Beholder, Ch. 1, NC-17, RPS, AU, Jensen/Jared

[sandymg]

Two adoptions meant today was a pretty darn good day. Jared sat at his small desk, legs out to the side because they didn’t fit properly underneath - collateral damage of being six-foot-four and change. The remaining paperwork would take a half hour or so to complete. He yawned, rubbed his eyes, and went back to working at the aging CRT monitor. The room was lit by the florescent overhead but the small table lamp provided necessary light for the task at hand. Yep, thirty more minutes and he could lock up, head for home, and maybe catch a little TV before sinking into his warm, cozy bed.

Jared ran a hand through his hair (in need of a haircut as always) and had just taken a slow swallow of the still-hot coffee from the ancient, yet amazingly still functional Mr. Coffee machine when a loud thud made him jump. What the …? He raced toward the back door where he heard voices and growling. Someone must be bringing in a stray. Sounded pretty vicious from the sound of it.

His thick gloves were in the exam room but there wasn’t time to grab them as he heard the shouting get louder. He pulled open the door expecting to be faced with snarling fur. There was snarling all right. Only not so much fur. Two men were holding onto a third - a figure hunched and struggling between them, enveloped in a too-big, filthy, hooded jacket. His face was obscured by the hood. The rest was covered by what looked like years of dirt and grime. Clearly this was a homeless person. But why? Surely these men didn’t think this was a homeless shelter.

He started to quickly explain. “Hey. Fellas. This isn’t that kind of shelter. It’s an anim-“

The taller of the two holding onto the growling, squirming man gave a shrug. Both had tawny skin and were of a nondescript nationality. The shorter one blurted, “Shelter.” He had some sort of accent that Jared couldn’t place.

“No. Yes, we’re a shelter. But for animals.” The men stared at him with puzzled gazes. Shit, maybe they didn’t understand English. “Dogs and cats. Not people. Not him,” Jared gestured wildly.

The taller of the two let go of the writhing homeless man. He slumped and seemed to fold even deeper into himself. The snarling grew lower. Christ, he really did sound like an animal.

“Shelter,” the shorter man repeated, pointing to the building. He looked over the homeless guy’s head to his companion. Some silent communication must have passed because he also let go of the man’s arm.

“Beast,” the larger man said with a look of disgust. He kicked the defenseless man in the leg with his booted foot. The homeless man whimpered and stumbled against the brick wall.

Jared jumped. “Hey! Don’t …” But his objection was too late because the two men were walking away. Jared stood stock still. He was glad they were going because he didn’t want them hurting this man anymore. But … they were leaving him here. He sucked in air.

The homeless man was pressed up against the wall on the side of the building. He’d shrunk himself into a half crouch that resembled nothing so much as a cornered animal. Jared approached slowly and stooped to make himself less threatening. “Hey,” he said softly. “I’m Jared. What’s your name?”

The man pressed tighter to the wall and snarled.

This was going well, Jared thought on a sigh. God, they’d called him a beast. How did someone get in this condition? Jared wondered how long this person had been living on the streets? How he’d ended up with the two men who dumped him here? And most of all, what the hell was Jared going to do with him?

He tried again.

“Um. Are you hungry? I’ve got coffee inside and … candy.” He felt like an idiot. But that was all he had inside. Aside from dog treats and cat nip. A flare of anger coursed his blood again at the way the bigger man had kicked this poor soul. No living creature deserved to be treated that way.

“Grrr.”

Jared didn’t know if this was a sign of hunger or not. Straightening while trying to still minimize his height, he put his hand out really slowly. “Come inside. Please. At least it’ll be warmer.”

The night held a chill and the wind was picking up. it would be getting colder soon. He needed to get to his computer and look up the closest homeless shelter where he could take this poor guy. Although he didn’t know if the man would go with him. But he couldn’t leave him here outside his back door.

Jared kept motioning inside with his hand. “Please. I won’t hurt you. I promise. Coffee and food and then we’ll see about finding you somewhere safe for the night. Okay?”

He stepped closer to the doorway and watched the other man slowly uncurl. He was taller than Jared had first realized. At least six feet. Maybe a little more. Besides the hoodie he wore baggie cargo pants and dilapidated boots, the soles held on with duct tape. Everything about him was six dirt layers beyond filthy. The stench reached Jared as the man got closer. God. The mangiest dogs dragged in here smelled better.

Jared swallowed and fought the stab in his gut. How did someone get this way?

He tried communicating again. “I’m Jared. What’s your name?”

No response, not even a grunt as they entered the shelter.

The man’s head darted warily, looking around the small office at the too-small desk with the old computer, the rickety chair and wall of filing cabinets. The florescent light blinked sporadically. He could see the man reacting to the flickering, which Jared had gotten so used to that he didn’t even notice anymore. He quickly switched off the overhead, leaving the room lit by the lamp and the glow from the computer monitor. “I’m sorry. That can be annoying, I know. Is this better?”

A small ‘mmm’ sound greeted him. Jared guessed that meant ‘yes.’

He walked to the Mr. Coffee and poured another mug. “Do you want creamer? Sugar?”

A tiny negative shake of the hoodie and long fingers encrusted with grime edged out from the tattered sleeve. Jared handed the mug over with the coffee black. At least it was warm.

The mug disappeared under the hoodie.

“You could take that off, if you wish.”

There was no reply. Just the soft sound of swallowing and a pleasurable ‘mmm’.

“What can I call you?” Jared knew he was getting repetitive but he couldn’t go around calling him ‘homeless man.’ He didn’t really like thinking of him that way, either, even if it were true.

“B’st.”

“What?” Jared said.

The man used the hand not holding the coffee mug to point out the door, then back to himself and then uttered again, “Bee … st.”

“No!” His unconscious anger caused the man to cower and Jared forced his voice calmer. “No. That’s what they called you. I’m not … that’s not your name. Do you know your name?”

The other man tilted his head. The hoodie moved. Jared really wished he’d just pull it down. It was disconcerting to stare into that dark oval. Jared imitated the man’s own technique, pointing to his own chest and saying slowly, “Jared.”

Jared felt the intense stare from the unseen eyes. The silence hung between them.

“Okay, never mind. Are you hungry? I have a stash of candy bars. Sorry there’s nothing healthier. I’ve got a bit of a sweet tooth.” He stopped his nervous ramble and pulled a Snickers bar from the small top drawer. It was snatched quickly from his fingers and disappeared, wrapper and all, into the shadow of the hoodie.

“No. You need to-“ But it was too late. He heard tearing. Bits of paper and chocolate burst forth as the homeless man devoured the candy bar. The thought ‘beast’ flitted through his mind before he could stop himself. Jared curled his fists, digging his fingers into his own palms. No. This man was hungry. If Jared, himself, ever got that hungry his eating habits wouldn’t be much better. Silently he pulled out the rest of the candy he had in his drawer and left a small pile on the corner of the desk.

He pointed. “Take as much as you want.”

With a growl, the rest were disposed of as quickly as the first. Jared hoped eating the wrappers wouldn’t make the guy sick. Sitting back at his computer he opened his browser and searched for homeless shelters in the area. He dialed the first number on the list. They didn’t answer. Great. The second number did answer but had no beds. The third number was disconnected. The fourth and last number informed him they had a ‘waiting list.’

“But. I have this person here now. And I can’t … you don’t understand, he was brought here by mistake. This is an animal shelter - we have kennels … we aren’t equipped for … people.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t help you. Have you tried the Pine Street Shelter?”

“Yes. They also have no beds. I don’t understand … what do you with … what if I’d just brought him over?”

“We don’t open our doors after hours.”

“What?!”

“It’s for the safety of our residents. You have to sign up and register for temporary shelter. We provide basic services and work to help individuals find a place of their own or reunite them with family. Bring your friend over Monday morning and we’ll take his information and put him on the list. We’ll get back to him within a few days and see what we can-“

It was Friday night. “Monday?! What am I supposed to do with him in the meantime?”

There was a moment of silence. “I’m sorry. If you bring him in on Monday, we’ll see what we can do. Goodbye.”

The silence turned into a dial tone. Jared stared helplessly at the phone in his hand. A murmur caught his attention.

“Go …” The man pointed toward himself and then at the door.

The relief flared for a millisecond. Let him just disappear back into the darkness he came from. “N-no. No. I … “ He what? What the hell was he supposed to do with him? Lock him up in a cage? In the end, there was only one choice. Jared grabbed his jacket from the peg on the wall. “C’mon. You can come home with me for now. Then, we’ll see about finding somewhere that can take care of you.”

Jared didn’t let himself think about how he’d have to fumigate his apartment after this. And Sandy? She wouldn’t … better not think about that. She wasn’t home, thank goodness. She was visiting her folks and wouldn’t be back until late Monday. She’d had issues with the stray animals he’d kept in their place overnight a few times. He looked at the strange creature in front of him. No. This. She would never understand.



The homeless man was strange. Okay. Understatement of the century. Jared needed to keep reminding himself that there was a human being under there. He didn’t have a clue how old the guy was. He tried to guess from the little glimpse of his hands and the pitch of his voice but it was impossible. He figured anywhere between early twenties and early forties. There was no way to tell unless Jared got him to peel off some layers. And that was proving impossible.

After a bit of coaxing he’d managed to get the man to follow him outside and walk slowly a little behind him. That subservient position bothered Jared but each time he slowed down and tried to walk side-by-side, the guy would slow down further until he was again a step or two back. Finally, Jared gave up.

At the door to his apartment building the man cowered again. Jared spoke softly and kept saying it was fine and that there was food inside and that he’d be safe. There was a long pause in which the man shivered. Jared felt that shudder as if he’d been shaken himself. What could turn someone into this? He couldn’t imagine.

They worked their way to Jared’s fifth floor walk up. Thank goodness it had gotten quite late and nobody was around. He glanced at his hooded companion. Definitely the mangiest stray he’d ever brought back. The thought instantly brought a self-chastisement. No. Not a beast. A man. Jared noted that the guy handled the stairs well. Had to be used to walking.

Once inside the apartment, Jared considered. He really didn’t want the guy on his couch. The smell would never come out. He was trying to do the right thing but there were limits. He grabbed his counter stool and offered the stranger a seat.

The guy looked from it back to Jared and ultimately ignored the stool, instead sinking down to the wood floor. He wrapped his arms around his knees, tucked his head in, and made himself as small as possible, rocking lightly. He looked about five years old in this position.

Jared set to work in the tiny galley kitchen, making some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It was the quickest he could do on short notice. He offered a paper plate with two sandwiches to his houseguest. The dirty hand came out and took the plate. At least he consumed the sandwiches more slowly than the candy bars.

Jared held his own plate, looked at the small eating counter and then impulsively decided to sit on the floor facing the strange man. He could tell by the tilt of the hood that the man was watching him. Sandwiches done, Jared stretched his long legs and stood.

“Want some milk? I always like milk with my PB and J.” He didn’t wait for an answer, just poured them both tall glasses.

It was incongruous watching the glass of white milk disappear into the dark hood. As the man’s head tilted up to swallow for a second Jared caught a sliver of a scraggly ginger beard.

“Hey, it’s warm in here. Why not take off your jacket?”

The man stood and handed the glass back to Jared before wrapped his arms protectively around himself again. Jared grabbed his own discarded jacket and mimicked putting it on, then off. He indicated with his hands that the man should remove his hood.

Frantic head shaking ensued.

“Okay. Okay. It’s fine. You don’t have to take it off. I just … I thought maybe.”

Inspiration hit. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” Jared disappeared into the bedroom. He rummaged through his closet shelf and found a hooded jacket much like the man was wearing - only not a biohazard. He grabbed a clean tee-shirt, sweats and boxers as well.

He offered them to the figure still huddled up to the wall. “Here. See. Just like yours. You can put this on instead. They’re clean. And you’re smaller than me so they’ll definitely fit. Nice and loose, just like yours are now.”

Jared put the pile of clean clothes down. The hoodie tilted again. Jared took this to be the man’s considering pose. “Do you want … privacy? I can go-or better yet. Here. Follow me, you can change in there.” Jared pointed toward his open bedroom door. No reaction. What was better? Should Jared go into the bedroom and let the man change out here? Was it scary for him to go into the other room? God, what had happened to the poor guy?

The man stood ignoring the clothes. His feet twisted oddly, little boy like. He shifted his weight side to side.

A flash of intuition. “Do you have to go to the bathroom?” Jared didn’t wait for an answer, just opened the bathroom door and waved his unusual guest inside. He picked up the clothes. “You can change in here, too.” Jared eyed the shower, fought a wave of disgust at the thought of all that grime in his clean bathtub. “You can take a bath. Or a shower.”

The man proceeded to piss in the toilet without bothering to close the door, this lack of modesty at total odds with his unwillingness to even remove his jacket. When done he turned back toward the open doorway and stood there. Jared realized he’d yet to see the other man’s eyes.

Jared entered the bathroom after pulling out a towel and washcloth from the closet. He tried to not crowd but the room was small. Up close the stranger’s stench was just about unbearable. God, did this man need a bath. He put the clean clothes on the floor and turned on the shower, closing the curtain to stop the water from splashing out.

“Wash,” Jared said, mimicking the action with his hand. “The water’s warm. You can get clean.” He pointed once more to the tub, then turned and walked out, shutting but not locking the door behind him. He needed to be able to get in if anything went wrong.

At first he heard nothing. Then slowly there was a rustling and he heard the shower curtain shifting. Jared let out a breath. He’d have to clean out that tub with an entire bottle of bathroom cleanser after this, but it was worth it. It took a second before Jared realized that he was smiling.

The water shut off about twenty minutes later. Five minutes after that the guy came back out. He wore Jared’s tee-shirt and sweats. Over it was the partially zipped jacket, hood forward, still concealing his face. His feet were bare and clean and Jared found himself captivated by the pink skin. As if sensing the scrutiny, the man scrunched his toes on the wood floor.

Jared disappeared into his bedroom again and returned with a pair of socks. “Here. I forgot these. Sorry.”

Clean hands reached out to take them and Jared couldn’t help but stare. The homeless man’s fingers were lean and straight. He must have found Jared’s clippers because his nails were neatly trimmed. A shock of surprise raced through Jared and that’s when he realized that he’d been expecting something else. Something like claws, he realized with self disgust. He looked up and sensed the man’s eyes on him again although they were obscured by the hood.

A  lone finger moved and pointed inward, poking his own chest gently. “J’nsen.”

“Jensen?” Jared’s heart pounded.

The man nodded. Jared didn’t know if this was an unusual first name or his last name. He considered. Well, the man was rather unusual. Jared smiled until his dimples came out, he had finally made progress. The man, Jensen, tilted his hooded head slightly. Jared imagined a returned smile.

Jensen dropped down to the floor and quickly donned the socks, then folded into his scrunched position next to the bathroom door and remained still except for the slight rocking. Jared fought the absurd urge to squeeze down next to him and take him in a hug.

Instead he headed into the bathroom to take care of the damage. Jensen’s discarded clothes lay in a heap on the floor. The used bath towel hung on the shower rod to dry. And the tub was clean. He did a double take. It was cleaner than he’d ever seen it. He looked around and spotted his bathroom cleaner and a dirty but neatly folded washcloth on the floor near the toilet. Impulsively, he looked in the toilet and noticed that it had been cleaned as well. The brush he kept next to it was still moist.

“Hey, man, thanks … you didn’t have-“ The words caught in Jared’s throat. Jensen lay on the floor, just outside the bathroom door, curled up in a fetal position. From the soft huffing from beneath the hood, he was asleep.

Jared sucked in a breath as his eyes pricked with hot liquid. It was like someone had left an overgrown baby on his doorstep. Running the animal shelter, Jared had seen his share of misfortune. But this was the most heartbreaking thing he’d ever seen.

He draped a throw blanket gently around the sleeping form, careful not to disturb. Jared had always considered himself more compassionate than emotional but this … this just … He swallowed again. Quickly he got himself ready for bed, then with a last look at Jensen, settled guiltily in his own clean sheets and soft, giving mattress. He was dead tired but it took several calming breaths before he finally shook the evening’s strange emotions off and fell asleep.



The shriek was as shocking as a siren in a monastery. Jared leapt up, heart tripping, practically falling out of bed in his adrenaline rush. He ran out of his room in time to glimpse dark blonde hair disappearing into the gray hood. Sandy stood in front of Jensen, screaming. Jensen darted to the side, snarling low, looking to escape but Sandy was shifting too, and they were caught in a mirror-like dance unable to get past each other.

As reality crashed in, Jared tried to perform damage control. “Sandy!” he shouted trying to cut through the din. “Stop. You’re scaring him.”

He could tell the minute she registered Jared’s presence. “Jay … what? There’s a … a … don’t just stand there, get a bat or something!” She rose to her full five-foot-two inches and raised her heart-shaped face up to him, hysteria edging her voice.

Laughing probably wasn’t the smartest thing Jared had ever done.

Jensen stopped moving at the sound of Jared’s laughter. His snarl diminished into a questioning whimper. In fact, there was a startling similarity in the sounds Sandy and Jensen were both making.

“Honey. Stop. He’s not going to hurt you. His name is Jensen. And he … just needed a place to spend the night.”

She quickly skirted around the now-still Jensen and just about jumped into Jared’s arms. “Hush. It’s okay now darlin’. I’m sorry you got frightened.” He held her back a step. “But what are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming home until Monday night.”

Huge brown eyes met his. He flipped a loose curly hair away from her face. “I wanted to surprise you by coming home early. I … missed you. I didn’t think … Who is that, Jared?”

The question caught Jared off guard. There was no way he could tell Sandy the truth - she just wouldn’t … “He’s, um, a friend. And he showed up unexpectedly and needed a place to crash and since you were away I thought it would be okay …”

“But Jared … what’s wrong with him?” Her voice got lower. “His face …”

Jared stared at her. “You saw his face?” That’s when Jared remembered that flash of hair he’d glimpsed before the hood was back in place.

She nodded, turned away from Jensen. “For a second. It was wild, like an animal.”

“Sandy. That’s not very nice.”

“Bee-st.”

The sudden soft baritone caught them both by surprise and Jared spun back to Jensen. “No. You’re not. She didn’t mean it.” He turned back to Sandy, anger flashing. “Sandy, how could you--?”

Her eyes slitted. “How could I? How could you bring this … person … into my home without asking me first? How stupid do you think I am? This isn’t some friend of yours. It’s a freaking stray! Where’d you find him?”

Jared really didn’t want to get into this. He ignored Sandy and walked into the kitchen to make coffee. Give her a few minutes to calm down. Jensen liked coffee so Jared poured extra into the filter. Once it was brewing he pulled out two mugs. After a pause he pulled out a third for Sandy.

Finally, he addressed his girlfriend. “He’s not a stray. He’s a man. And he needed a place to stay.”

She twisted her face in disgust and turned to stare at Jensen. The other man quickly took a step back, went into his defensive bent-legged position and let out something like a hissy snarl.

Ignoring him she stalked into the bathroom. “What the hell is that smell?”

Crap. She’d found Jensen’s clothes. Jared had meant to bag them last night but exhaustion had taken over and he’d forgotten. Sandy slammed back out of the bathroom and got right up to Jared’s chest. “That’s it. You have a bleeding heart the size of your home state and I say, fine. It’s sweet. It’s why I love you. But this is too much.” Her voice rose raggedly. “You let that … that thing in my home?! Heaven knows what kinds of diseases he has. His clothes need to be burned, for chrissake! I hope to god you didn’t let him sit on the furniture!”

“Sandy. Stop. He can hear you!”

“I don’t care. What I need is for you to hear me. I’ve been patient, Jared. You waste your degree running that ragtag animal shelter and I support you. We can’t afford to live anywhere beyond this … and I say nothing. You bring home blind kittens and deaf dogs and one-legged parakeets and I deal. But this is just too much.” She drew in a deep breath, clearly determined to regain her composure so her argument would be effective. “You’re right, Jared, he’s not a pet. He’s a grown man in horrible shape. You can’t neuter him and find him some family to live with. He’s probably mentally ill.” Her patience started to wane again. “He has to go. He can’t stay here. He should never have been here in the first place! Jared, you brought this … stranger … into our home, let him near my things, alone with you all night long. He could’ve hurt you … could’ve … ”

“I couldn’t leave him, Sandy. Two guys dumped him on the doorstep. They thought we were a homeless shelter, I guess. I called around - no one - Sandy, I couldn’t throw him back on the street.”

She stared at him as if he were speaking a foreign language before picking up her handbag from where it had fallen on the floor. Finally she said, “I’m going over to Sophia’s. Please have him out of here before I get back.”

“But-“

“No. Jared. This is unacceptable. Stray animals are one thing. But stray people … Deep down, you know I’m right.”

She was out the door before Jared could say another word.

Damn.

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed deeply. Quick breathing behind him made him turn. Jensen was back on the floor doing his rocking thing. Jared stepped over without thinking and squatted down. “It’s okay. You don’t have to go anywhere. I won’t - we’ll find you someplace safe. Where they’ll take care of you.”

Jared’s attempt to be soothing had the opposite effect - Jensen started rocking harder and shivered again. Jared tensed inside. How many years had Jensen been lost within the system? Clearly it had never been able to take care of him. A really bad feeling came over him as he imagined someone as fragile as this in a huge, mindless bureaucracy. There’d been dogs he hadn’t been able to save because the paperwork couldn’t be done fast enough. Because of screw-ups. Because not caring was so much easier.

“You don’t have to go anywhere,” Jared repeated. “You don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to go.”

Jensen stilled and Jared rose and poured him a cup of coffee. As Jared returned with the steaming mug Jensen stood up. His hand came out. “Still want it black?”

The hood nodded yes and the mug disappeared into the shadows. Jared fixed his own coffee, black but extra sweet and motioned for Jensen to join him on the couch. He did so hesitantly. As Jensen sat he tested the cushions under him as if amazed that something so soft could hold his weight. There was something about that small, child-like gesture that touched Jared all over again.

“Hey, Jensen, you ever gonna take off that hood?”

Jensen raised his head and gave it a minute shake.

“Why not?” Jared pushed.

“Beast,” Jensen replied.

“That’s not true. You’re not a beast. You’ve been a very polite houseguest. Better than some of my other friends, I’ll tell you that. Nobody cleans up the bathroom after themselves like you did.” He laughed.

“Girl yell.”

Jared winced. Sandy. “Yes. She was surprised, is all. She didn’t know anyone was spending the night. It surprised her and that’s why she yelled. I didn’t think she was coming home until Monday.”

“Ugly.” Jensen pointed at himself.

Jared peered but could still see nothing in the shadow cast by the hood. Fuck, somebody had screwed up this man but good. “I’m sure that’s not so. And I don’t care what you look like, Jensen. I won’t yell. I promise.”

Jensen held the mug with both hands before bringing it back to his mouth. Jared covertly tried to see more of the face Jensen was hiding, and could just make out the light pink of his lips along the edge of the coffee cup.

Jensen held the empty mug back out to Jared.

“Would you like some more?”

Jensen nodded. “Pl-ease.”

Jared smiled and refilled Jensen’s mug, then went to the kitchen and began to make some eggs. Jared was pleased that Jensen joined him at the counter when he set two plates there. They ate quietly.

Jared thought about what he could do next. It was Saturday. All the city agencies were closed. He could do some research online but really until Monday it would be difficult to get hard information. He thought he’d have all weekend. Sandy coming home early made this a real dilemma.

“Ja-red?”

Jared jumped. Jensen stood in the opening of the galley kitchen. He walked slowly to the sink, and washed first his and then Jared’s empty plates and mugs, laying them to dry in the draining rack.

Staring dumbly Jared said, “Thank you.”

He felt the smile within the other man’s words, “Y’r welcome.”

Once done, Jensen returned to the couch and settled back on it gingerly. Something tightened in Jared’s chest. There was no way he could just toss him out. They were making progress. Jensen was speaking more. A little longer and maybe he’d be in better shape to help make some decisions for himself.

Except he didn’t have time. Because Sandy would be back soon.

Jared spent an hour on his computer researching. It didn’t look too promising. Standard procedure for the city’s shelters included a sign-up and a waiting list. Acceptance was based on need. Jared looked back over at Jensen who sat quietly on the sofa, bouncing slightly every once in a while. The television was on but Jensen did not seem to be paying any attention to it. The brighter commercials caught his eye here and there but never for more than a few seconds. Jared wondered if Jensen understood any of it.

He went back to the web page he had up and read over some of the provided services. Literacy training.

“Jensen?” A small grrr sounded from the other side of the room. Jared smiled. “Can you please come here for a second?”

Jared switched the web site to a news portal. He waited until Jensen was behind him and pointed to his laptop screen. “Can you read this?”

The computer was perched on the breakfast counter and so Jensen didn’t need to stoop too far. He stood closer to Jared than he’d ever been before. Jared turned and tried to peer inside the hood, but Jensen quickly brought his hands up and adjusted it closer around his face. Jared moved away and let Jensen take the seat he’d just vacated.

“Eco--nomic indica--tors remain mixed,” Jensen read slowly.

Jared’s smile broadened. “Guess that answers that.”

“Read,” Jensen said simply.

Jared was instantly embarrassed. “Yeah. I see that. I should have just asked you. I’m sorry.”

Jensen hopped off the stool and looked down. “Go.”

“What?”

At Jared’s wide stare Jensen pointed to his own chest. “Jensen go.”

Jared stared. “No. I already told you that you don’t have to leave until we find somewhere-“

“Girl say go.”

Jared raked his hair. Dammit. “She … it’s not up to her.”

Jensen looked around. “Girl live here?”

Jared couldn’t lie. “Yes.”

Something solidified in Jensen’s stance. He walked into the bathroom and came back holding his old clothes. “Change … back.” His voice caught on the last word and Jared’s heart leapt into his throat.

“No. You don’t have to. The clothes I gave you are yours now. Please. Don’t …”

Jensen looked at the disgusting mess in his hands. Even without seeing his face Jared could sense an inner battle. After an eternity he said, “Garbage.”

Jared raced to the kitchen and returned with a plastic bag. He held it open while Jensen dropped the clothes inside. Even with the bag tied, the noxious smell lingered in the air.

A callused hand suddenly held Jared’s forearm. The contact was warm and unexpected and Jared’s skin felt a charge. “Thank you,” Jensen said softly.

The hand pulled back and Jared moved unconsciously after the severed contact but Jensen turned away.
Jared watched his back. Jensen’s shoes were back on, when had that happened?

“No. Please don’t leave. I mean, where … where will you go?”

Jensen pointed to the door. Jared didn’t know what that meant. Outside? Nowhere? Everywhere?

As the door opened Jared fought back the urge to tackle the other man to the ground and make him stay. But he had free will. Jared couldn’t keep him against his wishes.

As if sensing Jared’s worry Jensen turned back. “Beast o-kay.”

“You’re not a beast.”

Jensen shook his head in disagreement and walked out without turning back.

Before the door completely closed Jared leapt forward and yelled down the stairs at the retreating gray form. “Come to the shelter. If you need anything. A candy bar, anything. Promise me you’ll come to the shelter.”

Something like a purr echoed out of the stairwell up at him.

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