Compromising (NC-17)
Title: Compromising
Authors: ripsgirl and giina
Pairing: David Tennant/Shannyn Sossamon
Rating: NC-17
Summary: An evening that starts with anger ends with a compromise.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Nothing is meant to be implied about the real David Tennant or Shannyn Sossamon. Absolutely no truth to it whatsoever. Made it all up.
*****
In the end they hadn't done much talking at the club. Not Talking. Just catching up, really, eating and drinking and catching up, followed by more sex. And then David had had to go, as he had a 6 am call and realised that if he didn't leave now he'd be there all night.
All of which means that there is still serious talking to be done, the Whys and the What Nows which hung between them like the proverbial elephant in the room. So David gets in some wine, and despite not getting home 'til 8 pm, whips up a thai green curry and has rice cooking when Shannyn's cab pulls up outside at 8.30.
"Hey, you," he says, pulling her into his arms when at last the door closes behind them.
It's almost an automatic reaction, no thought required, to reward David with a brief but heartfelt kiss as he bundles her up against him. This sort of casual intimacy comes easily, and Shannyn clings to the moment, knowing that tonight's chat wouldn't go as smoothly as last night's. Rejection and hurt are never ideal topics of discussion. So she delays it more, sliding past him toward the kitchen. "God, that smells good. I hope you made enough."
"I'm cut to the quick that you doubt me," David says, following her and clutching his chest dramatically. They make small talk, chit-chat about their day while David serves out rice and curry. He's set two places at the table, at right angles to each other rather than opposite, as he wants to be able to touch her. There's difficult, unspoken things to discuss; he's still not much clearer about the future, and so has no idea how this is going to go. "Have a seat," he says, setting bowls on the table.
They both settle in, legs brushing and tangling together underneath the tabletop. David's watchful gaze seems to follow her every move as they tuck into their food, and the room feels warmer than it had a moment ago. Shannyn had almost forgotten David's culinary abilities, and she tells him so, an underhanded compliment rewarded with a heart-stopping smile. She leans into that smile like a plant to sunshine, and with a smile of her own says, "Coming to London was a good idea."
David's got his fork in one hand, the fingertips of the other hand stroking the inside of Shannyn's arm. "You could have easily come over and not got in touch... I'm glad you did." He can't stop looking at her and touching her, as if he can't really believe she's here.
Her gaze drops back to her plate. Damn, but she hates this lingering weight, the feeling of words unspoken. It would be so much easier to crack a joke, change the subject, grab David's shirt and make him whisper every dirty, debauched thing he wants her to do to him... Shannyn eats another forkful to stop her thoughts. She may not want to talk, but she needs it. "I almost didn't." She looks at him. "An email was the safest route I could think of."
"So you're here, you came, you got in touch." David swallows food and then takes a swig of wine for good measure. "Does this mean you're... Well. You know." He waves his fork as if this will assist him in making his meaning clear. "Back?"
"Back?" Shannyn repeats, face clouding with confusion. "Back here, in London?" she asks tentatively.
"I meant..." David takes her hand and kisses it, rubbing it against his cheek as he talks. He's almost afraid to say it, afraid of what the answer will be. "Back with me."
The light stubble on his cheek scratches the back of her hand, delicious little bits of friction that zing up her arm. "I love you, almost more that anything," the words slipping through the barest of smiles, just because she can't not say the words without them affecting her expression. "But we've an ocean in the way," Shannyn says, regret and more than a little bitterness underpinning her voice.
David's heart sinks. "Because you allowed it to be," he says, letting go of her hand. "So why did you get in touch, then? So I can keep you entertained while you're here?" He wants to yell the words at her, but instead keeps his voice and demeanour calm. No point letting her know how much this is affecting him. David leans back in his chair and picks up his wine glass, looking steadily at Shannyn.
His calmness adds to the hurt she feels at his words, and Shannyn throws her napkin off her lap. "Because I allowed it to be?" She bites out the question, letting her anger get the best of her, because if she doesn't, she'll cry, and that's unacceptable. "I didn't see you offer to move halfway 'round the world. No, you just demanded it of me."
Shannyn's anger empowers David, and he finds it easier to stay calm. "Right," he says, nodding and raising an eyebrow. "So it wasn't enough for me to say that if it wasn't for this job I have I'd be over there? Because that was how I felt. Feel. Should I have signed for another year of this once-in-a-lifetime job, or should I have jacked it all in to be with you? I'm still not sure what huge thing it was that stopped you from saying yes to me." He's angry again now, and stands, shoving his chair back and walking over to the sink, throwing his empty bowl in. "Other than the fact that you didn't want to, of course."
There. It's out. He's weakened his position by showing his true feelings, but it's good to say it out loud.
His dig finds its mark, and Shannyn lashes out, "Oh, I'm sorry, the fact that my entire life is over there doesn't count in the least." Folding her arms across her chest and slumping down in her seat, every bit of her body vibrating defensiveness, she lets out an angry laugh. "Since you can't seem to understand even that very basic fact, don't you dare presume to tell me you know what I do or do not want." It's pointless telling him that she loves him, wants him, even now when she's ready and willing to push him down a very long flight of stairs. She stares at him and it's like she doesn't even know him right now, so how could he understand her desires? her fears?
My entire life is over there. Exactly, David thinks, and I'm obviously not part of it. Cut to the core, he doesn't really care any more how he looks or sounds. "I fucking agonised over that email," he yells. "How long did it take you to decide to say no? Five minutes? I was ready to chuck away everything I've got for you if I could have, can't you fucking understand that?" It's too much, he's knackered, had a long day at work and finds himself fighting back a wave of emotion. He squeezes his eyes shut, drops his head and grips the edge of the counter, unwilling to give Shannyn the satisfaction.
That David thinks so lowly of her to think she'd simply faked her feelings for him feels like a slap in the face, and she forces back the tears stinging her eyes. It's outrageous, and when his head falls between his shoulders Shannyn's glad for it. Petty and hurtful, but seeing that he's in pain too helps to lessen the force of hers. "No!" she shouts back at him. "You pushed me away, pulled me back 'til I didn't know what to think. You break it off with me, but the first thing you do when we meet is shove me against a bar to fuck me. So no, I don't understand!"
It's a huge effort of will, but David takes deep breaths and pulls himself together. He has to make her understand. "This, right here, this is why I made it all-or-nothing," he says. "I can't bear being with you, knowing you're going to leave again. And I can't be with you and not fucking touch you..." his voice is rising again. Shannyn's clearly struggling not to cry, and David's torn between wanting to hold her and throw her across the room. "It was starting to be okay, and then you got in touch and you're here and you're leaving and fuck, Shan, please, don't do this!"
"What am I supposed to do, David?" she asks. There's still anger in her voice, but it's frustration. Frustrated that everything is about what she is or isn't doing. Frustrated that they're right back where they started. Frustrated that she feels cornered and overwhelmed. Elbows on the table, she buries her face in her palms. "Fuck, I don't even know how I want you to answer that."
"I just." David feels helpless, angry, scared. "I just want to know why you got in touch, after I said it had to be all or nothing, that I can't deal with a 'here one minute, gone the next' relationship." He's handing her all the power again, he knows that. But he doesn't care. She has to understand how much he needs and wants her in his life, and he'll do almost anything to make that happen, he's fast realising.
All Shannyn hears is accusation. Why why why. Why, indeed. Throwing her hands off her face and standing, jolted by confusion channeling into hostility, Shannyn stands up and tosses her bowl in the sink with a satisfying clatter. "Why?" she starts. Everything about her body language is combative. "Why? Because I was here, and so close, and I missed you, stupid idiot that I am." Standing near to him now, finger jabbing into his chest like a weapon, she shouts, "Sick with missing you and thinking a real goodbye would help make it better!"
Goodbye? This isn't goodbye, not if he's got any say in it. She's close to him, eyes flashing, lips parted; he can smell the perfume she's wearing, and suddenly the need to possess her is overwhelming. David grabs Shannyn's shoulders and kisses her hard, roughly, pushing her back against the table and kicking aside a chair as he does so.
The skid of the chair against the floor is lost to Shannyn's ears, too full of the sudden pounding of her heartbeat drowning out everything else -- partly flaring anger at his audacity to kiss her at this moment, partly the heart-wrenching satisfaction of how right it feels to have his lips against hers. Shannyn's fists dig into his hair, yanking until his head's angled back and he's looking hotly down at her through lidded eyes. Her chest twists and she licks her lips, tasting him on her. "Fucking me won't solve this," she growls out, not sure if she's telling him so he'll stop or to make sure he doesn't.
It goes straight to his cock, the yank on his hair, and now there's no way David's stopping. Fighting her will just make it more satisfying when he wins. "Call it goodbye if you want, then," he growls, and fixes his mouth on the join between her neck and shoulder, biting.
"Bastard," she gasps, the bite like a punch through her nerves, leaving her aching and acutely aware of his erection against her belly. David's washing her over with sensation, and Shannyn's palm hits him hard square in the chest, unwilling to let him overwhelm her. Edging out from between David and the table, she says, "You just don't get it. I don't want goodbye. You're not leaving me any choice."
David can't think straight any more. "I'm the one who's stuck here!" he yells. "How is it that you don't have any choice? If I didn't have this job, I'd be over there yesterday to be with you, and screw my life here!" That's what hurts so much. That he's prepared to throw in everything for her, but she's not willing to do the same for him. David leans forward on to the table, in the space she's left, fists clenched, stomach churning. It's no use.
Shannyn just stands there for a minute then folds herself against him with a sigh, cheek pressed into his tense back. She knows this makes her look weak, makes her look like she isn't still angry, but she's tired and miserable and doesn't know how to make it all better. "How much longer is it?"
He won't give in, not quite yet, although the press of her breasts against him isn't helping his erection diminish. Instead, David lets out a long, deep sigh to give himself a little time to gather himself. "How much longer until what?" he says quietly.
"Your contract," Shannyn mumbles into his shirt. "How much longer is it?" Cheek to spine, she can feel David holding himself still, her own arms loose around his waist as she struggles to lay down the tracks of her thoughts before the train rolls through.
"Beginning of April," he says, standing up straight and turning to pull Shannyn into his arms, anger spent. "Once I've done all the promotional stuff for the new series." David sighs deeply and breathes in the scent of Shannyn's hair, feeling like she's slipping away from him by the second.
In the warmth of his arms, Shannyn feels guilt wash over her. Not for her anger -- that was months of built up bitterness she felt justified in venting -- but David's barbs had found their mark. I'm the one who's stuck here! She hadn't been stuck in LA, not truly. Her family, friends, work... it wasn't like she would've lost them had she come to London when he'd asked her last time. But she'd been scared then as she is now. Shannyn doesn't do relationships. They're messy and confusing and, with a man like David, potentially painful. But hadn't it been just as bad, alone in LA? Tightening her hold on him, Shannyn tentatively says, "I can't give you forever, but I can give you me, here, until April."
"Wait, what?" David pulls back and looks Shannyn in the face, convinced he didn't hear right, or missed something. His heart is going at ten thousand beats a minute. "Did you just say you'd stay?" He almost can't bear to hear the answer, that he did hear wrong and she's about to bring his hopes crashing down again.
"Until April," Shannyn answers, needing to be very clear for her own peace of mind. "After that... well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Okay?"
"Okay? Okay??" David laughs out loud and hugs Shannyn tight. "It's more than okay, it's..." He kisses her firmly on the mouth. "This is the best moment of my life -- after being told I was Doctor Who, obviously."
"I'm pleased I rank so high on the list," Shannyn jokes with a shake of her head. She really, really hopes this all doesn't blow up in her face. It's very sudden, and she hasn't thought it through at all, but the look on his face -- that she can make him light up like that makes her heart melt -- brushes off any instant regret trying to claw its way into her mind. "You do realize you're going to have to give up your closet."
"Now, hang on..." David frowns. "That's going a bit far. I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet." And yeah, there's still the matter of that erection. He hugs Shannyn and nips her ear. "I think we need to seal the deal with sex," he murmurs.
Angling her head so their mouths are mere inches from each other, his brushing along her cheek, Shannyn says with a smile, "I get your closet, you get me. Seems fair."
"You get me and my closet. Except that you need to learn to start calling it a wardrobe, or a cupboard, or something, now you're in my country." David can't contain himself any more, and at last his mouth finds hers.
Now David's the one being pushed back into the table, Shannyn's hand tracing a familiar path between their bodies down to the waist of his pants. "Closet, closet, closet," she murmurs whenever David lets her come up for air, her palm sliding firmly over his cock.
"I... ah!... I love it when you talk dirty," David gasps. His hand finds Shannyn's arse and squeezes, mouth sliding over her neck, nipping and sucking. He's floating, still not quite believing what just happened, that she's here and she's not leaving; not tomorrow, not next week, not even next month.
Pressing up onto her toes, Shannyn's breathing hard at each bite of his teeth into her neck. "Would you rather I talk dirty, or," -- David's sitting on the table and one of her knees finds its way next to his hip so she's half astride him -- "act dirty?" The table protests as her other leg swings up, and she whispers, excited, running her tongue along the edge of his ear, "Do you think it'll hold us while I fuck you?"
"That's the reason I bought this table," David says with a moan at the pressure on his cock and the general amazingness of the situation. He cups her arse and turns his head to find her mouth again. "If you don't get naked soon, I'm going to have to start getting bossy."
Although Shannyn has no problem with the getting naked bit, she pulls back just far enough to look David in the face and raise an eyebrow. "And if I want you naked, while I lift up my skirt and sink down onto you?" Her hand undoes his zipper, the sound loud to her ears, and she strokes him. "What will you do if I don't obey?"
She's got him in the palm of her hand, and he's more than happy to be there. He groans again, both at her touching him and the incredibly hot mental image she's just created. "Your wish is my command," he says, his voice cracking a bit with arousal.
"Excellent," Shannyn says, thrilled at his answer. Sliding off the table with as much grace as can be managed with the awkward angles, Shannyn reaches under her skirt and slides off her panties. Best to do that now before she gets back. "Are your condoms still in your bedroom's side table?" He nods and she goes to grab them. With a second thought, she pokes her head back into the doorway and waves her hand at him. "And take all that off. I want you naked and on your back by the time I get back."
David salutes and grins and Shannyn's face disappears. He pulls off his clothes as quickly as he can with shaking, sweaty hands, still marveling at how Shannyn can send his emotions off on such a roller coaster ride. Now that he's back at the top, it's exhilarating, and he's not even thinking that there might be another dip in sight. For now, she's here with him, and that's all he needs to think about. Finally the clothes are off and he lies down on the table obediently just as Shannyn returns.
"Oh, you're good." David's done just as she'd told him, and the fact that he's not waiting for her in a pose with a cheeky grin -- fun as that might have been -- pleases her. After all their misunderstandings and arguing, it feels damn good to know he takes her seriously. Setting the box of condoms on the table, Shannyn lets her hands slide up his thighs until they reach his hip bones. His skin's hot, but the fact that he's hers, all hers to do with what she wants, is hotter. "Is there anything you'd like to say before we get started? Because once we do, the only thing I want to hear out of your mouth is groans and whimpers and 'Please may I come.'"
Her palms on his skin make him shiver. There's only one thought in his mind at the moment, one and one only. "I love you," he says quietly.
"I love you, too," Shannyn whispers back before she leans down and takes his cock in her mouth, hands on his hips to hold him against the table.
The sight and sensation of Shannyn's mouth around his cock is almost too good to bear. "So fucking sexy," he moans, his fingers weaving in her hair, forgetting himself already. With a rush of panic, he remembers he's not supposed to speak. "Sorry!" he gasps, flinging his arm over his face and moaning again as her tongue does the most amazing things with his foreskin.
Shannyn wants to laugh, but all she can manage with David's cock in her mouth is a subdued chuckle. It feels like forever since she's done this, and each lick, each suck is entirely novel to her. She can only manage a few minutes though before her own impatience gets the better of her good intentions. Hauling herself on the table to straddle him, she lets her skirt brush against his erection as she tears open the condom packet. "I like sucking you off," Shannyn says, her voice breathy from arousal as she rolls on the condom, "but I love riding you."
About to open his mouth to speak again, David shuts it, and just sighs long and deep as the condom goes on. She's smiling and beautiful above him, the only downer being that she's still got her clothes on. Later, he tells himself. Plenty of time to be naked later.
Sinking onto him with a satisfied groan, Shannyn runs her palms along his chest until she finds a good position, then braces her arms as her hips begin to rise and fall. A pliant, pleasing David beneath her is incredibly sexy, and the fact that she's fully clothed as she fucks him is turning out to be a much bigger turn on than she expected. "Is it different, David?" Her breath hitches as her clit rubs against him, and she continues with a gasp, "Feeling your cock slide into me, but unable to see it?"
"Can I..." David manages. "Can I answer?" He's got the merest glimmer of cheekiness in his eye, he hopes. Not enough to get him into trouble, just enough to be endearing.
At that Shannyn lets out a real laugh, leaning down kiss him hard, biting at his lips. When she finally pulls back, she rocks her hips and teases, "Only if your answer is as naughty as your expression."
"Always," David grins, and then hums with satisfaction at what Shannyn's body is doing to his cock. "Honestly? I'd rather have you naked, I miss your perfect tits. But it does have a sort of forbidden pleasure about it." He slides his hands up her thighs and under her skirt to cup and squeeze her arse.
"Forbidden, eh?" Shannyn asks with a devilish twist of her lips. "That's pretty hot." She rocks harder, thighs sliding against his hips until the friction almost burns. Hands moving everywhere across his chest -- prompted a lot by lust and maybe a little by doing exactly what she knows he wants to do her -- Shannyn groans out her pleasure. She loves this position, the power and the control and just the right angle, and David's firm grip on her bare ass only excites her more. Hell, Shannyn's so turned on even the lingering scent of curry adds to the lushness of it all.
It's amazing, brilliant, fantastic. She's riding him, with such a look of satisfaction on her face that David vows to find a way to keep her this happy. The fact that Shannyn's here to stay - for now at least - hasn't properly sunk in, but it's hovering around the edges of his consciousness, popping up to remind him every now and then that life has suddenly taken a fucking huge turn for the better. David laughs out loud and his hips start to match Shannyn's rhythm, rocking against her and creating the most delicious friction against his cock. "Want to watch you come," he says happily.
Shannyn needs no prompting, and a hand slides under her skirt to help things along, push her over the edge, giving David tantalizing glimpses of skin and cock as she bites hard into her lip. He looks so happy, she thinks before her thoughts fly right out of her head and all her focus in on the rush of prickly heat coursing under her skin.
He watches her, feels her come, thinking he's never seen her looking so beautiful. It's as if he's standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, exhilarated and terrified all at once. This is past the point of no return, David realises; she's got him, he's helpless, nothing matters but being with her.
It's not until her hips begin to slow -- but not stop -- that she grins lazily down at David, her face mirroring his emotions. Her voice is winded, her tone cheeky, as she says, "I hope you're comfortable, cus I'd like another one of those before I let you come."
David can't help but laugh. "Bloody demanding wench." She knows I'll do anything for her at this point. "Better take some more orgasm denial training if I'm going to be hanging around with you, I think," he says wryly.
Shannyn gives a sigh, and it's happy and lusty and slips out from deep in her chest. "Probably," she answers, letting her whole body arch and stretch as she resettles her knees on the hard wood of the table. The shifting causes delicious little spasms to rush up her spine, and her satisfaction with everything -- this moment, this sex, this man -- runs bone deep. With a lazy smile she grips his shoulders and moves again, saying, "I guess I'm just not polite enough to wait my turn."
"If you're going to live over here, you're going to have to learn how to be polite," David laughs, and then groans as Shannyn moves on him. He runs his hands up her sides, encountering rough fabric instead of smooth flesh, and frowns. "Shan, please... I need to touch you, need you naked. I'll beg for you later, as much as you want, but right now, please..." David tugs at her shirt. "For me?"
Her automatic reaction is to grin and tease, refuse his request with another rock of her hips. But her response catches in her throat as she looks down at him. David looks so very serious as he tugs at her top, and it hits her that this isn't a game. Even though she's feeling all the things she's felt before -- happy, horny, anxious, loved -- it feels different. More somehow, and she's caught off-guard. "Yeah, okay," she says. Licking her lips in a nervous gesture, Shannyn nods. "For you." She tucks her chin in and stretches out her arms as David's pulls her shirt off.
The shirt is pulled off and tossed aside, and David immediately runs his hands up Shannyn's sides and over her shoulders just to feel the softness of her skin. She's undoing her bra and he slides the straps down her shoulders and off, his breath catching as her breasts are revealed. "You're so beautiful," he whispers, suddenly unable to comprehend just why she wants him. But she's undoing her skirt and he helps her through the awkward task of pulling it up her body and off. Now he can't stop touching her, his hands all over Shannyn's body, stroking, touching, kneading her breasts, squeezing her thighs, tracing curves and creases. One hand eventually comes to rest at the join of her hip and thigh, his thumb lightly stroking her clit.
The power of being clothed was a turn on, but the punch to her senses as David's hands stroke her body damn near blinds her with pleasure. Shannyn gasps as it rides her skin, watching him watch her. Already stoked, she's building fast, and the look on David's flushed, sweaty face is so focused, so sweet Shannyn feels positively adored. She revels in it, sinking her fingers into his shoulders as her hips move with a mind of their own.
David rocks into her, matching the rhythm of Shannyn's hips with his own, his thumb massaging her swollen clit. He can feel his orgasm gathering at the base of his spine, and he knows that there's no way he'll be able to hold back when she comes. "Soon, please, make it soon," he groans.
Eyes squeeze shut as David's thumb runs over her clit again and again, and it feels so good it hurts. Even the ache in her knees is lost as her body tenses above him. "Omigod," Shannyn gasps on an inhale, and she feels heavy, sinking against David until they're chest to chest and she's moaning his name. She wants his touch everywhere, to feel the heat of his skin slides against all of hers, and her mouth mindlessly, blissfully traces the pulse pounding in the column of his throat.
As she lays herself on him, her internal muscles still clenching around his cock, David lets go of the gathering heat in his groin. He's aware of Shannyn's mouth on his neck as the heat spreads through his body, tensing up every muscle, grinding his bones against the hard table top. The pleasure comes to a peak, almost too much, and he clutches desperately at Shannyn, gasping her name once before his body goes liquid, boneless, and he lies panting underneath her.
All of her weight is on him, too exhausted to even make the effort to heft herself off him. Besides, Shannyn's pretty sure David will hoist her off before their sweaty skin starts to stick together. David's breath fans her swollen lips as she tilts her face up, soft little puffs that echo the delicious tremors still tap dancing along her nerves. Brushing the back of her knuckles against his neck, she plants tiny kisses all over his lips. "You taste like curry," she says, then smiles. "I think it's my new favorite flavor."
David laughs out loud, happy, delighted, content, buzzing with the afterglow of an intense orgasm. And it doesn't hurt that there's a beautiful naked woman lying on him. "You're my favourite flavour," he says, and then groans. "What a bloody stupid thing to say. This is what you've done to me. Turned me into a gibbering idiot."
"Oh, I'm sure that started before I came around." David looks a bit affronted, whether for show or for real she's not sure, but as she looks down at him, totally relaxed and open, she can't help but think what a good thing she's got. So good, and all hers, and how can that feel so amazing while it also scares her out of her wits? "You've never been just entertainment to me, I hope you know that."
"I do now, anyway." David shifts and groans. The table is suddenly very hard, and he's still lying on it, naked woman or no. "Reality is kicking in with a vengeance here and I've got to get up bloody early tomorrow, so..." He slides his hands up Shannyn's arms to her shoulders. "How about a shower and then bed? For sleeping purposes, I mean."
"Sounds good," Shannyn says, finally pushing herself off David with an oomph. "Why don't you go jump in the shower, and I'll clean up real quick in here and-- hey!" Shannyn catches David's disbelieving face. "I do know how to wash a dish."
"Lucky for me I've recently acquired a dishwasher, and I don't mean you," David says, sitting up with a groan and sliding off the table. He laughs, and catches Shannyn into a hug, kissing her and ruffling her hair. "But if you insist on clearing up, just chuck it all in there and I'll set it going in the morning." With a smile Shannyn nods her agreement and sets about gathering the dishes. He heads for the shower, feeling happier than he'd have thought it possible to feel.
Authors: ripsgirl and giina
Pairing: David Tennant/Shannyn Sossamon
Rating: NC-17
Summary: An evening that starts with anger ends with a compromise.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Nothing is meant to be implied about the real David Tennant or Shannyn Sossamon. Absolutely no truth to it whatsoever. Made it all up.
*****
In the end they hadn't done much talking at the club. Not Talking. Just catching up, really, eating and drinking and catching up, followed by more sex. And then David had had to go, as he had a 6 am call and realised that if he didn't leave now he'd be there all night.
All of which means that there is still serious talking to be done, the Whys and the What Nows which hung between them like the proverbial elephant in the room. So David gets in some wine, and despite not getting home 'til 8 pm, whips up a thai green curry and has rice cooking when Shannyn's cab pulls up outside at 8.30.
"Hey, you," he says, pulling her into his arms when at last the door closes behind them.
It's almost an automatic reaction, no thought required, to reward David with a brief but heartfelt kiss as he bundles her up against him. This sort of casual intimacy comes easily, and Shannyn clings to the moment, knowing that tonight's chat wouldn't go as smoothly as last night's. Rejection and hurt are never ideal topics of discussion. So she delays it more, sliding past him toward the kitchen. "God, that smells good. I hope you made enough."
"I'm cut to the quick that you doubt me," David says, following her and clutching his chest dramatically. They make small talk, chit-chat about their day while David serves out rice and curry. He's set two places at the table, at right angles to each other rather than opposite, as he wants to be able to touch her. There's difficult, unspoken things to discuss; he's still not much clearer about the future, and so has no idea how this is going to go. "Have a seat," he says, setting bowls on the table.
They both settle in, legs brushing and tangling together underneath the tabletop. David's watchful gaze seems to follow her every move as they tuck into their food, and the room feels warmer than it had a moment ago. Shannyn had almost forgotten David's culinary abilities, and she tells him so, an underhanded compliment rewarded with a heart-stopping smile. She leans into that smile like a plant to sunshine, and with a smile of her own says, "Coming to London was a good idea."
David's got his fork in one hand, the fingertips of the other hand stroking the inside of Shannyn's arm. "You could have easily come over and not got in touch... I'm glad you did." He can't stop looking at her and touching her, as if he can't really believe she's here.
Her gaze drops back to her plate. Damn, but she hates this lingering weight, the feeling of words unspoken. It would be so much easier to crack a joke, change the subject, grab David's shirt and make him whisper every dirty, debauched thing he wants her to do to him... Shannyn eats another forkful to stop her thoughts. She may not want to talk, but she needs it. "I almost didn't." She looks at him. "An email was the safest route I could think of."
"So you're here, you came, you got in touch." David swallows food and then takes a swig of wine for good measure. "Does this mean you're... Well. You know." He waves his fork as if this will assist him in making his meaning clear. "Back?"
"Back?" Shannyn repeats, face clouding with confusion. "Back here, in London?" she asks tentatively.
"I meant..." David takes her hand and kisses it, rubbing it against his cheek as he talks. He's almost afraid to say it, afraid of what the answer will be. "Back with me."
The light stubble on his cheek scratches the back of her hand, delicious little bits of friction that zing up her arm. "I love you, almost more that anything," the words slipping through the barest of smiles, just because she can't not say the words without them affecting her expression. "But we've an ocean in the way," Shannyn says, regret and more than a little bitterness underpinning her voice.
David's heart sinks. "Because you allowed it to be," he says, letting go of her hand. "So why did you get in touch, then? So I can keep you entertained while you're here?" He wants to yell the words at her, but instead keeps his voice and demeanour calm. No point letting her know how much this is affecting him. David leans back in his chair and picks up his wine glass, looking steadily at Shannyn.
His calmness adds to the hurt she feels at his words, and Shannyn throws her napkin off her lap. "Because I allowed it to be?" She bites out the question, letting her anger get the best of her, because if she doesn't, she'll cry, and that's unacceptable. "I didn't see you offer to move halfway 'round the world. No, you just demanded it of me."
Shannyn's anger empowers David, and he finds it easier to stay calm. "Right," he says, nodding and raising an eyebrow. "So it wasn't enough for me to say that if it wasn't for this job I have I'd be over there? Because that was how I felt. Feel. Should I have signed for another year of this once-in-a-lifetime job, or should I have jacked it all in to be with you? I'm still not sure what huge thing it was that stopped you from saying yes to me." He's angry again now, and stands, shoving his chair back and walking over to the sink, throwing his empty bowl in. "Other than the fact that you didn't want to, of course."
There. It's out. He's weakened his position by showing his true feelings, but it's good to say it out loud.
His dig finds its mark, and Shannyn lashes out, "Oh, I'm sorry, the fact that my entire life is over there doesn't count in the least." Folding her arms across her chest and slumping down in her seat, every bit of her body vibrating defensiveness, she lets out an angry laugh. "Since you can't seem to understand even that very basic fact, don't you dare presume to tell me you know what I do or do not want." It's pointless telling him that she loves him, wants him, even now when she's ready and willing to push him down a very long flight of stairs. She stares at him and it's like she doesn't even know him right now, so how could he understand her desires? her fears?
My entire life is over there. Exactly, David thinks, and I'm obviously not part of it. Cut to the core, he doesn't really care any more how he looks or sounds. "I fucking agonised over that email," he yells. "How long did it take you to decide to say no? Five minutes? I was ready to chuck away everything I've got for you if I could have, can't you fucking understand that?" It's too much, he's knackered, had a long day at work and finds himself fighting back a wave of emotion. He squeezes his eyes shut, drops his head and grips the edge of the counter, unwilling to give Shannyn the satisfaction.
That David thinks so lowly of her to think she'd simply faked her feelings for him feels like a slap in the face, and she forces back the tears stinging her eyes. It's outrageous, and when his head falls between his shoulders Shannyn's glad for it. Petty and hurtful, but seeing that he's in pain too helps to lessen the force of hers. "No!" she shouts back at him. "You pushed me away, pulled me back 'til I didn't know what to think. You break it off with me, but the first thing you do when we meet is shove me against a bar to fuck me. So no, I don't understand!"
It's a huge effort of will, but David takes deep breaths and pulls himself together. He has to make her understand. "This, right here, this is why I made it all-or-nothing," he says. "I can't bear being with you, knowing you're going to leave again. And I can't be with you and not fucking touch you..." his voice is rising again. Shannyn's clearly struggling not to cry, and David's torn between wanting to hold her and throw her across the room. "It was starting to be okay, and then you got in touch and you're here and you're leaving and fuck, Shan, please, don't do this!"
"What am I supposed to do, David?" she asks. There's still anger in her voice, but it's frustration. Frustrated that everything is about what she is or isn't doing. Frustrated that they're right back where they started. Frustrated that she feels cornered and overwhelmed. Elbows on the table, she buries her face in her palms. "Fuck, I don't even know how I want you to answer that."
"I just." David feels helpless, angry, scared. "I just want to know why you got in touch, after I said it had to be all or nothing, that I can't deal with a 'here one minute, gone the next' relationship." He's handing her all the power again, he knows that. But he doesn't care. She has to understand how much he needs and wants her in his life, and he'll do almost anything to make that happen, he's fast realising.
All Shannyn hears is accusation. Why why why. Why, indeed. Throwing her hands off her face and standing, jolted by confusion channeling into hostility, Shannyn stands up and tosses her bowl in the sink with a satisfying clatter. "Why?" she starts. Everything about her body language is combative. "Why? Because I was here, and so close, and I missed you, stupid idiot that I am." Standing near to him now, finger jabbing into his chest like a weapon, she shouts, "Sick with missing you and thinking a real goodbye would help make it better!"
Goodbye? This isn't goodbye, not if he's got any say in it. She's close to him, eyes flashing, lips parted; he can smell the perfume she's wearing, and suddenly the need to possess her is overwhelming. David grabs Shannyn's shoulders and kisses her hard, roughly, pushing her back against the table and kicking aside a chair as he does so.
The skid of the chair against the floor is lost to Shannyn's ears, too full of the sudden pounding of her heartbeat drowning out everything else -- partly flaring anger at his audacity to kiss her at this moment, partly the heart-wrenching satisfaction of how right it feels to have his lips against hers. Shannyn's fists dig into his hair, yanking until his head's angled back and he's looking hotly down at her through lidded eyes. Her chest twists and she licks her lips, tasting him on her. "Fucking me won't solve this," she growls out, not sure if she's telling him so he'll stop or to make sure he doesn't.
It goes straight to his cock, the yank on his hair, and now there's no way David's stopping. Fighting her will just make it more satisfying when he wins. "Call it goodbye if you want, then," he growls, and fixes his mouth on the join between her neck and shoulder, biting.
"Bastard," she gasps, the bite like a punch through her nerves, leaving her aching and acutely aware of his erection against her belly. David's washing her over with sensation, and Shannyn's palm hits him hard square in the chest, unwilling to let him overwhelm her. Edging out from between David and the table, she says, "You just don't get it. I don't want goodbye. You're not leaving me any choice."
David can't think straight any more. "I'm the one who's stuck here!" he yells. "How is it that you don't have any choice? If I didn't have this job, I'd be over there yesterday to be with you, and screw my life here!" That's what hurts so much. That he's prepared to throw in everything for her, but she's not willing to do the same for him. David leans forward on to the table, in the space she's left, fists clenched, stomach churning. It's no use.
Shannyn just stands there for a minute then folds herself against him with a sigh, cheek pressed into his tense back. She knows this makes her look weak, makes her look like she isn't still angry, but she's tired and miserable and doesn't know how to make it all better. "How much longer is it?"
He won't give in, not quite yet, although the press of her breasts against him isn't helping his erection diminish. Instead, David lets out a long, deep sigh to give himself a little time to gather himself. "How much longer until what?" he says quietly.
"Your contract," Shannyn mumbles into his shirt. "How much longer is it?" Cheek to spine, she can feel David holding himself still, her own arms loose around his waist as she struggles to lay down the tracks of her thoughts before the train rolls through.
"Beginning of April," he says, standing up straight and turning to pull Shannyn into his arms, anger spent. "Once I've done all the promotional stuff for the new series." David sighs deeply and breathes in the scent of Shannyn's hair, feeling like she's slipping away from him by the second.
In the warmth of his arms, Shannyn feels guilt wash over her. Not for her anger -- that was months of built up bitterness she felt justified in venting -- but David's barbs had found their mark. I'm the one who's stuck here! She hadn't been stuck in LA, not truly. Her family, friends, work... it wasn't like she would've lost them had she come to London when he'd asked her last time. But she'd been scared then as she is now. Shannyn doesn't do relationships. They're messy and confusing and, with a man like David, potentially painful. But hadn't it been just as bad, alone in LA? Tightening her hold on him, Shannyn tentatively says, "I can't give you forever, but I can give you me, here, until April."
"Wait, what?" David pulls back and looks Shannyn in the face, convinced he didn't hear right, or missed something. His heart is going at ten thousand beats a minute. "Did you just say you'd stay?" He almost can't bear to hear the answer, that he did hear wrong and she's about to bring his hopes crashing down again.
"Until April," Shannyn answers, needing to be very clear for her own peace of mind. "After that... well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Okay?"
"Okay? Okay??" David laughs out loud and hugs Shannyn tight. "It's more than okay, it's..." He kisses her firmly on the mouth. "This is the best moment of my life -- after being told I was Doctor Who, obviously."
"I'm pleased I rank so high on the list," Shannyn jokes with a shake of her head. She really, really hopes this all doesn't blow up in her face. It's very sudden, and she hasn't thought it through at all, but the look on his face -- that she can make him light up like that makes her heart melt -- brushes off any instant regret trying to claw its way into her mind. "You do realize you're going to have to give up your closet."
"Now, hang on..." David frowns. "That's going a bit far. I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet." And yeah, there's still the matter of that erection. He hugs Shannyn and nips her ear. "I think we need to seal the deal with sex," he murmurs.
Angling her head so their mouths are mere inches from each other, his brushing along her cheek, Shannyn says with a smile, "I get your closet, you get me. Seems fair."
"You get me and my closet. Except that you need to learn to start calling it a wardrobe, or a cupboard, or something, now you're in my country." David can't contain himself any more, and at last his mouth finds hers.
Now David's the one being pushed back into the table, Shannyn's hand tracing a familiar path between their bodies down to the waist of his pants. "Closet, closet, closet," she murmurs whenever David lets her come up for air, her palm sliding firmly over his cock.
"I... ah!... I love it when you talk dirty," David gasps. His hand finds Shannyn's arse and squeezes, mouth sliding over her neck, nipping and sucking. He's floating, still not quite believing what just happened, that she's here and she's not leaving; not tomorrow, not next week, not even next month.
Pressing up onto her toes, Shannyn's breathing hard at each bite of his teeth into her neck. "Would you rather I talk dirty, or," -- David's sitting on the table and one of her knees finds its way next to his hip so she's half astride him -- "act dirty?" The table protests as her other leg swings up, and she whispers, excited, running her tongue along the edge of his ear, "Do you think it'll hold us while I fuck you?"
"That's the reason I bought this table," David says with a moan at the pressure on his cock and the general amazingness of the situation. He cups her arse and turns his head to find her mouth again. "If you don't get naked soon, I'm going to have to start getting bossy."
Although Shannyn has no problem with the getting naked bit, she pulls back just far enough to look David in the face and raise an eyebrow. "And if I want you naked, while I lift up my skirt and sink down onto you?" Her hand undoes his zipper, the sound loud to her ears, and she strokes him. "What will you do if I don't obey?"
She's got him in the palm of her hand, and he's more than happy to be there. He groans again, both at her touching him and the incredibly hot mental image she's just created. "Your wish is my command," he says, his voice cracking a bit with arousal.
"Excellent," Shannyn says, thrilled at his answer. Sliding off the table with as much grace as can be managed with the awkward angles, Shannyn reaches under her skirt and slides off her panties. Best to do that now before she gets back. "Are your condoms still in your bedroom's side table?" He nods and she goes to grab them. With a second thought, she pokes her head back into the doorway and waves her hand at him. "And take all that off. I want you naked and on your back by the time I get back."
David salutes and grins and Shannyn's face disappears. He pulls off his clothes as quickly as he can with shaking, sweaty hands, still marveling at how Shannyn can send his emotions off on such a roller coaster ride. Now that he's back at the top, it's exhilarating, and he's not even thinking that there might be another dip in sight. For now, she's here with him, and that's all he needs to think about. Finally the clothes are off and he lies down on the table obediently just as Shannyn returns.
"Oh, you're good." David's done just as she'd told him, and the fact that he's not waiting for her in a pose with a cheeky grin -- fun as that might have been -- pleases her. After all their misunderstandings and arguing, it feels damn good to know he takes her seriously. Setting the box of condoms on the table, Shannyn lets her hands slide up his thighs until they reach his hip bones. His skin's hot, but the fact that he's hers, all hers to do with what she wants, is hotter. "Is there anything you'd like to say before we get started? Because once we do, the only thing I want to hear out of your mouth is groans and whimpers and 'Please may I come.'"
Her palms on his skin make him shiver. There's only one thought in his mind at the moment, one and one only. "I love you," he says quietly.
"I love you, too," Shannyn whispers back before she leans down and takes his cock in her mouth, hands on his hips to hold him against the table.
The sight and sensation of Shannyn's mouth around his cock is almost too good to bear. "So fucking sexy," he moans, his fingers weaving in her hair, forgetting himself already. With a rush of panic, he remembers he's not supposed to speak. "Sorry!" he gasps, flinging his arm over his face and moaning again as her tongue does the most amazing things with his foreskin.
Shannyn wants to laugh, but all she can manage with David's cock in her mouth is a subdued chuckle. It feels like forever since she's done this, and each lick, each suck is entirely novel to her. She can only manage a few minutes though before her own impatience gets the better of her good intentions. Hauling herself on the table to straddle him, she lets her skirt brush against his erection as she tears open the condom packet. "I like sucking you off," Shannyn says, her voice breathy from arousal as she rolls on the condom, "but I love riding you."
About to open his mouth to speak again, David shuts it, and just sighs long and deep as the condom goes on. She's smiling and beautiful above him, the only downer being that she's still got her clothes on. Later, he tells himself. Plenty of time to be naked later.
Sinking onto him with a satisfied groan, Shannyn runs her palms along his chest until she finds a good position, then braces her arms as her hips begin to rise and fall. A pliant, pleasing David beneath her is incredibly sexy, and the fact that she's fully clothed as she fucks him is turning out to be a much bigger turn on than she expected. "Is it different, David?" Her breath hitches as her clit rubs against him, and she continues with a gasp, "Feeling your cock slide into me, but unable to see it?"
"Can I..." David manages. "Can I answer?" He's got the merest glimmer of cheekiness in his eye, he hopes. Not enough to get him into trouble, just enough to be endearing.
At that Shannyn lets out a real laugh, leaning down kiss him hard, biting at his lips. When she finally pulls back, she rocks her hips and teases, "Only if your answer is as naughty as your expression."
"Always," David grins, and then hums with satisfaction at what Shannyn's body is doing to his cock. "Honestly? I'd rather have you naked, I miss your perfect tits. But it does have a sort of forbidden pleasure about it." He slides his hands up her thighs and under her skirt to cup and squeeze her arse.
"Forbidden, eh?" Shannyn asks with a devilish twist of her lips. "That's pretty hot." She rocks harder, thighs sliding against his hips until the friction almost burns. Hands moving everywhere across his chest -- prompted a lot by lust and maybe a little by doing exactly what she knows he wants to do her -- Shannyn groans out her pleasure. She loves this position, the power and the control and just the right angle, and David's firm grip on her bare ass only excites her more. Hell, Shannyn's so turned on even the lingering scent of curry adds to the lushness of it all.
It's amazing, brilliant, fantastic. She's riding him, with such a look of satisfaction on her face that David vows to find a way to keep her this happy. The fact that Shannyn's here to stay - for now at least - hasn't properly sunk in, but it's hovering around the edges of his consciousness, popping up to remind him every now and then that life has suddenly taken a fucking huge turn for the better. David laughs out loud and his hips start to match Shannyn's rhythm, rocking against her and creating the most delicious friction against his cock. "Want to watch you come," he says happily.
Shannyn needs no prompting, and a hand slides under her skirt to help things along, push her over the edge, giving David tantalizing glimpses of skin and cock as she bites hard into her lip. He looks so happy, she thinks before her thoughts fly right out of her head and all her focus in on the rush of prickly heat coursing under her skin.
He watches her, feels her come, thinking he's never seen her looking so beautiful. It's as if he's standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, exhilarated and terrified all at once. This is past the point of no return, David realises; she's got him, he's helpless, nothing matters but being with her.
It's not until her hips begin to slow -- but not stop -- that she grins lazily down at David, her face mirroring his emotions. Her voice is winded, her tone cheeky, as she says, "I hope you're comfortable, cus I'd like another one of those before I let you come."
David can't help but laugh. "Bloody demanding wench." She knows I'll do anything for her at this point. "Better take some more orgasm denial training if I'm going to be hanging around with you, I think," he says wryly.
Shannyn gives a sigh, and it's happy and lusty and slips out from deep in her chest. "Probably," she answers, letting her whole body arch and stretch as she resettles her knees on the hard wood of the table. The shifting causes delicious little spasms to rush up her spine, and her satisfaction with everything -- this moment, this sex, this man -- runs bone deep. With a lazy smile she grips his shoulders and moves again, saying, "I guess I'm just not polite enough to wait my turn."
"If you're going to live over here, you're going to have to learn how to be polite," David laughs, and then groans as Shannyn moves on him. He runs his hands up her sides, encountering rough fabric instead of smooth flesh, and frowns. "Shan, please... I need to touch you, need you naked. I'll beg for you later, as much as you want, but right now, please..." David tugs at her shirt. "For me?"
Her automatic reaction is to grin and tease, refuse his request with another rock of her hips. But her response catches in her throat as she looks down at him. David looks so very serious as he tugs at her top, and it hits her that this isn't a game. Even though she's feeling all the things she's felt before -- happy, horny, anxious, loved -- it feels different. More somehow, and she's caught off-guard. "Yeah, okay," she says. Licking her lips in a nervous gesture, Shannyn nods. "For you." She tucks her chin in and stretches out her arms as David's pulls her shirt off.
The shirt is pulled off and tossed aside, and David immediately runs his hands up Shannyn's sides and over her shoulders just to feel the softness of her skin. She's undoing her bra and he slides the straps down her shoulders and off, his breath catching as her breasts are revealed. "You're so beautiful," he whispers, suddenly unable to comprehend just why she wants him. But she's undoing her skirt and he helps her through the awkward task of pulling it up her body and off. Now he can't stop touching her, his hands all over Shannyn's body, stroking, touching, kneading her breasts, squeezing her thighs, tracing curves and creases. One hand eventually comes to rest at the join of her hip and thigh, his thumb lightly stroking her clit.
The power of being clothed was a turn on, but the punch to her senses as David's hands stroke her body damn near blinds her with pleasure. Shannyn gasps as it rides her skin, watching him watch her. Already stoked, she's building fast, and the look on David's flushed, sweaty face is so focused, so sweet Shannyn feels positively adored. She revels in it, sinking her fingers into his shoulders as her hips move with a mind of their own.
David rocks into her, matching the rhythm of Shannyn's hips with his own, his thumb massaging her swollen clit. He can feel his orgasm gathering at the base of his spine, and he knows that there's no way he'll be able to hold back when she comes. "Soon, please, make it soon," he groans.
Eyes squeeze shut as David's thumb runs over her clit again and again, and it feels so good it hurts. Even the ache in her knees is lost as her body tenses above him. "Omigod," Shannyn gasps on an inhale, and she feels heavy, sinking against David until they're chest to chest and she's moaning his name. She wants his touch everywhere, to feel the heat of his skin slides against all of hers, and her mouth mindlessly, blissfully traces the pulse pounding in the column of his throat.
As she lays herself on him, her internal muscles still clenching around his cock, David lets go of the gathering heat in his groin. He's aware of Shannyn's mouth on his neck as the heat spreads through his body, tensing up every muscle, grinding his bones against the hard table top. The pleasure comes to a peak, almost too much, and he clutches desperately at Shannyn, gasping her name once before his body goes liquid, boneless, and he lies panting underneath her.
All of her weight is on him, too exhausted to even make the effort to heft herself off him. Besides, Shannyn's pretty sure David will hoist her off before their sweaty skin starts to stick together. David's breath fans her swollen lips as she tilts her face up, soft little puffs that echo the delicious tremors still tap dancing along her nerves. Brushing the back of her knuckles against his neck, she plants tiny kisses all over his lips. "You taste like curry," she says, then smiles. "I think it's my new favorite flavor."
David laughs out loud, happy, delighted, content, buzzing with the afterglow of an intense orgasm. And it doesn't hurt that there's a beautiful naked woman lying on him. "You're my favourite flavour," he says, and then groans. "What a bloody stupid thing to say. This is what you've done to me. Turned me into a gibbering idiot."
"Oh, I'm sure that started before I came around." David looks a bit affronted, whether for show or for real she's not sure, but as she looks down at him, totally relaxed and open, she can't help but think what a good thing she's got. So good, and all hers, and how can that feel so amazing while it also scares her out of her wits? "You've never been just entertainment to me, I hope you know that."
"I do now, anyway." David shifts and groans. The table is suddenly very hard, and he's still lying on it, naked woman or no. "Reality is kicking in with a vengeance here and I've got to get up bloody early tomorrow, so..." He slides his hands up Shannyn's arms to her shoulders. "How about a shower and then bed? For sleeping purposes, I mean."
"Sounds good," Shannyn says, finally pushing herself off David with an oomph. "Why don't you go jump in the shower, and I'll clean up real quick in here and-- hey!" Shannyn catches David's disbelieving face. "I do know how to wash a dish."
"Lucky for me I've recently acquired a dishwasher, and I don't mean you," David says, sitting up with a groan and sliding off the table. He laughs, and catches Shannyn into a hug, kissing her and ruffling her hair. "But if you insist on clearing up, just chuck it all in there and I'll set it going in the morning." With a smile Shannyn nods her agreement and sets about gathering the dishes. He heads for the shower, feeling happier than he'd have thought it possible to feel.