A Tourist Guide To Australia

[saintrobert]

Or in other words what tourists should or shouldn't do here according to me

Comments

[mskauri]

Thanks for the primer...when I FINALLY get to visit your country, I'll be sure to bring it along! Like pharmgirl68 though, I'll be battling my husband's desire to buy the hat and wear it...and will likely lose. ;o)

[saintrobert]

You can tell him he can only buy it if he buys the one with all the dangling corks hanging from the rim (often used in the outback to tackle the fly problem). Maybe he'd then be so turned off he wouldn't buy it then. :D

[mskauri]

Oh, no...that wouldn't be a deterrent, it would be a motivator! And then I'd get to see it, in all its cork-dangling glory, every day here on the farm. My only salvation would be finding a way to move him past the hats and to some sort of indigenous art...and even that would be a challenge.

[saintrobert]

Maybe you can say there is a... mass salmonella carrying lice scare and it isn't safe to buy strange hats... or something.

[ulva]

1. Never order Fosters Beer. Don't worry. Wouldn't drink it anywhere.
2. Do not buy an Akubra Hat... Nope. Not my cup of tea either
3. Never argue with an Australian... Hehehehe... [insert evil grin]
4. We are the only country that eats our national symbols. We eat the moose which is our national symbol. So you're not alone and have my full understanding.
5. Never ever try to do an Australian accent. Er... it kinda sneaks in if I talk to anyone who actually uses that accent for real... Sorry but I can't help it...
6. We are a polite society... Sounds just like home then ;)
7. Don't ever bring up Steve Irwin or Paul Hogan unless you want to be stoned to death with beer bottles. Is there anything in those bottles? :P
8. Football is played with your hands not your feet. It's been pointed out before but I'll say it again... FOOTball... It doesn't have much to do with hands.
9. While all other football codes have 30 times the fans they never have had one riot... True. On the other hand, does it matter? Not particularly since I don't

[saintrobert]

Our coffee shops tend to serve beer. :D

[the_real_adamj]

Small note; I will not and cannot be assimilated. :p I like being British. :D

[orac_zen]

That's what you think, hamster boy... :evil:

Excellent list, ER. Tourists shouldn't be let in the country without this vital information.

[saintrobert]

Thankee SB. Great to hear such praise from an icon like you!

[orac_zen]

Icon??? I'm not the opera house. :P

[suckafoo]

I intend to throw Steve Irwin and Dundee in your faces as much as possible (because really, who can be proud of that??), drink fosters, call everyone "mate," make big loud obnoxious american jokes, laugh at the smallness of your cars, and lastly, do all of this while wearing the prized Akubra hat. And maybe playing one of those weird aboriginal horn things.

Thanks for the tips! ;)

[saintrobert]

You you'll get away with it because you are a cute perky girl!

Re: The following is all NZ stuff

[wineandsong]

Actually, Crowded House *is* Australian... Neil Finn was living in Melbourne at the time the band was formed, and Nick Seymour and Paul Hester are both Australian.

Sorry to split hairs with you there. :P

I'm devastated that pavlova isn't actually Australian! My mother would be most disappointed in that, seeing as that was her signature dish!

Re: The following is all NZ stuff

[wineandsong]

I don't disagree. But Crowded House was more than Neil Finn -- they were founded in Australia, and were two-thirds Australian.

Neil was, is and will always be a New Zealander. I will never try to win that argument, because it's unwinnable. :)