S-sera ilu. He just -- man, on Heat's side, so much of what's important to him about why he turns against the Embryon in the first place, and the thing he says with his dying breath is that he doesn't want her to blame herself. For anything, really, though that's partly Heat's tendancy to go TOO FAR.
He comes into it with a kind of... unpleasant side too, which is that he ...doesn't really regret his actions so much as he believes he was right in doing them with what information he had, just that it was ...also wrong and he fully expects to be hated for it. If that juxtaposition makes sense. So even into that conversation, his promise... is unbalanced compared to hers. He still wants to save her from everything -- even herself -- but we all know what an awful job he tends to do of that.
Btw, if you ever think that the reason he keeps surprising her so much is because I'm fucking him up somehow, please, please let me know.
He's... kind of undermining her with that attitude but kind of not because it's not like her approach to this is GOOD, just serviceable when you compare it to the logical alternatives. IT'S A WEIRD SITUATION. And his expecting-to-be-hated comes across a lot like self-hate to her, because... in some senses it probably is what with the constant I DON'T DESERVE TO BE IN THE GROUP KILLIN'S thing. I DON'T KNOW THAT'S YOUR ESSAY, but it's how it looks from the outside? And she can't help but respond to that, because she's all over the self-hate issue, been there done that.
Dude, not at all, your Heat seems really well thought out based on what he's done in camp and stuff to me. Sera never really DID see Heat clearly in canon, I'm convinced, so this is natural.
ESSAY GOES HERE APPARENTLY 1/?vore_crimesAugust 9 2008, 06:00:20 UTC
To explain Heat's side of the matter a little (OR A LOT??):
He totally is, but he doesn't know it. If he did know it he'd be really horrified and probably vanish mysteriously for a while, as he is wont to do. And yeah, it's -- man, I REALLY SHOULD ESSAY ON THIS because it's hard to explain how Heat views himself, except that he's *totally okay* with how horribly flawed he is, even as he hates what that means, and this often seems a lot like he really hates or blames himself. Like... man, it's like his view to eating. THIS IS HOW IT IS, I EVEN LIKE IT, but he's still the guy who talks about how his view of Nirvana is all of them together on a beach, and he still -- has a constant drive to go there, a place where there's no war or suffering, and to take her there too. I think Heat's really ... he's the type of guy who lives RIGHT NOW and he's determined to be fine with every horrible thing he's willing to do RIGHT NOW, but he's also ...
Heat's really aggressive and reactive and extremely, what's the word, hotheaded, reacts without thinking about it, so he comes across as not very smart. But... he is. He's probably one of the most perceptive characters on the team (I won't say THE most or anything, Gale's way more analytical etc, but you know). If you go back to Ground Zero after the whole atma thing has come up, Argilla's grieving a little and Heat's telling her, basically, don't come back to places that make you dwell on the past. Whenever a situation comes up that's a trap, Heat's always the one going, hey, something's not right here. (Hell, even at the start, he's the one who's like "look around, this isn't right, they're afraid", and that's... before he's even 'awake'). When the Solids/Bat spring the trap so that they can attack Muladhara for Sera while the officers are away, Heat's the only one who understand what's going on SO FAST that he gets away before he can get trapped, etc, etc. Heat's also -- hilariously -- really sensitive to the feelings of the people
( ... )
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S-sera ilu. He just -- man, on Heat's side, so much of what's important to him about why he turns against the Embryon in the first place, and the thing he says with his dying breath is that he doesn't want her to blame herself. For anything, really, though that's partly Heat's tendancy to go TOO FAR.
He comes into it with a kind of... unpleasant side too, which is that he ...doesn't really regret his actions so much as he believes he was right in doing them with what information he had, just that it was ...also wrong and he fully expects to be hated for it. If that juxtaposition makes sense. So even into that conversation, his promise... is unbalanced compared to hers. He still wants to save her from everything -- even herself -- but we all know what an awful job he tends to do of that.
Btw, if you ever think that the reason he keeps surprising her so much is because I'm fucking him up somehow, please, please let me know.
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Dude, not at all, your Heat seems really well thought out based on what he's done in camp and stuff to me. Sera never really DID see Heat clearly in canon, I'm convinced, so this is natural.
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He totally is, but he doesn't know it. If he did know it he'd be really horrified and probably vanish mysteriously for a while, as he is wont to do. And yeah, it's -- man, I REALLY SHOULD ESSAY ON THIS because it's hard to explain how Heat views himself, except that he's *totally okay* with how horribly flawed he is, even as he hates what that means, and this often seems a lot like he really hates or blames himself. Like... man, it's like his view to eating. THIS IS HOW IT IS, I EVEN LIKE IT, but he's still the guy who talks about how his view of Nirvana is all of them together on a beach, and he still -- has a constant drive to go there, a place where there's no war or suffering, and to take her there too. I think Heat's really ... he's the type of guy who lives RIGHT NOW and he's determined to be fine with every horrible thing he's willing to do RIGHT NOW, but he's also ...
...man okay how do I say this...
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