A short journey (oneshot)
Title: A short journey
Author: sakuraimiki
Pairing: None, but with KangTeuk in mind, obviously
Genre: Angst, slight fluff
Rating: PG
Warnings: None, they just, like, kiss (hah)
Summary: Kangin doesn't want to say goodbye, but he has a debt to pay.
“My heart that loved you, my eyes that looked at you, are still here”
“Just say it,” he keeps on holding around me, his hands digging in my back.
“Just say it and get it over with.”
He’s sobbing by now, the soft sound of his breath hitching making me almost lose it, almost giving in to what he’s asking for.
But I refuse.
“I won’t say it, not yet,” I whisper into his soft, soft hair and I can feel his body shaking.
When he turns his head up, revealing his tearstained face, I remember all of the many times I’ve came to love that exact same face.
Because no matter what happens between us, my heart that loved him will never change and my eyes that looked at him will always be here.
The many times I have kissed those lips, the loving words that have been whispered to him, my mouth on his cheek and his arms around me like now.
But this time it’s different.
“One moment,” he sighs, “and then you will say it.”
He continues to look at me, his glistening eyes searching for the hidden love in my own, but all I can feel is his breath on my nose.
A warm, gentle breeze calming me down, and I hug him harder, wanting to make his tears disappear.
We stand like this for a while, my heart trying to soak in all of these precious touches once again, while I’m getting ready for the word that has yet to come.
“Now,” he’s barely audible, his hands trembling when they go up to my face, caresses my chin and he leans in to me.
When his plump lips barely touches mine, he mouths against them, “say it.”
“Goodbye.”
I take one step out of the door, trying to hold on to it as long as possible.
But the sound of a vase breaking and a person screaming, crying and hitting things in his way becomes too much to ignore, and I finally let go.
I let go off the feeling I had of his warm hand against mine, but as a cold wind comes against me I still feel that pricking sensation on my chin.
A soft smile spread across my face as I turn to look up at the sky.
It’s a clear day despite the wind, and the look of the blue sky makes me think of him.
For one moment, it seems like I actually can see him behind those snow-white clouds, chasing shadows and memories.
As I walk down this path of memories, I can more than clearly see the road we have walked together, the years we have spent together as one.
I can hear his laughter in my ears and I can’t help but smile as bright as I can through my eyes glazed over by tears threatening to fall.
When I finally remember the first time he said the three words that means more than anything to me, my tears let go of my eyes and they start their way down my face, staining it with traces of him.
I want to tell him that it’s just for a short period of time, that I’m just going away for a trip.
Somehow, it’s true, I’m going on a trip for a while to heal the wound in my heart.
I’m going to make my mistakes be paid for, going to find out about my true feelings and where I went wrong.
The truth is like needles in my whole body, and I know I have to change, if that means I have to go away for a while, disappear from everyone’s lives before they can completely forgive me.
What I’ve done in my life has been right and it has been wrong, but the wrong things have always been bigger and greater than the right things.
So this is what I have to do to pay off my debt to my friends, my family, my fans, my lover, my everything.
After time passes, when I see them, him, again, I’ll tell him I’ve missed him.
Another day comes and I follow the sunrise with my eyes through the window, lying in my bed.
This day is just like any other, but it’s still the last one here.
I have decided to spend this day by myself, thinking.
Thinking about why my heart changes so quickly like this, why my changes hurt others.
Tomorrow it’s goodbye for real, and I don’t know if he’s going to be there.
If he’s going to manage not to blurt out his feelings while there are cameras and other people there.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring me, but I hope it’s a new beginning.
When I finally get out of bed, it’s getting late and the sky has decided to cry for me.
I lay down in the grass, making the rain drench me to my bones before it once and for all stops, making the scenery of a rising moon so much more beautiful.
It makes me kind of embarrassed to know that my tears doesn’t have the rain to hide behind now, in the light of the crescent moon.
As I wake up, I can feel his breath on my nose, and I believe he’s right next to me for a split second before I open my eyes and find my bed empty next to me.
It makes me think of all of the times he has been there, comforting me.
The times he has told me that it’s okay, it’s okay to be sad and to regret, it’s okay to be a human being.
Once, when I was younger, I did what I wanted, whenever I wanted, but he took care of me.
He was the one by my side telling me to grow up, telling me to become a better person, and I believe I did.
But human beings make mistakes, the only difference with me is my pride.
My stupid, childish pride that didn’t let me make up for my mistakes even though my sorrow could be seen through my whole body.
Still he was there, he pushed me forwards, made me realize that I had to do something.
And here it is, today, I can only wish for them to have forgiven me by the time I’m back.
I’ve figured it out by now, he really is the most precious thing to me.
He’s here, he’s really here.
They’re all lined up, tears in their eyes and there are as good as no cameras around us.
A few fan girls are silently standing behind our body guards, crying as they see me smile to my fellow members.
“I’m sorry,” I say to them all, but my eyes are locked with the person standing further back, his hair a mess and his lips swollen up, I wonder if he’s been biting on them before coming here like he always do whenever he’s nervous or upset.
I share warm hugs with the 9 people attacking me with reassuring words and looks that tell me they know, they know why I’m leaving now and not later.
Now, as they are all done with hugging me, they hold around each other, and I notice that I still haven’t heard a single word of goodbye.
He steps forward, hands in pockets and eyes on the ground, he looks like a lost child in the supermarket, his feet dragging him slowly to me.
I put my arms around him and hug him, squeezing him till we both have troubles breathing.
His low sobs escaping his petite mouth does something to me, it feels like something inside of me is putting pressure on my heart and I can’t help but cry into his shoulder as well.
When we let go, he smiles at me, and I smile back at him.
“I’ll come back,” I say to him in my broken voice, “and I’ll stand in front of you who I have missed. Soon.”
He half-laughs, half-sighs as he whispers into my ear
“With this heart that loved you, these eyes that looked at you… I’ll wait for you”
The quotes we share brings a sudden emptiness inside of me, because now I really see that this is happening.
Before I go into the car on my left side, I kiss his cheek, not caring about who might see, and I smile against his warm skin.
“Goodbye,” I say.
And then we part.
--
My heart that loved you, my eyes that looked at you, are still here
Oh baby say goodbye, oh just one moment, goodbye
I won’t say goodbye yet
The door opens and I take one step
And the tip of my nose feels your breath
In the cold wind, the memory of your warm hand lingers
All traces of you become tears that stain my cheeks
I’ll leave on a trip for a while and heal the wound in my heart
After time passes, when I see you again, I’ll tell you I missed you
Oh baby say goodbye, oh just one moment, goodbye
I won’t say goodbye yet
The door opens and I take one step
And the tip of my nose feels your breath
The sun sets again and the moon rises, today is the same as always
Oh, why does my heart change so quickly like this
Your image that looks like the blue sky is raining before I know it
I’ll hide my tears in the rain that drenches me
Oh baby say goodbye, oh just one moment, goodbye
I won’t say goodbye yet
The door opens and I take one step
And the tip of my nose feels your breath
In the past
You took care of me when I was so foolish and did what I wanted
You are the most precious thing to me
Oh baby say goodbye, oh just one moment, goodbye
I won’t say goodbye yet
The door opens and I take one step
And the tip of my nose feels your breath
Oh baby say goodbye, oh just one moment, goodbye
I’ll go back to the place where I was
The door opens and I take one step
To stand in front of you who I’ve missed
With this heart that loved you, these eyes that looked at you…
I’ll wait for you
My heart flutters as I read the words on the paper, carefully signed “Your friends; Monkey and Fishy.”
I can’t believe those two have made this, Hyukjae putting his heart into the lyrics and Donghae making the music seem like when you’ve just woken up and your eyes are still closed and you’re drifting between sleeping and being awake.
I go into the glass room, getting ready to sing what I believe is my final song.
However, I can’t imagine how the next few days will go, the days I actually will be saying goodbye.
Hoping for reality to turn out like the song I open my mouth and let the first words slip from my mouth-
---
HAY GURL HAAAAY!
Sorry for not updating in like, months, but I'm like... busy. Right, whatever.
I've got TONS of unfinished stuff in my random folders, and I can't seem to finish any of them. However, I wrote this on impulse without thinking too much :'D
I'll try to update more often, but we'll see~
And! Me and my lovely friendglassmanet have decided to go together for some kind of a series about Kyuhyun. We have barely started yet, but I can tell you that it's about Kyuhyun and a list with 101 sentences.
We opened a community today, but I'll post that later on, when we have actually written anything 8D
So, however, I hope you enjoyed this fic and that you'll look out for more to come ^^
Author: sakuraimiki
Pairing: None, but with KangTeuk in mind, obviously
Genre: Angst, slight fluff
Rating: PG
Warnings: None, they just, like, kiss (hah)
Summary: Kangin doesn't want to say goodbye, but he has a debt to pay.
“My heart that loved you, my eyes that looked at you, are still here”
“Just say it,” he keeps on holding around me, his hands digging in my back.
“Just say it and get it over with.”
He’s sobbing by now, the soft sound of his breath hitching making me almost lose it, almost giving in to what he’s asking for.
But I refuse.
“I won’t say it, not yet,” I whisper into his soft, soft hair and I can feel his body shaking.
When he turns his head up, revealing his tearstained face, I remember all of the many times I’ve came to love that exact same face.
Because no matter what happens between us, my heart that loved him will never change and my eyes that looked at him will always be here.
The many times I have kissed those lips, the loving words that have been whispered to him, my mouth on his cheek and his arms around me like now.
But this time it’s different.
“One moment,” he sighs, “and then you will say it.”
He continues to look at me, his glistening eyes searching for the hidden love in my own, but all I can feel is his breath on my nose.
A warm, gentle breeze calming me down, and I hug him harder, wanting to make his tears disappear.
We stand like this for a while, my heart trying to soak in all of these precious touches once again, while I’m getting ready for the word that has yet to come.
“Now,” he’s barely audible, his hands trembling when they go up to my face, caresses my chin and he leans in to me.
When his plump lips barely touches mine, he mouths against them, “say it.”
“Goodbye.”
I take one step out of the door, trying to hold on to it as long as possible.
But the sound of a vase breaking and a person screaming, crying and hitting things in his way becomes too much to ignore, and I finally let go.
I let go off the feeling I had of his warm hand against mine, but as a cold wind comes against me I still feel that pricking sensation on my chin.
A soft smile spread across my face as I turn to look up at the sky.
It’s a clear day despite the wind, and the look of the blue sky makes me think of him.
For one moment, it seems like I actually can see him behind those snow-white clouds, chasing shadows and memories.
As I walk down this path of memories, I can more than clearly see the road we have walked together, the years we have spent together as one.
I can hear his laughter in my ears and I can’t help but smile as bright as I can through my eyes glazed over by tears threatening to fall.
When I finally remember the first time he said the three words that means more than anything to me, my tears let go of my eyes and they start their way down my face, staining it with traces of him.
I want to tell him that it’s just for a short period of time, that I’m just going away for a trip.
Somehow, it’s true, I’m going on a trip for a while to heal the wound in my heart.
I’m going to make my mistakes be paid for, going to find out about my true feelings and where I went wrong.
The truth is like needles in my whole body, and I know I have to change, if that means I have to go away for a while, disappear from everyone’s lives before they can completely forgive me.
What I’ve done in my life has been right and it has been wrong, but the wrong things have always been bigger and greater than the right things.
So this is what I have to do to pay off my debt to my friends, my family, my fans, my lover, my everything.
After time passes, when I see them, him, again, I’ll tell him I’ve missed him.
Another day comes and I follow the sunrise with my eyes through the window, lying in my bed.
This day is just like any other, but it’s still the last one here.
I have decided to spend this day by myself, thinking.
Thinking about why my heart changes so quickly like this, why my changes hurt others.
Tomorrow it’s goodbye for real, and I don’t know if he’s going to be there.
If he’s going to manage not to blurt out his feelings while there are cameras and other people there.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring me, but I hope it’s a new beginning.
When I finally get out of bed, it’s getting late and the sky has decided to cry for me.
I lay down in the grass, making the rain drench me to my bones before it once and for all stops, making the scenery of a rising moon so much more beautiful.
It makes me kind of embarrassed to know that my tears doesn’t have the rain to hide behind now, in the light of the crescent moon.
As I wake up, I can feel his breath on my nose, and I believe he’s right next to me for a split second before I open my eyes and find my bed empty next to me.
It makes me think of all of the times he has been there, comforting me.
The times he has told me that it’s okay, it’s okay to be sad and to regret, it’s okay to be a human being.
Once, when I was younger, I did what I wanted, whenever I wanted, but he took care of me.
He was the one by my side telling me to grow up, telling me to become a better person, and I believe I did.
But human beings make mistakes, the only difference with me is my pride.
My stupid, childish pride that didn’t let me make up for my mistakes even though my sorrow could be seen through my whole body.
Still he was there, he pushed me forwards, made me realize that I had to do something.
And here it is, today, I can only wish for them to have forgiven me by the time I’m back.
I’ve figured it out by now, he really is the most precious thing to me.
He’s here, he’s really here.
They’re all lined up, tears in their eyes and there are as good as no cameras around us.
A few fan girls are silently standing behind our body guards, crying as they see me smile to my fellow members.
“I’m sorry,” I say to them all, but my eyes are locked with the person standing further back, his hair a mess and his lips swollen up, I wonder if he’s been biting on them before coming here like he always do whenever he’s nervous or upset.
I share warm hugs with the 9 people attacking me with reassuring words and looks that tell me they know, they know why I’m leaving now and not later.
Now, as they are all done with hugging me, they hold around each other, and I notice that I still haven’t heard a single word of goodbye.
He steps forward, hands in pockets and eyes on the ground, he looks like a lost child in the supermarket, his feet dragging him slowly to me.
I put my arms around him and hug him, squeezing him till we both have troubles breathing.
His low sobs escaping his petite mouth does something to me, it feels like something inside of me is putting pressure on my heart and I can’t help but cry into his shoulder as well.
When we let go, he smiles at me, and I smile back at him.
“I’ll come back,” I say to him in my broken voice, “and I’ll stand in front of you who I have missed. Soon.”
He half-laughs, half-sighs as he whispers into my ear
“With this heart that loved you, these eyes that looked at you… I’ll wait for you”
The quotes we share brings a sudden emptiness inside of me, because now I really see that this is happening.
Before I go into the car on my left side, I kiss his cheek, not caring about who might see, and I smile against his warm skin.
“Goodbye,” I say.
And then we part.
--
My heart that loved you, my eyes that looked at you, are still here
Oh baby say goodbye, oh just one moment, goodbye
I won’t say goodbye yet
The door opens and I take one step
And the tip of my nose feels your breath
In the cold wind, the memory of your warm hand lingers
All traces of you become tears that stain my cheeks
I’ll leave on a trip for a while and heal the wound in my heart
After time passes, when I see you again, I’ll tell you I missed you
Oh baby say goodbye, oh just one moment, goodbye
I won’t say goodbye yet
The door opens and I take one step
And the tip of my nose feels your breath
The sun sets again and the moon rises, today is the same as always
Oh, why does my heart change so quickly like this
Your image that looks like the blue sky is raining before I know it
I’ll hide my tears in the rain that drenches me
Oh baby say goodbye, oh just one moment, goodbye
I won’t say goodbye yet
The door opens and I take one step
And the tip of my nose feels your breath
In the past
You took care of me when I was so foolish and did what I wanted
You are the most precious thing to me
Oh baby say goodbye, oh just one moment, goodbye
I won’t say goodbye yet
The door opens and I take one step
And the tip of my nose feels your breath
Oh baby say goodbye, oh just one moment, goodbye
I’ll go back to the place where I was
The door opens and I take one step
To stand in front of you who I’ve missed
With this heart that loved you, these eyes that looked at you…
I’ll wait for you
My heart flutters as I read the words on the paper, carefully signed “Your friends; Monkey and Fishy.”
I can’t believe those two have made this, Hyukjae putting his heart into the lyrics and Donghae making the music seem like when you’ve just woken up and your eyes are still closed and you’re drifting between sleeping and being awake.
I go into the glass room, getting ready to sing what I believe is my final song.
However, I can’t imagine how the next few days will go, the days I actually will be saying goodbye.
Hoping for reality to turn out like the song I open my mouth and let the first words slip from my mouth-
---
HAY GURL HAAAAY!
Sorry for not updating in like, months, but I'm like... busy. Right, whatever.
I've got TONS of unfinished stuff in my random folders, and I can't seem to finish any of them. However, I wrote this on impulse without thinking too much :'D
I'll try to update more often, but we'll see~
And! Me and my lovely friendglassmanet have decided to go together for some kind of a series about Kyuhyun. We have barely started yet, but I can tell you that it's about Kyuhyun and a list with 101 sentences.
We opened a community today, but I'll post that later on, when we have actually written anything 8D
So, however, I hope you enjoyed this fic and that you'll look out for more to come ^^