The Sims 2, Part 1

Mar 02, 2008 22:18

This is the most addictive game in the world - moreso even than Katamari Damacy, and I once played that for about ten hours in one day. Words cannot describe how fantastically entertaining it is to watch your favorite characters from whatever fandoms you like flirting, dancing, panicking over house fires, and throwing shitfits over who gets to take a shower next.

The family I'm currently playing is called the Sevens, and consists of Tifa and Aeris (married), Reno and Rude (married), and Vincent and Yuffie (I'm trying to get Yuffie to propose). Aeris is getting depressed because she works during the day (She's on the scientific career path - currently a test subject), and Tifa, as a member of the mob, works at night. I had to get her to flirt with Yuffie to cheer her up.

Yuffie's a pickpocket who once got her pocket picked, so I suppose her skills are fairly close to canon. Vincent used to be a scientific test subject, but has since been promoted to lab assistant. In spite of that, he tends to get molested pretty frequently by some random scientist guy who pops in now and then. He's also clearly insane; I can't figure out why he keeps talking to a volleyball. Maybe it would make sense if he was lonely, but no, he's sharing a room with Yuffie, who has a tendency to walk around in her underwear. He should be talking to her, not some freaky painted volleyball that popped out of nowhere.

Oh, also, I'd like to point out that pickpockets and test subjects apparently carpool together. Possibly they're going to the same general area; I don't know. I didn't even know that pickpockets carpooled anywhere. But then, I didn't think the newspaper advertised for pickpocket positions anyway, so what do I know?

Anyway, moving on, Reno and Rude are both on the military career path. Reno's already gone temporarily AWOL once (something about keeping sausage out of his hair. I don't get it either), which is fairly in-character, but still a pain in the ass. Note to Reno: I'm trying to save up for another bathroom so your boyfriend will stop crying outside the bathroom door when he's about to piss himself, okay? (Rude also cries when the house gets too messy. Trufax.) Do your damn job so you can get promoted and I'll have money to blow through.

...That was supposed to be an introduction to my family, but I think it went a bit long there. Well, whatever.

I swear I hadn't been playing for more than five minutes when somebody tried to set the house on fire. I don't know who it was, but when I figure out who it was, I swear I'll put them in a pool and take away the ladder.* Or maybe I'll just build a wall around them and slowly starve them. MWAHAHAHA!

Er, sorry. Back to the fire - I was pissed because I realized I'd just spent all of the money on beds and tables and TVs and crap, and had completely forgotten to buy a fire alarm or a phone with which they might've called the police. Ah, well. C'est la vie. Solution: Pick out the sim you like least and get them to extinguish the fire. Reno! Get over there! Oh, wait, Aeris, I forgot about you - you do it!

But no, Aeris was unconcernedly sitting in bed, ignoring the four other screaming sims. To make matters worse, Reno was being a wuss and wouldn't go near it, so I had to get his BFF Rude to put it out for him. Screw you, Reno. When I get bored and start killing people off, you'll be the first to go.

I had a bunch of awesome screenshots I was going to share, like Vincent with his volleyball friend, Vince and Yuffie being hypnotized by crazy random scientist, all the girls fighting over the brand-new bath, Reno miserably failing to fix the shower (Rude did it on the first try), and various characters dancing like unbelievably enormous dorks, but the quality is so terrible that I can't bring myself to post any of them. Perhaps if I somehow manage to fix the quality, I'll stick 'em up here later, but I'm not promising anything.

*I did that with a sim of Samara from The Ring once. I was very, very disappointed when she failed to come back as a ghost.

content: screencaps, content: rant, game: the sims 2

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