Reading that paper again.
After a week of dodging pretty much everything but work and a day of trying to rest flat on the sofa with a fat book, I've finally managed to pick up some papers again.
Now, this isn't a joyful experience, as you may have guessed ;-).
But in a way, it seems to reconnect me to reality and make me feel like a member of society again.
During my week of commuting, I have merged with this army of ants running for trains and buses. Wondering about the lives they lead. On the routes I was using, most seemed to be a lot better off than I am, lowly workers only joining out in the boonies (that site is located next to a large fright terminal). At my first station, I could see into several new and shiny office buildings, where most ants were just entering their cubicles, placing their coffee-mugs on tables, starting up machines and hanging up suit jackets. Ten hours later, there they were still, glued to their screens...
I'm sure they all drive fancy cars and might even have houses somewhere out in the landscape (which will mean driving to and fro for another hour twice a day). They dress nicely, look perfectly groomed and generally give off an air of success - or whatever counts for such these days. But: Can all this really be worth it...?
Because you see, reading my papers, informing myself about the bigger picture, trying to grasp the interrelations of local and global decisions and catastrophes - this is what makes me feel like a useful and worthy member of the human race. Very much more so than going to work for some STUPID outfit of capitalists, doing my bit in destroying our environment and cluttering up our space with useless trash in the process.
Silly? Well, can't be helped. I've been raised that way. And I do realise I'm some sort of dinosaur in that respect. New generations will have to learn to "know their station" all over again. Thinking and paying attention to political and /or economical mechanics is not for the lower 80%. They won't find the time for it, anyway. And it seems that they're quite happy with their lot, at least as long as they get to decorate their existence with the latest high-end consumer goods.
No wonder democracy is dying a slow, silent death all around us...
I am getting more and more convinced that I want no part of this. Don't even want to witness it. Am having a hard time understanding why anyone would want to.
I am of course aware of my absolute uselessness in this bigger picture. All that remains is being a beneficial influence for those close around me. I'll be trying for this as long as reality lets me. But I'm not really prepared to live on just out of some morbid curiosity ;-).
Now, this isn't a joyful experience, as you may have guessed ;-).
But in a way, it seems to reconnect me to reality and make me feel like a member of society again.
During my week of commuting, I have merged with this army of ants running for trains and buses. Wondering about the lives they lead. On the routes I was using, most seemed to be a lot better off than I am, lowly workers only joining out in the boonies (that site is located next to a large fright terminal). At my first station, I could see into several new and shiny office buildings, where most ants were just entering their cubicles, placing their coffee-mugs on tables, starting up machines and hanging up suit jackets. Ten hours later, there they were still, glued to their screens...
I'm sure they all drive fancy cars and might even have houses somewhere out in the landscape (which will mean driving to and fro for another hour twice a day). They dress nicely, look perfectly groomed and generally give off an air of success - or whatever counts for such these days. But: Can all this really be worth it...?
Because you see, reading my papers, informing myself about the bigger picture, trying to grasp the interrelations of local and global decisions and catastrophes - this is what makes me feel like a useful and worthy member of the human race. Very much more so than going to work for some STUPID outfit of capitalists, doing my bit in destroying our environment and cluttering up our space with useless trash in the process.
Silly? Well, can't be helped. I've been raised that way. And I do realise I'm some sort of dinosaur in that respect. New generations will have to learn to "know their station" all over again. Thinking and paying attention to political and /or economical mechanics is not for the lower 80%. They won't find the time for it, anyway. And it seems that they're quite happy with their lot, at least as long as they get to decorate their existence with the latest high-end consumer goods.
No wonder democracy is dying a slow, silent death all around us...
I am getting more and more convinced that I want no part of this. Don't even want to witness it. Am having a hard time understanding why anyone would want to.
I am of course aware of my absolute uselessness in this bigger picture. All that remains is being a beneficial influence for those close around me. I'll be trying for this as long as reality lets me. But I'm not really prepared to live on just out of some morbid curiosity ;-).