久しぶり!!
Hello i can't hold my clustured emotions no longer i need to release this all out of my system so if you see this skip unless you don't mind a good old rant (^-^)
Lets start with some happy stuff ...
School finishes this Thursday and what makes life even great is that its half day so i finish at 13h00. Okay anyhoo , life and school has been a huge rollercoaster and i'm talking about them rollercoasters you'd find in Asterix or them American movies or Tokyo dome land and i mean GIGANTIC.
On November 11th i recieved some devasting news when i got home my uncle who i was VERY close died in the hospital due to a 'heart attack' i put it in quotes because i refuse for that to be the reason of his death and i don't want discussions. As i am that sort of person i didn't cry but everyone around me did and i had to comfort them and i was really emotional and mostly pissed because of other family members trying to tell me how i felt especially when that was not how i felt. Then at school i tried to come in as normal as possible but i suddenly kept breaking down because everything was reminding me of him and everything was just making me cry but of course no one realise this so i am okaay. Then i had to start revising as i had mocks for Chemistry and Biology GCSE , biology which i had today and did so shit >_<
I have the GCSE's on May 22nd , too soon.
In a French lesson , my dearest congolese buddy who is like a cousin to me was going through the same thing and i tried comforting her but instead i ended up crying and a few people saw but pretended they didn't as they know how much i hate crying and tellings other how i feel , i find it inutile as everyone leaves anyway or i just can't trust anyone anymore.
Anyhoo , so i've been stressed as fuck , i promised myself however that when my parents were to come back from the funeral in congo i wad to try and be open about it , i felt better doing a speak out challenge where i decided to express to others how i felt and i somewhat felt clean on the inside.
Ahh yes i somewhat fell out with Yuna , as i actually have nothing against anyone anyways i've been trying to talk to her but she ignores and acts like such a girl , in these situations i honestly hate girls i mean fight and make up not bitch about it for centuries to come, i know i used to do i , keyword used to , i realised thats its stupid and went back to my '_____' days (^-^)
Ahh another important think i think i have kinda developed a crush on this guy its strange cause i haven't seen him since september and i was on the bus today with my beloved Kouhai and he was there and then ...
Kouhai : Ehh nani?! that smile kowai yo!
Me : what smile? *confused realises she is smiling as fuck*
Kouhai : You were just randomly grinning
Me: *thought he was getting on the bus* Ahh betsuni
BTW that was the actual convo haha XD
So maybe i have a crush i dunno cause i was certain that i only like Anime characters , i mean Natsume though *drools* haha XDD ... Plus i feel like this with a guy from my primary , sometimes i wonder if its just sisterly love towards him. When he smiles and all it gives me a warm feeling inside and i do get embarrassed when we have eyecontact (but then again i am like that with ANYONE who gives eyecontact) plus he once said i rather go out with Abigaïl rather than '____' and i was kinda happy but at the end i really wanted him to be happy and even set him up with a girl , i've told him i love you but now i think its nothing special , yeah probably just sisterly love haha XD btw this was the primary guy .... The guy i have a 'crush' on gives me kind of the same vibe i really want whats best for him and i've been watching out for him but when i see him those rare times i do i am happy. Shit its a false alarm its not a crush i am just too much of a big sister / mother figure haha XDD sorry ... T_T i am relieved it wasn't though cause if it was i would have died i mean i know so much about him but he don't know anything about me.
Fandom ... i have fallen for Vixx sorry to all you kpop haters but don't worry i still love Jpop i mean i didn't admit it but i always listened to a bit if Kpop or watched a bit of ktv its to add more to my knowledge of Asia haha , like my "brother" (science table thing) recommended me some fillipino dramas which i might watch i need to learn abit of tagalog (probably spelt it wrong gomen) cause the kouhai's i hang out with are mostly fillipino and i have many fillipino friends so i should learn a few words so i can randomly say it when speaking with them like i do with Japanese words and time to time hindi. My sensei has set me a task that every week i must say what i've done the previous week in Japanese which is funny cause recently i've been saying
"ドラマを見ました" or "そじました" or "りかのしけんべんきょしました" i've been quite repetitive but a positive is that my Japanese speaking skills are improving and so is my accent/pronounciation.
Speaking of languages i have my French speaking exam in mid January great! *extreme sarcasm* STRESS!!
OH YEAH ... my kouhai found my OLD cover on youtube and downloaded it on her phone *cries*
ALSO fangirls are scary and hilarious i have been amazed to the extent some fangirls go and how funny they are its just amusing. especially exo fangirls then again i always knew how crazy they are i mean i have classmates who are Exo fangirls ....
Today i saw a taka look a like and i cried cause he looked so much like him and he was so cute but i know it wasn't taka cause taka is more CUTER than that.
ALSO ... DEAR SISTER ASDFGHJJKKKL
Itakiss 2 (≧◇≦)
PLEASE WATCH THESE DRAMAS
i also got the chance to catch up on First class season 1 it was actually great i am waiting for S2 to have subs i mean KEITO!!
ALSO i was obss3ssed with keito for a long time now but then i moved to Ryuu and now i'm on chii so SOMEONE was wrong about Keito being my favourite ...
RANT FINISHED !