Honesty is such lonely word

[sammisnake]

  I haven't been being honest, not to the people who care about me. Truth is, ever since I got the news that the cancer was , for the moment at least, stopped in it's tracks, I have been feeling so much worse

Comments

[sheherazahde]

Oh Sammi! I love you and I'm so sorry you are in pain. I wish I was physically able to help you. You are such a giving person you deserve to be given to.

I looked up Hidradenitis suppurativa and what a painful and frustrating condition!

I hope they can do something for your pain.

Your comment about "what God gives you" reminded me of Tig Notaro. But you know what's nice about all of this is that you can always rest assured that God never gives you more than you can handle. Never. Never. When you've had it, God goes "All right, that's it."
I just keep picturing God going, "You know what, I think she can take a little more." And then the angels are standing back going, "God, what are you doing? You are out of your mind." And God was like, "No, no, no, I really think she can handle this."

[sammisnake]

I heard that, and yeah, I agree 100%! It really was the attitude we were brought up with, though-and knowing what my Mom went through in her life- from losing her Mom at age 9, and suddenly being thrown into "Mommy" mode at that age, to losing her first baby to inefficient medical care at 10 months, when she was barely 17, all the trials of the Depression, and her brother being taken captive during WWII, and being told he was dead, and all the trials and tribulations of raising 7 very intelligent, independant, and bull-headed children, and my Dad with his explosive temper....SHE never had to resort to anti-depressants, but she sure prayed alot. I guess that was what got here through...I often wish it would work for me! For good or bad, my faith is mostly in myself and my fellow humans, and the response I've gotten to this post has re-affirmed my faith!

[sheherazahde]

Hi, Sammi

[sammisnake]

Thanks, Timi. I know you would help if you could. A friend of mine told me something similar; she reminded me how helpless it can make you feel to see someone you care about going through difficulties and not be able to help. By asking for and accepting their help, they can feel they are doing something, so, as you say, we are giving them a gift. BUT- you still have to admit we were raised to be the GIVERS, not the TAKERS, right? ;0

[bloodsong1]

If I wasn't in Data Monkey I would be there tomorrow! Speaking of, it's being really weird this peak, we might be done sooner then expected and then I will be able to come up and help you.

As soon as I'm free, I'll call and we'll make arrangements.

[sammisnake]

Like I said on the phone, not for a few weeks, unless you want to come weed the garden while I'm gone! Thanks, though- I'm so glad you are willing to help. You are a special friend!