So, I've evened it off to 8 syllables per line. It's not pentameter, but I feel like that's okay, since It's still an even number of syllables on each line
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a In innocence I watched you live (8) b a life with no duty or woe (8) a and yet your love proved elusive (8) b your heart I could not hope to know. (8)
c with renewed love and restored heart (8) d came renewed strife and bitter tears. (8) c Corruption soon took hold of you (8) d and confirmed all my darkest fears. (8)
e But where a princely heart can grow (8) f A princely heart can thaw and heal (8) e though I was well veiled in shadow (8) f You taught it once again to feel. (8)
g And so into the sunlit sky (8) g in unison our hearts will fly. (8)
I think this is better now! that line was really hard to make eight syllables because of the stress falling on the first syllable of "shadow". BUT DAMMIT I WANTED THAT RHYME TO END IN SHADOW AND I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN IF IT KILLED ME. X);
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This is nine syllables. I think the rest is good, though!
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b a life with no duty or woe (8)
a and yet your love proved elusive (8)
b your heart I could not hope to know. (8)
c with renewed love and restored heart (8)
d came renewed strife and bitter tears. (8)
c Corruption soon took hold of you (8)
d and confirmed all my darkest fears. (8)
e But where a princely heart can grow (8)
f A princely heart can thaw and heal (8)
e though I was well veiled in shadow (8)
f You taught it once again to feel. (8)
g And so into the sunlit sky (8)
g in unison our hearts will fly. (8)
I think this is better now! that line was really hard to make eight syllables because of the stress falling on the first syllable of "shadow". BUT DAMMIT I WANTED THAT RHYME TO END IN SHADOW AND I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN IF IT KILLED ME. X);
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