(no subject)
"working 15 hours a day turns you into a hard, cold, sonofabitch."
he said it with urgent disdain in his voice as his crestfallen young girlfriend weeped in shame on the other end of the phone.
"you have it so good. what i wouldn't give to work 8 hours a day and then come home and study." he scolded.
"i'm sorry. that's all i know." she managed to push out, trying to hide the tears in her voice. she knew he would only get more upset if he knew she were crying, but it was her only natural reaction to the sadness and pain she had no logical explanation for. she was failing a class she needed to graduate on account of her own laziness and inability to adjust and concentrate. she longed to be loved and touched and adored like all her friends were by their respective male companions, but could not bring herself to break the fidelity she prided herself on in her newly refurbished relationship. she kept the constant hope that he'd be back in her mind, but her sorrow quickly and quietly drowned that hope daily. she longed for an honest companion. she longed attention. she longed for whatever she could get. she could have had it all. she could have taken a gamble on someone else. someone richer, nicer, sweeter. but she didn't. she stayed with the one who had always been by her side, even when he was miles and miles away.
as lauded as she was by her friends, she never could understand why she always felt swept under the rug. she was always the third wheel due to her lack of a local boyfriend.
"customers are here. i gotta go." he broke in through her whining song of woe-is-me. she always found herself mocking her own actions and wondering whether or not he had found someone better or if he secretly hated her. all were logical explanations in her mind. she wouldn't feel the slightest bit offended if they were true, either. he complained that she was always depressed and was never happy. she simply longed to have a normal conversation. she longed for sympathy and compliments and all the other wonderful things that boyfriends are expected to give to their girlfriends. but her confidence shattered when she threw her problems out in the open only to be crushed by the wheels of the pity train. someone always had it worse than her and that someone was always her boyfriend.
and honestly, he really did. she never doubted that he had it worse. she just kind of wished he didn't. but all emotion was lost from his voice. only the hard exoskelton of the man she loved remained. an autonomous robot without a soul working a job he hated with people he hated with little freedoms and no rest. he constantly reminded her he was doing this for their future and for her. she secretly wished he would drop it all and come back home. she would rather work the rest of the life and live in the lower class and be happy than to wait and wait on her heart to finally break and for him to finally get his rich break.
"would it be worth it?" she thought.
she had no inspiration to be herself knowing just how long it would be until she felt loved again. she knew he would miss all the things she thought were important to her in her last year of high school. things he knew would never really matter in the long run, but things all the same that high school girls hold in high regard.
she had only been 18 for a day. what did she know about life anyway...