Painting inexplicable kanji and pronouncing every word like Latin
Si salves, salveo
Let that be known, but where are you?
I'm gearing up for sighs like steam pipes
or screams behind paper thin walls.
For the time being I'll bite into oranges laced with nails.
Si salves, salveo
Or if you're well, I'm well.
Fun thoughts of trains and windows
and how you don't want to fall asleep
for the hope of seeing something
something with purpose and intention,
motives and aims.
Keep me in the barrel
never fire,
or is there even a hand to pull the trigger?
--------
After discussing things with my parents I've decided I need to find a new job. The cafe itself isn't so bad, I like the people and the atmosphere (despite the lack of a functioning air conditioner). The issue has turned out to be money. I was on the fence about keeping the job until my dad told me I was going months at a time paying either the better of my rent or all of it without any outside help. Thinking about the costs of the utilities and New York City on top of the rent is immense, but thinking about my mindset towards money at the time...I could go places and not even have to think about how much anything cost, I could tip waiters/waitresses well and cute waitresses better, movies and books were no problem, 90% of small purchases I didn't even bother to check the price...how was I doing all that? Oh, right, crud hours at Rockets. Still, the money there was bountiful. And the fact that it was months I was going completely alone, that's what got me.
The Rockets crew threw a party on the first (coincidentally the first day of my working there one year prior). Very nice to see them, May in particular was ecstatic; we spent a large amount of time catching up. It was saddening a little, to see all the people who kept me sane when I was at the lowest I had been for a longlonglong time. But we're all still in touch. May's having a BBQ sometime in August and I'm seeing other Rockets people here and there. Now we're friends, not coworkers.
I'm still so fucking single.
Summer classes are starting Wednesday. My mom wants me to catch up to the class of '12 after taking that semester off which wouldn't be too bad an idea. She really want to see me get handed a diploma, she refuses to admit it but she does. It's a justification on her part, that she raised a child to go through all the motions of higher education and succeed.
Abby is my little sister and she's super cute.
Si salves, salveo
and how empty life is to hear nothing.
Let that be known, but where are you?
I'm gearing up for sighs like steam pipes
or screams behind paper thin walls.
For the time being I'll bite into oranges laced with nails.
Si salves, salveo
Or if you're well, I'm well.
Fun thoughts of trains and windows
and how you don't want to fall asleep
for the hope of seeing something
something with purpose and intention,
motives and aims.
Keep me in the barrel
never fire,
or is there even a hand to pull the trigger?
--------
After discussing things with my parents I've decided I need to find a new job. The cafe itself isn't so bad, I like the people and the atmosphere (despite the lack of a functioning air conditioner). The issue has turned out to be money. I was on the fence about keeping the job until my dad told me I was going months at a time paying either the better of my rent or all of it without any outside help. Thinking about the costs of the utilities and New York City on top of the rent is immense, but thinking about my mindset towards money at the time...I could go places and not even have to think about how much anything cost, I could tip waiters/waitresses well and cute waitresses better, movies and books were no problem, 90% of small purchases I didn't even bother to check the price...how was I doing all that? Oh, right, crud hours at Rockets. Still, the money there was bountiful. And the fact that it was months I was going completely alone, that's what got me.
The Rockets crew threw a party on the first (coincidentally the first day of my working there one year prior). Very nice to see them, May in particular was ecstatic; we spent a large amount of time catching up. It was saddening a little, to see all the people who kept me sane when I was at the lowest I had been for a longlonglong time. But we're all still in touch. May's having a BBQ sometime in August and I'm seeing other Rockets people here and there. Now we're friends, not coworkers.
I'm still so fucking single.
Summer classes are starting Wednesday. My mom wants me to catch up to the class of '12 after taking that semester off which wouldn't be too bad an idea. She really want to see me get handed a diploma, she refuses to admit it but she does. It's a justification on her part, that she raised a child to go through all the motions of higher education and succeed.
Abby is my little sister and she's super cute.
Si salves, salveo
and how empty life is to hear nothing.