Gin no Shunkan 4/?
Title: Gin no Shunkan
Author: samurai_jun
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Pairing: Shishido/Ootori
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: AU, possible OOC, shounen-ai
Disclaimer: Not mine
Chapter 4- Condition
Shishido played with the food on his tray impatiently as he waited for Ootori to get to his table. He couldn’t believe that he had asked an underclassman to sit with him. He didn’t know why the words came out of his mouth, but it did. Maybe it was because of the boy’s personality. Shishido seemed to be a sucker for people who offer even some sympathy.
When he saw the boy, Ootori, drawing at the tennis courts, he wondered why he picked the courts of all places. He knew that there were far better places to draw something artistic. He was even more shocked when he saw that Ootori had been drawing him. Of course, the boy had hastily apologized, but in Shishido’s mind, there was no need. It was tennis, not nudity.
Before he knew it, the two of them were talking to each other like they were old friends. They discussed many things such as Ootori’s artwork and tennis in general. What caught Shishido the most was the sketch of Atobe and Jirou. When he saw the sketch, he thought that Ootori truly had captured the moment. It was a moment that both of them wished that it could last.
Suddenly, without thinking about it, he had asked if Ootori wanted to sit with him at lunch. Thinking back to it, he thought that what he did was stupid, but he had seen Ootori around campus. The art major never sat next to anyone, not even his roommate. He had assumed that the silver-haired boy was a loner, but after meeting him yesterday, he realized that Ootori was quite social. Why he didn't have any friends, he didn’t know, but somehow, he felt that he wanted to help the younger boy.
“Shishido-san.” The brunette looked up to see Ootori with a bento box. “Hi.”
“Aa, Ootori, you came,” Shishido said as the silver-haired boy sat across from him. “What do you have for lunch?”
“Just leftover dinner from yesterday,” Ootori replied showing him his bento box filled with rice, vegetables, and hard-boiled eggs.
Shishido could feel a wave of envy burning in him. He always got the school lunches and they never tasted fantastic. It couldn’t be helped; the brunette couldn’t cook.
Ootori made a face. “Are the school lunches here that bad?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Shishido replied imitating the same face.
Ootori looked at his own lunch. Suddenly, he grabbed a hard-boiled egg and plopped it on Shishido’s tray. “Here, you can have it,” he said with a smile on his face.
Shishido looked at the delicious egg on his tray and then at Ootori. “I… I can have this?” he asked in awe.
“Sure, you said you hated the school’s lunch, so I thought maybe you wanted an egg.”
Shishido looked at the delicious morsel of food that Ootori was offering him. He couldn’t remember when someone actually was nice enough to give him something. His parents were too lazy to cook and often ordered take-out even for special occasions. Atobe sometimes took him out to fancy, expensive restaurants when he wasn’t busy with Jirou, but it wasn’t the same. Ootori was giving him home-cooked food.
“You don’t mind?” the brunette asked picking up the egg with his chopsticks.
“Not at all,” was the reply he got.
The brunette stared at the egg stuck between his chopsticks. It looked so good. Without a word, he popped the morsel of food into his mouth and started chewing it. His brown eyes widened. It tasted even better than cordon bleu cooking!
“This is good,” he whispered in awe.
Ootori blushed and looked down at his bento box. “Y-You really think so, Shishido-san?”
“Yeah, I’ve never had home-cooked food before.”
Ootori’s chocolate brown eyes widened in surprise. “Never?” he asked in disbelief.
“Never. My parents were too lazy to cook something, so they normally ordered take-out. I know it’s not that healthy, but that was the truth.”
“Aa.”
The two of them continued talking for what seemed like hours when it was only a half an hour. They talked about tennis, things they liked, how their classes and professors were, until they ran out of things to talk about and settled in finishing their lunches in silent.
Shishido glanced over at Ootori. The younger student was interesting. He seemed to be like a kid, but not a kid at all. He was caring, but firm; submissive, but has a mind of his own; and had a good foundation for his future. He was a perfect example of someone whose yin and yang were balanced. In short, Ootori was everything Shishido wanted to be.
“Aa!”
Shishido jerked back to reality. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“My next class starts soon!” Ootori cried. “Sorry, Shishido-san, but I have to go.” With that, the art major grabbed his bag and left the cafeteria in a rush.
Shishido blinked as Ootori rushed out of the cafeteria. Checking the clock, he noticed that there was still twenty minutes left of lunch. That’s strange. How come he had to leave early? The brunette shrugged it off. Ootori probably had to finish some last-minute changes to an art piece or something. It was only then did he realize that in his rush, Ootori had left his sketchbook behind.
Oh well. I’d better give it to him.
-X-
The brunette turned his head from left to right as he searched for a silver-haired art major who had forgotten his sketchbook. Although the campus wasn’t big, he didn’t know where the art room was. There was no one around to ask for direction, so Shishido found himself wandering around looking for Ootori or anyone that could point out where the art room was.
He finally saw someone he could ask. “Excuse me, where’s the art room?” he asked.
“Aa, over there.”
“Thank you,” said Shishido. He took off in the direction dodging pass students that were leaving the cafeteria and going to their next class. Thankfully, Shishido had a free period next, so there was no need to rush.
He finally found the art room and rushed inside. What he saw astounded him. There were paintings everywhere. Shishido never told anyone this, but he enjoyed seeing classic artwork. In fact, he went to the exhibitions that were in Tokyo ever since he was in junior high. Many of his peers would consider his hobby girly, so he never told anyone.
Shishido wandered around looking at the many paintings done by college students. He saw many abstract paintings and contemporary paintings. Many of the paintings were of beautiful girls with bright, traditional Japanese scenery. Others were of only scenery whether it was traditional or modern. His sharp eyes, however, caught one painting in particular.
There was no beautiful person or beautiful scenery. Instead, there were only two things: a ball and a piece of paper with beautiful calligraphy written on it. The ball was transparent and had sakura petals and chrysanthemum blossoms painted on it. Underneath the ball was the paper with calligraphy written on it with a beautiful hand. Although Shishido wasn’t good at reading calligraphy, he understood the words that were written with a fine hand.
Live every moment in life.
What troubled Shishido the most, however, was the other feature the painting had. Along with the ball and the paper, there was red all over representing blood. The blood splashed on the ball and the paper showed that someone must have coughed up blood. The brunette knew some basic symbolism, and he knew that blood meant death. Why does such a happy environment have blood?
“Shishido-san?” a voice piped up.
The said brunette turned around to see Ootori. “Aa, Ootori. You left your sketchbook in the cafeteria, so I’m here to return it.”
“Aa, thank you, Shishido-san,” said Ootori accepting the book. “Wait, aren’t you suppose to be in class?”
Shishido shrugged. “I have a free period.”
“Aa, I see.”
Ootori’s eyes wandered over to the painting. Shishido didn’t know why, but the silver-haired boy looked so sad when he was staring at the painting. Was he feeling the same angst feeling he got when he saw the painting? Shishido watched as Ootori reached out and traced the calligraphy characters with his finger. The younger boy seemed to be in his own world.
“Shishido-san.”
“Eh?” Shishido snapped his attention back to Ootori.
“What,” Ootori began, but stopped. He took a deep breath before continuing. “What kind of feelings do you get from seeing this painting?”
Shishido paused for a moment as if he was thinking. “Angst,” he replied slowly.
“I see…”
“Why? Did you do this painting?”
“Yes.”
Shishido took one more look at the painting. If Ootori did this painting, why did it have so much angst? The Ootori he knew was outgoing, but shy, and happy to be around anyone. Why was the painting the opposite of that?
“Why so much angst?” he asked slowly.
Ootori’s brown eyes stared at the ground. Shishido watched, as the younger boy seemed to gather his thoughts. Whatever it was that Ootori was trying to tell him must be painful.
Finally, he spoke. “I suppose that this is how others will feel once I die.”
Shishido was shocked. Why was Ootori talking about dying so casually? “What are you talking about, Ootori? You’re only a first year in college. You’re not going to die any time sooner.”
The silver-haired boy turned around so his back was faced to Shishido. His head was bowed as if what he said was the truth. “Shishido-san, if I tell you about me, you will want me to get away from you. Are you sure you want to know about me?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” the brunette replied full of confidence. How bad could it be?
Ootori took a deep breath and began. “When I was young, I had anemia. It’s a blood condition where not enough red cells are produced. Sometimes, if I worked too hard, I would collapse and rushed to the hospital. It happened many times when I was in elementary school and I soon gave up in exercising.
“Then a classmate got me into tennis. As I played the sport, I found that I really liked it. To keep my anemia from acting up again, I focused on playing doubles. It seemed to work because I only collapsed from fatigue occasionally. For a long time, it never bothered me. I continued playing tennis, studying hard in school, and living life like a normal person. But then…” There was a pause.
“Then what?” Shishido asked.
Ootori took a deep breath and collected his thoughts. Shishido braced himself for the worst. “I was playing a tennis match and pushed myself too far. I collapsed after the match ended. After I went to the hospital, the doctors found out that I had a heart problem. The only treatment for my case was a pacemaker, but my family couldn’t afford the operation.”
The brunette took a deep breath. “And so, you’re left with that fact that you’ll die young,” he finished. “And to prevent others from being hurt, you isolate yourself.” He received a nod. Without thinking, Shishido grabbed the younger boy by the shoulders and turned him around so that they were facing each other.
Ootori blinked. “Shishido-san?”
“Ootori, you said in your painting to ‘Live every moment in life’, right? I think that’s a good philosophy, but isn’t it better if you share those moments with someone? I mean… shoots, life is never fun if you’re alone. Do you feel like you’re living your life as you are now, Choutarou?” Shishido asked using the younger boy’s first name for the first time.
Ootori blinked in surprise, but then his brown eyes softened. “Yes,” he said gently, but the brunette could tell the younger boy was lying.
Shishido shook his head. “No, you’re not. If you were really happy, this painting wouldn’t be so depressing. Didn’t you say that you drew what you felt fit your emotions?”
Ootori stared at the brunette his brown eyes with the saddest look Shishido ever saw. Shishido saw tears begin to form and he was expecting the younger student to start crying, but Ootori quickly wiped them away with his hand. He must have quit crying a long time ago.
“Don’t get me wrong, Shishido-san,” he said slowly. “I… I really do want to be your friend, but I’m afraid of how you’ll feel when… when the time comes.” His voice faulted on the last words. “I don’t want more to suffer for me.”
Shishido allowed a grin on his face. “Will you be friends with a guy who wants to suffer for you?” he asked.
Ootori stared right into the older student’s sharp eyes with disbelief, fear, and… a ray of hope. Suddenly, he pulled Shishido into an embrace. The brunette could feel tears soaking his shirt and hear soft sobs. “Thank you, Shishido-san,” Ootori whispered between sobs. Shishido smiled and hugged the younger boy stroking his back.
Maybe, for once, I can do something for myself…
TBC…
Author: samurai_jun
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Pairing: Shishido/Ootori
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: AU, possible OOC, shounen-ai
Disclaimer: Not mine
Chapter 4- Condition
Shishido played with the food on his tray impatiently as he waited for Ootori to get to his table. He couldn’t believe that he had asked an underclassman to sit with him. He didn’t know why the words came out of his mouth, but it did. Maybe it was because of the boy’s personality. Shishido seemed to be a sucker for people who offer even some sympathy.
When he saw the boy, Ootori, drawing at the tennis courts, he wondered why he picked the courts of all places. He knew that there were far better places to draw something artistic. He was even more shocked when he saw that Ootori had been drawing him. Of course, the boy had hastily apologized, but in Shishido’s mind, there was no need. It was tennis, not nudity.
Before he knew it, the two of them were talking to each other like they were old friends. They discussed many things such as Ootori’s artwork and tennis in general. What caught Shishido the most was the sketch of Atobe and Jirou. When he saw the sketch, he thought that Ootori truly had captured the moment. It was a moment that both of them wished that it could last.
Suddenly, without thinking about it, he had asked if Ootori wanted to sit with him at lunch. Thinking back to it, he thought that what he did was stupid, but he had seen Ootori around campus. The art major never sat next to anyone, not even his roommate. He had assumed that the silver-haired boy was a loner, but after meeting him yesterday, he realized that Ootori was quite social. Why he didn't have any friends, he didn’t know, but somehow, he felt that he wanted to help the younger boy.
“Shishido-san.” The brunette looked up to see Ootori with a bento box. “Hi.”
“Aa, Ootori, you came,” Shishido said as the silver-haired boy sat across from him. “What do you have for lunch?”
“Just leftover dinner from yesterday,” Ootori replied showing him his bento box filled with rice, vegetables, and hard-boiled eggs.
Shishido could feel a wave of envy burning in him. He always got the school lunches and they never tasted fantastic. It couldn’t be helped; the brunette couldn’t cook.
Ootori made a face. “Are the school lunches here that bad?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Shishido replied imitating the same face.
Ootori looked at his own lunch. Suddenly, he grabbed a hard-boiled egg and plopped it on Shishido’s tray. “Here, you can have it,” he said with a smile on his face.
Shishido looked at the delicious egg on his tray and then at Ootori. “I… I can have this?” he asked in awe.
“Sure, you said you hated the school’s lunch, so I thought maybe you wanted an egg.”
Shishido looked at the delicious morsel of food that Ootori was offering him. He couldn’t remember when someone actually was nice enough to give him something. His parents were too lazy to cook and often ordered take-out even for special occasions. Atobe sometimes took him out to fancy, expensive restaurants when he wasn’t busy with Jirou, but it wasn’t the same. Ootori was giving him home-cooked food.
“You don’t mind?” the brunette asked picking up the egg with his chopsticks.
“Not at all,” was the reply he got.
The brunette stared at the egg stuck between his chopsticks. It looked so good. Without a word, he popped the morsel of food into his mouth and started chewing it. His brown eyes widened. It tasted even better than cordon bleu cooking!
“This is good,” he whispered in awe.
Ootori blushed and looked down at his bento box. “Y-You really think so, Shishido-san?”
“Yeah, I’ve never had home-cooked food before.”
Ootori’s chocolate brown eyes widened in surprise. “Never?” he asked in disbelief.
“Never. My parents were too lazy to cook something, so they normally ordered take-out. I know it’s not that healthy, but that was the truth.”
“Aa.”
The two of them continued talking for what seemed like hours when it was only a half an hour. They talked about tennis, things they liked, how their classes and professors were, until they ran out of things to talk about and settled in finishing their lunches in silent.
Shishido glanced over at Ootori. The younger student was interesting. He seemed to be like a kid, but not a kid at all. He was caring, but firm; submissive, but has a mind of his own; and had a good foundation for his future. He was a perfect example of someone whose yin and yang were balanced. In short, Ootori was everything Shishido wanted to be.
“Aa!”
Shishido jerked back to reality. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“My next class starts soon!” Ootori cried. “Sorry, Shishido-san, but I have to go.” With that, the art major grabbed his bag and left the cafeteria in a rush.
Shishido blinked as Ootori rushed out of the cafeteria. Checking the clock, he noticed that there was still twenty minutes left of lunch. That’s strange. How come he had to leave early? The brunette shrugged it off. Ootori probably had to finish some last-minute changes to an art piece or something. It was only then did he realize that in his rush, Ootori had left his sketchbook behind.
Oh well. I’d better give it to him.
-X-
The brunette turned his head from left to right as he searched for a silver-haired art major who had forgotten his sketchbook. Although the campus wasn’t big, he didn’t know where the art room was. There was no one around to ask for direction, so Shishido found himself wandering around looking for Ootori or anyone that could point out where the art room was.
He finally saw someone he could ask. “Excuse me, where’s the art room?” he asked.
“Aa, over there.”
“Thank you,” said Shishido. He took off in the direction dodging pass students that were leaving the cafeteria and going to their next class. Thankfully, Shishido had a free period next, so there was no need to rush.
He finally found the art room and rushed inside. What he saw astounded him. There were paintings everywhere. Shishido never told anyone this, but he enjoyed seeing classic artwork. In fact, he went to the exhibitions that were in Tokyo ever since he was in junior high. Many of his peers would consider his hobby girly, so he never told anyone.
Shishido wandered around looking at the many paintings done by college students. He saw many abstract paintings and contemporary paintings. Many of the paintings were of beautiful girls with bright, traditional Japanese scenery. Others were of only scenery whether it was traditional or modern. His sharp eyes, however, caught one painting in particular.
There was no beautiful person or beautiful scenery. Instead, there were only two things: a ball and a piece of paper with beautiful calligraphy written on it. The ball was transparent and had sakura petals and chrysanthemum blossoms painted on it. Underneath the ball was the paper with calligraphy written on it with a beautiful hand. Although Shishido wasn’t good at reading calligraphy, he understood the words that were written with a fine hand.
Live every moment in life.
What troubled Shishido the most, however, was the other feature the painting had. Along with the ball and the paper, there was red all over representing blood. The blood splashed on the ball and the paper showed that someone must have coughed up blood. The brunette knew some basic symbolism, and he knew that blood meant death. Why does such a happy environment have blood?
“Shishido-san?” a voice piped up.
The said brunette turned around to see Ootori. “Aa, Ootori. You left your sketchbook in the cafeteria, so I’m here to return it.”
“Aa, thank you, Shishido-san,” said Ootori accepting the book. “Wait, aren’t you suppose to be in class?”
Shishido shrugged. “I have a free period.”
“Aa, I see.”
Ootori’s eyes wandered over to the painting. Shishido didn’t know why, but the silver-haired boy looked so sad when he was staring at the painting. Was he feeling the same angst feeling he got when he saw the painting? Shishido watched as Ootori reached out and traced the calligraphy characters with his finger. The younger boy seemed to be in his own world.
“Shishido-san.”
“Eh?” Shishido snapped his attention back to Ootori.
“What,” Ootori began, but stopped. He took a deep breath before continuing. “What kind of feelings do you get from seeing this painting?”
Shishido paused for a moment as if he was thinking. “Angst,” he replied slowly.
“I see…”
“Why? Did you do this painting?”
“Yes.”
Shishido took one more look at the painting. If Ootori did this painting, why did it have so much angst? The Ootori he knew was outgoing, but shy, and happy to be around anyone. Why was the painting the opposite of that?
“Why so much angst?” he asked slowly.
Ootori’s brown eyes stared at the ground. Shishido watched, as the younger boy seemed to gather his thoughts. Whatever it was that Ootori was trying to tell him must be painful.
Finally, he spoke. “I suppose that this is how others will feel once I die.”
Shishido was shocked. Why was Ootori talking about dying so casually? “What are you talking about, Ootori? You’re only a first year in college. You’re not going to die any time sooner.”
The silver-haired boy turned around so his back was faced to Shishido. His head was bowed as if what he said was the truth. “Shishido-san, if I tell you about me, you will want me to get away from you. Are you sure you want to know about me?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” the brunette replied full of confidence. How bad could it be?
Ootori took a deep breath and began. “When I was young, I had anemia. It’s a blood condition where not enough red cells are produced. Sometimes, if I worked too hard, I would collapse and rushed to the hospital. It happened many times when I was in elementary school and I soon gave up in exercising.
“Then a classmate got me into tennis. As I played the sport, I found that I really liked it. To keep my anemia from acting up again, I focused on playing doubles. It seemed to work because I only collapsed from fatigue occasionally. For a long time, it never bothered me. I continued playing tennis, studying hard in school, and living life like a normal person. But then…” There was a pause.
“Then what?” Shishido asked.
Ootori took a deep breath and collected his thoughts. Shishido braced himself for the worst. “I was playing a tennis match and pushed myself too far. I collapsed after the match ended. After I went to the hospital, the doctors found out that I had a heart problem. The only treatment for my case was a pacemaker, but my family couldn’t afford the operation.”
The brunette took a deep breath. “And so, you’re left with that fact that you’ll die young,” he finished. “And to prevent others from being hurt, you isolate yourself.” He received a nod. Without thinking, Shishido grabbed the younger boy by the shoulders and turned him around so that they were facing each other.
Ootori blinked. “Shishido-san?”
“Ootori, you said in your painting to ‘Live every moment in life’, right? I think that’s a good philosophy, but isn’t it better if you share those moments with someone? I mean… shoots, life is never fun if you’re alone. Do you feel like you’re living your life as you are now, Choutarou?” Shishido asked using the younger boy’s first name for the first time.
Ootori blinked in surprise, but then his brown eyes softened. “Yes,” he said gently, but the brunette could tell the younger boy was lying.
Shishido shook his head. “No, you’re not. If you were really happy, this painting wouldn’t be so depressing. Didn’t you say that you drew what you felt fit your emotions?”
Ootori stared at the brunette his brown eyes with the saddest look Shishido ever saw. Shishido saw tears begin to form and he was expecting the younger student to start crying, but Ootori quickly wiped them away with his hand. He must have quit crying a long time ago.
“Don’t get me wrong, Shishido-san,” he said slowly. “I… I really do want to be your friend, but I’m afraid of how you’ll feel when… when the time comes.” His voice faulted on the last words. “I don’t want more to suffer for me.”
Shishido allowed a grin on his face. “Will you be friends with a guy who wants to suffer for you?” he asked.
Ootori stared right into the older student’s sharp eyes with disbelief, fear, and… a ray of hope. Suddenly, he pulled Shishido into an embrace. The brunette could feel tears soaking his shirt and hear soft sobs. “Thank you, Shishido-san,” Ootori whispered between sobs. Shishido smiled and hugged the younger boy stroking his back.
Maybe, for once, I can do something for myself…
TBC…