How To: Hitch a Breeder - Step 4/15
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[ previous chapters ]
Step 4: Show a Subtle Interest / Taking Care of Business
Justin was sitting in the cold, unbelievably uncomfortable office, waiting. He rubbed his eyes again, this time so hard, he ended up with those annoying dots blurring his vision.
Of course that asshole would leave him waiting, probably timing it so Justin had enough time to admire all the diplomas adorning the walls. As if he hadn’t been here a dozen times already.
The door swung open. “Justin, how are you?”
“Hello, Doctor Matthews.”
Doctor Matthews sat down and started shifting papers around-stalling.
Justin found that getting pissed came so easily around this guy. If he was going to try and start talking about the weather like last time, he’d-
“Justin, I’m afraid we’re running out of options.”
Yeah, it was going down just as Justin had been dreading it. He knew what was to come next.
“There are facilities a lot better suited for this. As a matter of fact, I have good connections to-”
“No.”
“Justin,” came the sigh.
“You know how those places are!” Justin jumped out of his chair and started pacing around the office. “They strap you down and sedate you at the tiniest sign of trouble. Once you’re in there…” He squeezed his eyes shut.
“Justin, it’s not like that anymore. They have qualified people, they could help-”
“But they won’t.” Justin was sure of that.
“Listen, Justin. I have worked every loophole I could find, I have called in just about every favor of the personnel here. I-… Look, I’ve been doing this because I’ve known your family for decades. But there are only so many guidelines I can stretch. There is no improvement, it-it’s only getting worse. You can’t tell me that you haven’t noticed that yourself.”
He had. Justin wasn’t stupid. Just not… ready.
“Therapy isn’t working,” Matthews continued. “Not the kind of therapy we can provide here anyway. We’re just delaying the inevitable. We’re not fit to handle this here, we just aren’t.” Dr. Matthews rubbed his forehead. “Did you know Dominic had to get five stitches because of the book incident last week?”
Justin nodded, biting his thumb nail. “I already apologized to him.” Repeatedly.
“It’s not your place to apologize, Justin. It doesn’t change anything.”
“Well, maybe I could-”
“Justin!” Dr. Matthews took a deep breath. “Look, I’m giving you two weeks to make a decision. After that, the decision will be made for you.”
Justin felt the walls tumble in around him. He sat down and stared at the nametag stuck to the white coat.
“I’m sorry, Justin. Believe me. But she can’t stay.”
+
Well, what the hell, Brian thought and ate the turkey sandwich complete with the not ordered slathering of mayo. He wasn’t in the mood and too hungry to send it back and wait for a new one. Why he didn’t opt for going home and ordering take-out he’ll never figure out. He snatched the latest issue of Out from the next table and started eating.
He was almost done with his meal when a “Hey, Bri!” gave a bitter taste to the last bite. “Theodore. What brings you here?”
“Oh, we were just walking back from the movies.”
“We?” There was no one else there. Ted turned his head to look as well and the bell on the door jingled.
“Hey!”
Brian had no idea why, but seeing Justin, thinking about him even, always gave him an inexplicable feeling of anxiety and then, frustration.
Justin walked past them and into the direction of the toilets and Ted sat down across from Brian.
It was weird to think of Theodore being friends with Justin. Really weird. “How do you know him anyway?” Brian asked, annoyed. And why the hell are you taking him to the movies?
Ted had just started leafing through the paper Brian had pushed away and looked up. “Who, Justin?”
“Yeah.”
“We met at the hospital. I mean… you know, the rehab facility where I stayed, it was connected to the hospital. I met him in the cafeteria once while his mother was staying there. He came to see her quite often and we would run into each other sometimes and have coffee. And we, well, we got along really well. He liked my humor.” Ted stopped to glare at Brian’s scoff. “Anyway, I was glad to have someone to talk to from the outside world and, crazy as it may sound to you, he was obviously enjoying my company, as well. After I was released, we stayed in touch.”
For some reason, this felt like a lot of information to process. Brian was obviously not at his best. “How is it you were even allowed to wander about and into the adjoining hospital?”
“Rehab is not prison, Brian. After you’ve bridged the worst of the withdrawal, you can go out for a walk and stuff. I was… well, I was scared to actually go outside, so I would just walk around the corridors.”
“Of course they would let a not quite sobered drug addict stroll into a hospital, essentially a legal drug market.”
“Well, Blake knew some people and yeah, he trusted me.”
Brian felt the remark on his tongue, but was distracted as Justin returned to announce his leaving and Kiki slapped his check on the table.
Brian didn’t know how exactly it happened, but he and Justin ended up walking together to their respective cars.
“So. You and Ted, huh?”
“Um, yeah? We were at the movies.”
“So you don’t mind that he’s what, almost twenty years your senior?”
“Not really.” Just as Brian was becoming frustrated with the conversation, Justin added, “Who cares when you - for lack of a better word - click, right?” And somehow, despite the fact that they were talking about Theodore Schmidt, this even made sense to Brian. “With Ted I had an instant connection, and so yeah. We’ve become pretty good friends.”
Brian rolled his eyes. The non-discriminative routine would surely make Justin popular. “You must have shitloads of friends. On Facebook, at least.” Brian inwardly cursed himself for thinking that comment to be fitting the situation.
Justin laughed, though, and that image in profile didn’t look remotely as unflattering as one would expect. “Actually, no. See, the clicking thing doesn’t happen too often. Not to me, anyway.” Justin shrugged. “Besides, Facebook sucks.”
Brian could only agree, probably on more than one count. The only friends he had were people he’d known for over a decade. Or people that Mikey had brought along, like Emmett or Ted. Practically no additions had been made over the past, what, eight years? Brian was still unsure whether or not to count Ben as a friend.
So, clicking. Justin had obviously clicked with Daphne. And he would quite possibly be clicking with her for the next couple of years.
“Oh, that’s me,” Justin said, pointing towards an old Toyota. “So, I guess I’ll see you on… Tuesday, was it?”
Tuesday, 4pm, last touch-ups before the finalization of the concept with Zamora on Wednesday. “Something like that,” Brian said instead, because he clearly couldn’t know all appointments that involved Justin Taylor by heart. He was a busy man.
“Bye!” Justin said, opening the car door.
“Yeah, later.”
Watching the car peel out into traffic, Brian decided that clicking was a stupid concept, anyway.
+
Brian smashed the door of the men’s bathroom shut.
“WHAT THE FUCK was that in there? Do you not realize that your job is to design the shit I come up with, nothing more? Who the hell do you think you are butting in on the concept?!”
“I’m sorry, I’m just-”
“Not that it matters, but I thought we’d agreed on the concept and the road map to kissing his ass?” Just fucking yesterday!
“Yeah, that was before I found out just how much of an asshole he is.” Justin ran a hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up into various directions.
It distracted Brian. “You-you can’t just… fuck, Justin, you have to keep personal aspects out of your work! This is the fucking finalization! This is it! We can’t tweak the concept now. Not unless Zamora absolutely insists. This is what we fucking worked for the past weeks.” Endless late nights and take-out fruit cups at 10pm came to his mind.
“I can’t do this, Brian. This guy is just about everything I believe to be bad and evil.” He reached up to matt his hair back down and Brian wanted to stop the action with a passion equivalent to that of one wanting to stop a car crash from happening.
And just before he shouted Stop! he remembered how fucking angry he was. How angry Justin made him. “You’re just… you can’t!” His palm hit the wall next to the mirror. “Christ! I can’t fucking argue with you! You’re so goddamn frustrating!”
“Uh.”
Brian leaned his back against the tile. He had no idea how to handle this situation and that was not something he was used to.
“Brian,” Justin started, and Brian wondered when they’d switched to first-name basis. “Integrity is esteemed. Especially in your position, where you can practically choose your clients. Do you have any idea how much I would give to be able to always act after my own conscience?”
“You’re an idiot.” Brian shook his head. He’d meant for this to come out a lot harsher. “This is advertising, not utopia. You’re paid for promoting whatever the client wants. You’re paid for promoting it the best way you can come up with. You’re paid to promote the useless product of a guy who’s a disgusting, ignorant, cheating, homophobic bastard. It’s business.”
“And doing that makes you feel good?”
“Seeing his money in my bank account makes me feel good.”
“You’re an idiot,” Justin mumbled.
Brian looked up sharply and saw Justin gulp.
+
The next thing Justin knew he was storming out of the bathroom. He went to the employee kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, but his hands were shaking and he spilled some.
It was the next thing he knew, because the minute and fifteen seconds before that? They did not happen. They couldn’t have. Because if they had, it would mean that he’d… that he’d kissed Brian. No! That Brian had kissed him.
And that Justin had let it happen.
It had been brief, very brief, but Justin could have pushed away sooner. He should have.
When he did, dark eyes bore into him and his body had hurt all over. It had fucking hurt, and he didn’t understand.
Justin’s lungs had been forcing air in and out of his body violently when he tried to somehow dodge Brian’s gaze after… after…
“I… ”
“Right.” Brian pushed away from the tiled wall and turned to the. “Daphne?”
“Huh?” Justin thought that solid ground should feel more steady.
“Your girlfriend?”
“Oh… yeah.” Justin looked up and stared at Brian’s reflection. He briefly wondered why his being straight wasn’t the much stronger argument, but then their eyes met in the mirror and it was too long. Much too long.
That’s when he’d run.
Justin couldn’t get his thoughts in order. He put the glass of water to his lips and chugged it.
When he returned to the conference room five minutes later, Brian was already there. They finished up the meeting, with Justin keeping his mouth shut the entire time. Not that he would have been able to formulate a whole sentence.
When it was over, he avoided eye contact with Brian as he said goodbye.
Then, he went home to Daphne.
[ Step 5 ]
[ previous chapters ]
Step 4: Show a Subtle Interest / Taking Care of Business
Justin was sitting in the cold, unbelievably uncomfortable office, waiting. He rubbed his eyes again, this time so hard, he ended up with those annoying dots blurring his vision.
Of course that asshole would leave him waiting, probably timing it so Justin had enough time to admire all the diplomas adorning the walls. As if he hadn’t been here a dozen times already.
The door swung open. “Justin, how are you?”
“Hello, Doctor Matthews.”
Doctor Matthews sat down and started shifting papers around-stalling.
Justin found that getting pissed came so easily around this guy. If he was going to try and start talking about the weather like last time, he’d-
“Justin, I’m afraid we’re running out of options.”
Yeah, it was going down just as Justin had been dreading it. He knew what was to come next.
“There are facilities a lot better suited for this. As a matter of fact, I have good connections to-”
“No.”
“Justin,” came the sigh.
“You know how those places are!” Justin jumped out of his chair and started pacing around the office. “They strap you down and sedate you at the tiniest sign of trouble. Once you’re in there…” He squeezed his eyes shut.
“Justin, it’s not like that anymore. They have qualified people, they could help-”
“But they won’t.” Justin was sure of that.
“Listen, Justin. I have worked every loophole I could find, I have called in just about every favor of the personnel here. I-… Look, I’ve been doing this because I’ve known your family for decades. But there are only so many guidelines I can stretch. There is no improvement, it-it’s only getting worse. You can’t tell me that you haven’t noticed that yourself.”
He had. Justin wasn’t stupid. Just not… ready.
“Therapy isn’t working,” Matthews continued. “Not the kind of therapy we can provide here anyway. We’re just delaying the inevitable. We’re not fit to handle this here, we just aren’t.” Dr. Matthews rubbed his forehead. “Did you know Dominic had to get five stitches because of the book incident last week?”
Justin nodded, biting his thumb nail. “I already apologized to him.” Repeatedly.
“It’s not your place to apologize, Justin. It doesn’t change anything.”
“Well, maybe I could-”
“Justin!” Dr. Matthews took a deep breath. “Look, I’m giving you two weeks to make a decision. After that, the decision will be made for you.”
Justin felt the walls tumble in around him. He sat down and stared at the nametag stuck to the white coat.
“I’m sorry, Justin. Believe me. But she can’t stay.”
+
Well, what the hell, Brian thought and ate the turkey sandwich complete with the not ordered slathering of mayo. He wasn’t in the mood and too hungry to send it back and wait for a new one. Why he didn’t opt for going home and ordering take-out he’ll never figure out. He snatched the latest issue of Out from the next table and started eating.
He was almost done with his meal when a “Hey, Bri!” gave a bitter taste to the last bite. “Theodore. What brings you here?”
“Oh, we were just walking back from the movies.”
“We?” There was no one else there. Ted turned his head to look as well and the bell on the door jingled.
“Hey!”
Brian had no idea why, but seeing Justin, thinking about him even, always gave him an inexplicable feeling of anxiety and then, frustration.
Justin walked past them and into the direction of the toilets and Ted sat down across from Brian.
It was weird to think of Theodore being friends with Justin. Really weird. “How do you know him anyway?” Brian asked, annoyed. And why the hell are you taking him to the movies?
Ted had just started leafing through the paper Brian had pushed away and looked up. “Who, Justin?”
“Yeah.”
“We met at the hospital. I mean… you know, the rehab facility where I stayed, it was connected to the hospital. I met him in the cafeteria once while his mother was staying there. He came to see her quite often and we would run into each other sometimes and have coffee. And we, well, we got along really well. He liked my humor.” Ted stopped to glare at Brian’s scoff. “Anyway, I was glad to have someone to talk to from the outside world and, crazy as it may sound to you, he was obviously enjoying my company, as well. After I was released, we stayed in touch.”
For some reason, this felt like a lot of information to process. Brian was obviously not at his best. “How is it you were even allowed to wander about and into the adjoining hospital?”
“Rehab is not prison, Brian. After you’ve bridged the worst of the withdrawal, you can go out for a walk and stuff. I was… well, I was scared to actually go outside, so I would just walk around the corridors.”
“Of course they would let a not quite sobered drug addict stroll into a hospital, essentially a legal drug market.”
“Well, Blake knew some people and yeah, he trusted me.”
Brian felt the remark on his tongue, but was distracted as Justin returned to announce his leaving and Kiki slapped his check on the table.
Brian didn’t know how exactly it happened, but he and Justin ended up walking together to their respective cars.
“So. You and Ted, huh?”
“Um, yeah? We were at the movies.”
“So you don’t mind that he’s what, almost twenty years your senior?”
“Not really.” Just as Brian was becoming frustrated with the conversation, Justin added, “Who cares when you - for lack of a better word - click, right?” And somehow, despite the fact that they were talking about Theodore Schmidt, this even made sense to Brian. “With Ted I had an instant connection, and so yeah. We’ve become pretty good friends.”
Brian rolled his eyes. The non-discriminative routine would surely make Justin popular. “You must have shitloads of friends. On Facebook, at least.” Brian inwardly cursed himself for thinking that comment to be fitting the situation.
Justin laughed, though, and that image in profile didn’t look remotely as unflattering as one would expect. “Actually, no. See, the clicking thing doesn’t happen too often. Not to me, anyway.” Justin shrugged. “Besides, Facebook sucks.”
Brian could only agree, probably on more than one count. The only friends he had were people he’d known for over a decade. Or people that Mikey had brought along, like Emmett or Ted. Practically no additions had been made over the past, what, eight years? Brian was still unsure whether or not to count Ben as a friend.
So, clicking. Justin had obviously clicked with Daphne. And he would quite possibly be clicking with her for the next couple of years.
“Oh, that’s me,” Justin said, pointing towards an old Toyota. “So, I guess I’ll see you on… Tuesday, was it?”
Tuesday, 4pm, last touch-ups before the finalization of the concept with Zamora on Wednesday. “Something like that,” Brian said instead, because he clearly couldn’t know all appointments that involved Justin Taylor by heart. He was a busy man.
“Bye!” Justin said, opening the car door.
“Yeah, later.”
Watching the car peel out into traffic, Brian decided that clicking was a stupid concept, anyway.
+
Brian smashed the door of the men’s bathroom shut.
“WHAT THE FUCK was that in there? Do you not realize that your job is to design the shit I come up with, nothing more? Who the hell do you think you are butting in on the concept?!”
“I’m sorry, I’m just-”
“Not that it matters, but I thought we’d agreed on the concept and the road map to kissing his ass?” Just fucking yesterday!
“Yeah, that was before I found out just how much of an asshole he is.” Justin ran a hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up into various directions.
It distracted Brian. “You-you can’t just… fuck, Justin, you have to keep personal aspects out of your work! This is the fucking finalization! This is it! We can’t tweak the concept now. Not unless Zamora absolutely insists. This is what we fucking worked for the past weeks.” Endless late nights and take-out fruit cups at 10pm came to his mind.
“I can’t do this, Brian. This guy is just about everything I believe to be bad and evil.” He reached up to matt his hair back down and Brian wanted to stop the action with a passion equivalent to that of one wanting to stop a car crash from happening.
And just before he shouted Stop! he remembered how fucking angry he was. How angry Justin made him. “You’re just… you can’t!” His palm hit the wall next to the mirror. “Christ! I can’t fucking argue with you! You’re so goddamn frustrating!”
“Uh.”
Brian leaned his back against the tile. He had no idea how to handle this situation and that was not something he was used to.
“Brian,” Justin started, and Brian wondered when they’d switched to first-name basis. “Integrity is esteemed. Especially in your position, where you can practically choose your clients. Do you have any idea how much I would give to be able to always act after my own conscience?”
“You’re an idiot.” Brian shook his head. He’d meant for this to come out a lot harsher. “This is advertising, not utopia. You’re paid for promoting whatever the client wants. You’re paid for promoting it the best way you can come up with. You’re paid to promote the useless product of a guy who’s a disgusting, ignorant, cheating, homophobic bastard. It’s business.”
“And doing that makes you feel good?”
“Seeing his money in my bank account makes me feel good.”
“You’re an idiot,” Justin mumbled.
Brian looked up sharply and saw Justin gulp.
+
The next thing Justin knew he was storming out of the bathroom. He went to the employee kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, but his hands were shaking and he spilled some.
It was the next thing he knew, because the minute and fifteen seconds before that? They did not happen. They couldn’t have. Because if they had, it would mean that he’d… that he’d kissed Brian. No! That Brian had kissed him.
And that Justin had let it happen.
It had been brief, very brief, but Justin could have pushed away sooner. He should have.
When he did, dark eyes bore into him and his body had hurt all over. It had fucking hurt, and he didn’t understand.
Justin’s lungs had been forcing air in and out of his body violently when he tried to somehow dodge Brian’s gaze after… after…
“I… ”
“Right.” Brian pushed away from the tiled wall and turned to the. “Daphne?”
“Huh?” Justin thought that solid ground should feel more steady.
“Your girlfriend?”
“Oh… yeah.” Justin looked up and stared at Brian’s reflection. He briefly wondered why his being straight wasn’t the much stronger argument, but then their eyes met in the mirror and it was too long. Much too long.
That’s when he’d run.
Justin couldn’t get his thoughts in order. He put the glass of water to his lips and chugged it.
When he returned to the conference room five minutes later, Brian was already there. They finished up the meeting, with Justin keeping his mouth shut the entire time. Not that he would have been able to formulate a whole sentence.
When it was over, he avoided eye contact with Brian as he said goodbye.
Then, he went home to Daphne.
[ Step 5 ]