well this pisses me off.ex_prezrober685April 2 2003, 10:43:53 UTC
so not bad.
only question I have is that I lost perspective in the second stanza with the use of "your"... I think it's the same "your" from the first stanza but I'm unsure because of topic changes in the subject/verb agreement... Is that correct?
Re: well this pisses me off.ex_prezrober685April 3 2003, 05:23:52 UTC
you clarified the "you" and lost the accusatory nature of the opening lines. Interesting choices on revising, seems to have removed the spite of the previous version... while I don't agree with the poem... it's humbling to see the emotional imbalance this subject has with you (at the very least while you were writing). It's like you sacrificed clarity for spitting something out on the page that had you all the rage... if that makes sense.
Comments 3
only question I have is that I lost perspective in the second stanza with the use of "your"... I think it's the same "your" from the first stanza but I'm unsure because of topic changes in the subject/verb agreement... Is that correct?
R.
Reply
Reply
<3
Reply
Leave a comment