SHINee From Last Night (1/?)
title: SHINee From Last Night (1/?)
author: saitheisonfire
rating: PG-13 for brief language and mentions of drunken behavior that can only be topped by the stupidity of teenagers
genre: crack, fail!humor
summary: ever heard of the website called Texts from Last Night? now there’s a sensation called Texts From SHINee, and I’m writing little drabbles or one shots surrounding each text from SHINee. so. yeah,
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. I just wrote the fic.
They laid there, somehow sprawled across the living room floor in the apartment, with Kibum’s legs on the sofa
but the rest of his body underneath the coffee table. Taemin’s face, caked with dirt and grime, was smothered
by Minho’s back, as he was using him as a makeshift pillow. Beer and soju bottles littered the floor in a
careless sprawl, one balanced precariously on Jonghyun’s head as he drooled ungraciously on the carpet.
Jinki was the first to get up, as the leader he was the earliest to rise first to get over his drunken stupor, though
he still felt like a tractor went over him and razed his body at least 30 times. He wiped the sleep from his eyes
and blinked multiple times to get used to the harsh rays of sunlight glaring from the window. Looking around at
the mess of bottles and crumbled chips and (oh god, was that kimchi ground into the carpet over by the TV?)
Jinki could only conclude that Jonghyun and Taemin once again coerced the rest of SHINee to polish off a
case of Hite Cass and paint the town red. Jinki got up, more or less his joints creaked like an old man and he
hobbled over to the window, looking to see if there was any signs of damage, public defacement of property or
something of the sort. ‘The last time that happened we nearly lost our careers when Taemin was caught doing
humping gestures at college students and Kibum stole lipstick from the cordi-noona’s stash and ran it along
the walls of 5 buildings.’ Jinki thought, grimacing at the memory, hoping nothing happened this time around. To
his luck, there were no burning buildings, no cracked infrastructure, no hordes of zombies or police coming to
their dorm. Good, they just got shitfaced drunk.
“Yah,” Jinki croaked out, clearing his throat afterwards. On cue, Minho literally shoots up, looking around wildly,
his hair plastered to his face and neck and clothes extremely rumpled. His sudden movement caused
Taemin’s head to hit the floor rather hard, and the magnae was thus awakened rather rudely from his beauty
sleep.
“Ah fuck!” Taemin cursed, clutching his head and rolling around the floor in pain, kicking Minho. “The fuck did
you do that for?”
“I’m not your pillow Taemin.” Minho cracked his neck and groaned, looking at the mess in the living room.
“What happened?”
“We drank all of that beer?”
“Why were drinking in the first place?”
“Hehe, Jonghyun and I wanted to cut loose.” Taemin snickered.
“And somehow you dragged the rest of us along with you two and your tornado of destruction.”
“…. Actually I fondly recall you and Kibum hyung joined on your own intent,” Taemin shrugged. “Not my fault you
guys have a weakness for this stuff.” He picks up a beer bottle as emphasis.
“But, what happened?” Jinki asked again. “I mean, look at this-“
“Oh no.” Minho said softly, running fingers through his hair.
“-There is kimchi, ground into the carpet-“
“Jonghyun what on Earth did we do last night.”
“-The manager hyungs are going to kill us for ruining the carpet oh and that’s probably not the extent of what we
did last night-“
Kibum is the next to get up, and as graceful and perfect as he is, he has some difficulty removing his legs from
the couch, or is he trying to lift the rest of his body onto the couch? Either way he looks like a praying mantis
trying to hump the air.
“Ugh,” he groaned, finally plopping on the couch and stretching like a cat. “What happened? Why are you guys
all dirty?”
Taemin wipes his face and sees dirt on his fingers. “Oh, well, I guess we did something bad.”
“That’s it,” Jinki said. “We are no longer drinking. Ever. If Taemin and Jonghyun ever get the idea to have
another drinking challenge or party turn away and say no.” Jinki kicks Jonghyun’s snoring carcass to wake him
up, and he finally does, blinking rapidly and rolling around the floor to get up.
“Ugh what happened?” Jonghyun gets up and tousles his hair, making it wilder and now he looks like he was
fighting an epic battle with a road a few hours ago.
“You don’t remember?” Minho asked him, getting dish-washing liquid and warm water to help Jinki with the
stains on the carpet.
Jonghyun thought long and hard, humming a little.
“Nope,” he said finally. “I do not.”
“Did I take lipstick and assault somebody or something with it again?” Kibum asked, getting up and helping
with the picking up of the beer bottles.
“No, though if Jinki didn’t stop you, you were about to.”
“What exactly did we do?” Taemin put the bottles in a box for recycling. “Why do I have a pocketful of gravel?”
He takes out a handful of crumbling asphalt and rocks from his pants pocket. Jinki, Jonghyun and Kibum look
at Minho for answers, as he seems the only one who is relatively sober enough to even remember last night’s
festivities.
“You do realize that we were so drunk that we pretended that we were earthworms for 10 minutes and inched
around on the ground, do you?” Minho said to Jonghyun, but it was more aimed at all of them.
“Oh.” Jinki sounded distant, as if his resolve was cracking a little. “I hope no one noticed.”
“I’m sure the pedestrians that saw us would keep the footage they taped of us to themselves and not show it to
the press.”
Everyone can probably hear Jinki’s heart pounding out of his chest, and they definitely heard the squeak
come out of his mouth. They’ll have some explaining to do to the managers.
author: saitheisonfire
rating: PG-13 for brief language and mentions of drunken behavior that can only be topped by the stupidity of teenagers
genre: crack, fail!humor
summary: ever heard of the website called Texts from Last Night? now there’s a sensation called Texts From SHINee, and I’m writing little drabbles or one shots surrounding each text from SHINee. so. yeah,
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. I just wrote the fic.
They laid there, somehow sprawled across the living room floor in the apartment, with Kibum’s legs on the sofa
but the rest of his body underneath the coffee table. Taemin’s face, caked with dirt and grime, was smothered
by Minho’s back, as he was using him as a makeshift pillow. Beer and soju bottles littered the floor in a
careless sprawl, one balanced precariously on Jonghyun’s head as he drooled ungraciously on the carpet.
Jinki was the first to get up, as the leader he was the earliest to rise first to get over his drunken stupor, though
he still felt like a tractor went over him and razed his body at least 30 times. He wiped the sleep from his eyes
and blinked multiple times to get used to the harsh rays of sunlight glaring from the window. Looking around at
the mess of bottles and crumbled chips and (oh god, was that kimchi ground into the carpet over by the TV?)
Jinki could only conclude that Jonghyun and Taemin once again coerced the rest of SHINee to polish off a
case of Hite Cass and paint the town red. Jinki got up, more or less his joints creaked like an old man and he
hobbled over to the window, looking to see if there was any signs of damage, public defacement of property or
something of the sort. ‘The last time that happened we nearly lost our careers when Taemin was caught doing
humping gestures at college students and Kibum stole lipstick from the cordi-noona’s stash and ran it along
the walls of 5 buildings.’ Jinki thought, grimacing at the memory, hoping nothing happened this time around. To
his luck, there were no burning buildings, no cracked infrastructure, no hordes of zombies or police coming to
their dorm. Good, they just got shitfaced drunk.
“Yah,” Jinki croaked out, clearing his throat afterwards. On cue, Minho literally shoots up, looking around wildly,
his hair plastered to his face and neck and clothes extremely rumpled. His sudden movement caused
Taemin’s head to hit the floor rather hard, and the magnae was thus awakened rather rudely from his beauty
sleep.
“Ah fuck!” Taemin cursed, clutching his head and rolling around the floor in pain, kicking Minho. “The fuck did
you do that for?”
“I’m not your pillow Taemin.” Minho cracked his neck and groaned, looking at the mess in the living room.
“What happened?”
“We drank all of that beer?”
“Why were drinking in the first place?”
“Hehe, Jonghyun and I wanted to cut loose.” Taemin snickered.
“And somehow you dragged the rest of us along with you two and your tornado of destruction.”
“…. Actually I fondly recall you and Kibum hyung joined on your own intent,” Taemin shrugged. “Not my fault you
guys have a weakness for this stuff.” He picks up a beer bottle as emphasis.
“But, what happened?” Jinki asked again. “I mean, look at this-“
“Oh no.” Minho said softly, running fingers through his hair.
“-There is kimchi, ground into the carpet-“
“Jonghyun what on Earth did we do last night.”
“-The manager hyungs are going to kill us for ruining the carpet oh and that’s probably not the extent of what we
did last night-“
Kibum is the next to get up, and as graceful and perfect as he is, he has some difficulty removing his legs from
the couch, or is he trying to lift the rest of his body onto the couch? Either way he looks like a praying mantis
trying to hump the air.
“Ugh,” he groaned, finally plopping on the couch and stretching like a cat. “What happened? Why are you guys
all dirty?”
Taemin wipes his face and sees dirt on his fingers. “Oh, well, I guess we did something bad.”
“That’s it,” Jinki said. “We are no longer drinking. Ever. If Taemin and Jonghyun ever get the idea to have
another drinking challenge or party turn away and say no.” Jinki kicks Jonghyun’s snoring carcass to wake him
up, and he finally does, blinking rapidly and rolling around the floor to get up.
“Ugh what happened?” Jonghyun gets up and tousles his hair, making it wilder and now he looks like he was
fighting an epic battle with a road a few hours ago.
“You don’t remember?” Minho asked him, getting dish-washing liquid and warm water to help Jinki with the
stains on the carpet.
Jonghyun thought long and hard, humming a little.
“Nope,” he said finally. “I do not.”
“Did I take lipstick and assault somebody or something with it again?” Kibum asked, getting up and helping
with the picking up of the beer bottles.
“No, though if Jinki didn’t stop you, you were about to.”
“What exactly did we do?” Taemin put the bottles in a box for recycling. “Why do I have a pocketful of gravel?”
He takes out a handful of crumbling asphalt and rocks from his pants pocket. Jinki, Jonghyun and Kibum look
at Minho for answers, as he seems the only one who is relatively sober enough to even remember last night’s
festivities.
“You do realize that we were so drunk that we pretended that we were earthworms for 10 minutes and inched
around on the ground, do you?” Minho said to Jonghyun, but it was more aimed at all of them.
“Oh.” Jinki sounded distant, as if his resolve was cracking a little. “I hope no one noticed.”
“I’m sure the pedestrians that saw us would keep the footage they taped of us to themselves and not show it to
the press.”
Everyone can probably hear Jinki’s heart pounding out of his chest, and they definitely heard the squeak
come out of his mouth. They’ll have some explaining to do to the managers.