When Parents Get Old...

[salenelle]

This is about parents who are kind of losing their threads. Come bill-paying time, Mom has new and exciting ways of paying bills each month; she likes the variety. Familiarity, after all, breeds contempt. Sometimes the bills are late, sometimes they are forgotten altogether. Sometimes she wants to be driven to the bank to pay them, sometimes she

Comments

[tuscendi]

I know, I know. My mother always took fine and dandy care of her own affairs, but the time came when she'd fret for hours because she couldn't balance her checkbook. And we're talking about a very simple account, minimal money, few checks. So I started doing that stuff. Then she started getting paranoid and suspected I was stealing her money. THEN it got HARD to be calm and understanding and kind, and I lost it more than once. It was awful, unanticipated, and I was unprepared.

Now I know that this kind of thing is not at all unusual with the aged. When I find myself getting even dottier than I am now, I hope to be able to find some individual--not a family member--who will do this stuff for me. Ideally, a disinterested and nonthreatening third party should take over such functions, but we don't all have that luxury, do we.

Best wishes that this will go smoothly for you once you set up the online account.

[salenelle]

Thank you for your input. It's a tough thing, but we're already on her bank accounts and stuff. It would be so easy to take from her, and she would have no memory of it. I believe in Karma and bad stuff coming back to bite you in the ass, so no matter how much I need her money more than she does, I stay honest and sleep the sleep of the innocent. Besides, when I am in trouble, she helps me all the time. I want her to trust me and if I am to carry the burden of her bills and stuff, then I'd prefer we can do it my way so it's not a great inconvenience for ANY of us. Sometimes my mom feels like a part-time job. Sometimes, a full-time job.