Gin no Shunkan 9/?
Title: Gin no Shunkan
Author: samurai_jun
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Pairing: Shishido/Ootori
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: AU, possible OOC, shounen-ai
Disclaimer: Not mine
Chapter 9- Silver Lining
Ootori had to stay in the hospital, but Shishido made the atmosphere warmer. After classes, the brunette would drop by and tell him the latest things going on at school. Mukahi occasionally dropped by with Shishido and the three of them would talk.
The silver-haired was happy that Hiyoshi gave him an awakening. After he realized everything he had done was hurting others, he felt so stupid and horrible that he wanted to hit himself. Then he calmed down remembering that he was acting childish and he had to focus on breaking his habit instead of what he could have done.
When he woke up at the hospital, he didn’t know where he was at first, until he noticed the IV in his arm. His parents and sister, who lived in Yokohama, were there. He was happy when none of them asked why he was running when he was instructed not to. Thankfully, the doctor wasn’t there. The four of them talked for a while before his family left to catch the train home.
Shishido arrived only a half an hour after they left. Ootori was glad, but awkward at the same time. They hadn’t spoken in a week and then suddenly they could. Shishido decided to take things slowly before he got to the point.
“Choutarou, what’s going on?”
Growing up to be honest and open, Ootori told Shishido everything about his bad habit that he found hard to give up and how he was starting to fight back. Shishido seemed pleased about that. It made him feel good, too, especially when he mentioned about the doctor that scared him in junior high. It made him feel free.
I guess, I can be a little selfish…
-X-
Shishido marched out of the hospital and passed streetlights. He had made up his mind. Being with Choutarou gave him some freedom to think and he realized that being with Atobe was never going to make him happy. Come to think of it, he didn’t know why he was with Atobe in the first place.
When Shishido first met Atobe in his first year in college, his first impression was that the business major had a gargantuan ego. Who he was dating at the time became the main gossip of the school. Shishido heard that he dated several girls within the first semester before he moved to guys. With guys, dating to Atobe was more like a one-night stand. It would start with a conversation, then dinner, then the bed, and then he left as if the night before never happened. Atobe went through numerous guys throughout Shishido’s second semester and halfway through the first semester of his second year. That was when he met Jirou.
Shishido couldn’t remember when Atobe lost interest in Jirou and became interested in him. It started with a talk, and then hanging out after classes, then having dinner, and then the bed. A new cycle began. Atobe still kept dating Jirou, but all of Atobe’s attention was lavished on Shishido. Soon, Jirou began to notice the change in Atobe’s interests and started having fights with the business major. In the end, the two of them broke up.
Upon arriving at the apartment, Shishido immediately unlocked the door and stormed inside. Atobe wasn’t home yet, thank goodness. The brunette went straight to his bedroom and began packing whatever he could shove in a sports bag. When that was full, he used the spare pockets in his tennis bag. Soon, both bags were full of necessities. Whatever Shishido couldn’t fit, he left behind, except for his guitar.
He didn’t bother leaving a note. Atobe would understand his intentions perfectly. With one last glare at the apartment that he learned to hate, Shishido heaved his stuff out of the room and shut the door.
-X-
Ootori curiously flipped through the pages of a novel pausing to read the text typed across the pages. His sister bought him the book claiming that he might like it, and she was right. Although he never took an interest in romance novels before, this one fascinated him.
The novel, Tsuki to Hoshi, was a love story between two college students, Satomi and Ruiko. It told of how they first met in junior high, were separated, and then reunited in college. It was different from other romance novels that his sister read. It was sweet, but not sappy; and beautifully written, but not to the point where it became cheesy. In short, it was a well-balanced novel.
As Ootori turned the page, there was a loud knock. “Come in,” said Ootori.
The door opened and Mukahi stuck his head in the doorway. “Hey, I came to see you.”
“Oh, Mukahi-san.”
The redhead took a seat near his bedside his eyes focused on the novel Ootori was reading. “Oh, you’re reading that?”
“Eh? Oh, yeah. My sister left it for me. It’s a beautiful story.”
“Yeah, it is…”
Ootori flipped to the front cover to check the author’s name. It was a relatively new name on the novel scene, but the silver-haired boy knew the name well. Oshitari Yuushi.
“Do you like Oshitari-san?” he asked with a smile.
“Yeah, very much. Why?”
“I can tell,” said Ootori. “Your expression tells me.”
“Oh…”
Mukahi climbed onto the bed and looked over Ootori’s shoulder as he continued reading. The room became quiet as the two continued to read the novel. The only sounds made were the machines whirring and the outside ruckus of an emergency in another ward. Someone needed a donor quickly.
“Hey, Ootori,” Mukahi said suddenly shifting off the bed.
“Yeah?”
“Can you tell me more about your condition?”
-X-
Shishido wasn’t surprised when Atobe approached him during lunch. When the business major returned home, he must have been shocked and furious that he left without a warning. Shishido pretended that he didn’t see the glaring Atobe in front of him and pretended to concentrate on the textbook open in front of him.
“We need to talk,” said Atobe in a cold voice.
“Can this wait?” asked Shishido indicating his textbook. “I’m busy.”
“No!” Atobe ordered.
Shishido sighed, but got up and followed the business major out of the cafeteria ignoring the stares that were burning holes in his back. The two walked down the hall and into an empty classroom, which Atobe locked to keep anyone out. Shishido felt no fear as Atobe turned around to face him. He was ready for anything that was thrown at him.
“Will you explain why you packed up and left while I was at a seminar?” demanded Atobe.
“Simple. I couldn’t stand you anymore,” Shishido replied coldly leaning on a desk.
“That doesn’t explain why you left without a note.”
“It explains perfectly why I left without a note. You have an insight, Atobe. I know you got the message. You just want me to grovel at your feet for forgiveness or make up some crappy excuse for you to manipulate.”
“Ryou…”
“It’s obvious that you don’t get what I’m trying to tell you, so I’ll say it. I’m through with you. Go find some other toy.”
Shishido headed for the door, but Atobe grabbed his arm before he could get away. “Let go,” he growled tugging at the firm hand on his arm.
“Ryou, you’re not a toy. I really do love you.”
“Yeah, for a few weeks. After that, you’ll move on to fresh meat, right? The people you slept with before may not have cared about you not being committed to them, but I do. And you’re too fickle to commit to me. You want passion, but I want more than that, Atobe. I want someone who will commit themselves to me for the rest of our lives.”
“Committed?” repeated Atobe in an icy voice. “There’s no such thing as commitment in love. There are only the attackers and the submissive. In love, people follow their feelings and go for someone they find that they love. There are no arguments, no disagreements, and no outside forces acting against love. Those who attack protect their love with all their might. Those who submit should enjoy their love and treasure it while it lasts.”
“You’re talking as though your love is a toy,” Shishido said. “From what I’ve learned, love doesn’t work that way. There are arguments and disagreements, but ones that can be resolved; there are outside forces, but someone faithful will always win. There’s no person that “attacks” or “submits” except in sex. Yes, people follow their feelings, but their one and only is based on what they choose. And I choose not to be with you.”
Shishido yanked his arm free of Atobe’s grip and strode to the door. He gave once last glance and said, “You know, if you had chosen to love Jirou, you wouldn’t have to face rejection. Then again, if you did, you’d never learn how it feels to not get what you want.”
With that, he closed the door. As he left to go back to the cafeteria, he could hear the faint sound of crying, but he passed it off as a girl who got rejected by her crush.
-X-
When Shishido arrived at the hospital, Ootori was asleep. Mukahi had left a long time ago leaving Tsuki to Hoshi on the chair. The room was quiet except for the sounds of the heart monitors and Choutarou’s soft breathing. Shishido found the environment peaceful even though it was a hospital ward.
Choutarou stirred softly in his bed. “Shishido-san,” he said softly.
“Hey Choutarou.”
“You’re early.”
“I know. Hey Choutarou, listen, I left Atobe,” Shishido said with a smile.
Brown eyes widened. “Really? I thought you said that it was impossible. That he was so possessive, he wouldn’t let anyone go.”
“Well, I did. I’ve actually wanted to do that for a long time. As I said before, I never actually liked Atobe. It’s just that he had this… manipulative personality that drew me in, I guess. I thought there was no way out. I have tried to leave before, but I found out that if I did leave and went to live in the dorms, I would be rooming with that psycho Kurotori.”
“Kurotori?” asked Choutarou.
“He’s a biology major and an alcoholic. Mukahi used to room with him. He told me all about him. When Kurotori gets drunk, he wants sex, and he will rape anyone near him. He will say that he loves the person more than anyone else and will even cry. I didn’t want to take my chances on another possessive pervert. I asked for a single, but all of those were taken. I had no other choice but to live with Atobe.”
“So now that you’re on your own, where are you going to live? You said so yourself that Kurotori’s dorm is the only dorm available.”
“I’ve got that all worked out,” the brunette assured the silver-haired boy. “I’m going to go look for an apartment. Mukahi told me that the apartment building he lives in with Oshitari is pretty inexpensive. I’ve already got a part-time job, so I’m all set.”
“That’s good. I’m glad you’re prepared, Shishido-san.”
Shishido could feel himself smile. He was so glad that it was all over. He never felt so free before in his life. Choutarou sure had a peculiar influence over him. So much had happened over the past few months. If there was a silver lining for Shishido, it would be that day when he saw the younger boy sketching his tennis form.
Even though he is dying, Choutarou has made a wonderful influence on who I am; and I think I’ve done the same for him. With him, I can choose.
TBC…
Author: samurai_jun
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Pairing: Shishido/Ootori
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: AU, possible OOC, shounen-ai
Disclaimer: Not mine
Chapter 9- Silver Lining
Ootori had to stay in the hospital, but Shishido made the atmosphere warmer. After classes, the brunette would drop by and tell him the latest things going on at school. Mukahi occasionally dropped by with Shishido and the three of them would talk.
The silver-haired was happy that Hiyoshi gave him an awakening. After he realized everything he had done was hurting others, he felt so stupid and horrible that he wanted to hit himself. Then he calmed down remembering that he was acting childish and he had to focus on breaking his habit instead of what he could have done.
When he woke up at the hospital, he didn’t know where he was at first, until he noticed the IV in his arm. His parents and sister, who lived in Yokohama, were there. He was happy when none of them asked why he was running when he was instructed not to. Thankfully, the doctor wasn’t there. The four of them talked for a while before his family left to catch the train home.
Shishido arrived only a half an hour after they left. Ootori was glad, but awkward at the same time. They hadn’t spoken in a week and then suddenly they could. Shishido decided to take things slowly before he got to the point.
“Choutarou, what’s going on?”
Growing up to be honest and open, Ootori told Shishido everything about his bad habit that he found hard to give up and how he was starting to fight back. Shishido seemed pleased about that. It made him feel good, too, especially when he mentioned about the doctor that scared him in junior high. It made him feel free.
I guess, I can be a little selfish…
-X-
Shishido marched out of the hospital and passed streetlights. He had made up his mind. Being with Choutarou gave him some freedom to think and he realized that being with Atobe was never going to make him happy. Come to think of it, he didn’t know why he was with Atobe in the first place.
When Shishido first met Atobe in his first year in college, his first impression was that the business major had a gargantuan ego. Who he was dating at the time became the main gossip of the school. Shishido heard that he dated several girls within the first semester before he moved to guys. With guys, dating to Atobe was more like a one-night stand. It would start with a conversation, then dinner, then the bed, and then he left as if the night before never happened. Atobe went through numerous guys throughout Shishido’s second semester and halfway through the first semester of his second year. That was when he met Jirou.
Shishido couldn’t remember when Atobe lost interest in Jirou and became interested in him. It started with a talk, and then hanging out after classes, then having dinner, and then the bed. A new cycle began. Atobe still kept dating Jirou, but all of Atobe’s attention was lavished on Shishido. Soon, Jirou began to notice the change in Atobe’s interests and started having fights with the business major. In the end, the two of them broke up.
Upon arriving at the apartment, Shishido immediately unlocked the door and stormed inside. Atobe wasn’t home yet, thank goodness. The brunette went straight to his bedroom and began packing whatever he could shove in a sports bag. When that was full, he used the spare pockets in his tennis bag. Soon, both bags were full of necessities. Whatever Shishido couldn’t fit, he left behind, except for his guitar.
He didn’t bother leaving a note. Atobe would understand his intentions perfectly. With one last glare at the apartment that he learned to hate, Shishido heaved his stuff out of the room and shut the door.
-X-
Ootori curiously flipped through the pages of a novel pausing to read the text typed across the pages. His sister bought him the book claiming that he might like it, and she was right. Although he never took an interest in romance novels before, this one fascinated him.
The novel, Tsuki to Hoshi, was a love story between two college students, Satomi and Ruiko. It told of how they first met in junior high, were separated, and then reunited in college. It was different from other romance novels that his sister read. It was sweet, but not sappy; and beautifully written, but not to the point where it became cheesy. In short, it was a well-balanced novel.
As Ootori turned the page, there was a loud knock. “Come in,” said Ootori.
The door opened and Mukahi stuck his head in the doorway. “Hey, I came to see you.”
“Oh, Mukahi-san.”
The redhead took a seat near his bedside his eyes focused on the novel Ootori was reading. “Oh, you’re reading that?”
“Eh? Oh, yeah. My sister left it for me. It’s a beautiful story.”
“Yeah, it is…”
Ootori flipped to the front cover to check the author’s name. It was a relatively new name on the novel scene, but the silver-haired boy knew the name well. Oshitari Yuushi.
“Do you like Oshitari-san?” he asked with a smile.
“Yeah, very much. Why?”
“I can tell,” said Ootori. “Your expression tells me.”
“Oh…”
Mukahi climbed onto the bed and looked over Ootori’s shoulder as he continued reading. The room became quiet as the two continued to read the novel. The only sounds made were the machines whirring and the outside ruckus of an emergency in another ward. Someone needed a donor quickly.
“Hey, Ootori,” Mukahi said suddenly shifting off the bed.
“Yeah?”
“Can you tell me more about your condition?”
-X-
Shishido wasn’t surprised when Atobe approached him during lunch. When the business major returned home, he must have been shocked and furious that he left without a warning. Shishido pretended that he didn’t see the glaring Atobe in front of him and pretended to concentrate on the textbook open in front of him.
“We need to talk,” said Atobe in a cold voice.
“Can this wait?” asked Shishido indicating his textbook. “I’m busy.”
“No!” Atobe ordered.
Shishido sighed, but got up and followed the business major out of the cafeteria ignoring the stares that were burning holes in his back. The two walked down the hall and into an empty classroom, which Atobe locked to keep anyone out. Shishido felt no fear as Atobe turned around to face him. He was ready for anything that was thrown at him.
“Will you explain why you packed up and left while I was at a seminar?” demanded Atobe.
“Simple. I couldn’t stand you anymore,” Shishido replied coldly leaning on a desk.
“That doesn’t explain why you left without a note.”
“It explains perfectly why I left without a note. You have an insight, Atobe. I know you got the message. You just want me to grovel at your feet for forgiveness or make up some crappy excuse for you to manipulate.”
“Ryou…”
“It’s obvious that you don’t get what I’m trying to tell you, so I’ll say it. I’m through with you. Go find some other toy.”
Shishido headed for the door, but Atobe grabbed his arm before he could get away. “Let go,” he growled tugging at the firm hand on his arm.
“Ryou, you’re not a toy. I really do love you.”
“Yeah, for a few weeks. After that, you’ll move on to fresh meat, right? The people you slept with before may not have cared about you not being committed to them, but I do. And you’re too fickle to commit to me. You want passion, but I want more than that, Atobe. I want someone who will commit themselves to me for the rest of our lives.”
“Committed?” repeated Atobe in an icy voice. “There’s no such thing as commitment in love. There are only the attackers and the submissive. In love, people follow their feelings and go for someone they find that they love. There are no arguments, no disagreements, and no outside forces acting against love. Those who attack protect their love with all their might. Those who submit should enjoy their love and treasure it while it lasts.”
“You’re talking as though your love is a toy,” Shishido said. “From what I’ve learned, love doesn’t work that way. There are arguments and disagreements, but ones that can be resolved; there are outside forces, but someone faithful will always win. There’s no person that “attacks” or “submits” except in sex. Yes, people follow their feelings, but their one and only is based on what they choose. And I choose not to be with you.”
Shishido yanked his arm free of Atobe’s grip and strode to the door. He gave once last glance and said, “You know, if you had chosen to love Jirou, you wouldn’t have to face rejection. Then again, if you did, you’d never learn how it feels to not get what you want.”
With that, he closed the door. As he left to go back to the cafeteria, he could hear the faint sound of crying, but he passed it off as a girl who got rejected by her crush.
-X-
When Shishido arrived at the hospital, Ootori was asleep. Mukahi had left a long time ago leaving Tsuki to Hoshi on the chair. The room was quiet except for the sounds of the heart monitors and Choutarou’s soft breathing. Shishido found the environment peaceful even though it was a hospital ward.
Choutarou stirred softly in his bed. “Shishido-san,” he said softly.
“Hey Choutarou.”
“You’re early.”
“I know. Hey Choutarou, listen, I left Atobe,” Shishido said with a smile.
Brown eyes widened. “Really? I thought you said that it was impossible. That he was so possessive, he wouldn’t let anyone go.”
“Well, I did. I’ve actually wanted to do that for a long time. As I said before, I never actually liked Atobe. It’s just that he had this… manipulative personality that drew me in, I guess. I thought there was no way out. I have tried to leave before, but I found out that if I did leave and went to live in the dorms, I would be rooming with that psycho Kurotori.”
“Kurotori?” asked Choutarou.
“He’s a biology major and an alcoholic. Mukahi used to room with him. He told me all about him. When Kurotori gets drunk, he wants sex, and he will rape anyone near him. He will say that he loves the person more than anyone else and will even cry. I didn’t want to take my chances on another possessive pervert. I asked for a single, but all of those were taken. I had no other choice but to live with Atobe.”
“So now that you’re on your own, where are you going to live? You said so yourself that Kurotori’s dorm is the only dorm available.”
“I’ve got that all worked out,” the brunette assured the silver-haired boy. “I’m going to go look for an apartment. Mukahi told me that the apartment building he lives in with Oshitari is pretty inexpensive. I’ve already got a part-time job, so I’m all set.”
“That’s good. I’m glad you’re prepared, Shishido-san.”
Shishido could feel himself smile. He was so glad that it was all over. He never felt so free before in his life. Choutarou sure had a peculiar influence over him. So much had happened over the past few months. If there was a silver lining for Shishido, it would be that day when he saw the younger boy sketching his tennis form.
Even though he is dying, Choutarou has made a wonderful influence on who I am; and I think I’ve done the same for him. With him, I can choose.
TBC…