Tonight, warbabil is gonna rock the house!
Hi, there! Somehow there are a lot of things that I wanna share with you, and it's kinda unrelated with the random title, hoho..
First, I’m back on my journal ← really unimportant thing to talk about, but hey, I’m glad I’m alive from this endless battle of life, lol
Second, happy Yocchan’s month! I’m not forgetting his birthday, I just busy with all of RL stuff so I couldn't go online on his birthday.. >A< Yocchan.. I wish you all the best as a daddy, hubby, and as a person too..
Third, today I realized that I’m really hate a text message without punctuation nor emoticon.. it looks like I talk to someone without any tension nor emotion.. so flat.. that’s also the reason why I’m really hate a poker face badly.. at least, please put a dot at the end of message!
Fourth, today’s evaluation! Last Friday, I talked about many things with E-aniki.. too much until kinda hard to remember those all.. about life and its point of view.. I realized how childish I am.. too much runaway.. too much drama.. now, I’m really sick of that side of my self (what an ineffective sentence it is, haha).. E-aniki said that I have a low self esteem.. yup, that’s who I am.. I don’t know how to put my self on higher place.. I didn't see my self better than what I do.. I don’t know the truly deepest side of my self..
E-aniki said that is my problem.. I don’t know who I am.. the real one.. not my persona.. not my label.. the true self of Fithria Wardanie.. who the hell am I, huh!?
About my self that I know.. I’m childish, pampered, and delusional girl.. I have a really big curiosity . I’m annoying due to my curiosity . I talked too much.. asked too much.. I know there are many people that couldn't bear this side of me.. I’m cruel, sometimes I said something harsh, without looking at the situation.. I’m not really care about everything beyond my self, like a worst narcissistic, what a selfish person.. I’m fragile, err.. not fragile.. it’s unstable.. I see my self isn't in a stable state, or I called it as Warbabil (Wardanie baru labil) state.. I like random stuff, babbling, rambling, and grumbling about every little thing.. I also have a lot of expectations, especially the impossible one..
Speaking of expectations, recently I have some conditions in which make me understand that I put too much expectations into people whose I believe can make them come true, tho those people can’t.. and vice verse.. for example, I believed A, B, and C will take care of me if I’m getting a problem, and the end.. they’re not..
It’s not because I didn't ask them to take care of me.. I did.. but somehow they have their own reasons to do so.. and at the same time, another friends of mine who are not-so-close-friends of mine, X, Y, and Z offered a help.. what a unexpected thing happened! That’s what the people called by “Expect the unexpected”! Not “Expect whoever/whatever you wish”..
*sigh* what I’m babbling about, huh..
And over this problem, E-aniki said 『you should apologize to people in your “unexpected list”.. you know.. they didn't leave you nor stand-still at far aside.. you’re the one who left them and forgot about their existences on your life.. they’re still your friends, even tho you didn't count them in..』
I know.. that’s all my fault.. I’m sorry, guys.. glad to having you all as my friends..
Fifth, about marriage! Is it weird if I talked about marriage? Is it weird if I wish I have a simple yet happy marriage? E-aniki said, a marriage is not all about happiness, it’s about combined two heads to struggle over the life's hardship, together.. I've got the point.. happiness is not what we’ll get every single day in our marriage.. it’s something that we want to pursue on marriage, right?
I really want to write a lot of my opinion over here.. but oi! Before doing that thing, it’s better if you finished your thesis first, War!
Okay.. save it later.. I’ll talk about marriage after my graduation.. rofl..
Sixth, I won’t say it the last, so I said it as sixth point.. I've already been a member of V-kura or V6 Cluster from Inohara’s contingent since twelve months ago.. it’s a year after all! I wonder if I still their fangirl on next year.. lol.. Today is their last day of OMG con, hope they will put all of fanservices, like bromance moments, lucky bingo girls and boys, Yocchan’s good nite messages, MC part, VTR, and also the wishes into DVD.. onegaishimasu (p >w< q)
That’s all today’s rambling.. see you on the next random post!
First, I’m back on my journal ← really unimportant thing to talk about, but hey, I’m glad I’m alive from this endless battle of life, lol
Second, happy Yocchan’s month! I’m not forgetting his birthday, I just busy with all of RL stuff so I couldn't go online on his birthday.. >A< Yocchan.. I wish you all the best as a daddy, hubby, and as a person too..
Third, today I realized that I’m really hate a text message without punctuation nor emoticon.. it looks like I talk to someone without any tension nor emotion.. so flat.. that’s also the reason why I’m really hate a poker face badly.. at least, please put a dot at the end of message!
Fourth, today’s evaluation! Last Friday, I talked about many things with E-aniki.. too much until kinda hard to remember those all.. about life and its point of view.. I realized how childish I am.. too much runaway.. too much drama.. now, I’m really sick of that side of my self (what an ineffective sentence it is, haha).. E-aniki said that I have a low self esteem.. yup, that’s who I am.. I don’t know how to put my self on higher place.. I didn't see my self better than what I do.. I don’t know the truly deepest side of my self..
E-aniki said that is my problem.. I don’t know who I am.. the real one.. not my persona.. not my label.. the true self of Fithria Wardanie.. who the hell am I, huh!?
About my self that I know.. I’m childish, pampered, and delusional girl.. I have a really big curiosity . I’m annoying due to my curiosity . I talked too much.. asked too much.. I know there are many people that couldn't bear this side of me.. I’m cruel, sometimes I said something harsh, without looking at the situation.. I’m not really care about everything beyond my self, like a worst narcissistic, what a selfish person.. I’m fragile, err.. not fragile.. it’s unstable.. I see my self isn't in a stable state, or I called it as Warbabil (Wardanie baru labil) state.. I like random stuff, babbling, rambling, and grumbling about every little thing.. I also have a lot of expectations, especially the impossible one..
Speaking of expectations, recently I have some conditions in which make me understand that I put too much expectations into people whose I believe can make them come true, tho those people can’t.. and vice verse.. for example, I believed A, B, and C will take care of me if I’m getting a problem, and the end.. they’re not..
It’s not because I didn't ask them to take care of me.. I did.. but somehow they have their own reasons to do so.. and at the same time, another friends of mine who are not-so-close-friends of mine, X, Y, and Z offered a help.. what a unexpected thing happened! That’s what the people called by “Expect the unexpected”! Not “Expect whoever/whatever you wish”..
*sigh* what I’m babbling about, huh..
And over this problem, E-aniki said 『you should apologize to people in your “unexpected list”.. you know.. they didn't leave you nor stand-still at far aside.. you’re the one who left them and forgot about their existences on your life.. they’re still your friends, even tho you didn't count them in..』
I know.. that’s all my fault.. I’m sorry, guys.. glad to having you all as my friends..
Fifth, about marriage! Is it weird if I talked about marriage? Is it weird if I wish I have a simple yet happy marriage? E-aniki said, a marriage is not all about happiness, it’s about combined two heads to struggle over the life's hardship, together.. I've got the point.. happiness is not what we’ll get every single day in our marriage.. it’s something that we want to pursue on marriage, right?
I really want to write a lot of my opinion over here.. but oi! Before doing that thing, it’s better if you finished your thesis first, War!
Okay.. save it later.. I’ll talk about marriage after my graduation.. rofl..
Sixth, I won’t say it the last, so I said it as sixth point.. I've already been a member of V-kura or V6 Cluster from Inohara’s contingent since twelve months ago.. it’s a year after all! I wonder if I still their fangirl on next year.. lol.. Today is their last day of OMG con, hope they will put all of fanservices, like bromance moments, lucky bingo girls and boys, Yocchan’s good nite messages, MC part, VTR, and also the wishes into DVD.. onegaishimasu (p >w< q)
That’s all today’s rambling.. see you on the next random post!