Fortune cookies (67% fortunes, 25% advice, 8% platitudes)
Recently, I've been enjoying going out to lunch with some colleagues at a good Chinese restaurant not too far from work.
Afterwards, of course, we get fortune cookies. We did the usual sharing and jokingly adding "in bed" to the end, but a few other things have developed in the last few weeks.
Shortly after I'd come out as poly to a couple of these friends and had started seeing more than one man at the same time and started to have to deal with the difficulties of that, I got a fortune
You will be successful in love.
I'm not normally touched by fortunes, but that's just what I needed to know then.
Not long after, I got
All your hard work will soon pay off.
This one seemed timed well related to my company's acquisition and that I'd be getting cash for my stock options (not life-changing, but noticeable).
The day after my mugging, I got this one, that seemed like it was a little late:
Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
By this time, my colleagues and I had noticed that we could characterize the fortunes that we were getting into four types:
1. fortunes (that say something will happen, like the first two above)
2. advice (like the one just above)
3. platitudes (see below), and
4. assertions ("You're wise and well-spoken").
I realized that a lot of times I felt cheated with fortune cookies because I got things that weren't fortunes. We talked some about how you could at least disclose the content of fortunes so that you'd know ahead of time what kind of cookies you were getting: plattitude cookies, advice cookies, assertion cookies, or real fortune cookies. Kind of like a nutrition label. Restaurants could show next to their health department certificate the composition of their cookies. If you bought "fortune" cookies at a store, you could get ones of a certain type, or a blend that suits you and whoever will receive them.
Fortunately, recently, I've been getting the fortunes at the table when others have been getting advice, assertions and platitudes. I got this back-handed good fortune recently:
You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
The "good luck" part was reassuring, but the "many hardships" part was a little troubling.
After we'd figured out the taxonomy of four types, above, I was thrown a curve ball:
Be patient. Good things come to those who wait.
A hybrid! The discovery made it appealing and interesting, even though it wasn't a real fortune. It was both advice and a platitude in one cookie.
So I'm curious now... Have I missed other types in the taxonomy of existing "fortunes"? What is the distribution of the types in the wild, and how does it vary by location, price, etc.? How common are hybrids? Are there new kinds of "fortunes" that might fill needs that aren't being met yet? Does anyone really look at or do anything with the Lucky Numbers?