HitsuMatsu One Shot~
Title: Sleeping Rangiku
Genre: Humor (...or Crack...or Fluff? Who knows >:D)
Characters: Hitsugaya/Matsumoto; Orihime
Spoilers: none, set in Arrancar Arc though
Summary: About Matsumoto, Fairy Tales and...Prince Toushiro? O_o
A big THANK YOU with cookies and stuff to aurorn for being my beta
Disclaimer: Me doesn't own Bleach, Kubo Tite does, so I'm not making any money with this. Oh what a world.
A/N: Actually this was a present for my sis YuryJulian, but I thought I should translate and post it, cause the world needs more Hitsu/Matsu!!! ;D Also, there's no need to see this as romantic Hitsu/Matsu (because Matsumoto likes to tease her Taichou, no matter what, right? XD) but you definitely can XDDDD
Sleeping Rangiku
It was an evening just like any other evening in Orihime’s apartment. Hitsugaya remained silent working on his papers, emitting an aura that told anyone coming close enough: “Talk to me and die”, while Matsumoto was philosophizing about her newest discoveries of the real world. There were always so many interesting things to be found, she just couldn’t understand how her taichou was able to ignore all of this.
Orihime was listening like she always did when Rangiku-san was talking, partly because of interest and partly because she didn’t want to be impolite. A week before she had not been able to interrupt her, while Matsumoto had mused about this weird movie she had seen, involving a lot of naked people, doing...
Well, Orihime had been kind of relieved when Hitsugaya had interrupted Matsumoto, telling her to “Shut up already!” This evening however, Matsumoto was particularly interested in fables and fairytales, so there wasn’t that much to worry about, even if she tended to interpret them kind of individually. “...and then - even if they had to take care of seven dwarfs which must have been pretty annoying, I think - they lived happily ever after...” She made a dreamy face and looked over at her taichou, who seemed more than just unimpressed. The fukutaichou of tenth division turned around to look at Orihime again. “Nice stories. So romantic...”
Inoue nodded. “I like them too. My brother used to read them to me, when I was little.” Feeling a bit melancholic she looked out of the window. “Children really love fairy tales.”
“That explains why you like them so much, Matsumoto.” Out of the corner in the room Hitsugaya hadn’t even looked up from his papers, but couldn’t resist making this little comment.
“What’s that supposed to mean, taichou?” Matsumoto blinked.
“Nothing, Matsumoto. Nothing.” At least he was the one who sometimes felt like dealing with a whole kindergarten group, although it was just his one fukutaichou.
Matsumoto grinned. “I know what it means. It means you have listened and want to hear another story.”
He stopped working on his papers and looked irritated at Rangiku. “No, thank you.”
“So, once upon a t-”
“Matsumoto...” Hitsugaya almost sounded as if he knew he had lost this “fight” already. Matsumoto probably wouldn’t stop, now that she was determined to tell another of her fairy tales.
“What, children love fairy tales!”
“But I’m not a CHIL-”
“It’s called Sleeping Beauty.” Hitsugaya put his head down.
“So, once upon a time...how did this one start? Ah yes, there was a king and a queen who wanted to have children, but it never really worked out.” She paused. “If you ask me, it was completely the king’s fault, not the queen’s.”
Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. So romantic.
“So anyway, one night as the queen was frustrated again because her hubby was snoring and couldn’t ‘perform’ his kingly duties, there was this frog that jumped into the bath tub she was in and promised her that she would give birth to a daughter... in less than one year. A beautiful daughter, with long strawberry blond hair, who makes every man she meets fall in love with her and...”
“Are you sure you’re telling that correctly?” Not that Hitsugaya really knew any fairy tales, but he knew Matsumoto.
“Of course!” She was shocked. “Just listen! Soon after this, the princess was born and she was so beautiful the king actually worried, if she really was his. One way or the other, he threw a huge party for everyone in the kingdom so everyone could take a look at the sweet little and beautiful child. On top of this he wanted invited the thirteen wise women of the kingdom...but aww no; he only had twelve golden plates. So, that meant that one of these women would have to stay home in front of the TV.”
Hitsugaya was sure now; Matsumoto had already stayed far too long in the real world.
“So at the party, all the wise women blessed the princess with wishes for luck, money, big boobs...and after eleven wishes, the thirteenth woman turned up at the party, complaining to the king about not being invited to this whole damn thing. If you ask me the king and that woman knew each other quite well, if you know what I mean... but whatever. The bitch turned to the princess and put a curse on her, so she would sting her finger on a spindle and die.”
“You don’t die because you sting your finger on a spindle.” Hitsugaya was officially annoyed and wanted to continue working on his papers.
“It could be poisoned or whatever. Besides, this is a fairy tale. Anything’s possible, even frogs can talk - they can’t do that here, can they?”
“Cats can.”
“Doesn’t count.”
He rolled his eyes again and let her talk.
“Fortunately, the twelfth woman hadn’t blessed the princess just yet, so she tried to help out a bit. She wished for the beautiful princess to fall asleep for one year, instead of dying.”
“Um, Rangiku-san, wasn’t that 100 years?” Inoue asked carefully.
“Uh well, she’d be an old woman when the prince finally reaches her.”
“But in fairy tales...”
“It’s fine, don’t worry. I just don’t want to risk anything.”
Hitsugaya sighed. “And why didn’t that woman wish the curse to disappear or anything?” Not that he was interested or anything.
“Taichou, that’s lame! The fairy tale needs a plot!” Matsumoto cleared her throat. “Soon after that night, the king ordered to destroy every single spindle in the whole kingdom, so there would be no chance that the very, very beautiful princess could hurt herself on one. So the years went by and when the pretty princess turned 15, the king and queen left the castle, finally seeking help at a marriage counselling. So the beautiful princess was all alone at home and decided to look around to castle; to look for the place where the king and queen kept her heritage. In one little tower, she found an old ugly woman and wondered what she was doing there.
“What are you doing?” she asked puzzled.
“I’m spinning.”
“‘I see...’ said the beautiful princess, who drove every man insane, just by taking one look at h-”
“Matsumoto...” Hitsugaya rolled his eyes.
“And she had big boobs too! Anyway, the old woman gave the princess the spindle, so she could take a look at it and BAZOOM! She stung her finger!”
“She just takes a look at it and stings her finger? How clumsy can you be?”
“She just isn’t that good with housework.” Matsumoto pouted. “That’s nothing special.”
“Of course.”
“You’re mean, taichou. Anyway, the old woman ran away laughing, as she saw the pretty princess falling down on the bed that stood nearby.
“Coincidentally, there was a bed nearby, right?”
“Exactly, now shh! I want to go on. Of course that old woman was that bitch from that party; whom, during these fifteen years, had grown bitter and lived together with 24 cats. What she didn’t know was the unbelievably pretty beauty - the princess I mean -”
“I think we got it”, grumbled Hitsugaya.
“- She was simply sleeping. All of a sudden, the whole castle fell into sleep as well and a huge hedge of roses grew all around it.”
“In less than one year, yes?”
“Taichou, please stop making these comments, you want to hear this story, not me!”
“What?”
“So shhh! Soon after this, a rumour was spreading that there was a beautiful princess sleeping in the castle and this attracted a lot of...young men who didn’t want to miss this opportunity to - is this story really meant for children?”
“A-actually it is.” Inoue laughed nervously.
“Okay fine...all the men failed to cut through the hedge or got stuck in it or whatever...but there was one pretty, young, young man, who wasn’t afraid of the hedge. He wasn’t all that tall, pretty small actually, but the princess didn’t mind at all.”
“How do you know that, Rangiku-san, if she’s still sleeping?”
Hitsugaya made an unimpressed face. “Don’t ask.”
Matsumoto grinned. “He had white hair and...”
“Why don’t you make it even more obvious?!” Hitsugaya shouted and blushed.
“Do you think so? Should I call him Prince Toushirou?” The red colour on Hitsugaya’s face grew more intense.
“So it’s Sleeping Rangiku then? Okay, Prince Toushirou took his Zanpakutou and cut through the hedge with ease and when he found Sleeping Rangiku, he bent over and ki-”
“I’m going for a walk!”
“Taichou, you’re going to miss the end if-” The door was shut and Hitsugaya was gone. And so they lived happily ever after...or something like that.
END
crossposted to hitsumatsu and kurosaki_clinic
Genre: Humor (...or Crack...or Fluff? Who knows >:D)
Characters: Hitsugaya/Matsumoto; Orihime
Spoilers: none, set in Arrancar Arc though
Summary: About Matsumoto, Fairy Tales and...Prince Toushiro? O_o
A big THANK YOU with cookies and stuff to aurorn for being my beta
Disclaimer: Me doesn't own Bleach, Kubo Tite does, so I'm not making any money with this. Oh what a world.
A/N: Actually this was a present for my sis YuryJulian, but I thought I should translate and post it, cause the world needs more Hitsu/Matsu!!! ;D Also, there's no need to see this as romantic Hitsu/Matsu (because Matsumoto likes to tease her Taichou, no matter what, right? XD) but you definitely can XDDDD
Sleeping Rangiku
It was an evening just like any other evening in Orihime’s apartment. Hitsugaya remained silent working on his papers, emitting an aura that told anyone coming close enough: “Talk to me and die”, while Matsumoto was philosophizing about her newest discoveries of the real world. There were always so many interesting things to be found, she just couldn’t understand how her taichou was able to ignore all of this.
Orihime was listening like she always did when Rangiku-san was talking, partly because of interest and partly because she didn’t want to be impolite. A week before she had not been able to interrupt her, while Matsumoto had mused about this weird movie she had seen, involving a lot of naked people, doing...
Well, Orihime had been kind of relieved when Hitsugaya had interrupted Matsumoto, telling her to “Shut up already!” This evening however, Matsumoto was particularly interested in fables and fairytales, so there wasn’t that much to worry about, even if she tended to interpret them kind of individually. “...and then - even if they had to take care of seven dwarfs which must have been pretty annoying, I think - they lived happily ever after...” She made a dreamy face and looked over at her taichou, who seemed more than just unimpressed. The fukutaichou of tenth division turned around to look at Orihime again. “Nice stories. So romantic...”
Inoue nodded. “I like them too. My brother used to read them to me, when I was little.” Feeling a bit melancholic she looked out of the window. “Children really love fairy tales.”
“That explains why you like them so much, Matsumoto.” Out of the corner in the room Hitsugaya hadn’t even looked up from his papers, but couldn’t resist making this little comment.
“What’s that supposed to mean, taichou?” Matsumoto blinked.
“Nothing, Matsumoto. Nothing.” At least he was the one who sometimes felt like dealing with a whole kindergarten group, although it was just his one fukutaichou.
Matsumoto grinned. “I know what it means. It means you have listened and want to hear another story.”
He stopped working on his papers and looked irritated at Rangiku. “No, thank you.”
“So, once upon a t-”
“Matsumoto...” Hitsugaya almost sounded as if he knew he had lost this “fight” already. Matsumoto probably wouldn’t stop, now that she was determined to tell another of her fairy tales.
“What, children love fairy tales!”
“But I’m not a CHIL-”
“It’s called Sleeping Beauty.” Hitsugaya put his head down.
“So, once upon a time...how did this one start? Ah yes, there was a king and a queen who wanted to have children, but it never really worked out.” She paused. “If you ask me, it was completely the king’s fault, not the queen’s.”
Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. So romantic.
“So anyway, one night as the queen was frustrated again because her hubby was snoring and couldn’t ‘perform’ his kingly duties, there was this frog that jumped into the bath tub she was in and promised her that she would give birth to a daughter... in less than one year. A beautiful daughter, with long strawberry blond hair, who makes every man she meets fall in love with her and...”
“Are you sure you’re telling that correctly?” Not that Hitsugaya really knew any fairy tales, but he knew Matsumoto.
“Of course!” She was shocked. “Just listen! Soon after this, the princess was born and she was so beautiful the king actually worried, if she really was his. One way or the other, he threw a huge party for everyone in the kingdom so everyone could take a look at the sweet little and beautiful child. On top of this he wanted invited the thirteen wise women of the kingdom...but aww no; he only had twelve golden plates. So, that meant that one of these women would have to stay home in front of the TV.”
Hitsugaya was sure now; Matsumoto had already stayed far too long in the real world.
“So at the party, all the wise women blessed the princess with wishes for luck, money, big boobs...and after eleven wishes, the thirteenth woman turned up at the party, complaining to the king about not being invited to this whole damn thing. If you ask me the king and that woman knew each other quite well, if you know what I mean... but whatever. The bitch turned to the princess and put a curse on her, so she would sting her finger on a spindle and die.”
“You don’t die because you sting your finger on a spindle.” Hitsugaya was officially annoyed and wanted to continue working on his papers.
“It could be poisoned or whatever. Besides, this is a fairy tale. Anything’s possible, even frogs can talk - they can’t do that here, can they?”
“Cats can.”
“Doesn’t count.”
He rolled his eyes again and let her talk.
“Fortunately, the twelfth woman hadn’t blessed the princess just yet, so she tried to help out a bit. She wished for the beautiful princess to fall asleep for one year, instead of dying.”
“Um, Rangiku-san, wasn’t that 100 years?” Inoue asked carefully.
“Uh well, she’d be an old woman when the prince finally reaches her.”
“But in fairy tales...”
“It’s fine, don’t worry. I just don’t want to risk anything.”
Hitsugaya sighed. “And why didn’t that woman wish the curse to disappear or anything?” Not that he was interested or anything.
“Taichou, that’s lame! The fairy tale needs a plot!” Matsumoto cleared her throat. “Soon after that night, the king ordered to destroy every single spindle in the whole kingdom, so there would be no chance that the very, very beautiful princess could hurt herself on one. So the years went by and when the pretty princess turned 15, the king and queen left the castle, finally seeking help at a marriage counselling. So the beautiful princess was all alone at home and decided to look around to castle; to look for the place where the king and queen kept her heritage. In one little tower, she found an old ugly woman and wondered what she was doing there.
“What are you doing?” she asked puzzled.
“I’m spinning.”
“‘I see...’ said the beautiful princess, who drove every man insane, just by taking one look at h-”
“Matsumoto...” Hitsugaya rolled his eyes.
“And she had big boobs too! Anyway, the old woman gave the princess the spindle, so she could take a look at it and BAZOOM! She stung her finger!”
“She just takes a look at it and stings her finger? How clumsy can you be?”
“She just isn’t that good with housework.” Matsumoto pouted. “That’s nothing special.”
“Of course.”
“You’re mean, taichou. Anyway, the old woman ran away laughing, as she saw the pretty princess falling down on the bed that stood nearby.
“Coincidentally, there was a bed nearby, right?”
“Exactly, now shh! I want to go on. Of course that old woman was that bitch from that party; whom, during these fifteen years, had grown bitter and lived together with 24 cats. What she didn’t know was the unbelievably pretty beauty - the princess I mean -”
“I think we got it”, grumbled Hitsugaya.
“- She was simply sleeping. All of a sudden, the whole castle fell into sleep as well and a huge hedge of roses grew all around it.”
“In less than one year, yes?”
“Taichou, please stop making these comments, you want to hear this story, not me!”
“What?”
“So shhh! Soon after this, a rumour was spreading that there was a beautiful princess sleeping in the castle and this attracted a lot of...young men who didn’t want to miss this opportunity to - is this story really meant for children?”
“A-actually it is.” Inoue laughed nervously.
“Okay fine...all the men failed to cut through the hedge or got stuck in it or whatever...but there was one pretty, young, young man, who wasn’t afraid of the hedge. He wasn’t all that tall, pretty small actually, but the princess didn’t mind at all.”
“How do you know that, Rangiku-san, if she’s still sleeping?”
Hitsugaya made an unimpressed face. “Don’t ask.”
Matsumoto grinned. “He had white hair and...”
“Why don’t you make it even more obvious?!” Hitsugaya shouted and blushed.
“Do you think so? Should I call him Prince Toushirou?” The red colour on Hitsugaya’s face grew more intense.
“So it’s Sleeping Rangiku then? Okay, Prince Toushirou took his Zanpakutou and cut through the hedge with ease and when he found Sleeping Rangiku, he bent over and ki-”
“I’m going for a walk!”
“Taichou, you’re going to miss the end if-” The door was shut and Hitsugaya was gone. And so they lived happily ever after...or something like that.
END
crossposted to hitsumatsu and kurosaki_clinic