Amherst Bulletin aka am bull
Police report...
-Ali Elghorfi was arrested at Rao's Coffe Roastery after he tried to strangle a customer. He didn't like it that a customer of Turkish descent was speaking to another person who wasn't Arab. [I wonder what he was drinking....mocha latte with a touch of grass...?]
- a deer's head was found hanging in a tree near Mt' Warner Road, Hadley...[no, this is not Maine...this is Hadley...they don't know what to do with heads in Hadley..]
-students in the middle of the cemetary in the middle of the night, filming a movie, were advised to move on...[so they moved on to Raos where they could film some live action..]
-A Potwine Lane resident complained of a vehicle parked on the lawn causing damage....[damage to grass..?...got milk?]
- A proest in a downtown church advised polioce that he was going to press charges against a woman taking pictures inside the church......[need I ask? 'WHAT was she filmimg????]
-Police assisted a woman in getting a restraining order against her old boyfriend's new girlfriend...[because she was dating the new girlfriends old boyfriend???]
-vehicles involved in a minor accident on South Pleasant Street were gone when police got there...[yes.]
I certify that I did not make any of this up and that no police were hurt in the recording of these incidents....