Worked on a some of positives over the last couple of days. You know, expecting to build forward as Sam believed we should. We, (Nadara, Craig and I) did a geocaching hike. Look it up if you don't know. Sam thought we were crazy, but loved the free access to the computer while we would be out hiking all day. Anyway, we made that attempt to return ( Read more... )

I can't believe how long it has been since I last posted. Individual days seem to stagger slowly forward, yet the calendar evaporates across the weeks. Still no excuse to hide my feelings in the protected isolation of home. I had planned to share the steps and struggles and the expected victories related to this life fracturing . . . Don't even ( Read more... )

I keep thinking I'll be posting here, however there are still so many things I have to keep doing. Yet the emotional emptiness swirls into overload and back again to a vast pale horizon of dripping fog. Dealing with that kind of mental and emotional state means that the "real" things in life get done very slowly ( Read more... )

Suddenly it has been 53 days. The ride has been really rough. Sometimes I wasn't sure I could make it, other times I didn't care if I did. As it closes in on eight weeks, it is not getting better. I'm nearly dehydrated just from the tears. Still to many things that used to be normal, now seem to be obstacles or just a waste of time. I don't even ( Read more... )

Parts of each day seem to work pretty well. Most of the day just slides by unnoticed, a dull empty thickness of time. Even that I can manage ( Read more... )

I'm not sure why today was so emotional. . . May have been that I finished the photo collage for the MIT Museum display. Why are so many things this bitter-sweet? I'm very pleased with how it all turned out, but I should not need to be doing so. Sometimes it is just to much ( Read more... )

Now I know why Sam so wanted better tech. After the last few days on campus at MIT, her holy grail of education, that desire is fully understood. Still, with her tenacity she would have found a way to keep linked. I just wandered around in baffled amazement ( Read more... )

A very melancholy day. So many things bring Sam to mind and heart and then the tears flow again. So much to do to be ready for Sam's trip to MIT. It is far from easy to go on her behalf, however knowing how much this meant to her keeps me moving forward. With that thought I'll post the last piece of "Suddenly Life Changes". And I will return to ( Read more... )

OK, enough of the dramatics. Yes, the weekend was a tremendous drain. Saturday was spent with a group of Sam's friends. Many others were with us in spirit and hope even as they strained to conquer the SAT test. Sam was also scheduled for the test. Suddenly Life Changes ( Read more... )

Needed a night off last night. My wife and I tried to watch a movie, but it is still hard. It is really strange to sit in our chairs and not hear the constant clickity-click of the keyboard. It has been a whole month of "just yesterdays". Tonight, back to "Suddenly Life Changes". I pick up with a new growing perspective of who Sam was in the ( Read more... )