Smirnoff Ice, "Relative Values", and "Demolition Man"
So I had a cherry lime Smirnoff Ice yesterday.
It was delicious, but really no different than having a cherry limeade Crystal Light be-ver-age (hoity-toity accent totally implied there), so I'm not sure what the point was.
Also, Crystal Light doesn't require a license. Or more than a few bucks. (Well, it might, but then you're getting a lot of bang (bev?) for your buck. So.
I also re-arranged my room, whoo-hoo.
It was time, I think, after 6 months.
My maternal unit is still bitching at me about having too much stuff.
(Then when I get rid of a shitton of stuff, she goes "Why are you getting rid of all this?" or "Wow, that's a lot of stuff!", etc, etc, etc.)
(Also, I used to have an entire apartment to myself, to spread out in. Yes, I do have a moderately large amount of stuff, but really.)
(Also when you hit the age of maturity, whether that be 16 or 18 or 21 or 26 or 52, you do not automaticallly keep a clean house/room. This was a rather hard lesson to swallow, somewhat akin to those horsepills they try to say are "good for you"...)
On to movie reviews.
I might slow down a bit after this, because today (1/1/12) was the deadline for most of the movies to expire, and without motivation, I just go back and watch the same old shit.
Low-class: "Demolition Man" (1993)
Sylvester Stallone plays himself, Wesley Snipes plays himself, a bit more crazy than normal, and Sandra Bullock is the naif.
Plot: Cryostasis has been perfected by some point in the early 90s, so bad guys are frozen and have "rehab programs" put through their heads. (Whatever, right?)
Snipes (Phoenix) plays a psychotic bad guy, Stallone the cop who's constantly blowing things up (but also saving the day). Stallone (Spartan) stumbles into Snipes' trap and gets frozen right along with the bad guy.
For whatever reason, Phoenix is up for parole before Spartan (WTF, right?) and he's even crazier than before. Breaks out, but 30+ years have passed and now San Angeles (~4 of the cities in the LA area, including LA) is crime-free. I guess it's implied that the entire world is crime-free? Yeah, whatever.
Phoenix goes on a killing spree, and the cops of the time are less-than less-than effective. Like zero-point effective.
So they defrost Spartan to stop Phoenix.
(Have you guessed that Phoenix is part of a conspiracy plot? Good, cookie for you. If not, he was, and he was brainwashed into killing a dude.)
Action, strange cultural references and weirdness ensue, including wondering uncomfortably for half the movie if Bullock (Lenina Huxley) is supposed to be Spartan's daughter. (UST, people, except then it becomes RST, we assume.)
Denis O'Leary is also in it, but sort of useless, etc.
Okay, overall? 2.5 or 3 stars. It was a comedy-action movie, but I don't really like Stallone that much (he seems too much of a twat for me) and I only really like Snipes as Blade.
This movie is (moderately) notable for having Bullock and Benjamin Bratt star(-ish) together almost 10 years before "Miss Congeniality" got them together again.
I don't really recommend it, mostly because the silly/cultural bits don't outweigh the ridiculousness of the plot and the stone-face that is Stallone. ("Stone-face" Stallone has a rather nice ring to it, don't you think?)
On the other hand was the enjoyable "Relative Values" (2000), based on the Noel Coward play of the same name.
Noel Coward wrote some enjoyable "comed[ies] of manners", and after enjoying "Easy Virtue" (2008, I think) with Jessica Biel, Colin Firth, and Ben Barnes, I figured I would enjoy "Relative Values", and I was correct.
I like many types of movies/tv shows, but "Relative Values" is about a few specific things on my list.
1. Comedy of Manners (especially when no-one is especially mean, just flamboyant/dramatic/etc
2. Excellent actors (Colin Firth and Julie Andrews in the same movie! And STEPHEN FRY, who is god and y'all should bow down before him.)
3. A period piece that incorporates (to great effect) the "Upstairs, Downstairs" mentality (servants vs lairds/ladies)
Other things that fall into this last general category are episodes of "Doctor Who" (The Unicorn and the Wasp springs to mind), anything Agatha Christie, the magnificent "Downton Abbey", anything Sherlock Holmes (that isn't Sherlock BBC), "Gosford Park", and of course, "Upstairs, Downstairs".
(Sherlock Holmes, the Agatha mysteries and Doctor Who all tend towards more period pieces than the servants/lairds mentality.)
Movie review:
Don Lucas and Miranda Frayle have a crazy showmance (totally lifted from this fanfic, o god, I'm not even halfway through yet, does this mean there will be angst?) that we are supposed to believe is "twoo wove", but who knows.
Anyway, they fall out of love (?) and then Miranda ends up engaged to an earl, played by none other than Edward Atterton, known to most of us (my guess is that if you're reading this, you're one of us) as Atherton Wing, the righteous ponce who tried to buy Inara's affections in the extra-special episode of "Firefly", Shindig. (One wonders if his name in-show sprang from his name IRL...)
He's okay, I guess, but he doesn't really seem to have range.
No, the best in this movie is exactly who you'd expect (and one you might not): Julie Andrews (the lady of the house: dowager duchess, I believe the term is), Colin Firth (the nephew/cousin, who is described as "bourbon-soaked", and with good reason), Stephen Fry (the butler, in the grand Tim Curry tradition, and AMAZE-BALLS) and Sophie Thompson, sister of Emma Thompson, and just as gifted, acting-wise. She's wonderfully over-the-top, in the best possible way.
Saved and will add more in a bit. Firefox is leaking memory AGAIN, brb.
It was a bit distracting that the two main lovebirds looked like someone else; Jeanne Tripplehorn looks like Marcia Gay Harden/Katharine Hepburn, and William Baldwin looks like a Baldwin brother. Sort of like Alec, if Alec was thin.
But the fact that Colin Firth (Peter, iirc) was mocking lots of things (basically, someone would say something pretentious, then Peter would be mocking it in the corner) and making besties with Don Lucas (lolarious when Atterton's character got pissed about it) and making eyes at Stephen Fry. But really, who wouldn't make eyes at Stephen Fry?
And Julie Andrews is very self-assured and nice, really. Sort of like how she was in "The Princess Diaries".
But really, the best part was Colin Firth making eyes at Stephen Fry, and Stephen Fry basically saying, with no words whatsoever, just with his acting and slight mocking mouth uptick, that he accepted and understood but would not be making any move whatsoever, at this point or ever.
YES I'M IN LOVE WITH STEPHEN FRY.
BUT AT LEAST I'M PERSON ENOUGH TO ADMIT I'M HIS BITCH.
(Ponderable: if you were Stephen Fry's bitch, there'd be a very good chance you would spend a moderate amount of time with HUGH LAURIE (they are besties IRL) and/or DAVID BOREANAZ (Stephen Fry is Gordon Gordon, shrink-turned-chef on "Bones") and/or EMMA THOMPSON, who is amazing and just awesome, and/or ROBERT DOWNEY JR (he was Mycroft in the most recent SH movie), and/or CARRIE FISHER (he's good friends with her). Also, he's a major Holmesian/Sherlockian, incredibly intelligent, was friends with Douglas Adams and has done stuff in that fandom, is an Apple fanboy, and LOVES DOCTOR WHO. Seriously, who's lining up behind me for a platonic marriage to this guy? Also? He was in "V for Vendetta", basically as himself; also, he's the narrator of the British version of Harry Potter audiobooks (SOOOO much better than the US version) and he was Chess (the Cheshire Cat) in "Alice in Wonderland".)
Okay, I'm done.
(Is this how one proves one is ace? Admire a person from afar (a celebrity, an author, an historical figure or what-have-you) and then proceed to outline you would hang out with them but really have no designs on their person? Just think they'd be fun to pal around with, etc.? Dunno.)
Also, might start a Futurama Guide for Puny Humans (FuGuPH?).
Seems the thing to do, anyway, and SG-1 is ENTIRELY too long. (~220 episodes, give or take. ~22 eps/season, 10 seasons = ~220 eps)
Not treading new waters, but still.
Anyway, I should be abed, but I'm not, so I will toddle off to dreamland.
It was delicious, but really no different than having a cherry limeade Crystal Light be-ver-age (hoity-toity accent totally implied there), so I'm not sure what the point was.
Also, Crystal Light doesn't require a license. Or more than a few bucks. (Well, it might, but then you're getting a lot of bang (bev?) for your buck. So.
I also re-arranged my room, whoo-hoo.
It was time, I think, after 6 months.
My maternal unit is still bitching at me about having too much stuff.
(Then when I get rid of a shitton of stuff, she goes "Why are you getting rid of all this?" or "Wow, that's a lot of stuff!", etc, etc, etc.)
(Also, I used to have an entire apartment to myself, to spread out in. Yes, I do have a moderately large amount of stuff, but really.)
(Also when you hit the age of maturity, whether that be 16 or 18 or 21 or 26 or 52, you do not automaticallly keep a clean house/room. This was a rather hard lesson to swallow, somewhat akin to those horsepills they try to say are "good for you"...)
On to movie reviews.
I might slow down a bit after this, because today (1/1/12) was the deadline for most of the movies to expire, and without motivation, I just go back and watch the same old shit.
Low-class: "Demolition Man" (1993)
Sylvester Stallone plays himself, Wesley Snipes plays himself, a bit more crazy than normal, and Sandra Bullock is the naif.
Plot: Cryostasis has been perfected by some point in the early 90s, so bad guys are frozen and have "rehab programs" put through their heads. (Whatever, right?)
Snipes (Phoenix) plays a psychotic bad guy, Stallone the cop who's constantly blowing things up (but also saving the day). Stallone (Spartan) stumbles into Snipes' trap and gets frozen right along with the bad guy.
For whatever reason, Phoenix is up for parole before Spartan (WTF, right?) and he's even crazier than before. Breaks out, but 30+ years have passed and now San Angeles (~4 of the cities in the LA area, including LA) is crime-free. I guess it's implied that the entire world is crime-free? Yeah, whatever.
Phoenix goes on a killing spree, and the cops of the time are less-than less-than effective. Like zero-point effective.
So they defrost Spartan to stop Phoenix.
(Have you guessed that Phoenix is part of a conspiracy plot? Good, cookie for you. If not, he was, and he was brainwashed into killing a dude.)
Action, strange cultural references and weirdness ensue, including wondering uncomfortably for half the movie if Bullock (Lenina Huxley) is supposed to be Spartan's daughter. (UST, people, except then it becomes RST, we assume.)
Denis O'Leary is also in it, but sort of useless, etc.
Okay, overall? 2.5 or 3 stars. It was a comedy-action movie, but I don't really like Stallone that much (he seems too much of a twat for me) and I only really like Snipes as Blade.
This movie is (moderately) notable for having Bullock and Benjamin Bratt star(-ish) together almost 10 years before "Miss Congeniality" got them together again.
I don't really recommend it, mostly because the silly/cultural bits don't outweigh the ridiculousness of the plot and the stone-face that is Stallone. ("Stone-face" Stallone has a rather nice ring to it, don't you think?)
On the other hand was the enjoyable "Relative Values" (2000), based on the Noel Coward play of the same name.
Noel Coward wrote some enjoyable "comed[ies] of manners", and after enjoying "Easy Virtue" (2008, I think) with Jessica Biel, Colin Firth, and Ben Barnes, I figured I would enjoy "Relative Values", and I was correct.
I like many types of movies/tv shows, but "Relative Values" is about a few specific things on my list.
1. Comedy of Manners (especially when no-one is especially mean, just flamboyant/dramatic/etc
2. Excellent actors (Colin Firth and Julie Andrews in the same movie! And STEPHEN FRY, who is god and y'all should bow down before him.)
3. A period piece that incorporates (to great effect) the "Upstairs, Downstairs" mentality (servants vs lairds/ladies)
Other things that fall into this last general category are episodes of "Doctor Who" (The Unicorn and the Wasp springs to mind), anything Agatha Christie, the magnificent "Downton Abbey", anything Sherlock Holmes (that isn't Sherlock BBC), "Gosford Park", and of course, "Upstairs, Downstairs".
(Sherlock Holmes, the Agatha mysteries and Doctor Who all tend towards more period pieces than the servants/lairds mentality.)
Movie review:
Don Lucas and Miranda Frayle have a crazy showmance (totally lifted from this fanfic, o god, I'm not even halfway through yet, does this mean there will be angst?) that we are supposed to believe is "twoo wove", but who knows.
Anyway, they fall out of love (?) and then Miranda ends up engaged to an earl, played by none other than Edward Atterton, known to most of us (my guess is that if you're reading this, you're one of us) as Atherton Wing, the righteous ponce who tried to buy Inara's affections in the extra-special episode of "Firefly", Shindig. (One wonders if his name in-show sprang from his name IRL...)
He's okay, I guess, but he doesn't really seem to have range.
No, the best in this movie is exactly who you'd expect (and one you might not): Julie Andrews (the lady of the house: dowager duchess, I believe the term is), Colin Firth (the nephew/cousin, who is described as "bourbon-soaked", and with good reason), Stephen Fry (the butler, in the grand Tim Curry tradition, and AMAZE-BALLS) and Sophie Thompson, sister of Emma Thompson, and just as gifted, acting-wise. She's wonderfully over-the-top, in the best possible way.
Saved and will add more in a bit. Firefox is leaking memory AGAIN, brb.
It was a bit distracting that the two main lovebirds looked like someone else; Jeanne Tripplehorn looks like Marcia Gay Harden/Katharine Hepburn, and William Baldwin looks like a Baldwin brother. Sort of like Alec, if Alec was thin.
But the fact that Colin Firth (Peter, iirc) was mocking lots of things (basically, someone would say something pretentious, then Peter would be mocking it in the corner) and making besties with Don Lucas (lolarious when Atterton's character got pissed about it) and making eyes at Stephen Fry. But really, who wouldn't make eyes at Stephen Fry?
And Julie Andrews is very self-assured and nice, really. Sort of like how she was in "The Princess Diaries".
But really, the best part was Colin Firth making eyes at Stephen Fry, and Stephen Fry basically saying, with no words whatsoever, just with his acting and slight mocking mouth uptick, that he accepted and understood but would not be making any move whatsoever, at this point or ever.
YES I'M IN LOVE WITH STEPHEN FRY.
BUT AT LEAST I'M PERSON ENOUGH TO ADMIT I'M HIS BITCH.
(Ponderable: if you were Stephen Fry's bitch, there'd be a very good chance you would spend a moderate amount of time with HUGH LAURIE (they are besties IRL) and/or DAVID BOREANAZ (Stephen Fry is Gordon Gordon, shrink-turned-chef on "Bones") and/or EMMA THOMPSON, who is amazing and just awesome, and/or ROBERT DOWNEY JR (he was Mycroft in the most recent SH movie), and/or CARRIE FISHER (he's good friends with her). Also, he's a major Holmesian/Sherlockian, incredibly intelligent, was friends with Douglas Adams and has done stuff in that fandom, is an Apple fanboy, and LOVES DOCTOR WHO. Seriously, who's lining up behind me for a platonic marriage to this guy? Also? He was in "V for Vendetta", basically as himself; also, he's the narrator of the British version of Harry Potter audiobooks (SOOOO much better than the US version) and he was Chess (the Cheshire Cat) in "Alice in Wonderland".)
Okay, I'm done.
(Is this how one proves one is ace? Admire a person from afar (a celebrity, an author, an historical figure or what-have-you) and then proceed to outline you would hang out with them but really have no designs on their person? Just think they'd be fun to pal around with, etc.? Dunno.)
Also, might start a Futurama Guide for Puny Humans (FuGuPH?).
Seems the thing to do, anyway, and SG-1 is ENTIRELY too long. (~220 episodes, give or take. ~22 eps/season, 10 seasons = ~220 eps)
Not treading new waters, but still.
Anyway, I should be abed, but I'm not, so I will toddle off to dreamland.