs.”
Forcing a smile, Nino tried to pretend Matsuyama was making too big of a deal out of the whole thing, but instead of reprimanding him he simply said, “After filming is fine.”
+++
They sent each other emails via cell phone for the next two months straight.
Of course they had filming together, but there were other actors and actress there during the bulk of those instances, and after most days together, Nino’s tight schedule required him to head back to Tokyo in order to fulfill his other career obligations.
So in between bookings, while he was traveling, or before he’d go to bed at night, they discussed video games, Matsuyama’s family, Arashi (sometimes he’d get a message like I just saw you on tv), and basically anything that came to mind.
And then, when Nino somehow fell upon two days off, the Gantz filming on hold for some tweaks to the special effects, he invited Matsuyama over for a little gaming. Because of the break, he had also come to Tokyo for other work, and Nino didn’t let the opportunity escape.
Why was he so nervous? he asked himself as he double checked for dirty clothes around his small one bedroom apartment. First of all, he knew Matsuyama wouldn’t care. Second of all, this wasn’t going anywhere. They were friends. Like he was friends with Satoshi. Friends who had common interests and liked talking and that maybe Nino had a little crush on, but he had given up on achieving a satisfactory romantic relationship a while ago and he certainly wasn’t going to get his hopes up now.
In fact, maybe he should start to distance himself before he got in too deep.
Matsuyama looked like a whipped puppy as he waited for Nino to open the door for him. Somehow he was staring up at Nino through his eyelashes despite being more than ten centimeters taller than him, and his eyebrows were knitted together slightly.
He stepped in cautiously after Nino, who wasn’t sure what to think of the down mood.
“Ninomiya-san,” he said slowly, after he had taken off his shoes and followed his host to where he had set up anything and everything they might need near the TV.
Nino responded with a questioningly look.
“Uh… Well…I meant to bring something better, but… I only had time to go to the convenience store…” Matsuyama held up a plastic bag for Nino to take as well as a six pack of beer in his other hand.
Before he replied, he smiled first and accepted the presents. “You didn’t have to get anything. I have food here, contrary to popular belief.”
The response was a mumbled sparse counter of being polite when invited over to your sempai’s house, especially when it was one as amazing as Nino. But he was ignored again as Nino set the food on the low table in front of his TV and plopped on the floor behind it, leaning against the couch at his back and pulling the two premade bentos from the bag.
It was pretty obvious which one was for him.
“You like hamburgers, right?” Matsuyama asked, his voice drifting back to normal, sinking as if it was weighed with sleep, and he took up the space next to Nino, also leaning against the sofa.
“Mm,” Nino nodded, sliding the other one, which was generic convenience store food, over to his guest and then offering him a beer too.
While they were eating, Nino started a game and handed Matsuyama a controller, and they played with the distracted conversation of people that were too busy for it but didn’t want it to end either.
Although Nino ate all the hamburger part, he ended up sliding the remainder of his rice and potato salad across the table, his used chopstick still on top, and within a minute, without even mentioning it, Matsuyama started eating it, his own completely gone. He’d also had two beers, but just like the first night they had really talked, he wasn’t affected at all by the alcohol, or at least it seemed that way.
When midnight rolled around, Nino finally sighed and stood up, collecting their empty cans and other trash and taking it to the kitchen, as well as grabbing some of his own beer and a bag of chips to bring back.
They never got to them.
When he sat back down, his mind just barely buzzed, he leaned up against Matsuyama without thinking about it, dropping his head onto the wide shoulder and sighing with an unconscious smile.
He felt an arm slip around his back and a hand settle on his opposite hip, but Nino only snuggled deeper into the hold. It wasn’t until he was flat on his back, skillfully slid there by the other man, that he realized that it might be getting more serious that he had meant it to.
Matsuyama hovered over him, looking into Nino’s eyes with a daze in his own, then finally leaned down and kissed him just like that.
It was the first time that Nino had been kissed by a man, other than for fanservice and in that one movie (but he had technically done the kissing there, so he didn’t count it), and it was definitely nice. It felt… weird, because he had been adverse to it for so long, but somehow it was perfect too. Matsuyama’s lips were dry as hell, but the pressure was hard and demanding and Nino loved it.
He let out a small gasp when he felt Matsuyama’s tongue on his mouth and he willingly opened his it to deepen the kiss further. Already a rush of arousal had shot through his body by being pinned to the floor, and the way he was being unabashedly devoured made him completely hot. His hands raked across the cheeks slightly coarse with hair that had grown back since the last filming, and then tangled in Matsuyama’s dark locks to encourage him.
Without much down time, his pants were fumbled open and Nino arched into the touch, torn between trying to wake himself up and forgetting that he was supposed to be worrying about doing this. This had to be a dream, right? Even though he had egged Matsuyama on a bit, what were the chances that he felt the same about women as Nino did, and that he was willing enough to ignore all the problems that could arise with this? And dear God, how had he gotten so sexily aggressive?
Their kissing continued even as his bottoms were pushed down as far as they could go in this position (which wasn’t much) and a steady hand made its way past the elastic band of his boxers, holding them out of the way with his wrist as the palm wrapped around Nino’s completely hard cock. Although it wasn’t particularly smooth the way Matsuyama brushed his fingers up and down it quickly, that fact made it even more real for Nino and sent his heart into an erratic beat, much faster than it was already.
Although his pants were barely open enough for access, Nino wiggled his hips, trying to make the touch firmer, and with those movements they slipped down enough that he could ignore the constricting feeling and focus only on what was happening to him, the way that the touch was becoming harder in barely noticeable increments.
Nino didn’t even care about what Matsuyama thought about him right now either--that he should have been doing the proper thing by pushing him away and telling him what they were doing was wrong because they were both men and they could get in trouble and wasn’t it gross--because he was about to have his best orgasm yet, he could already feel it.
And then Matsuyama’s hand paused, although his tongue continued to work against Nino’s, and a second and some fumbling later, Nino could feel something else against his cock as well as Matsuyama’s hand.
He moaned into the other mouth, his body trembling all over as Matsuyama stroked them both together, reveling in the erotic feeling of another cock against his own. This was certainly not an experience he’d have with a woman, and that knowledge made a burst of warmth rush to his face.
No, this was his cute costar, an actor just like himself who had a strong fanbase of respectable people, who acted like a man and didn’t talk in a lisp, and was normal as least as far as the media and society was concerned, and he obviously wanted Nino.
He wanted Nino.
And Nino wanted him too.
Matsuyama’s heat was radiating into him from every surface of his body and it was all he could do to cling to him as his body tensed up, excitement and contentment and pleasure all mixed together spreading through every inch of him like strong alcohol. Unable to hold himself any longer, Nino’s face scrunched up as he moaned into the mouth covering his, all the muscles in his ass and stomach clenched as he came hard, head reeling with the sensations shooting through him.
“Hah… hah… hah…” he breathed out heavily, trying to catch his breath as he was finally released, staring up into the other man’s flushed face, which was still twisted in pleasure as he came down from his own orgasm.
Matsuyama swallowed once, then managed to focus on Nino’s stare and blinked a few times.
“How… was that?” he asked, also out of breath. “Was that okay, Ninomiya-san?” His voice was gentle and not at all apprehensive about the situation.
Nino mumbled, “It was amazing,” and then when he had a hold of himself, softly pushed Matsuyama off of him so that they could sit up again, since they didn’t have much room as they were.
Out of courtesy, Nino pulled his pants and underwear back up, and Matsuyama followed his actions himself, and then tentatively snuck his arm around his waist again, pulling Nino against him.
Lying against his chest, Nino closed his eyes, trying not to let too many thoughts overwhelm him at the same time.
He wanted this. More than anything else right now, he wanted this.
But if someone at Johnny’s found out, he could be faced with some nasty repercussions.
That one was easy to solve, though. Don’t let anyone find out. He seemed to be getting good at that.
The next problem was Matsuyama.
He really had no idea what to think of him. Why this had happened tonight, why Matsuyama had initiated it, if this was a test or a curiosity or if he was serious.
He certainly seemed serious, but this could ruin Nino’s career… both of their careers.
Answering that was a little harder.
Nino felt a little sweaty and there was cum from both of them all over his t-shirt, so he tentatively said, “I’m going to take a shower.”
He waited, but Matsuyama didn’t reply.
“Are you going to take one?” he finally asked, and the other man looked down at him sluggishly, then raised his hand to gently run his fingers through Nino’s bangs, pushing them back onto the top of his head.
“No, I don’t want to trouble you.”
Nino almost told him he didn’t care, but instead he shrugged, figuring that Matsuyama would learn that he shouldn’t be so polite with him, especially if their currently relationship continued to head in the direction it had started.
“Well, then. Make yourself at home,” Nino yawned, pushing himself off the ground and heading to his small bathroom.
He tossed his clothes into his basket , wrapping his shirt to make sure the semen didn’t get on anything else, and climbed into the shower, bypassing drawing a bath in order to save time.
Now that he was alone and could clear his head, he wanted to think.
First of all, he really liked that and really liked Matsuken.
Second of all, Matsuken was an actor just like himself with a reputation to protect, even if it wasn’t quite as prestigious as Nino’s own.
Third of all, Matsuken seemed to know a lot about him already, but somehow Nino felt like he couldn’t read the man as well as he could usually read others. Maybe it was because his expressions didn’t change as much as normal people? He was always smiling or looking sleepy when he wasn’t acting. Or maybe it was just because Nino’s own emotions were clouding his reading abilities.
Anyway, he sort of needed to make a decision right now. Whether he was going to give this a shot or tell Matsuyama that all of that right now was a mistake.
But deep down inside, Nino knew he was selfish. If there was a way to work out both having Matsuyama and leaving his job intact, he would rather go with that than giving up one or the other.
And even though his conscious tried to argue with that logic, it was obvious which one would win out in the end.
When he was clean a few minutes later, working quickly, Nino slipped into his bedroom to throw on some lounging clothes and then headed back into the living room while still drying his hair.
Matsuyama was spread out halfway on the couch, completely asleep.
There was a perfect space in the curve of his elbow where Nino knew he could fit, snuggling right up there and resting his head on his chest, but he restrained himself, not completely set in his decision yet. Instead he walked back into his bedroom and pulled one of two blankets from off of his bed and carefully set it on top of the other man, hoping he was comfortable enough like that.
But he didn’t stop himself from stealing a kiss so light that their lips barely touched, and when he turned the lights off and the heat up, he felt an excitement in the pit of his stomach that he hadn’t in a while.
What he was really looking forward to was the next step that he hoped was coming.
As usual on his day off, Nino didn’t wake up until mid afternoon.
Although he didn’t stay up that late last night, he usually was playing video games for so long that his time clock was thrown off a little, and so he was used to it by now (although sometimes Jun or Sho or Aiba, or even occasionally Oh-chan, would show up to make sure he was taking care of himself).
But, of course, Matsuyama was gone, the blanket tidily folded and left on the couch, and a message was already waiting on his cell phone.
Had to work! Sorry!
Last night was fun~
He wasn’t the kind of person to use emoticons, but after the last sentence there was a bobbing heart and Nino felt himself get flustered, then replied with a message saying he just woke up.
Most of the day was spent goofing off and relaxing, but Nino also spent a fair amount of time working out a game plan for his new relationship with Matsuyama.
+++
It was weird.
Even after that, they were the same as usual.
Not “awkward, something happened but I don’t want to talk about it so I’ll just pretend like nothing happened” same as usual, but more like, it had never happened. They were still messaging any second they could and about even super mundane things, and even on set, Nino couldn’t tell there was any difference in their current relationship.
This went on for more than a month, as Nino didn’t have the time or opportunity to bring it up privately (and he didn’t really want to either-what he wanted was to have Matsuyama push him down like he did before and have his way with him).
It become frustrating enough, though, that he started asking people very subliminally what was wrong, usually disguising Matsuyama as a woman or sometimes saying that he wanted to improve their synergy as co-stars, and finally when Sho shrugged and suggested, “You’ve just got to get inside his head,” he had an epiphany.
Seated in the back of a van, going to the studio to film with the rest of Arashi, Nino had twenty minutes to kill and so he took a deep breath and started going into a meditative state, a technique he used when developing his character for dramas and movies.
But this time it was much easier, as he had quite more to go off of than a written story or synopsis from the director.
Matsuyama: a hot young actor that landed an incredible role in a worldwide film with a sempai that he admired. He was nervous, but his sempai was kind and cute and he fell in love immediately (Nino just assumed those parts for the sake of moving to the end he wanted).
He was ecstatic because said sempai returned every message he sent to him via cell phone, even if it was boring or about himself or strange, and then, out of the blue, invited him over to his house.
To see his sempai’s house! What a treat!
And they would be alone, drinking alcohol!
It was obvious his sempai liked him back, but he was nervous and not completely sure of himself and it took a few beers to get enough courage to say how he felt…!
And then his sempai leaned against him and he lost control of his emotions, pushing him down, but sempai seemed aroused and kissed him back and crooned as he was touched and it was ecstasy.
But, once they were done, he thought maybe he had been too rash, that his sempai would be upset. But sempai didn’t seem to be that way, so maybe he liked it, but maybe not. They were still getting along well, messaging every day, but sempai never brought it up, so he didn’t either, and he wanted desperately for his sempai to love him, but what to do, what to do?
“Oh!” Nino let out suddenly, his eyes darting open as he realized the answer to his question.
Matsuyama was waiting for him to properly respond to the admission (if it could be called that). Nino had assumed that he knew the answer already, since he seemed to read him pretty easily, but Matsuyama also seemed like the type to be nervous without letting it show at all.
But, although Nino now knew that he should do something to respond, he also didn’t want to be the one to initiate something if he didn’t absolutely have to. Part of his desire was to be taken care of himself, to be the one receiving pleasure, and although he knew he’d have to reciprocate as some point, he didn’t want that to be now. Was it so much to ask to be pinned to a bed and fucked senseless?
So, it had come down to making a move without really making a move.
A week later, he was woken up on his day off by Jun noisily entering his apartment with the spare key he’d basically stolen from Nino (which he passed around to the other members when it was their turn to check on the gamer to make sure he didn’t die from starvation).
“Come on, Nino. Time to get up.”
“It’s only eleven,” he whined in return, squinting his eyes as Jun pushed open the curtains of the window near the door, bathing his bedroom in bright light.
“You mean it’s already eleven,” Jun corrected.
“No I don’t. Why do you continue to torture me this way?” Nino grumbled in a voice hoarse from sleep, then tried to pull the blankets over his head and return to his slumber.
But, of course, Jun pulled them away, even going as far as to lift Nino’s body up from off the bed and usher him towards the bathroom.
When he was finished and entered the kitchen a little while later, Nino glared at his friend once, then settled at the table to wait for the lunch he knew was coming. He liked it when Jun came over because he always brought nice homemade food for them to eat together-Sho always brought combini bentos, and Aiba and Ohno almost always forgot to bring anything at all. In fact, Nino could get Aiba to leave so he could get another hour of sleep by complaining he was hungry and sending him out, and Ohno was more likely to climb into bed with him than wake him up. Which was why it was usually Jun and Sho that came to check on him.
“How’re you feeling?” Jun asked promptly, sitting down next to Nino and handing him a plate of steaming pasta. It was a slightly smaller serving than Jun’s own, and Nino grinned, knowing the other half was in his fridge, waiting to be eaten later for dinner.
“Fine,” he replied, bringing the food to his mouth immediately and basically ignoring the question.
“When’s the last time you ate?” Jun asked with a frown, eating his own noodles as he critically looked Nino over.
“I ate yesterday, okay?”
“What time and how much?”
Nino made an annoyed sound and rolled his eyes.
“I won’t leave until you tell me,” Jun threatened, and Nino knew that the younger man would follow through on his promise, at least until he had to leave for whatever work was no doubt waiting for him.
“Fine. Lunch at shooting. Happy?”
“How much?”
“Half.”
Jun shot him a disappointed look, but he didn’t complain, almost as if it was too much to ask for any more than that.
And Nino wasn’t worried. He’d gone three days without eating before, so this was not even close to bad as far as he was concerned. Plus, he had Matsuyama to eat his leftovers, so he thought he might not ever completely finish anything ever again.
Speaking of which…
“Hey, Jun? Can I ask your advice?” Nino said, changing the subject from the interrogation to something he actually wanted to talk about.
“Sure.”
“Well, I want to get someone’s attention, but I’m not sure how to go about it…”
Jun glanced at him with a raised eyebrow, then tentatively asked, “Male or female?”
Nino inwardly cringed. He should have worded his question better, but it was early and he wasn’t thinking very quickly, so after a short internal debate, he decided to go with the truth. Any implications that arose would be ignored by Jun, or at least kept to himself.
“Male.”
Jun nodded, not making any comment on the answer, and looked thoughtful as he continued eating.
Nino rubbed his hand through his messy bed hair once, then began on his pasta again, knowing that Jun would give him a suggestion when he felt satisfied that it was worth sharing.
“Does he like video games?”
“Already sort of tried that. Not the results I wanted,” Nino explained, even though it was not even half true. Although it would be easy to invite him over again, he had a feeling that Matsuyama would avoid that situation until he felt comfortable with Nino’s response.
“I know you hate spending money, but you could buy him something. Like an expensive watch.”
Nino certainly did hate spending money, plus he wasn’t sure if an expensive gift would leave that much of an impression on Matsuyama.
“Something handmade,” Nino argued.
Jun sighed and looked up at the ceiling in thought.
“Well, you can make dinner for him or something.”
It sounded too romantic, but then again, maybe that’s what Nino should be going for? Did Jun suspect something?
“Hmm. I’ll keep thinking about it,” Nino suddenly ended the conversation, just in case it started going someplace he didn’t want it to. “Thanks for your help.”
Jun shot him another raised eyebrow, but dropped the subject.
And then he found out it was Matsuyama’s birthday next month.
Of course he hadn’t heard it from the man himself, but someone had mentioned it on set during filming and after confirming the date, Nino decided that it was his chance. Besides, he really liked celebrating birthdays (as long as it wasn’t his own), and it was even better when it was someone he liked.
He forced Jun to help him and knew that he was giving himself away, but Jun was the level headed thoughtful one, so even if he came to his own conclusions, he wasn’t exactly the type to share them with other people, unlike the rest of the members of Arashi. Plus, Nino had never made a cake by hand before and he certainly didn’t want to mess this up.
So, after making some plans, looking up recipes and talking about it with Matsujun more than necessary (but his friend humored him), he finally decided on chocolate (because Matsuyama seemed to eat a lot of it). It was a little complicated, but Nino wouldn’t settle for anything less, and Jun was helping him after all.
They had to prepare the ingredients before hand and Nino did most of the work closer to the set, but that was fine because the filming for Gantz wouldn’t start until after seven when it was dark, so he had plenty of time to get it taken care of before that, as well as a community center full of old women to help him.
He also bought the stupidest happy birthday hat he could find.
It was perfect.
They had been filming for several hours, freezing outside in their thin Gantz Suits, when the director finally called for an hour break and they started towards the vans along with most of the rest of the staff. Someone called out to Matsuyama, which was Nino’s cue to rush to the scene of the crime to make sure everything was how he wanted it to be, pulling out his bad hat and examining the cake that had been set out on a table in a way that made it immediately noticeable.
Everything was in place, the hat with tall birthday candles set straight on his head, so Nino excitedly took off towards Matsuyama who was still being distracted, but as soon as he came into view, he broke into a wide smile, looking from Nino’s face up to his hat.
“Ninomiya-san…What’s that?”
“Happy Birthday!” he replied sweetly, then grabbed his arm and led him back to the table.
Of course, Matsuyama’s eyes fell on the cake immediately, and Nino pushed him towards it, trying to hold back his own wide grin as he watched the other man’s.
Looking around at the staff surrounding them, Matsuyama started mumbling thank you over and over again, but the camera man, who was filming, said, “Ninomiya-san made it,” and suddenly Matsuyama turned to him, shocked.
Nino beamed. He had definitely gotten his point across.
“You made this cake?” he asked incredulously, looking back at the pastry for a second, then returning his gaze to Nino.
“The first and last time,” he replied pointedly, then motioned for everyone to start singing ‘Happy Birthday’.
The whole time Matsuyama looked quite embarrassed, but he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face, and happily took a big bite for the camera after he was handed a piece. He then proceeded to compliment the taste until Nino hit him over the back of the head and called him an idiot.
The cake was big enough for them all to have their own serving (there was really no avoiding that when Nino had chosen such a flashy presentation during filming), but he only ate a bite of his own, having already had enough of it during the baking process, and two other pieces ended up coming back with apologies from their intended eaters.
“It’s fine. Just throw it out,” Nino whispered to someone as they started to disperse for their actual break time, but Matsuyama heard and immediately stopped the directions.
“I’ll eat it.”
He picked up Nino’s first, having finished his own, and he was halfway done with it when someone handed over their long coats, and it was only then that Nino realized he was still freezing.
Matsuyama helped him shrug on the one meant for him first, as he usually did, before pulling on his own, then turned back to the cake, complimenting Nino once again.
“You’re gonna get fat,” Nino teased, leaning against him just slightly, even though he could barely feel the weight of Matsuyama through his fluffy coat.
“You think so?” he replied, but didn’t look at all concerned about the suggestion.
“You’ll get sick,” Nino added as Matsuyama sat the emptied plate on the table and reached for the next one.
“No I won’t. Ninomiya-san’s cooking is too amazing.”
“Oh please.” He tried to sound annoyed at the over abundance of compliments, but in reality he was feeling overwhelmed with the sense of satisfaction. He had been worried about his creation and what Matsuyama would think of it, so just the fact that he wouldn’t let it be thrown away or wasted made him warm and fuzzy under his Gantz Suit.
As promised, he finished all the cake so that not even one piece remained, even though Nino made quite an effort to stop him. By then their break was half over and the two of them climbed into the back of a van together, to warm up as much as they could before they were once again exposed to the cold air of the night for filming.
There was equipment taking up most of the space behind them and no one in the front seat at the moment, but Nino was still discreet as he suggested, “How about another all-nighter at my place?”
“Gaming?” Matsuyama clarified, although Nino couldn’t actually tell if he honestly thought that’s what they were going to do or not.
“Yeah,” he replied anyway, with a small smirk.
They didn’t continue any farther than that, just in case they were being overheard or watched or whatever (this was a very touchy topic after all), but Nino already knew what message he was going to write to him as soon as he had a moment with his phone. Even if Matsuyama was standing right next to him.
+++
A/N: If you couldn't tell, I'm totally in love with this pairing. The first time I saw them together promoting Gantz stuff I was like they are so cute and gay together. And they seem perfect for each other. ^__^
So, this is a little different than usual, at least my thought process. Of course fanfiction has a certain level of fiction to it, but I tried to make this as "real" as possible. I did a lot of research, although I also added my own ideas in the middle of the facts, with both the filming and being gay in Japan/etc. So if you want clarification on what's real and what's from my head, just leave a comment! I'd be delighted to discuss it.
As I'm sure you noticed, this is only part 1. There's going to be two parts, the next probably posted before next weekend (as after that I'm going to be busy =A= ) but I haven't completely finished it yet, so if anyone has any ideas they'd like to throw out, I'd love to hear them.
Comments and criticism are always welcome!
Part 2
Rating: R/NC17
Pairing: Matsuken/Nino, slightly Ohno/Nino
Disclaimer: I guess Johnny’s technically owns Arashi, huh? Not me.
Summary: Just when he had given up trying, Nino manages to find love.
Note: Not betaed. Also, I don't pretend to know much about being gay in Japan and/or Johnny's Entertainment. These are just my own personal observations which I used for my own end.
He had figured out that he didn’t like girls within his first week of working for Johnny’s. It became painfully clear while in the bath, where boys of various ages ran around naked without shame, slapping each others' asses and making penis jokes, and in the dressing rooms, where no one cared about standards of decency, or even in the practice area, where clothes were shed when the first signs of sweat started to appear.
Yes, Nino was sure that his sexual fantasies revolved around something else besides breasts.
But even though everyone was affectionate with everyone despite being an association of boys… the single mention of the topic, even as scientific as homosexual, left a rancid taste in the air. To mess around was okay, because they had hormones and there was no avoiding that, to kiss for fanservice and draw attention to yourself was encouraged, and of course if you were the touchy-feely type like Nino definitely was, you didn’t have a choice but to slip into your best friends arms for a snuggle round, and even though he was still sweaty from practice and smelled like garlic, it didn’t matter. (And maybe it even turned you on a little bit… But of course if you were Nino, who knew the rules, both said and unsaid, you would never tell Aiba-chan that.
I really like you. Okay.
You’re muscles are impressive, even though you’re only a junior high student. Okay.
I want you to push me down and put your dick inside of me because it would be awesome and hot. Not okay.)
Because people who were gay were people to make fun of. Sort of like really fat people. They were different from the rest of society and something to keep you amused, but definitely not something that you wanted to become, especially if you were part of Johnny’s Entertainment. Even imitating them was okay. But you absolutely could not be one.
He had been pulled aside and told that quite quickly. Before Arashi had debuted.
He had been told that it was noticeable and wrong and that he needed to do something about it.
So he did. It was the only thing he could do. Nino wasn’t going to let down his family and he wasn’t going to give up on this amazing opportunity he had in front of his eyes and even if that meant giving up a tiny part of himself, it was fine. Because he was forbidden from having “relationships” anyway, so what did it matter if it was with a woman or a man?
And then Satoshi came.
At first it was awkward, the generic sempai-kouhai relationship that any of them had within Johnny’s. But one day he couldn’t stop himself and took a grab at that perfectly round, cute ass. Of course Nino had become infamous by then for his clinging, but his groping of Ohno had been quite premature compared to his other targets.
Ohno had looked shocked for a second, then embarrassed, then shy, but then he had smiled just a little, and chuckled, and Nino felt his cheeks rush full of blood, and his mouth dried.
He did it again a few days later, and although the reaction was similar, by the third time Ohno had gone straight to the smiling part.
And it was a good ass after all. Two for the price of one.
Their relationship progress straightforwardly after that, true to the image the media portrayed of them being close both emotionally and physically, because it turned out that, under his quiet and shy exterior, Ohno was a touchy-feely too.
So Nino touched him.
He couldn’t help it.
Although there was enough love to go around with Jun and Sho and Aiba, Nino seemed to gravitate to Ohno on set year after year, increasingly so as time went by, and of course he was just as bad when they were off camera too.
One day, after a dance practice for an upcoming performance while they were in the shower together, just the two of them, he crawled into Ohno’s stall even though he knew he shouldn’t. Surprise flickered across Ohno’s eyes, but it wasn’t nearly as obvious as it had been before, and then he smirked, just barely. As if to say, oh, it’s just you, Kazu.
Nino washed his back and lathered up his own hair, and while he was watching Ohno rinse his face, mildly suggested, “How about we jerk each other off?”
The surprise came back and Ohno looked at him once, appraisingly, before turning back to the wall and remaining silent for a second. Which, obviously, made Nino kick himself for even asking.
But a soft, “Okay,” was his reply, and so they did.
He knew Ohno was probably thinking about breasts and the squeaky sounds a woman would make as he fucked her, but Nino (guiltily) focused on the simple movement of the fingers around him, thinking over and over, he’s touching me.
When it was finished, they never brought it up again, between them or anyone else, mostly because Ohno was quiet and Nino knew better. The last thing he needed was to be kicked out of the jimusho because he might possibly be gay, or more likely because he wasn’t being as cautious about it as he had been a few years ago.
And they did it again.
It wasn’t very often, just when the chance arose and it felt right, but Nino knew he was falling deeper and deeper in love with Ohno every day (he probably would have been anyway, even if their relationship was completely platonic) and he thought that, well, maybe Ohno might just feel the same as him. That he wanted this just as much and was being held back by expectations and society and insecurity.
Ohno let Nino touch him anywhere at any time. Their personalities had clicked together perfectly by this point, so they could talk for hours, or not talk for hours, and tease each other and Nino could play his DS while Ohno took a nap and they were comfortable.
And Nino was in love.
The beginning of the end started with a scandal.
Nino’s name displayed across the front page of a gossip magazine with a vaguely detailed sighting of him and a notorious man-eating actress, and his first thought was to go to Ohno and tell him it wasn’t true, that he had never even met this woman and to believe him, please, for the love of God believe him-- but he was called into The Office first.
It was fake. All of it.
He was informed that there were accusations arising that were too uncomfortable to answer to and so they had taken the initiative and fed a story to the periodical, which ate it up with a spoon, creating their own details without any prompting.
Nino left the short meeting stunned.
His manager had told him not to worry about it, that they were only thinking about his well being after all and that it would blow over in a few days, that the fans who wanted to would call it a lie, and the others would find the “bad boy” image appealing. But that wasn’t the part Nino was worried about.
Were these feeling, the part of him that wanted love and affection, albeit from a man, really that bad? Was he actually defective like everyone had told him “homosexuals” were?
“Nino? We need to talk,” Ohno had said quietly.
They were in the juniors’ hall, but Ohno asked him to go someplace more private.
Together they collected their personal things and caught a cab outside of the building, covered in hats and sunglasses and masks because they were sort of famous now and were required to take precautions when going out alone.
When they pulled up in front of a love hotel, Nino’s heart almost stopped.
Without saying anything, Ohno led him to the front desk and paid for two hours upfront despite the receptionist’s slight warning look, before gently dragging Nino to their room a few floors up.
Nino’s legs were shaking by the time he was directed to sit down on the neatly made bed.
Was Ohno going to kiss him? To make love to him like he dreamed of since the beginning?
He joined Nino and their knees were touching, but that was all. Ohno looked apprehensive.
After a swallow, he asked, “What is it, Leader?”
They looked at each other simultaneously, and Ohno set his hands firmly on Nino’s shoulders.
“I love you.”
Nino’s eyes widened.
“But… not how you think.”
His stomach came up into his throat to block the passage of air to his lungs and there was dead silence.
“I like it when you touch me. I like sleeping together and watching you act and holding you. I even like jerking off with you,” he explained slowly, and Nino couldn’t bring himself to push him away.
“But I can’t do anything more than that. I can’t be… what you want me to be. I’m sorry.”
Tears were forming in Nino’s eyes at the rejection-of his love and affection and that small part of him that needed to be hidden so that no one would find out that he was different. He had thought Ohno understood him, that they were the same… but maybe Ohno was just too nice. Maybe he had seen through him immediately and had taken pity on him.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated and pulled Nino close, cradling his thin body within his arms and Nino sobbed, unsure of what else to do. At least now he was glad for the privacy, not only because of his reaction, but also because of Ohno’s blatant address of the topic. He liked to think it was brought up because their bond was so strong and Ohno could feel the turmoil inside of him and wanted to fix it, not simply because he’d been approached by someone at the jimusho too.
Nino was a zombie for about a week after that.
The rest of the group probably assumed that it was because of the story that had run the magazine, which had brought various questions to all of them from friends and family. Even though it was obvious that none of them believed it, the real reason never surfaced as far as Nino knew, and so with a little care from Aiba (extra snuggling sessions before filming their variety shows), a motivational speech from Sho (you’ll just have to pick yourself up and know the fans will forgive you), and enough food to last him a month from Jun (who told him that he shouldn’t let it sit that long and just eat food properly like normal people did), Nino was on his way to mending his broken heart.
He didn’t jerk off with Ohno ever again. It even took some time until he was touching him like normal, grabbing his ass at will and holding his hand during photo shoots and everything else that made them Ohmiya SK. But everything was okay. Eventually.
Instead he turned to women.
Of course he still had to choose his partners carefully so that nothing was leaked in an actual scandal, but at least if it was, it wouldn’t potentially ruin his career on the spot.
But he didn’t like it. He didn’t like being the one to do the work, he didn’t like the way women smelled, and he didn’t like the overly delicate, chubby skin (even though he himself was quite delicate and maybe a little chubby around the middle).
And he was never satisfied either.
He could come three times in one night and not know that fulfillment that sex was supposed to bring. He only felt tired.
Yes, Nino didn’t like it, but he had an image to uphold now, for himself and more importantly, Arashi. They had created something amazing, the five of them, and with every day they became more and more famous, and Nino loved it, loved them. He loved acting and having concerts and being stupid with the best friends he ever had.
So he stuck with women and he was careful. Careful that he was never too drunk, careful that she wasn’t too masculine, careful that they didn’t do anal unless she asked for it first.
In secret, he bought a dildo and hid it so well that even if his apartment building burned down and they searched through the broken rubble for it, they would never find it.
Honestly, he didn’t like that much either. It was a lot of effort and he didn’t like the lack of interaction; in that sense, even a woman was better than his own hands. He wanted someone to touch him and tease him and whisper in his ear, but instead he managed his own sexual life quiet vigilantly and filled up on affection at work.
That had been his life for five full years now. A pretty pathetic one when viewed in context, but when Nino started doing that all he had to do was think about Aiba-chan, Sho-chan, Jun-pon, and Leader, and he was satisfied.
+++
“What?” he had asked, deadpan, when his manager had given him the paperwork for the movie.
“They’re considering you for the part. You’ve read the series, right?” he replied seriously, as if they had to land this no matter what it took, and Nino agreed.
“Is there someone alive who hasn’t?” he asked incredulously, staring at the page of bare information--a suggestion really--for the film. His heart was beating fast enough that he might have just finished a ten kilometer race.
“I haven’t, but that’s not important. They’re not asking for an audition or anything, but they want a statement from you and the company about your schedule, if you can dedicate the time, your personal feelings on the role, etc…”
Nino stared at the older man, stunned, and completely stopped in the middle of the hallway.
“Do we have the time? We have the time don’t we? To film this?” he asked worriedly.
“It’s… a long project. But the company is willing. This is going to be a worldwide thing, after all. It’s not a chance to pass up.”
Nino finally said, “I’ll start something right now,” and began walking towards the dressing room again, almost unconsciously.
“A few notes would be fine. I’ll write up the official one tonight.”
Nino smiled at him and said with a chuckle, “I’m counting on you.” He couldn’t wait to tell the others.
“We’ll get it. Don’t worry.”
And they did. A few months later, an agonizing wait, but bearable because of Arashi and his busy schedule, a new set of papers were handed to him by his manager along with a big smile. A casting list, short synopsis of the plot, and a tentative schedule of meetings and filming.
He carried those papers around like a bible until the first official gathering of the director, staff, and actors.
Sho had more than enough information to give him about his co-stars, at least the ones that Nino wasn’t familiar with already, and so he had prepared himself with his own internet research and watched several movies, including the series in which Matsuyama had starred as the genius detective, L. He had seen it before, he thought, but this time he was analyzing Matsuyama’s personality, his acting style, how he fit into his role and the easiest way to work with him.
At the time, he didn’t stand out from the other people Nino had worked with before. He was cute, yes, but Nino knew a lot of cute actors and saw many of them on a day to day basis. Besides, he’d learned a long time ago to keep his personal preferences out of his job, especially when it came to something as important as this.
But when he met him, initially at the briefing, and then again at their first drinking party, he could already tell something was going to change.
They had started at separate ends of the table, but somewhere through the course of the night, between people getting up for the bathroom and rearranging seats and sharing side dishes of food, they ended up next to each other.
And they didn’t talk for almost ten minutes. Nino was smiling at the conversation taking place on his left and nodding his head, turning somewhat to politely include Matsuyama now that he was there, but the man didn’t take to the conversation, instead staring at the table detachedly and rubbing the stubble on his chin unconsciously.
Finally Nino joined him in his silence and looked at his glass, although he was still watching him out of the corner of his eye, and then almost started when Matsuyama said in his grainy, somewhat sleepy voice, “Ninomiya-san.”
“Mm?” he blinked, looking over at him and raising his eyebrow.
“You like videogames, right?”
Nino smiled brightly and looked right into Matsuyama’s eyes and swore he saw a blush on the younger man’s cheeks. Well, they were drinking, so that was only to be expected.
“Yeah.”
Although Matsuyama was slow at replying, Nino was more than used to Ohno’s own detached and leisurely pace, and instead of becoming annoyed, he found himself calmed.
Through that conversation, which probably seemed awkward and tense to anyone watching them when it was actually matched Nino’s personal comforts exactly, he learned that Matsuyama played a considerable amount as well, and that they were both the same in the sense that they would rather stay at home and spend time in front of the TV instead of going out (like Aiba and Jun were always bugging him to).
They didn’t stray from that topic (Matsyama seemed to hold onto it like it was a lifeline) and eventually Nino couldn’t stop his cute laughter from spilling out. It was only when his head had dropped to other man’s shoulder that he realized that he had been leaning against Matsuyama’s arm in his usual display of drunken affection. It seemed the other man hadn’t noticed the action yet, and he also didn’t notice when Nino took a piece of chicken right off of his plate (it wasn’t that he wanted to eat it, even if he did anyway, he just wanted to see if there would be a reaction and what it would be). Although, at the end of the night, Nino wanted to ask for his number, he didn’t need the baggage of upsetting the other cast members for not exchanging with them, and there was no way he could get the man alone in the mist of all these other people.
So he let it go for that night because they were filming a movie together after all.
Although there were a few test runs and fittings for his Gantz Suit, Nino didn’t actually have filming with Matsuyama for…well, longer than he would have liked. It was the scene in the train station, the initial scene really, and Nino was filming for several hours without any of his costars (only hired people to stand in the background) and then Matsuyama was just suddenly there, watching him intently from somewhere behind the filming crew.
When the scene finished the director made a quick introduction and greeting for him, but Nino was sent on a break for lunch while they did a take that he wasn’t required for. He managed a slight wave and a quick word before Matsuyama was surrounded by movie crew, fixing his hair and clothes, and someone else explaining where he should position himself.
Since they actually were in a train station, he ate a bento in a corner that had been blocked off by some tarps in an attempt to give him some privacy, feeling like he had just stepped out of a dream (and it didn’t help that Matsuyama looked almost exactly like the Kato that he had pictured in his head).
Although Nino really felt like taking a nap, this wasn’t exactly the place for it, as it was a little chilly, not to mention he could hear all the sounds of the filming through the thin barrier, so instead he pulled out his DS and tried to relax that way.
He was surprised when, less than an hour later, Matsuyama joined him with his slightly crooked, shy grin.
“Hmm?” Nino asked, looking up from his console as soon as he noticed the other man. “My turn again?” The break scheduled was a little longer than that, he thought.
“We finished the cut and he sent everyone on break,” Matsuyama replied simply, sitting one seat down from Nino and looking at his lunch box, which was still more than halfway full. “You don’t eat much, do you?” he added under his breath.
In reply, Nino grinned cheekily, turning back to his puzzle game. “You can eat it if you want to.”
Matsuyama looked like he was actually debating his answer (while Nino made a valiant attempt to ignore him), then leaned forward to pick up the food, opening the box and using the same chopsticks that Nino had to start picking at the leftovers.
“Man, the level of care certainly is different,” he chuckled lightly a few minutes later, after he had finished most of the main course.
Nino glanced over at him with an amused expression. “What’s that supposed to mean? I bet it’s exactly what you got.”
There was a slight pause were Matsuyama appeared thoughtful, then replied, “Mine didn’t have this little green thing in the corner.”
And Nino laughed.
When his attention had finally turned back to his game, there was another few minutes of no conversation, the sound from the set quieting down to be replaced with the hum of several people talking at the same time, and Matsuyama carefully set the emptied box back on the small table, then turned to Nino expectantly.
He was ignored.
If he wanted attention he was going to have to work for it.
“What’re you playing?” he finally asked, with an edge of genuine curiosity. He leaned a little closer.
“My DS, idiot,” Nino replied teasingly, but tilted the machine just slightly so that the other man could see if he craned his head a little. So he did, and even went step further, moving into the seat directly next to Nino so their arms were touching.
Within seconds, they were both caught up in watching the screen, Matsuyama making almost incomprehensible comments under his breath, and they spent the rest of the break just like that, until a staff member came to collect them.
They were rather close together, so it was no surprise when Matsuyama arose with an awkward jolt at the presence of a new person, but before he could rush off after the other man, Nino unexpectedly grabbed his forearm, even if he hadn’t consciously meant to.
Matsuyama looked back at him with almost worried eyes, and Nino whispered, “We should exchange numbers.”
It seemed like he floundered for just a second, then patted all his pockets with his free hand (Nino immediately let go with a blush of embarrassment and stood up, trying to retrieve his cool air) before sending him an almost terrified look.
“It’s in my bag upstairs.”
Forcing a smile, Nino tried to pretend Matsuyama was making too big of a deal out of the whole thing, but instead of reprimanding him he simply said, “After filming is fine.”
+++
They sent each other emails via cell phone for the next two months straight.
Of course they had filming together, but there were other actors and actress there during the bulk of those instances, and after most days together, Nino’s tight schedule required him to head back to Tokyo in order to fulfill his other career obligations.
So in between bookings, while he was traveling, or before he’d go to bed at night, they discussed video games, Matsuyama’s family, Arashi (sometimes he’d get a message like I just saw you on tv), and basically anything that came to mind.
And then, when Nino somehow fell upon two days off, the Gantz filming on hold for some tweaks to the special effects, he invited Matsuyama over for a little gaming. Because of the break, he had also come to Tokyo for other work, and Nino didn’t let the opportunity escape.
Why was he so nervous? he asked himself as he double checked for dirty clothes around his small one bedroom apartment. First of all, he knew Matsuyama wouldn’t care. Second of all, this wasn’t going anywhere. They were friends. Like he was friends with Satoshi. Friends who had common interests and liked talking and that maybe Nino had a little crush on, but he had given up on achieving a satisfactory romantic relationship a while ago and he certainly wasn’t going to get his hopes up now.
In fact, maybe he should start to distance himself before he got in too deep.
Matsuyama looked like a whipped puppy as he waited for Nino to open the door for him. Somehow he was staring up at Nino through his eyelashes despite being more than ten centimeters taller than him, and his eyebrows were knitted together slightly.
He stepped in cautiously after Nino, who wasn’t sure what to think of the down mood.
“Ninomiya-san,” he said slowly, after he had taken off his shoes and followed his host to where he had set up anything and everything they might need near the TV.
Nino responded with a questioningly look.
“Uh… Well…I meant to bring something better, but… I only had time to go to the convenience store…” Matsuyama held up a plastic bag for Nino to take as well as a six pack of beer in his other hand.
Before he replied, he smiled first and accepted the presents. “You didn’t have to get anything. I have food here, contrary to popular belief.”
The response was a mumbled sparse counter of being polite when invited over to your sempai’s house, especially when it was one as amazing as Nino. But he was ignored again as Nino set the food on the low table in front of his TV and plopped on the floor behind it, leaning against the couch at his back and pulling the two premade bentos from the bag.
It was pretty obvious which one was for him.
“You like hamburgers, right?” Matsuyama asked, his voice drifting back to normal, sinking as if it was weighed with sleep, and he took up the space next to Nino, also leaning against the sofa.
“Mm,” Nino nodded, sliding the other one, which was generic convenience store food, over to his guest and then offering him a beer too.
While they were eating, Nino started a game and handed Matsuyama a controller, and they played with the distracted conversation of people that were too busy for it but didn’t want it to end either.
Although Nino ate all the hamburger part, he ended up sliding the remainder of his rice and potato salad across the table, his used chopstick still on top, and within a minute, without even mentioning it, Matsuyama started eating it, his own completely gone. He’d also had two beers, but just like the first night they had really talked, he wasn’t affected at all by the alcohol, or at least it seemed that way.
When midnight rolled around, Nino finally sighed and stood up, collecting their empty cans and other trash and taking it to the kitchen, as well as grabbing some of his own beer and a bag of chips to bring back.
They never got to them.
When he sat back down, his mind just barely buzzed, he leaned up against Matsuyama without thinking about it, dropping his head onto the wide shoulder and sighing with an unconscious smile.
He felt an arm slip around his back and a hand settle on his opposite hip, but Nino only snuggled deeper into the hold. It wasn’t until he was flat on his back, skillfully slid there by the other man, that he realized that it might be getting more serious that he had meant it to.
Matsuyama hovered over him, looking into Nino’s eyes with a daze in his own, then finally leaned down and kissed him just like that.
It was the first time that Nino had been kissed by a man, other than for fanservice and in that one movie (but he had technically done the kissing there, so he didn’t count it), and it was definitely nice. It felt… weird, because he had been adverse to it for so long, but somehow it was perfect too. Matsuyama’s lips were dry as hell, but the pressure was hard and demanding and Nino loved it.
He let out a small gasp when he felt Matsuyama’s tongue on his mouth and he willingly opened his it to deepen the kiss further. Already a rush of arousal had shot through his body by being pinned to the floor, and the way he was being unabashedly devoured made him completely hot. His hands raked across the cheeks slightly coarse with hair that had grown back since the last filming, and then tangled in Matsuyama’s dark locks to encourage him.
Without much down time, his pants were fumbled open and Nino arched into the touch, torn between trying to wake himself up and forgetting that he was supposed to be worrying about doing this. This had to be a dream, right? Even though he had egged Matsuyama on a bit, what were the chances that he felt the same about women as Nino did, and that he was willing enough to ignore all the problems that could arise with this? And dear God, how had he gotten so sexily aggressive?
Their kissing continued even as his bottoms were pushed down as far as they could go in this position (which wasn’t much) and a steady hand made its way past the elastic band of his boxers, holding them out of the way with his wrist as the palm wrapped around Nino’s completely hard cock. Although it wasn’t particularly smooth the way Matsuyama brushed his fingers up and down it quickly, that fact made it even more real for Nino and sent his heart into an erratic beat, much faster than it was already.
Although his pants were barely open enough for access, Nino wiggled his hips, trying to make the touch firmer, and with those movements they slipped down enough that he could ignore the constricting feeling and focus only on what was happening to him, the way that the touch was becoming harder in barely noticeable increments.
Nino didn’t even care about what Matsuyama thought about him right now either--that he should have been doing the proper thing by pushing him away and telling him what they were doing was wrong because they were both men and they could get in trouble and wasn’t it gross--because he was about to have his best orgasm yet, he could already feel it.
And then Matsuyama’s hand paused, although his tongue continued to work against Nino’s, and a second and some fumbling later, Nino could feel something else against his cock as well as Matsuyama’s hand.
He moaned into the other mouth, his body trembling all over as Matsuyama stroked them both together, reveling in the erotic feeling of another cock against his own. This was certainly not an experience he’d have with a woman, and that knowledge made a burst of warmth rush to his face.
No, this was his cute costar, an actor just like himself who had a strong fanbase of respectable people, who acted like a man and didn’t talk in a lisp, and was normal as least as far as the media and society was concerned, and he obviously wanted Nino.
He wanted Nino.
And Nino wanted him too.
Matsuyama’s heat was radiating into him from every surface of his body and it was all he could do to cling to him as his body tensed up, excitement and contentment and pleasure all mixed together spreading through every inch of him like strong alcohol. Unable to hold himself any longer, Nino’s face scrunched up as he moaned into the mouth covering his, all the muscles in his ass and stomach clenched as he came hard, head reeling with the sensations shooting through him.
“Hah… hah… hah…” he breathed out heavily, trying to catch his breath as he was finally released, staring up into the other man’s flushed face, which was still twisted in pleasure as he came down from his own orgasm.
Matsuyama swallowed once, then managed to focus on Nino’s stare and blinked a few times.
“How… was that?” he asked, also out of breath. “Was that okay, Ninomiya-san?” His voice was gentle and not at all apprehensive about the situation.
Nino mumbled, “It was amazing,” and then when he had a hold of himself, softly pushed Matsuyama off of him so that they could sit up again, since they didn’t have much room as they were.
Out of courtesy, Nino pulled his pants and underwear back up, and Matsuyama followed his actions himself, and then tentatively snuck his arm around his waist again, pulling Nino against him.
Lying against his chest, Nino closed his eyes, trying not to let too many thoughts overwhelm him at the same time.
He wanted this. More than anything else right now, he wanted this.
But if someone at Johnny’s found out, he could be faced with some nasty repercussions.
That one was easy to solve, though. Don’t let anyone find out. He seemed to be getting good at that.
The next problem was Matsuyama.
He really had no idea what to think of him. Why this had happened tonight, why Matsuyama had initiated it, if this was a test or a curiosity or if he was serious.
He certainly seemed serious, but this could ruin Nino’s career… both of their careers.
Answering that was a little harder.
Nino felt a little sweaty and there was cum from both of them all over his t-shirt, so he tentatively said, “I’m going to take a shower.”
He waited, but Matsuyama didn’t reply.
“Are you going to take one?” he finally asked, and the other man looked down at him sluggishly, then raised his hand to gently run his fingers through Nino’s bangs, pushing them back onto the top of his head.
“No, I don’t want to trouble you.”
Nino almost told him he didn’t care, but instead he shrugged, figuring that Matsuyama would learn that he shouldn’t be so polite with him, especially if their currently relationship continued to head in the direction it had started.
“Well, then. Make yourself at home,” Nino yawned, pushing himself off the ground and heading to his small bathroom.
He tossed his clothes into his basket , wrapping his shirt to make sure the semen didn’t get on anything else, and climbed into the shower, bypassing drawing a bath in order to save time.
Now that he was alone and could clear his head, he wanted to think.
First of all, he really liked that and really liked Matsuken.
Second of all, Matsuken was an actor just like himself with a reputation to protect, even if it wasn’t quite as prestigious as Nino’s own.
Third of all, Matsuken seemed to know a lot about him already, but somehow Nino felt like he couldn’t read the man as well as he could usually read others. Maybe it was because his expressions didn’t change as much as normal people? He was always smiling or looking sleepy when he wasn’t acting. Or maybe it was just because Nino’s own emotions were clouding his reading abilities.
Anyway, he sort of needed to make a decision right now. Whether he was going to give this a shot or tell Matsuyama that all of that right now was a mistake.
But deep down inside, Nino knew he was selfish. If there was a way to work out both having Matsuyama and leaving his job intact, he would rather go with that than giving up one or the other.
And even though his conscious tried to argue with that logic, it was obvious which one would win out in the end.
When he was clean a few minutes later, working quickly, Nino slipped into his bedroom to throw on some lounging clothes and then headed back into the living room while still drying his hair.
Matsuyama was spread out halfway on the couch, completely asleep.
There was a perfect space in the curve of his elbow where Nino knew he could fit, snuggling right up there and resting his head on his chest, but he restrained himself, not completely set in his decision yet. Instead he walked back into his bedroom and pulled one of two blankets from off of his bed and carefully set it on top of the other man, hoping he was comfortable enough like that.
But he didn’t stop himself from stealing a kiss so light that their lips barely touched, and when he turned the lights off and the heat up, he felt an excitement in the pit of his stomach that he hadn’t in a while.
What he was really looking forward to was the next step that he hoped was coming.
As usual on his day off, Nino didn’t wake up until mid afternoon.
Although he didn’t stay up that late last night, he usually was playing video games for so long that his time clock was thrown off a little, and so he was used to it by now (although sometimes Jun or Sho or Aiba, or even occasionally Oh-chan, would show up to make sure he was taking care of himself).
But, of course, Matsuyama was gone, the blanket tidily folded and left on the couch, and a message was already waiting on his cell phone.
Had to work! Sorry!
Last night was fun~
He wasn’t the kind of person to use emoticons, but after the last sentence there was a bobbing heart and Nino felt himself get flustered, then replied with a message saying he just woke up.
Most of the day was spent goofing off and relaxing, but Nino also spent a fair amount of time working out a game plan for his new relationship with Matsuyama.
+++
It was weird.
Even after that, they were the same as usual.
Not “awkward, something happened but I don’t want to talk about it so I’ll just pretend like nothing happened” same as usual, but more like, it had never happened. They were still messaging any second they could and about even super mundane things, and even on set, Nino couldn’t tell there was any difference in their current relationship.
This went on for more than a month, as Nino didn’t have the time or opportunity to bring it up privately (and he didn’t really want to either-what he wanted was to have Matsuyama push him down like he did before and have his way with him).
It become frustrating enough, though, that he started asking people very subliminally what was wrong, usually disguising Matsuyama as a woman or sometimes saying that he wanted to improve their synergy as co-stars, and finally when Sho shrugged and suggested, “You’ve just got to get inside his head,” he had an epiphany.
Seated in the back of a van, going to the studio to film with the rest of Arashi, Nino had twenty minutes to kill and so he took a deep breath and started going into a meditative state, a technique he used when developing his character for dramas and movies.
But this time it was much easier, as he had quite more to go off of than a written story or synopsis from the director.
Matsuyama: a hot young actor that landed an incredible role in a worldwide film with a sempai that he admired. He was nervous, but his sempai was kind and cute and he fell in love immediately (Nino just assumed those parts for the sake of moving to the end he wanted).
He was ecstatic because said sempai returned every message he sent to him via cell phone, even if it was boring or about himself or strange, and then, out of the blue, invited him over to his house.
To see his sempai’s house! What a treat!
And they would be alone, drinking alcohol!
It was obvious his sempai liked him back, but he was nervous and not completely sure of himself and it took a few beers to get enough courage to say how he felt…!
And then his sempai leaned against him and he lost control of his emotions, pushing him down, but sempai seemed aroused and kissed him back and crooned as he was touched and it was ecstasy.
But, once they were done, he thought maybe he had been too rash, that his sempai would be upset. But sempai didn’t seem to be that way, so maybe he liked it, but maybe not. They were still getting along well, messaging every day, but sempai never brought it up, so he didn’t either, and he wanted desperately for his sempai to love him, but what to do, what to do?
“Oh!” Nino let out suddenly, his eyes darting open as he realized the answer to his question.
Matsuyama was waiting for him to properly respond to the admission (if it could be called that). Nino had assumed that he knew the answer already, since he seemed to read him pretty easily, but Matsuyama also seemed like the type to be nervous without letting it show at all.
But, although Nino now knew that he should do something to respond, he also didn’t want to be the one to initiate something if he didn’t absolutely have to. Part of his desire was to be taken care of himself, to be the one receiving pleasure, and although he knew he’d have to reciprocate as some point, he didn’t want that to be now. Was it so much to ask to be pinned to a bed and fucked senseless?
So, it had come down to making a move without really making a move.
A week later, he was woken up on his day off by Jun noisily entering his apartment with the spare key he’d basically stolen from Nino (which he passed around to the other members when it was their turn to check on the gamer to make sure he didn’t die from starvation).
“Come on, Nino. Time to get up.”
“It’s only eleven,” he whined in return, squinting his eyes as Jun pushed open the curtains of the window near the door, bathing his bedroom in bright light.
“You mean it’s already eleven,” Jun corrected.
“No I don’t. Why do you continue to torture me this way?” Nino grumbled in a voice hoarse from sleep, then tried to pull the blankets over his head and return to his slumber.
But, of course, Jun pulled them away, even going as far as to lift Nino’s body up from off the bed and usher him towards the bathroom.
When he was finished and entered the kitchen a little while later, Nino glared at his friend once, then settled at the table to wait for the lunch he knew was coming. He liked it when Jun came over because he always brought nice homemade food for them to eat together-Sho always brought combini bentos, and Aiba and Ohno almost always forgot to bring anything at all. In fact, Nino could get Aiba to leave so he could get another hour of sleep by complaining he was hungry and sending him out, and Ohno was more likely to climb into bed with him than wake him up. Which was why it was usually Jun and Sho that came to check on him.
“How’re you feeling?” Jun asked promptly, sitting down next to Nino and handing him a plate of steaming pasta. It was a slightly smaller serving than Jun’s own, and Nino grinned, knowing the other half was in his fridge, waiting to be eaten later for dinner.
“Fine,” he replied, bringing the food to his mouth immediately and basically ignoring the question.
“When’s the last time you ate?” Jun asked with a frown, eating his own noodles as he critically looked Nino over.
“I ate yesterday, okay?”
“What time and how much?”
Nino made an annoyed sound and rolled his eyes.
“I won’t leave until you tell me,” Jun threatened, and Nino knew that the younger man would follow through on his promise, at least until he had to leave for whatever work was no doubt waiting for him.
“Fine. Lunch at shooting. Happy?”
“How much?”
“Half.”
Jun shot him a disappointed look, but he didn’t complain, almost as if it was too much to ask for any more than that.
And Nino wasn’t worried. He’d gone three days without eating before, so this was not even close to bad as far as he was concerned. Plus, he had Matsuyama to eat his leftovers, so he thought he might not ever completely finish anything ever again.
Speaking of which…
“Hey, Jun? Can I ask your advice?” Nino said, changing the subject from the interrogation to something he actually wanted to talk about.
“Sure.”
“Well, I want to get someone’s attention, but I’m not sure how to go about it…”
Jun glanced at him with a raised eyebrow, then tentatively asked, “Male or female?”
Nino inwardly cringed. He should have worded his question better, but it was early and he wasn’t thinking very quickly, so after a short internal debate, he decided to go with the truth. Any implications that arose would be ignored by Jun, or at least kept to himself.
“Male.”
Jun nodded, not making any comment on the answer, and looked thoughtful as he continued eating.
Nino rubbed his hand through his messy bed hair once, then began on his pasta again, knowing that Jun would give him a suggestion when he felt satisfied that it was worth sharing.
“Does he like video games?”
“Already sort of tried that. Not the results I wanted,” Nino explained, even though it was not even half true. Although it would be easy to invite him over again, he had a feeling that Matsuyama would avoid that situation until he felt comfortable with Nino’s response.
“I know you hate spending money, but you could buy him something. Like an expensive watch.”
Nino certainly did hate spending money, plus he wasn’t sure if an expensive gift would leave that much of an impression on Matsuyama.
“Something handmade,” Nino argued.
Jun sighed and looked up at the ceiling in thought.
“Well, you can make dinner for him or something.”
It sounded too romantic, but then again, maybe that’s what Nino should be going for? Did Jun suspect something?
“Hmm. I’ll keep thinking about it,” Nino suddenly ended the conversation, just in case it started going someplace he didn’t want it to. “Thanks for your help.”
Jun shot him another raised eyebrow, but dropped the subject.
And then he found out it was Matsuyama’s birthday next month.
Of course he hadn’t heard it from the man himself, but someone had mentioned it on set during filming and after confirming the date, Nino decided that it was his chance. Besides, he really liked celebrating birthdays (as long as it wasn’t his own), and it was even better when it was someone he liked.
He forced Jun to help him and knew that he was giving himself away, but Jun was the level headed thoughtful one, so even if he came to his own conclusions, he wasn’t exactly the type to share them with other people, unlike the rest of the members of Arashi. Plus, Nino had never made a cake by hand before and he certainly didn’t want to mess this up.
So, after making some plans, looking up recipes and talking about it with Matsujun more than necessary (but his friend humored him), he finally decided on chocolate (because Matsuyama seemed to eat a lot of it). It was a little complicated, but Nino wouldn’t settle for anything less, and Jun was helping him after all.
They had to prepare the ingredients before hand and Nino did most of the work closer to the set, but that was fine because the filming for Gantz wouldn’t start until after seven when it was dark, so he had plenty of time to get it taken care of before that, as well as a community center full of old women to help him.
He also bought the stupidest happy birthday hat he could find.
It was perfect.
They had been filming for several hours, freezing outside in their thin Gantz Suits, when the director finally called for an hour break and they started towards the vans along with most of the rest of the staff. Someone called out to Matsuyama, which was Nino’s cue to rush to the scene of the crime to make sure everything was how he wanted it to be, pulling out his bad hat and examining the cake that had been set out on a table in a way that made it immediately noticeable.
Everything was in place, the hat with tall birthday candles set straight on his head, so Nino excitedly took off towards Matsuyama who was still being distracted, but as soon as he came into view, he broke into a wide smile, looking from Nino’s face up to his hat.
“Ninomiya-san…What’s that?”
“Happy Birthday!” he replied sweetly, then grabbed his arm and led him back to the table.
Of course, Matsuyama’s eyes fell on the cake immediately, and Nino pushed him towards it, trying to hold back his own wide grin as he watched the other man’s.
Looking around at the staff surrounding them, Matsuyama started mumbling thank you over and over again, but the camera man, who was filming, said, “Ninomiya-san made it,” and suddenly Matsuyama turned to him, shocked.
Nino beamed. He had definitely gotten his point across.
“You made this cake?” he asked incredulously, looking back at the pastry for a second, then returning his gaze to Nino.
“The first and last time,” he replied pointedly, then motioned for everyone to start singing ‘Happy Birthday’.
The whole time Matsuyama looked quite embarrassed, but he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face, and happily took a big bite for the camera after he was handed a piece. He then proceeded to compliment the taste until Nino hit him over the back of the head and called him an idiot.
The cake was big enough for them all to have their own serving (there was really no avoiding that when Nino had chosen such a flashy presentation during filming), but he only ate a bite of his own, having already had enough of it during the baking process, and two other pieces ended up coming back with apologies from their intended eaters.
“It’s fine. Just throw it out,” Nino whispered to someone as they started to disperse for their actual break time, but Matsuyama heard and immediately stopped the directions.
“I’ll eat it.”
He picked up Nino’s first, having finished his own, and he was halfway done with it when someone handed over their long coats, and it was only then that Nino realized he was still freezing.
Matsuyama helped him shrug on the one meant for him first, as he usually did, before pulling on his own, then turned back to the cake, complimenting Nino once again.
“You’re gonna get fat,” Nino teased, leaning against him just slightly, even though he could barely feel the weight of Matsuyama through his fluffy coat.
“You think so?” he replied, but didn’t look at all concerned about the suggestion.
“You’ll get sick,” Nino added as Matsuyama sat the emptied plate on the table and reached for the next one.
“No I won’t. Ninomiya-san’s cooking is too amazing.”
“Oh please.” He tried to sound annoyed at the over abundance of compliments, but in reality he was feeling overwhelmed with the sense of satisfaction. He had been worried about his creation and what Matsuyama would think of it, so just the fact that he wouldn’t let it be thrown away or wasted made him warm and fuzzy under his Gantz Suit.
As promised, he finished all the cake so that not even one piece remained, even though Nino made quite an effort to stop him. By then their break was half over and the two of them climbed into the back of a van together, to warm up as much as they could before they were once again exposed to the cold air of the night for filming.
There was equipment taking up most of the space behind them and no one in the front seat at the moment, but Nino was still discreet as he suggested, “How about another all-nighter at my place?”
“Gaming?” Matsuyama clarified, although Nino couldn’t actually tell if he honestly thought that’s what they were going to do or not.
“Yeah,” he replied anyway, with a small smirk.
They didn’t continue any farther than that, just in case they were being overheard or watched or whatever (this was a very touchy topic after all), but Nino already knew what message he was going to write to him as soon as he had a moment with his phone. Even if Matsuyama was standing right next to him.
+++
A/N: If you couldn't tell, I'm totally in love with this pairing. The first time I saw them together promoting Gantz stuff I was like they are so cute and gay together. And they seem perfect for each other. ^__^
So, this is a little different than usual, at least my thought process. Of course fanfiction has a certain level of fiction to it, but I tried to make this as "real" as possible. I did a lot of research, although I also added my own ideas in the middle of the facts, with both the filming and being gay in Japan/etc. So if you want clarification on what's real and what's from my head, just leave a comment! I'd be delighted to discuss it.
As I'm sure you noticed, this is only part 1. There's going to be two parts, the next probably posted before next weekend (as after that I'm going to be busy =A= ) but I haven't completely finished it yet, so if anyone has any ideas they'd like to throw out, I'd love to hear them.
Comments and criticism are always welcome!
Part 2