Title : Right Path
Pairing : Ohmiya, Sakuraiba, Yama
Length : One-shot
Genre : Romance
Disclaimer : I don't own Arashi.. Just the story.. >.<
Summary : Ohno finally decided to choose the right path.. *okay I'm not very good in summarizing things* XD
A/N : It's Ohno's POV and it's unbeta-ed. Please be prepared with grammatical errors. :)
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"Let's end all this,"
I spoke calmly that evening, totally restraining myself from looking up to his face, which I was certain that it had turned pale upon hearing my words. I kept my gaze locked at my interlacing fingers, stiffening my body when he sat beside me on the bed.
"Don't say that, Satoshi.." he pled slowly but whole-heartedly, reaching for my fingers and grasped them tightly, as if letting his hope flowed through the skin contact. "You know I love you.." he added reassuringly, but I chose to pull my fingers out of his grasp and shook my head slowly.
"I can't do this anymore.. He was too kind.." I reasoned, hanging my head down and stared at my feet in guilt as my husband's kind face crossed my mind. No, I couldn't keep on doing all this. I couldn't keep on cheating behind his back, not when he was putting his full trust on me, not when he was believing in everything I said to him.
"Why..?" came out from Sho's mouth after a moment of silence. His voice was almost inaudible, I could clearly heard that it was shaking, indicating his broken heart.
I remained silent, didn't dare to look at his gloomy face because I could barely give him an answer to his question. Because I didn't know it myself, as to why I wanted to end this relationship. I just simply pity my husband, recalling the way he treated me with his utmost kindness and gentleness, but yet I was deceiving him mercilessly, not to mention countless time.
"I'm sorry.." I finally said, biting my lower lips to fight the urge to pull Sho into my embrace upon catching a sight of a single tear escaping his eyes.
I knew I was being cruel here, because the one who was eager to go on with this relationship after my marriage was no other but me, and now I made this selfish request. But pitying my husband wasn't the only reason, the actual fact was I was thinking for Aiba, Sho's future wife.
I had met Aiba once, and I could tell that he was a really nice man, which I was certain that Sho would be happy if he lives with him. Putting aside his love for me, of course. I couldn't imagine how Aiba will feel if he discovers that Sho was cheating on him someday. Added to the fact that he knew me, the person whom Sho was in love with. I felt bad for Aiba, I felt that this was somehow not fair for him.
"I'm sorry.." I repeated in total guilt, glancing at his wet face. "Let's try our best in our real life.." I added low.
By real, I really mean our REAL life, with the person who was destined with us. Sho with Aiba, and I with my husband. At this time, I wasn't really sure if my husband was my destined person, but I did think that at least I have to try to give my commitment to my marriage. And Sho has to try his best with his upcoming marriage.
If my husband and I weren't meant for each other, I prayed that God will open a new path for me to move on. And I wouldn't stop praying for Sho's happiness with Aiba.
-----
"Tadaima," I uttered low, shutting the door behind me almost soundlessly upon seeing the darkness, which means my husband had gone to sleep.
I tiptoed silently towards the living room, and almost stumbled backwards when a face appeared in the dark if not because of a pair of arms skillfully caught my body.
"Ka- Kazu?" I stuttered, clutching onto the man's collar unsurely.
The familiar hum that I got made me sighed in relieved, and Kazu let go of my waist once I stood stably on my feet. I fidgetted with my fingers as I felt him staring at me, because I didn't think I knew what kind of look that he was giving me.
Angry? Probably because I came back late. And probably because he already discovered that I was actually cheating behind him.
"Having fun at the party?" Kazu broke the silence, taking my cold fingers in his hand and caressed them gently. "You should have come back early.. You exposed to coldness too much," he said concernly, rubbing my fingers in between his hands soothingly.
I stunned, my eyes fixed unconsciously at our hands, and I felt my throat became dry all of the sudden. I really wanted to tell him what I had done behind him, but nothing seemed to come out from my lips. At the end I just stared at my feet, and as I already expected, Kazu was quick to notice that something was wrong with me.
I looked up when I felt a gentle touch on my shoulders, and Kazu's worried face was clear to my sight that I couldn't help but to feel guilty for treating him like this. I felt like keeping the things between me and Sho from him, but somehow I knew I have to atone for my sin in order to move on. And for that, I must tell him about what happened behind his back.
I took a deep breath and gazed into his brown eyes, and tears were quick to form in my eyes. How could I even have the heart to do such thing to him, who was being all kind and gentle to me since we got married, I couldn't find the answer myself.
"Satoshi? What's wrong?" he asked gently, rubbing my arms in an attempt to calm me down.
I shook my head rapidly, feeling of guilty already engulfed my heart. I tried to push his fingers off my body but he held me tightly, before pulling me into his embrace half-forcingly, caressing my hair.
"Did something happened at the party?" he asked, running his fingers through my hair tenderly.
I sob as I heard his earnest question.
I lied! There's no party! I was at Sho's apartment!
I felt like screaming them into his ears, but somehow I didn't have the courage. I was afraid if he ended up hating me, no, I didn't want our marriage to end!
"Satoshi?" he called softly, silently pressing his question earlier. I cried and gripped his shirt tightly, shaking my head slowly against his chest.
"I lied.." I uttered low, a bit scared to how he would react.
"About what?" he asked calmly then, and I really felt like I was suffocated by his kindness and calmness.
"There wasn't any party.." I continued, taking a deep breath to reveal the painful fact. "I was at Sho's each and every time.." my voice was almost inaudible, but I'm certain that Kazu could hear it clearly.
I shut my eyes in desperation, waiting for his next action. Will he push me away? Or will he shout at me angrily?
"I know,"
This time, it was me who pulled myself away from his body. I looked up to his smiling face, but I noticed the painful look in his eyes. He was hurt, I knew.
"You... Know?" I asked back hesitantly, and gasped in perplexed as I saw him nodded. "Why don't you try to stop me?" I asked then, slightly frustrated. I thought he loves me, but now...
The smile on Kazu's face confused me a little, but I didn't have to wait long for his answer as he pushed me softly against the wall, trapping me in between his arms. My lips parted a bit as I looked up to his face with hesitant, and unconsciously closed my eyes when he leaned closer and claimed my lips gently.
I could feel my heart was beating crazily, my blood was circulating in a very high speed through my veins, and my body shivered as his lips moving perfectly against mine. I blinked in confused as he pulled away with a tiny smile, gazing deep into my eyes.
"Don't ever think that I don't love you.." he said knowingly, and I was totally dumbfounded as to how he could read my thought. "Of course I do.. But your happiness is what important to me.. That is why I didn't stop you from seeing him, even if it hurts me so badly.. Whatever to make you happy, I'll definitely agree to it, Satoshi.." he added softly, brushing his thumb through my cheek.
"Even if I ask you to let me go?" I asked with my shaky voice, trying hardly to hold back my tears from overflowing.
"Even if you ask me to let you go," he stressed his words confidently, but the sign of sorrow could be seen clearly in his eyes as he nodded reassuringly. "But I can't never thank God enough for letting you stay with me all this time.." he added low, forcing a bitter smile.
I slid down the wall with tears rushing down my cheeks, thinking how cruel I had been to him, yet he still think of my happiness. I didn't want to leave him, I really didn't want to. I wanted to stay with him, I wanted to give our marriage a chance, but how should I express all this to him?
"Satoshi.." he called me gently as he squatted down in front of me, brushing away a few bangs from my sweaty forehead. "Do you want me-"
"No! Don't!" I cried desperately, throwing my arms around his neck and letting my tears fell to his shoulder. "Don't let me go.. I want to stay with you.." I admitted earnestly, going down and buried my face in his chest. "I want to stay with you.."
I felt him wrapped his arms around my body, and a soft kiss landed on top of my head.
"Don't force yourself.. What about you and-"
"It's over," I cut him off, "I ended it.. Please don't say you'll let me go.. I promise to be a good wife, I promise!" I begged desperately, tugging onto his shirt.
His arms around me tightened, and for a moment I could hear him crying, mumbling how he was thankful that God finally granted his wish. His wish to have me as his wife, his real wife.
I smiled in between my tears, clinging onto his neck like he was my lifeline. Yes, I promise to be a good wife, I promise to try my best to be a Ninomiya Satoshi that Kazu could feel worth and proud marrying.
I promise.
-----
Two months later..
Jun's wedding ceremony was held today, and I decided to go with Kazu. Jun seemed dumbfounded when he first saw us, but I took a few minutes to talk to him in private, and I explained everything to him. I thought he would be upset because I wasn't able to keep my relationship with Sho, but then he just smiled, patting my shoulder encouragingly.
"That's the best thing to do, Oh-chan.. Ninomiya seems like a nice guy after all," he commented while glancing at Kazu, who was waiting for me at one corner.
I nodded agreeably, and quickly excused myself when Jun was called by his family. I acknowledged his family with a polite nod and smile, before striding towards my husband.
I pulled Kazu's hand towards our table and settled down, totally thankful that Jun saved me a nice spot on his ceremony. But the emptiness of the next table bothered me somehow. After what I told him earlier, it wasn't impossible that he was going to save another table for Sho right?
And my thought was cleared when I saw him walked in with Aiba, with Aiba's arm around his arm. They looked perfect together, I had to admit it even though I didn't really like the fact.
Okay, I wasn't jealous, that was for sure. I have Kazu by my side now, and that was the best thing ever happened in my life.
I nodded as a sign of acknowledgement when our eyes met, and Sho forced a smile in return. We shifted our attentions to the front when the ceremony started, but I could notice him glancing over my table once in a while.
In the middle of the ceremony, I patted Kazu's arm and told him that I need to go to the restroom. He seemed reluctant and insisted to go with me, but I assured him that I wouldn't get lost. I wondered why he got worried at the first place.
But when Sho walked into the restroom a moment after I got in, I found the answer to Kazu's worry. He probably could tell what was coming, that was why he felt reluctant to let me go alone earlier.
Sho leaned against the wall with his arms crossed to his chest, while I was washing my hands at the sink. I glanced at him through the mirror, feeling uneasy when he hadn't spoken a word.
"How are you?" I finally asked, turning around to face him and leaned against the sink.
"Just fine, you?" he asked back, taking a step closer to me.
"Just fine," I copied his answer and chuckled, trying to hide the fact that his presence totally bothered me. "How's Aiba?" I asked then.
"Ninomiya?" he replied mockingly, and I sighed heavily."Sho.."
"It's still not too late if you choose me now," he cut me off. "I'll just forget the fact that you once left me for that guy.."
"I'm happy with him," I said confidently, and his expression changed upon hearing my words. "I have no intention to leave him, or to cheat on him for a second time.." I emphasized my words, which I could see his eyes fill with tears.
"You sure?" he asked with his cracky voice, and I nodded.
"You have Aiba now, we both have our own life.."
"It wasn't easy for me," he muttered low, massaging his temple slowly. "Masaki and you are totally different,"
"And so are Kazu and you.." I replied. "But I learned that we can't compare our partner to anyone else, or love will never spark between us.. I accept all Kazu's good and bad points, and I think you should do that too.." I said calmly, daring myself to look into Sho's eyes.
He sighed after a moment, bringing his eyes to gaze into mine.
"You seem determined,"
"Because Kazu is a good husband.. I can't find a reason why I need to leave him.. And I think Aiba is a good wife too, you should consider accepting him," I suggested hesitantly.
Sho remained silent at my words but he slowly nodded. "I guess there's nothing I can do to change your mind.." he uttered low, forcing a bitter smile.
I nodded. Sho was right, he couldn't do anything now, not when I finally could accept Kazu in my life wholeheartedly.
"Can I make one last request?" he broke the silence, pleading into my eyes.
I raised an eyebrow quizzically, wondering what kind of request that he was talking about.
"I'm going to forget you and live my life with Masaki after this, but can I kiss you for one last time?"
Kiss?
I thought I'm going to turn him down at first, but then I thought maybe this was a good opportunity to end our relationship peacefully. I finally nodded.
"JUST a kiss." I warned him.
In a split second I already have my arms around his neck and our lips were moving against each other greedily. It was passionate and I didn't think Kazu's face ever crossed my mind at that time. Sho titled my head to deepen the kiss while his another arm pulled my body closer to him. This was probably the longest kiss we ever shared together and I couldn't tell when it was going to stop. Because it felt so good.
I gasped when I felt his fingers at the front of my pants, and I pushed him away as reality came knocking my mind. We weren't in the right position to be doing all this.
"I never agree to that," I said sternly, and he looked guilty as he ran his fingers through his hair.
"I'm sorry.. I think I'm getting carried away just now.." he forced a chuckle, slapping his forehead softly.
Somehow I pitied him, but I knew nothing I could do by now. I loved Kazu and I loved my marriage. I didn't want to put those two things at stake just because I pitied Sho. Because there was no reason to it.
"I'm going back to the hall," I said low, slowly retreating myself towards the door.
"We can still be friends right?"
His words made my pace halted, and I flashed him a wide smile as I turned around to face him. "If you insist.." I replied playfully, and walked out without spending any more seconds with him.
I returned to my table and just realized that I spent too much time in the restroom when Kazu gave me this unreadable look. But I could tell somehow. He looked scared, unsure and insecure especially when he saw Sho walked in and sat back on the next table. It was as if he was about to cry, and I knew perfectly what was in his mind.
I reached for his fingers on his lap and squeezed them gently, assuring him that there was nothing to be worried about. Yes, we kissed, but that's just it and it was for a last time. I didn't think I have even a slightest regret that our relationship ended.
But Kazu was still looking down to his lap, looking helpless, inconvinced and troubled. I sighed as I shifted my chair closer to him, cupping his face and drove him into a kiss half-forcingly yet gently without taking into account that we were in the middle of a ceremony. I needed to wash away his doubts and worry, that was what important now.
"Nothing has changed, Kazu.. I'm still yours.." I whispered softly while caressing his face, and smiled as I saw him smiling in relieved.
"Thanks Satoshi.." he replied happily, pulling me closer to him by my nape and pecked me on my lips tenderly.
I blushed slightly at his sudden action, and quickly slapped his fingers away when they made their way down to my thigh naughtily. Kazu laughed contently and I couldn't help but to feel at ease upon seeing his cheerful face.
At that time I knew I have choosen the right path. Because being with Ninomiya Kazunari alone was enough to make me the happiest man in the world.
---END---
I haven't post anything in a very long time, so I just met this stupid LJ's settings and I'm damn annoyed with it.. -.-'
Okay put it aside, please tell me what you think about this people! ^_^