1:1 Tail-Chasing and Baby-Making (Part One)
Ah man, I should be sleeping...I went to an MSI concert and I am so friggin sore. I rocked out and moshed for 4 and a half hours straight. It was awesome. But I was like, "Damn, I gotta post my legacy even if no one gives a shit." So here it is. Be happy. Or don't be happy. Whatever. Go fuck yourself. ♥
Warning: Naughty language, hot public smexing, a hot albino founder, super Maxis fug, fun gender-swapping, confusing and abundant self-sim family relationships, and otherwise your standard legacy bull.
LAST TIME ON THE GAGE LEGACY: Don't even fucking worry about it. It was boring. Felix, the Gage founder, made it through college and was a big slut. It was boring and really not that important. THE LEGACY STARTS HERE!
Felix: Ah, a fresh, new start! :D
I placed newly-graduated Felix on a lovely, empty 5 by 5 lot in Pleasantview. Fuck. This is going to be a lot of fun... *sarcasm*
(That's Felix in the middle of the picture, standing in the middle of his lovely lot.)
And only moments after moving in, Felix gets stalked an unexpected visitor. It's Hardly A 6, and she's so excited that she comes running in from nowhere to congratulate Felix on his newlyfound landownership...by immediately kicking over his trashcan. Thanks a lot, Bitch. As if I didn't already have enough problems...
And since this is the official start of the legacy...STATS (again)!
Felix: Um, if you could please remove yourself from the premises, I'd really appreciate it.
Way to be aggressive there, Felix, especially after kicking over your trash can while standing RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO YOU. You damn nice sim! D:<
You want 4 walls and a roof? Get a job! It's a good thing miss bitchyness didn't steal Felix's paper...Well, not that it would have made a difference anyway.
There were no jobs in the music field so he went into the gamer track since it was the only one with hours that started after 8 AM, and I had wanted Felix to go to work right away so I'd have a little extra for his starter shack. The second I take the job, I find out that he gets the day off...Fuck. That's what I get for not reading shit.
Well, nothing like a little skill building while postponing the inevitable house-building-with-no-money process.
And then...all of a sudden...!
Well hello, Aubrey and Bonkers (my gender-swapped self-sim and his cat). Why are you showing up dressed for work? (I'm a...I mean...he's a Muralist or something.)
Yes, I would look EXACTLY like that if I were a man. Poorly matched elf ears and all.
Aubrey: Konnichiwa! *bows* :D ^_^ ♥
Damn you, Aubrey! I should have never sent you on that Eastern vacation. You're making me look like a weeaboo. D:<
Felix: What the fuck are you doing?
Bonkers: *chases tail despite being a supposed genius*
Aubrey: Welcome to the neighborhood, my smexy, little legacy founder. I'm your creator and player'sgenderswappedselfsim!
Felix: Okay. I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about... Who the fuck is this kook?
Aubrey: I am here to build you a starter shack so that your legacy may begin! Then you can go get yourself a uterus and start producing babies for me to pick an heir from!
Felix: Wait...what?
Aubrey: I'm just gonna warm-up! *Begins doing tai-chi*
...AND...
*POOF!* A not-so-standard shittyass starter shack is born.
I built him an A-frame because 1) It's more interesting than a plain house and 2) Roofs cost nothing even though the walls are usable so that I could splurge on the windows (I was going for an industrial look) and put the toilet inside. Look, Felix we're a step ahead of the game already! :D
Felix: *gaspity* HolyshitwherethefuckdidthatuglyexcuseforabuildingcomefromandwhatthefuckamIwearing?!
I take full responsibility for the very shitty house, but blame Maxis for the poorly matched and ugly outfit...I bought you adult clothing (on top of YA clothing 'cause I was trying to think ahead) in college but apparently shit didn't carry over. I guess THAT was a waste of money.
Felix: Dude! What the fuck?! You don't really think that I'm going to actually live like this, do you? Fuck you and the cat you came in with! I didn't sign up for this shit! MY pocket rocket isn't getting involved in your goddamn legacy! >:O
Aubrey: *literally laughs in his face*
@_@
Welcome to Felix's shit-shack where the roof goes through his stove and sink. I tried to fix that, but it didn't want to be fixed...so whatever. I figured it looked all the more crappy and it went perfectly with my industrial, crack-shack kinda theme.
How does rusted roof tile taste in your pork chops, Felix? Mmm, yummy. Who needs condiments?
This is his bathroom/eating/sleeping area! Yay! A thrifty but very functional combination...that is if you don't mind smelling your own shit while eating or sleeping (especially as Felix has a bad habit of forgetting to flush the toilet).
That whole industrial set you're seeing is from Around the Sims 2, by the way.
And for his bed, Felix gets pimpin' purple! Woot! Now the shaggage may commence! (Actually, I have the woohoo anywhere hack...'cause I'm a bad, dirty girl.) I also like the fact that he gets a beautiful view of the mansion across the street (in which lives Satan; I'm not kidding).
I spent every single simolean he had, so...yeah. He's flat broke.
After waiting around for the welcome wagon and not getting one (What the Hell?), Felix gets called by the ugly hallway skank. It hasn't even been a day since he left college. Can someone say attachment issues? She invited him downtown, which I stupidly had him agree to.
However, buying him a cell phone was probably one of the best decisions I made thus far. Besides being obnoxious, it allowed me to get away with not buying a phone.
Oh well! Since he got the day off, I figured it would be better not to let it go to waste. I shipped his ass downtown to Crypt-O for some standard issue legacy tail chasing.
And now, for a review of the townie girls that were there:
Hello, moderately-attractive (by maxis standards at least), one-night-stand material.
Your not getting into my legacy with eye bags like that, but if you want a quickie, I'll give you Felix's number.
Oh god....definitely not!
I think she has the same facial shape as the girl 2 pictures up...so nothing more than cannon fodder to feed Felix's romance sim labedo.
And the only other female sim on the premises (that Felix didn't already know) was my friend's self-sim, Rachelle who is still on Twikkii Island for her vacation with her husband and son (if you can't tell from the garb), but still somehow came back for the night to go clubbin'.
And...
Felix hits the dance floor to shake dat booty. At least he looks cute instead of making some weird face while dancing like other sims tend to do. Yay for Felix making a normal face where he usually fails so many other sims have failed.
In a desperate attempt to gain Felix some much-needed bling, I had him DJ for a bit.
Well, that attracted some attention. Why must everyone insist on stalking my poor Felix?
Obligatory dance sphere pic...
In which Felix continued to be stalked.
Obligatory impalement-by-dance-sphere pic.
MAONSM: Your failure was so sexy. We should make out. Right now. :D
Felix: *Intrigued by such offer ++*
MAONSM: Oh, Baby, I want your body!
Judging by this face, she really wants it. I'd be careful, though, Felix, I think she likes to use teeth.
Rachelle's Self-Sim: *Thinks of Don Lothario/Felix yaoi and gets all hot over it*
Ah, you're so much like the real Rachelle that it scaring me...which means STAY THE FUCK AWAY FORM MY LEGACY, SKANKADOO. *points and accusing finger* I know what you're like!
Smexing inside the photobooth! However, I can't remember who it was with. Probably the ugly hallway skank and only because Felix rolled a want to have sex in public, that man-slut.
Felix: Oh yeah! That hawt sexing made my arm fall off.
Felix: *Calls up a taxi to getthefuckouttathere*
Weirdo: Take me home with you, please! ♥
Before going to his next destination I had him go to Cold Issue and get something to wear with the money he earned DJing because I could not stand to look at that maxis fug any longer.
Look at that bitch, so happy to take his hard-earned money.
Felix: TAADAA!
MUCH better.
Felix: Mmmm, foxy mama.
More like foxy grandmama (who isn't very foxy). Felix, you have the absolute worst taste. What would you do without me here to guide you?
Hello there, boobs.
Hello there, Dina. Yes, he is mighty fine, isn't he?
Felix: Wow. I wonder what the fuck her problem is.
Aww! He's such a cutie.
Apparently this old woman thought so too (she was swooning over him) so she came over to sag shake it for him.
Felix: *Gags*
...But suddenly!
A hot dominatrix snake woman starts swooning over Felix. It's, Dratini, my regular self-sim's aunt and surrogate mother. O__o
(Haha, like, half the town is related to some sort of version of me.)
Nevertheless, I made her one hot piece of ass, and Felix is defiantly going to hop on that opportunity real quick.
Felix: *whistles* I'd tap that.
Good, because you don't really have a choice in the matter.
Felix: *Checks out her rack*
Felix: Hey, sexy lady. Wanna fuck?
Smooth, boy. Real smooth.
Apparently she said yes.
Felix: *fumbles with his phone to dial the taxi service before Dratini gets her clothes back on* Gotta get out of here ASAP!
When he gets back it's still night. Woot, time warp. Those undies are something awful, might I say.
Felix: *Takes a dump while basking in his own stench*
I almost feel bad...he has such a cute/sad look on his face...Too bad I didn't think to get a closer shot. I coulda made it his founder portrait. >:D
Felix: *Makes bed*
Felix: *Looks for music career track job*
Newspaper: *Is worthless*
Felix: *Plays with it*
Okay, well that's one way to make something out of nothing.
D: Fuggo mailman putting fuggo bills into Felix's fuggo mailbox.
Felix: *Collects money for bills*
Bills. Nyah.
Just then...HA6 comes over!
Hello, Slutty McSlutface. Come to kick over my trashcan again?
HA6: No. I've come to pick a fight!
HA6: *Is a bitch*
Felix: Step off, Whore! .............. Blow me?
Oh, dear god!
Now broke from his bill paying, I sent Felix downtown to Rodney's Hideout to go hooker uterus lady hunting...and I figured, while he's at it, he can at least make some cash.
Then Nina walked in and was all like, "I wanna get in his jeanz!"
But Felix thought that this thing was hot stuff.
Lady-thing: Your hair is too sexy for me.
Felix: :o
And Nina goes for a reach-around on the waitress as Felix fails to charm said hooker lady-thing. O_O
Don't get too upset about it, Sweetheart. She's a sloppy skank anyway.
Felix: Hi, I need an eyeful of your boobs for sustenance. *ogles boobies*
Felix: *overdoses on the boobage* Daay-um, gurl, you've got it goin' on!
But then he suddenly ignores the pair of tits he just found lady he just met, and admires Nina's. I can totally see you checking out her rack, Felix, you perv.
Nina: I'm not into you 'cause you're not blonde.
Felix: I don't care. As long as you sleep with me. *smile* :3
This is becoming bloody frustrating. So I sent him home to avoid further failure.
I was amused that his pajamas matched his bedding.
HA6 is also in the background...she's going to go kick over his garbage can...again.
Then Brianna walks by! Brianna is my gender-swapped self-sim's wife and my boyfriend's gender-swapped self-sim. Getting confusing yet? XD Haha! And apparently she finds my founder (who she seems to be able to see through his giant windows as he was inside sleeping in his bed) devastatingly attractive. No you don't, Hussy! You're not cheating on my poor self-sim! Notice Bonkers in the background. Who the Hell actually walks their cat?
As soon as he wakes up, it's back downtown for more tail chasing.
Felix: *Used the power of the power slide to try and pick up chicks*
No one else is there yet, Felix.
Felix: *singing* You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel...
Felix, there still isn't anyone there yet, unless you're singing to the bartender (he is pretty fine).
And more money making. Chicks dig guys with cash!
He rolled the want to play...and since he had hardly anything to lose, I figured, why not.
Azn Raver / Face-Painted Calamity: *Makes a blowjob face*
Hi, Ben Long. You know what they say about guys with big noses, right? Also, that poorly dressed cow behind him kept swooning over Felix. Stay away from him, bitch! This isn't a fuglacy that we're going for here.
This asshole is cheating! Even with cheater Derrik Dreamer, Felix won §80.
HA6, you're such a fucking bitch. Die in a fire!
Felix: *sings* She fuckin' hates me! La la la la... *Also wishes that she was on fire*
Felix: *Sssssluuuuuurp!*
He has 3 neat points, but apparently, that's not above licking plates "clean." Suits me fine. Gives him a small boost of hunger and he doesn't even need to get up to do it.
Felix: *clueless* Dude...what the fuck? How did he do that tai-chi thing again?
Felix: *is cute*
Lookin' Good, Felix.
Hello, Alucard (aka Adrian Tepes).
He's the son of Dracula according to the Castlevania series. I based his face off of the SOTN Alucard. Felix has taken note of him as a possible babydaddy for future female heirs...or possibly a gay fling (cause he's totally looking at his ass). Too bad I can't actually marry him into the family.
He rolled the want to buy coffee for someone so I figured, well, why not Alucard?
...Because after taking the coffee that Felix bought for him, he went and sat down with PDC and ignored Felix.
Damn, Alu, you're such an asshole.
FELIX!!!! FEEEEEELIX!!!! Get over here! There's a cutie over here!
Pigtails: Yes, I'd like to rub your lamp. *a la simthetic*
Felix: Does that mean you'd like to have sex with me in public?
Great way to be subtle there, Felix. *headdesk*
Pigtails: Well, when you put it that way...
O_O
And so she gets on with rubbing Felix's "lamp"...with her mouth. Felix also became an amputee.
But it wouldn't be public sex if people weren't watching. Would it, now?
Alucard: What kind of theatre is this?!
Alucard: *shoots self in head for not jumping Felix's bones before Pigtails did*
Pigtails: Oh gawd! That was soooo hawt!
Felix: Thanks for the mediocre blow, Slut.
And when he gets home, he finds vermin waiting for him.
And he sprays them damn bitches.
Felix: Waaaaahhh! Oh my god! There were fucking roaches! *bitch, moan, bitch*
I thought I created a MAN as a founder! Stop being such a woose and clean up that garbage.
And only moments after he cleans it up and goes to bed...The friendly neighborhood hooker comes and kicks it over!
Sdkljet;ahjna;eiijdf You fucking whore! Get back here so I can drop a satellite on your ass! (I would too if Felix still wasn't in love with her.)
And when Felix finally gets up, he goes to catch butterflies as I simultaneously catch the fuggo paperboy in the shot.
Then his ride shows up right as this bitch-ass dog is ripping up his landscaping. Right as he's leaving for work...you whore.
And more bills.
And more job searching.
...and more downtown.
Felix likes to listen to music via his armpits.
Great gothic sluts, Batman! Felix, get your ass over here and chat up these nice looking genetics!
Felix: Duuuur...what?
Felix: Hey there, goo-
GS: Get the fuck away from me! I find you utterly revolting!
Way to be rude, Bitch.
PDC: His penor is as large as a skyscraper.
Yeah right. Like you'll ever see his penor...or anyone's penor.
GS: Oh man, that suddenly makes him extremely attractive to me, since I'm a size queen and all. *swoons*
GS's sending mixed messages so I figured I'd let him have another go.
Felix: So, girl, how's it going?
GS: WTF, STALKER! I am TOTALLY NOT interested in you! Stay the fuck away from me, RAWR!
Felix: *on phone* Hey, Aubrey? I need some advice. This total babe is denying me. I can't say anything to her without pissing her off. And she said says I'm revolting! This has never happened to me before. Usually I have to beat chicks like this off with a stick! Quick! My self-esteem is failing meeeeee!
Aubrey: Ask her to have sex with you.
Felix: Wait...what? How the hell will that make her want me?
Aubrey: Trust me. No one can resist a good sexing.
And I was Aubrey was right!
PDC: *Is oblivious*
Taxi Outside: *Beep beep...BEEP BEEP...BEEP FUCKING BEEP, MOTHERFUCKER! That means you get your damn ass out here so that I can take you the fuck home!*
GS: Oh gawd....that was so damn hot. The pink-dressed porker was right about it being like a skyscraper.
Bitch needs to make up her mind!
On a side note: Felix is a bump and run kinda guy.
Okay, Felix! No hating on the money tree that pays your bills!
Haha. Yeah. It was awkward ending it there but it was already 125 pictures, I'll post part two pretty soon (I hope). It's already written, just need to convert it to HTML, also, I randomly made a layout and if I can code it properly then I'll try to get that up too.
Warning: Naughty language, hot public smexing, a hot albino founder, super Maxis fug, fun gender-swapping, confusing and abundant self-sim family relationships, and otherwise your standard legacy bull.
LAST TIME ON THE GAGE LEGACY: Don't even fucking worry about it. It was boring. Felix, the Gage founder, made it through college and was a big slut. It was boring and really not that important. THE LEGACY STARTS HERE!
Felix: Ah, a fresh, new start! :D
I placed newly-graduated Felix on a lovely, empty 5 by 5 lot in Pleasantview. Fuck. This is going to be a lot of fun... *sarcasm*
(That's Felix in the middle of the picture, standing in the middle of his lovely lot.)
And only moments after moving in, Felix gets stalked an unexpected visitor. It's Hardly A 6, and she's so excited that she comes running in from nowhere to congratulate Felix on his newlyfound landownership...by immediately kicking over his trashcan. Thanks a lot, Bitch. As if I didn't already have enough problems...
And since this is the official start of the legacy...STATS (again)!
Felix: Um, if you could please remove yourself from the premises, I'd really appreciate it.
Way to be aggressive there, Felix, especially after kicking over your trash can while standing RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO YOU. You damn nice sim! D:<
You want 4 walls and a roof? Get a job! It's a good thing miss bitchyness didn't steal Felix's paper...Well, not that it would have made a difference anyway.
There were no jobs in the music field so he went into the gamer track since it was the only one with hours that started after 8 AM, and I had wanted Felix to go to work right away so I'd have a little extra for his starter shack. The second I take the job, I find out that he gets the day off...Fuck. That's what I get for not reading shit.
Well, nothing like a little skill building while postponing the inevitable house-building-with-no-money process.
And then...all of a sudden...!
Well hello, Aubrey and Bonkers (my gender-swapped self-sim and his cat). Why are you showing up dressed for work? (I'm a...I mean...he's a Muralist or something.)
Yes, I would look EXACTLY like that if I were a man. Poorly matched elf ears and all.
Aubrey: Konnichiwa! *bows* :D ^_^ ♥
Damn you, Aubrey! I should have never sent you on that Eastern vacation. You're making me look like a weeaboo. D:<
Felix: What the fuck are you doing?
Bonkers: *chases tail despite being a supposed genius*
Aubrey: Welcome to the neighborhood, my smexy, little legacy founder. I'm your creator and player'sgenderswappedselfsim!
Felix: Okay. I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about... Who the fuck is this kook?
Aubrey: I am here to build you a starter shack so that your legacy may begin! Then you can go get yourself a uterus and start producing babies for me to pick an heir from!
Felix: Wait...what?
Aubrey: I'm just gonna warm-up! *Begins doing tai-chi*
...AND...
*POOF!* A not-so-standard shittyass starter shack is born.
I built him an A-frame because 1) It's more interesting than a plain house and 2) Roofs cost nothing even though the walls are usable so that I could splurge on the windows (I was going for an industrial look) and put the toilet inside. Look, Felix we're a step ahead of the game already! :D
Felix: *gaspity* HolyshitwherethefuckdidthatuglyexcuseforabuildingcomefromandwhatthefuckamIwearing?!
I take full responsibility for the very shitty house, but blame Maxis for the poorly matched and ugly outfit...I bought you adult clothing (on top of YA clothing 'cause I was trying to think ahead) in college but apparently shit didn't carry over. I guess THAT was a waste of money.
Felix: Dude! What the fuck?! You don't really think that I'm going to actually live like this, do you? Fuck you and the cat you came in with! I didn't sign up for this shit! MY pocket rocket isn't getting involved in your goddamn legacy! >:O
Aubrey: *literally laughs in his face*
@_@
Welcome to Felix's shit-shack where the roof goes through his stove and sink. I tried to fix that, but it didn't want to be fixed...so whatever. I figured it looked all the more crappy and it went perfectly with my industrial, crack-shack kinda theme.
How does rusted roof tile taste in your pork chops, Felix? Mmm, yummy. Who needs condiments?
This is his bathroom/eating/sleeping area! Yay! A thrifty but very functional combination...that is if you don't mind smelling your own shit while eating or sleeping (especially as Felix has a bad habit of forgetting to flush the toilet).
That whole industrial set you're seeing is from Around the Sims 2, by the way.
And for his bed, Felix gets pimpin' purple! Woot! Now the shaggage may commence! (Actually, I have the woohoo anywhere hack...'cause I'm a bad, dirty girl.) I also like the fact that he gets a beautiful view of the mansion across the street (in which lives Satan; I'm not kidding).
I spent every single simolean he had, so...yeah. He's flat broke.
After waiting around for the welcome wagon and not getting one (What the Hell?), Felix gets called by the ugly hallway skank. It hasn't even been a day since he left college. Can someone say attachment issues? She invited him downtown, which I stupidly had him agree to.
However, buying him a cell phone was probably one of the best decisions I made thus far. Besides being obnoxious, it allowed me to get away with not buying a phone.
Oh well! Since he got the day off, I figured it would be better not to let it go to waste. I shipped his ass downtown to Crypt-O for some standard issue legacy tail chasing.
And now, for a review of the townie girls that were there:
Hello, moderately-attractive (by maxis standards at least), one-night-stand material.
Your not getting into my legacy with eye bags like that, but if you want a quickie, I'll give you Felix's number.
Oh god....definitely not!
I think she has the same facial shape as the girl 2 pictures up...so nothing more than cannon fodder to feed Felix's romance sim labedo.
And the only other female sim on the premises (that Felix didn't already know) was my friend's self-sim, Rachelle who is still on Twikkii Island for her vacation with her husband and son (if you can't tell from the garb), but still somehow came back for the night to go clubbin'.
And...
Felix hits the dance floor to shake dat booty. At least he looks cute instead of making some weird face while dancing like other sims tend to do. Yay for Felix making a normal face where he usually fails so many other sims have failed.
In a desperate attempt to gain Felix some much-needed bling, I had him DJ for a bit.
Well, that attracted some attention. Why must everyone insist on stalking my poor Felix?
Obligatory dance sphere pic...
In which Felix continued to be stalked.
Obligatory impalement-by-dance-sphere pic.
MAONSM: Your failure was so sexy. We should make out. Right now. :D
Felix: *Intrigued by such offer ++*
MAONSM: Oh, Baby, I want your body!
Judging by this face, she really wants it. I'd be careful, though, Felix, I think she likes to use teeth.
Rachelle's Self-Sim: *Thinks of Don Lothario/Felix yaoi and gets all hot over it*
Ah, you're so much like the real Rachelle that it scaring me...which means STAY THE FUCK AWAY FORM MY LEGACY, SKANKADOO. *points and accusing finger* I know what you're like!
Smexing inside the photobooth! However, I can't remember who it was with. Probably the ugly hallway skank and only because Felix rolled a want to have sex in public, that man-slut.
Felix: Oh yeah! That hawt sexing made my arm fall off.
Felix: *Calls up a taxi to getthefuckouttathere*
Weirdo: Take me home with you, please! ♥
Before going to his next destination I had him go to Cold Issue and get something to wear with the money he earned DJing because I could not stand to look at that maxis fug any longer.
Look at that bitch, so happy to take his hard-earned money.
Felix: TAADAA!
MUCH better.
Felix: Mmmm, foxy mama.
More like foxy grandmama (who isn't very foxy). Felix, you have the absolute worst taste. What would you do without me here to guide you?
Hello there, boobs.
Hello there, Dina. Yes, he is mighty fine, isn't he?
Felix: Wow. I wonder what the fuck her problem is.
Aww! He's such a cutie.
Apparently this old woman thought so too (she was swooning over him) so she came over to sag shake it for him.
Felix: *Gags*
...But suddenly!
A hot dominatrix snake woman starts swooning over Felix. It's, Dratini, my regular self-sim's aunt and surrogate mother. O__o
(Haha, like, half the town is related to some sort of version of me.)
Nevertheless, I made her one hot piece of ass, and Felix is defiantly going to hop on that opportunity real quick.
Felix: *whistles* I'd tap that.
Good, because you don't really have a choice in the matter.
Felix: *Checks out her rack*
Felix: Hey, sexy lady. Wanna fuck?
Smooth, boy. Real smooth.
Apparently she said yes.
Felix: *fumbles with his phone to dial the taxi service before Dratini gets her clothes back on* Gotta get out of here ASAP!
When he gets back it's still night. Woot, time warp. Those undies are something awful, might I say.
Felix: *Takes a dump while basking in his own stench*
I almost feel bad...he has such a cute/sad look on his face...Too bad I didn't think to get a closer shot. I coulda made it his founder portrait. >:D
Felix: *Makes bed*
Felix: *Looks for music career track job*
Newspaper: *Is worthless*
Felix: *Plays with it*
Okay, well that's one way to make something out of nothing.
D: Fuggo mailman putting fuggo bills into Felix's fuggo mailbox.
Felix: *Collects money for bills*
Bills. Nyah.
Just then...HA6 comes over!
Hello, Slutty McSlutface. Come to kick over my trashcan again?
HA6: No. I've come to pick a fight!
HA6: *Is a bitch*
Felix: Step off, Whore! .............. Blow me?
Oh, dear god!
Now broke from his bill paying, I sent Felix downtown to Rodney's Hideout to go hooker uterus lady hunting...and I figured, while he's at it, he can at least make some cash.
Then Nina walked in and was all like, "I wanna get in his jeanz!"
But Felix thought that this thing was hot stuff.
Lady-thing: Your hair is too sexy for me.
Felix: :o
And Nina goes for a reach-around on the waitress as Felix fails to charm said hooker lady-thing. O_O
Don't get too upset about it, Sweetheart. She's a sloppy skank anyway.
Felix: Hi, I need an eyeful of your boobs for sustenance. *ogles boobies*
Felix: *overdoses on the boobage* Daay-um, gurl, you've got it goin' on!
But then he suddenly ignores the pair of tits he just found lady he just met, and admires Nina's. I can totally see you checking out her rack, Felix, you perv.
Nina: I'm not into you 'cause you're not blonde.
Felix: I don't care. As long as you sleep with me. *smile* :3
This is becoming bloody frustrating. So I sent him home to avoid further failure.
I was amused that his pajamas matched his bedding.
HA6 is also in the background...she's going to go kick over his garbage can...again.
Then Brianna walks by! Brianna is my gender-swapped self-sim's wife and my boyfriend's gender-swapped self-sim. Getting confusing yet? XD Haha! And apparently she finds my founder (who she seems to be able to see through his giant windows as he was inside sleeping in his bed) devastatingly attractive. No you don't, Hussy! You're not cheating on my poor self-sim! Notice Bonkers in the background. Who the Hell actually walks their cat?
As soon as he wakes up, it's back downtown for more tail chasing.
Felix: *Used the power of the power slide to try and pick up chicks*
No one else is there yet, Felix.
Felix: *singing* You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel...
Felix, there still isn't anyone there yet, unless you're singing to the bartender (he is pretty fine).
And more money making. Chicks dig guys with cash!
He rolled the want to play...and since he had hardly anything to lose, I figured, why not.
Azn Raver / Face-Painted Calamity: *Makes a blowjob face*
Hi, Ben Long. You know what they say about guys with big noses, right? Also, that poorly dressed cow behind him kept swooning over Felix. Stay away from him, bitch! This isn't a fuglacy that we're going for here.
This asshole is cheating! Even with cheater Derrik Dreamer, Felix won §80.
HA6, you're such a fucking bitch. Die in a fire!
Felix: *sings* She fuckin' hates me! La la la la... *Also wishes that she was on fire*
Felix: *Sssssluuuuuurp!*
He has 3 neat points, but apparently, that's not above licking plates "clean." Suits me fine. Gives him a small boost of hunger and he doesn't even need to get up to do it.
Felix: *clueless* Dude...what the fuck? How did he do that tai-chi thing again?
Felix: *is cute*
Lookin' Good, Felix.
Hello, Alucard (aka Adrian Tepes).
He's the son of Dracula according to the Castlevania series. I based his face off of the SOTN Alucard. Felix has taken note of him as a possible babydaddy for future female heirs...or possibly a gay fling (cause he's totally looking at his ass). Too bad I can't actually marry him into the family.
He rolled the want to buy coffee for someone so I figured, well, why not Alucard?
...Because after taking the coffee that Felix bought for him, he went and sat down with PDC and ignored Felix.
Damn, Alu, you're such an asshole.
FELIX!!!! FEEEEEELIX!!!! Get over here! There's a cutie over here!
Pigtails: Yes, I'd like to rub your lamp. *a la simthetic*
Felix: Does that mean you'd like to have sex with me in public?
Great way to be subtle there, Felix. *headdesk*
Pigtails: Well, when you put it that way...
O_O
And so she gets on with rubbing Felix's "lamp"...with her mouth. Felix also became an amputee.
But it wouldn't be public sex if people weren't watching. Would it, now?
Alucard: What kind of theatre is this?!
Alucard: *shoots self in head for not jumping Felix's bones before Pigtails did*
Pigtails: Oh gawd! That was soooo hawt!
Felix: Thanks for the mediocre blow, Slut.
And when he gets home, he finds vermin waiting for him.
And he sprays them damn bitches.
Felix: Waaaaahhh! Oh my god! There were fucking roaches! *bitch, moan, bitch*
I thought I created a MAN as a founder! Stop being such a woose and clean up that garbage.
And only moments after he cleans it up and goes to bed...The friendly neighborhood hooker comes and kicks it over!
Sdkljet;ahjna;eiijdf You fucking whore! Get back here so I can drop a satellite on your ass! (I would too if Felix still wasn't in love with her.)
And when Felix finally gets up, he goes to catch butterflies as I simultaneously catch the fuggo paperboy in the shot.
Then his ride shows up right as this bitch-ass dog is ripping up his landscaping. Right as he's leaving for work...you whore.
And more bills.
And more job searching.
...and more downtown.
Felix likes to listen to music via his armpits.
Great gothic sluts, Batman! Felix, get your ass over here and chat up these nice looking genetics!
Felix: Duuuur...what?
Felix: Hey there, goo-
GS: Get the fuck away from me! I find you utterly revolting!
Way to be rude, Bitch.
PDC: His penor is as large as a skyscraper.
Yeah right. Like you'll ever see his penor...or anyone's penor.
GS: Oh man, that suddenly makes him extremely attractive to me, since I'm a size queen and all. *swoons*
GS's sending mixed messages so I figured I'd let him have another go.
Felix: So, girl, how's it going?
GS: WTF, STALKER! I am TOTALLY NOT interested in you! Stay the fuck away from me, RAWR!
Felix: *on phone* Hey, Aubrey? I need some advice. This total babe is denying me. I can't say anything to her without pissing her off. And she said says I'm revolting! This has never happened to me before. Usually I have to beat chicks like this off with a stick! Quick! My self-esteem is failing meeeeee!
Aubrey: Ask her to have sex with you.
Felix: Wait...what? How the hell will that make her want me?
Aubrey: Trust me. No one can resist a good sexing.
And I was Aubrey was right!
PDC: *Is oblivious*
Taxi Outside: *Beep beep...BEEP BEEP...BEEP FUCKING BEEP, MOTHERFUCKER! That means you get your damn ass out here so that I can take you the fuck home!*
GS: Oh gawd....that was so damn hot. The pink-dressed porker was right about it being like a skyscraper.
Bitch needs to make up her mind!
On a side note: Felix is a bump and run kinda guy.
Okay, Felix! No hating on the money tree that pays your bills!
Haha. Yeah. It was awkward ending it there but it was already 125 pictures, I'll post part two pretty soon (I hope). It's already written, just need to convert it to HTML, also, I randomly made a layout and if I can code it properly then I'll try to get that up too.