(no subject)
☼ Sera doesn't like having long hair. As a child, she visualized herself with long hair because she had a vague idea that princesses had long, flowing locks, and because she always thought Angel was beautiful. After her betrayal by Sheffield, when she also fully realized the extent of Angel's disregard for her, she violently rejected her previous wistful notions of being anything like her. As she aged and her physical resemblance to Angel grew more pronounced, the thought of looking into the mirror and seeing Angel's face gave her panic attacks. She's long over those now, because she has much worse things to have nightmares about being than Angel...! But she still keeps her hair very short and, when bodyswitched with Angel, was very uncomfortable till Heat helped her put it up.
☼ She wasn't particularly uncomfortable with Angel's penis besides the "...it's my mom's penis" reaction, though.
☼ Now that Gale's left camp, she writes him letters telling him all about what Embryon did that day - what she needs advice on, what alcohol they confiscated from Roland, what Heat said or Serph narrowed his eyes significantly at - and then weights the letters down with rocks and drops them to the bottom of a stream. Sometimes she also sends them as emails with no address but "Gale." It's mostly symbolic, but there's a half-hope that if Nirvana is digital the emails get through, and if the Junkyard denizens were right about the rain carrying souls, the letter will get carried up as sediment in a million molecules of water and come down from the sky again with Gale's promise to wait for them.
This is what happens to you if you are Sera and think in symbolism.
☼ She doesn't write to Argilla because you hug Argilla, you don't have long philosophical conversations with her and ask her for advice about baking cakes. But she says "Tell Argilla hi for us!"
☼ Sera's nightmares are cool and white and sterile. She doesn't dream much except for nightmares, but sometimes she's Varnani in dreams, and then they're bloody and dark. The blood and darkness is less disturbing, because it's just... Varnani.
☼ She never prays, except for her song. God trying to help you out or react to you in any way means PEOPLE DIE IN THE PROCESS, He always breaks things more. Fixing things is for people to do themselves. Still, she thinks God must like the song. God's down with shanti.
☼ I did a mini essay in chan about this once but SHE LIKES HUGGING PEOPLE AND STUFF if she knows you and doesn't think you'd freak out. Especially now that she's relaxed about a lot of her touch issues. huuugs ;;
☼ She has REALLY FIRM IDEAS on life and death and their value and place. This is not something you can shake her on, since her comrades died for those ideas.
☼ She guiltily enjoys nail care. The guilt is because she gets them all bloody and torn every time she hunts so it's dumb, really! But naaaails.
☼ She feels no guilt, however, about enjoying pretty hair stuff. Clips and barrettes and things you can wear in ultrashort hair. ;;
☼ The reason she always liked the ocean was because she liked the thought of floating in liquid like she did in the E.G.G., especially after her body started to deteriorate and made standing up harder. But the ocean would be clear and salty and clean, not like the stale gelatinous feel of the preservative fluid she lived in. Being inside the E.G.G. made her feel dirty.
☼ She LOVES the onsen for this reason. Nice hot clean water! She has very few nudity issuse because she was naked all the damn time for experiments, whatever. Unless it occurs to her to find you sexually attractive, she's not going to flinch at you seeing her naked.
☼ One of her first ever erotic dreams was about Dr. O'Brien, which sensitized her to him early, even if she couldn't figure out why since he was a scary guy!! That was part of how she developed her original bad boy scenario for Heat, because it made that sensitivity fit into a stupid framework she could understand.
☼ ... this is more of an observation than headcanon, but it's a lot easier for her to connect with people who are dicks to her, because it's treatment she expects even if she's less resigned to it now. However! Just because she doesn't necessarily think she DESERVES being told to go die any more, does not mean that she expects to be told she's an awesome person, or that she believes it. So that approach actually makes her much more ;aldskfj and uncomfortable.
man I suck at these, I really only come up with them as situations come up, but oh well.
☼ She wasn't particularly uncomfortable with Angel's penis besides the "...it's my mom's penis" reaction, though.
☼ Now that Gale's left camp, she writes him letters telling him all about what Embryon did that day - what she needs advice on, what alcohol they confiscated from Roland, what Heat said or Serph narrowed his eyes significantly at - and then weights the letters down with rocks and drops them to the bottom of a stream. Sometimes she also sends them as emails with no address but "Gale." It's mostly symbolic, but there's a half-hope that if Nirvana is digital the emails get through, and if the Junkyard denizens were right about the rain carrying souls, the letter will get carried up as sediment in a million molecules of water and come down from the sky again with Gale's promise to wait for them.
This is what happens to you if you are Sera and think in symbolism.
☼ She doesn't write to Argilla because you hug Argilla, you don't have long philosophical conversations with her and ask her for advice about baking cakes. But she says "Tell Argilla hi for us!"
☼ Sera's nightmares are cool and white and sterile. She doesn't dream much except for nightmares, but sometimes she's Varnani in dreams, and then they're bloody and dark. The blood and darkness is less disturbing, because it's just... Varnani.
☼ She never prays, except for her song. God trying to help you out or react to you in any way means PEOPLE DIE IN THE PROCESS, He always breaks things more. Fixing things is for people to do themselves. Still, she thinks God must like the song. God's down with shanti.
☼ I did a mini essay in chan about this once but SHE LIKES HUGGING PEOPLE AND STUFF if she knows you and doesn't think you'd freak out. Especially now that she's relaxed about a lot of her touch issues. huuugs ;;
☼ She has REALLY FIRM IDEAS on life and death and their value and place. This is not something you can shake her on, since her comrades died for those ideas.
☼ She guiltily enjoys nail care. The guilt is because she gets them all bloody and torn every time she hunts so it's dumb, really! But naaaails.
☼ She feels no guilt, however, about enjoying pretty hair stuff. Clips and barrettes and things you can wear in ultrashort hair. ;;
☼ The reason she always liked the ocean was because she liked the thought of floating in liquid like she did in the E.G.G., especially after her body started to deteriorate and made standing up harder. But the ocean would be clear and salty and clean, not like the stale gelatinous feel of the preservative fluid she lived in. Being inside the E.G.G. made her feel dirty.
☼ She LOVES the onsen for this reason. Nice hot clean water! She has very few nudity issuse because she was naked all the damn time for experiments, whatever. Unless it occurs to her to find you sexually attractive, she's not going to flinch at you seeing her naked.
☼ One of her first ever erotic dreams was about Dr. O'Brien, which sensitized her to him early, even if she couldn't figure out why since he was a scary guy!! That was part of how she developed her original bad boy scenario for Heat, because it made that sensitivity fit into a stupid framework she could understand.
☼ ... this is more of an observation than headcanon, but it's a lot easier for her to connect with people who are dicks to her, because it's treatment she expects even if she's less resigned to it now. However! Just because she doesn't necessarily think she DESERVES being told to go die any more, does not mean that she expects to be told she's an awesome person, or that she believes it. So that approach actually makes her much more ;aldskfj and uncomfortable.
man I suck at these, I really only come up with them as situations come up, but oh well.