never again with you

[sanbernadino]

people, people, people! stop asking me why i don't have a boyfriend! i don't know why i don't have a boyfriend. if i knew, don't you think i'd have that issue resolved and a strapping man between the ages of 20 and 24 would be attached to my arm?! there isn't anything majorly wrong with, i just haven't found anyone yet. stop making me feel lame by

Comments

My sentiments exactly...

[mitymite]

Just letting you know you're not alone in that department... There's no telling what I might do to the next person who asks me!

[anonymous]

you kissed two more guys after me? i thought i meant something to you! it might be a game to you, but i thought it was true love. i told my mother about you, and my parents are dying to meet you. my little sister was so excited about the big sister she never had. but then you had to lock lips with those other lobsters, and ruin everything. i hope youre happy. we could have been something. i like chick flicks and flowers. but i guess that's just a side of me you'll never know.

Sincerely,
Jilted First Boy You Kissed

P.S. is it because i'm fat?

[anonymous]

Sup baby! that was a far-out time we had last night. i like smooching you more than i do a clammy oyster. we got to repeat that, fo shizzle. and if you got any hot friends, dude, i'm down for dat shit. anyway mama, i gotta get back to my bitchin' frat so we can toilet paper the dean's house. keep it real, baby.

Yeah,
Second Guy You Kissed

[anonymous]

I just got out of Law and Medical School and I am now a productive member of society. I make $700,000 a week, and own most of Africa. My mother is the Queen of England, and I will be knighted for my services in Iraq. I won 5 purple hearts and was on the cover of People's magazine for the hottest man in the free world. I said no to Princess Mia, but maybe I'll say yes to you if you have the courage to call me the next day.

Royally Yours,
Prince William

P.S. that was a sweet lip-lock last night baby!

Uhh...

[renlds]

I made out with an Emu last night. She wanted more, but I didn't really understand how the sex organs worked...

so....