Comments | sand_n_pebbles: words hurt, depression is brutal

sand_n_pebbles

words hurt, depression is brutal

Jul 24, 2008 21:54

do you want the god's honest truth? i am not fine. i am not by any means or definition of fine. there is no fucking way that i am fucking fine because i just spent the last fifteen minutes of my shower crying. i can't even summon up the energy to recreate in here half the things that were going through my head ( Read more... )

depression, men, life

Comments 4

niuxita21 July 25 2008, 02:59:14 UTC

OH HONEY ( ... )

sand_n_pebbles July 29 2008, 00:13:17 UTC

thank you, jimena. i know it took me awhile to respond, but i tend to stay away from communications after a public meltdown. it means a lot that you've replied.

we need to give ourselves more credit. we're both in prof writing and we're both in uni. that's a big accomplishment in the first place. and we might not be alone forever. i'm still sad about still not being in love, but it makes me feel better that there is someone else out there who is in the same position as i am. before, i had no faith that there would be someone else who hasn't had a boyfriend.

and i feel like i wasn't being as good of a friend as i could have been last yr. i hope you're not mad about that.

niuxita21 July 29 2008, 02:51:55 UTC

Don't worry about it. I know you don't frequent LJ all that often, but I still wanted to get my words to you because I knew you'd at least read them. :)

I'm glad I could make you not feel so alone anymore. I never talk about it, but reading this and knowing I wasn't the only one made me feel a lot better, so I thought I'd return the favour. And yes, I agree with you that being a third-year uni student is way more valuable than how many romantic partners you've had. :)

And I'm most definitely not mad at you. I'm just happy that we still talk after two years and that you'll probably still say hi to me when we meet randomly on campus next year even if we don't take the same classes and that's enough for me because after two years in Canada I can count on the fingers of one hand the friends I've made so it just makes me feel better.

I know x__kiss0fl0ve July 29 2008, 00:28:07 UTC

I'm not going to sit here and tell you "it'll be okay" like everybody else does, because I know better than that. I've been suffering with stuff like this for 5 years now and feeling depressed is still very much a part of my life. What I will tell you is, eventually you learn not to let it control you or define who you are. You learn to take a hold of it and just tell it to "fuck off" cause it's not going to ruin everything you have. I felt miserable for a long time in my life and I used to cut and I used to burn myself, anything to make me feel better and it took a long time before I could stop because for me, that was the only thing that took the pain away, but now I know that there are so many things I can do and people I can turn to and I appreciate it so much. This is a part of your life now. Feeling low and feeling down, but you need to take it by the balls and do whatever you can to try and make the best of it. I know this comment might sound horrible and I truly apologize if it does, I'm just trying to be realistic. I' ( ... )