Beholder, Ch. 15, NC-17, RPS, AU, Jensen/Jared
Jared worked exclusively with Joel, Seth and Alison. Nobody wanted to compromise Jeff with their schemes and Jared didn’t even want to go as far as trust Misha. Not that he thought the other man would do anything to stop him. But he might try to talk Jared out of this. And Jared couldn’t have that.
Luckily, Joel loved gadgets and Seth’s successful art career allowed them the budget to indulge in a few extra devices. Jared tweaked the small Bluetooth in his ear that allowed him to communicate with Alison. She swore she could take care of simple security doors for them. The key, she said, is the hospital was all voluntary and very few doors were even locked. Those that did ran on simple passcodes. She called it an easy job. Whatever. As long as it got Jared to Jensen.
Joel had an appointment with Doctor Drummond, Jensen’s physician. That would keep her occupied and also ensured that Jensen didn’t have a session with her. The plan was for Jared to follow Joel inside. Alison would get the receptionist to leave her post by calling her with a report of her car lights being left on and simultaneously hack open the locked main interior door for Jared.
Cap over his head, Jared waited until the slight blonde exited before stealthily slipping inside. “I’m in,” he whispered to Alison, feeling like a secret agent. He wasn’t sure if the knot in his stomach was from the risk of being caught - or fear of Jensen’s reaction at seeing him again given what had happened.
“Give me three minutes,” she uttered back.
Hand over the door handle Jared waited until he heard a click and the light on the swipe panel turned green. The door opened beneath his grip. Heart accelerating he thanked Alison quickly and disconnected their call.
Joel was waiting for him behind a pillar as planned. The corridor was wide and clean. Walls painted a pale, soft robin’s egg blue. It looked inviting and not at all institutional. Well, Jeff did say this was a top-rated facility. Alison had already given them Jensen’s room number. But given the time of day Joel thought they should first check the common room.
Jared walked alongside him, head held high. He’d taken off the cap and tried to look as if he belonged. He wasn’t the only civilian. They picked this time on purpose because other family members and friends would also be visiting. Except, Jensen wasn’t allowed regular visitors during his ongoing evaluation period. So this was the only way. He tried to ignore how furious Jeff would be when this came out. The police officer was still plenty mad at Joel for sneaking in a visit to Jensen under the false pretense of the doctor’s visit a week ago.
They turned a corner and Joel pointed them toward a stairwell. “C’mon, better off on the stairs.”
The second floor exit faced another wide corridor. Joel pointed them toward the left. He paused before a double door and opened it quickly. Inside was a large space with a very high ceiling peppered with skylights. The edges of the room were filled with sofas and arm chairs. The center contained desks where a variety of projects were being worked on. Jared saw puzzles and paintings and drawings and macramé. It resembled the art room of the summer camp he worked in for two summers. Everyone was dressed in street clothes with the exception of two very dazed looking men that wore robes over pajama bottoms. You couldn’t really tell the patients from visitors.
Jared scanned the room rapidly. “He’s not here.”
Joel nodded. “Nope.” He tugged Jared’s arm. “His room is 203. I don’t know where else to look. We checked the grounds already and he wasn’t outside. Besides it’s kinda nippy today. I need to get to Doctor Drummond.”
Jared followed Joel out of the common space. Joel pointed down the corridor. “It’s down that way. Door shouldn’t be locked. Good luck. I’ll meet you back by the stairwell in fifty minutes.”
The room numbering was traditional, odds on one side and even on the other. Jared followed the lowering numbers until he stood in front of 203. There was a small window. Jared peered in and sucked in a gasp as he saw a huddled gray shape on a bed. Jensen’s knees were bent and a sketch pad was pressed against his thighs, arm moving furiously along the paper. Jared took an extra second to look around the small room. There was only the one bed. A desk sat opposite with a single chair. The back wall held a large double window. Just like Jeff said, the window was bare, no gates. There was a shade that was pulled up letting the sunlight stream in. The walls were covered in drawings hung with masking tape. Dozens colored the room in soft pastels. They shimmered in the sunlight like flower petals. He even noted the floor was littered with discarded drawings.
Now or never. He pushed the door open and stepped inside.
“Jensen.”
A low growl and quick scuffling of paper met his soft greeting. Jensen was immediately in defensive mode, standing in a semi-crouch beside the single bed, hands hovering near his sides. He wore a new-looking black hoodie and matching black track pants. His feet were bare and at first glance he looked clean and in good shape. A thousand words died in Jared’s throat. He’d rehearsed what he wanted to say many times. How he wanted to explain exactly what was happening on Jensen’s behalf so Jensen could be less afraid.
Instead, his throat felt as if someone had it in a death grip. He dropped to the tile floor on his knees and looked up at Jensen, words falling out in a broken whisper. “I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry … I never meant … when they told me, it just killed me. God, Jen, please … just look at me … tell me you know I didn’t plan this. I didn’t know they wouldn’t let you leave. I know it’s not an excuse. But. I didn’t know. I am so sorry.”
Jensen crouched in front of him. The sun behind him kept his face in shadow. His voice was soft and deep. “Not blame Jared.”
Jared wanted to move forward at this and touch Jensen but he held back. Jensen was still so reserved. So cautious. They both stood slowly. He tried to remember all he’d wanted to say. “I spoke to someone from your past. An old … boyfriend. His name is Tom Welling. Do you remember him?”
Jensen tilted his head no. Jared continued, “He told me about the witch.”
Jared could sense Jensen’s slight twitch at this. “Doctor say there is no witch.”
Jared smiled. “Yeah, well, the doctor is wrong. And I found her.”
Jensen growled again low. “Who is she?”
“Her name is Natalya Petunegro. She worked for you. Helped take care of the grounds of your home in L.A.” Jared paused. This part would be trickier. Jensen was peering at him from under the hood. He felt eyes burning him. “You had some sort of relationship with her granddaughter, Katherine - Kat. Tom said that you, well, fooled around a lot back then with different folks. Kat was unstable. She … Jensen, it’s not your fault - you were a teenager and barely over the death of your parents and on your own-“
“What happened, Jared?”
“She tried to kill herself. Her grandmother found her in time. Tom wasn’t sure of all the details but Katie dug further and it looks like she’d taken pills. And the grandmother thought … “
Another low snarl broke the silence. “What did she tell you?”
“She thought Kat might have gotten the pills from you. Or maybe the girl stole them. The grandmother, the witch, she accused you of giving them to her granddaughter. Anyway, the girl didn’t die, and that’s the important part. The grandmother blamed you though. She … Tom called her a witch. He didn’t seem at all surprised when I told him about the curse, heard some of it himself when she was yelling at you. But he said he didn’t stay to hear the whole thing. That was the night of the motorcycle accident. The night you disappeared.”
Jensen turned away giving Jared only his back. “Thank you for telling me this. Now go.”
“No. Don’t you see? I can find her. I can have her take back the curse. Or undo it or whatever.”
“No! She will not and why should she? Jared you tried. You are good.”
“You are good, too, dammit! That was so long ago. Why should you … Jen, please. I’ll find her, I will … “
The door burst open and a doctor appeared with Jeff by her side. “Mr. Padalecki, I’m Doctor Drummond, I’m afraid you can’t be here.”
Jared turned abruptly. The doctor was a slight woman with reddish gold hair and warm blue eyes. Jeff stood beside her, eyes impenetrable.
“Jeff?”
“They called me because of my connection to Joel. It doesn’t have to go further than me. Jared, c’mon, let’s get out of here now.”
“No. I … I need Jensen to understand I can break the curse.”
“Mr. Padalecki. Jared. You aren’t helping. Please leave now or we will have to c-“
Jared ignored her. “Jeff. Mrs. Petunegro, the witch, did you find her? I need to go to her. I promised Jensen.”
“Jared … I … I’m sorry. She passed away two years ago.”
A nearly inhuman howl filled the small space. Jensen spun back and his eyes glowed gold beyond the hood. “Curse forever,” he uttered in a voice like ground glass. Both Jared and the doctor stood rooted, while Jeff took a step pointedly backward.
Jared cringed, heart skipping wildly. “No … it can’t … “
“It is over. Jared … GO NOW!” The yell shook the air like a thunder clap and Jared lurched backward as if hit by an invisible force. His back struck something solid and Joel suddenly filled the doorway.
Joel pushed past Jared, ignoring both his brother and the doctor, and thrust something large and red into Jensen’s hands. It flipped open in his grip and the sun glinted off the gold edging shooting sparkles up into the air.
“What would your mother tell you, Jensen, about believing?”
Jensen stood still, looking at the embossed cover.
“Open it, Jensen. See the truth.”
At the command in Joel’s voice, Jensen opened the volume and began to look at the pages.
Jared watched helplessly as Jensen fingered the oversized fairytale pictures. Illustrations so close to his own, scattered like leaves over his walls, all over the floor. Joel turned to Jared. “It’s not about the witch. You don’t need her. You never did. Jared … you can break the curse.”
“Joel … “ Jeff tried to intervene but the doctor’s softer yet authoritative voice broke through.
“No. Let him talk … “
Joel’s eyes shimmered in the sunlight and trapped Jared as if in a vise. “Speak or lose him.”
“I can’t lose him.” Jared stared at Joel as if he’d just been given the answer to a question Jared didn’t realize he’d asked.
He approached Jensen, still looking through the pages of his mother’s book, transfixed. Jared placed a hand on each of Jensen’s upper arms, leaning in slightly until the book jutted his chest. His forehead pressed into the top of the hood. “Jen … Your mom believed … not just in magic. But in you.” He pointed to the charmed beings gracing the pages of her book. The pixies and fairies and tiny princes - and every one of them resembled a boy with tremendous green eyes and dirty blonde hair. Jared pushed Jensen’s hood down and met those same incredible eyes. “I believe in you, Jensen.” He took a slow breath and opened his heart. “I love you.”
Jensen’s eyes puddled and like a slowly shifting sea, a wave trickled down his face to splatter the last page he’d touched. The creature on the paper softened to a soft smear beneath the spreading moisture. Jared thumbed away the tear on Jensen’s cheek and pressed his lips where the tracks lay. He felt the book drop to the floor between them and Jensen’s arms wrap themselves tight around his waist. “I love you, too.”
Jared squeezed back as hard as he could. A small chuckle escaped and he whispered into Jensen’s mouth. “I think we’re supposed to kiss now.”
And then Jensen’s lips met his and the world fell away and they were the only two left. Eventually, the need for breath drew them apart. “Jar-ed. Feel funny.”
Jared moved back enough to give Jensen a little more air. His breath caught as the most beautiful man on the planet gave him a luminous smile. He didn’t even need to ask. “Good funny?”
“Feel … like me.” Jared’s answering smile could have fueled a starship.
Jeff let out an odd gasp and Jared spun to face him. His brows rose in question. “Nothin’ … I mean … just … Did you see ... ?” His eyes turned toward the doctor.
“It was the sun.”
Jeff’s eyes got even wider. “You saw it, too? He … glowed.”
“Sun from the window,” she repeated matter-of-factly.
Joel met Jared’s eyes with a huge grin.
“So that’s him?” These photos were crystal clear. Samantha could not stop staring at huge green eyes.
“The doctors say he’s delusional. But not dangerous. They can’t keep him.”
“But they will agree he needs an executor for financial matters?”
The attorney smiled crookedly. “Undoubtedly. You can keep him with an allowance somewhere and nothing really needs to change.”
The filtering sun from the expansive wall of windows glinted on the photographs, making Jensen’s eyes glow gold. She remembered them that way from the stables so many years ago. Looking up at her with guileless affection.
“The petition is right here. Just sign where I’ve indicated.”
She glanced at the papers being thrust across her empty desk toward her. Behind her, on the credenza, was a sole, framed photograph of her parents. No other personal items graced her office. She’d been proud of this. Saw it as the reason for her rise. Her dedication and single-mindedness. It made her stand out.
“Leave these,” she told the nameless lawyer.
“But … “
“Did the PI finish putting together the dossier on the events of the past ten years of Ackles’ life?”
Another file was slipped across to her. This one was much thicker. She began to skim. The young attorney sat silently in front of her, clearly unsure if he was supposed to go or stay. One quick wave of her manicured hand and he scurried away.
It took two hours to finish reading. And when she was done she returned to the segments about Jensen’s stay in Detroit County and fought back nausea. The facility was already shut down so she did the only thing she could and jotted down the key names of those involved in Jensen’s abuse on the monogrammed notepad to her right. This could not stand.
She walked to the window and peered down at the busy Dallas street. The heat simmered the air in rolling waves. What was this? she questioned herself. Why the sudden sentiment? With a quick swipe at the front of her skirt she spun back to the desk. A photo stared up at her. A news clipping - Jensen at the funeral. Aviator frames covering those eyes. Back, ruler straight. She shut her eyes and didn’t see that teenager. Instead she saw a mop-topped blonde almost mowing her down before asking if she’d be back.
And she’d said yes.
One week after lifting the curse, Jared was back at Countryview. Jared visited at the same time, every day. Jensen met him in the common room. He’d been drawing, and smiled hugely when Jared entered. Jared peered down at the latest illustrations. Same theme. Mystical creatures and enchanted locales. He looked a little closer at the large dragon with a man on his back. The dragon had slanted blue-green eyes and a tilt where his nose would be and … “Jensen … is that … ?”
Jensen smiled crookedly at him. The prince on the dragon’s back had short light brown hair that spiked up and large, green eyes.
“You know,” Jared began in a hushed tone. “It doesn’t take Freud to figure this one out.” He waited until Jensen met his eyes. “You wanna ride me.”
Jensen blushed which made Jared want to kiss him. So he did. Except they were in the middle of lots of people so it couldn’t last beyond a whisper.
“When?” he breathed into Jensen’s mouth, foreheads touching.
“Doctor said I can leave when I want.”
Jared pulled back at this surprised. “So why are you-“
“Jared. Want to stay. Finish with Doctor Drummond. Not much longer. But a little more.” Jared nodded because if it was Jensen’s choice then, of course, it was okay. “Jared … “ Jensen stood and held out his hand. “Want to show you something.”
Jared followed Jensen into his room. He looked around because something was different but he couldn’t tell at first what it … And then he caught sight of the small mirror above the dresser. The last time he’d seen it there were drawings taped up over it, covering it up. It stood bare now, reflecting the afternoon sun.
“Jensen,” Jared said on a long breath. Jensen smiled nervously and took Jared’s hand again. They walked slowly to the mirror. Jensen kept his head down and only began raising it slowly to meet Jared’s shocked smile in the mirror. They locked eyes a moment and then Jensen tilted his head against Jared’s shoulder.
Jared put his arm around him and pulled him closer. “God, you look so good.” He tilted Jensen’s head back up with his fingertip. Jensen’s eyes met his again in the mirror although he still leaned against Jared.
“Look at us,” Jared commanded. “Mirror … mirror … that is one gorgeous sight.” And with that Jared let out a laugh from deep in his gut.
Jensen lifted his finger to the mirror and outlined Jared’s smiling lips. He spun back toward him and swallowed him a deep kiss. Oh yeah. Kissing Jensen was the happy in every fairy tale ever written.
Pulling off his mouth to suck at Jensen’s neck, Jared heard Jensen’s warm breath moving against his ear. “I love you.”
“I love you. So much.” He crushed Jensen’s lips back against his until they melded into each other on a single sigh. Tongues dancing and chasing each other’s they barely heard the soft rap at the door until it had gotten louder. From where they stood it would be hard to see them from the door’s small opening.
Jared looked at Jensen and then went to open the door. “Hello,” a strong feminine voice said. Jared stepped back surprised as the curvy, elegantly dressed woman swiftly entered the room. Jensen raced to Jared’s side, shuddering slightly. Strangers still unnerved him. Jared made sure their shoulders touched.
“Can we help you?” He honestly figured the woman was lost.
“Jensen?”
Jensen stiffened against him.
She stood ramrod straight. She was in her early- to mid-forties, with shoulder length, glossy dark brown hair. Equally dark, chocolate eyes peered at them with a puzzled expression, landing softly on Jared. “You’re Jared Padalecki.”
It wasn’t a question but Jared nodded yes anyway. “Who are you?”
“Samantha Ferris. Jensen … “ She approached slowly and wrapped her hand firmly around Jensen’s arm. “I’m sorry it’s taken this long.”
Jared stared long and hard at the hand touching Jensen. His eyes met his lover’s to be sure this was okay. Jensen nodded at him and stepped away slightly moving toward Samantha. “You are family.”
She nodded, eyes softening. “I’m all that’s left, I’m sorry to say. At least on your father’s side. I don’t know your mother’s family. If there’s anyone out there … I … I’ll help you find them, okay?”
Jensen stepped to the desk where the book sat. He treated it reverently and held it out to Samantha slowly. Jared knew what this meant and hoped that Samantha would get it. He swallowed down the emotion as Jensen placed the book in his cousin’s hand. “This is my mother. I mean … she drew … ” He turned to Jared looking for language help.
“Donna Ackles wrote and illustrated children’s books under a pseudonym. This special edition was a compilation published after her death. From what I’ve learned, the book was very special to Jensen after she passed.”
Samantha took the book and looked it over. “I … I didn’t know Donna wrote … “ Her eyes skimmed the illustrations. “Oh. This is beautiful.” Her eyes shifted to the drawings covering the walls. Bright eyes turned to Jensen. “Are those yours?”
Jensen nodded shyly. Jared piped in, “Jensen is an artist. Like his mother.” He didn’t have to look to feel Jen’s smile.
No matter how sweet Samantha Ferris was acting Jared could not forget that it was her scheming that got Jensen locked up here in the first place. He steeled his resolve. “Ms. Ferris. It’s nice of you to visit but what’s this about, really? We are aware of the legal actions you have in place to try to keep Jensen from what’s rightfully his and I can assure you Jensen also has legal representation and friends and is not alone any longer.”
“Jared … “
“No, Jen. Dammit. She strolls in here like everything’s hunky dory when it was her actions … “ Jared stopped himself. He didn’t want to spoil things with Jensen’s only family. And this facility had been helpful to Jensen in the end.
“Mr. Padalecki, I understand your interest in this matter. Trust me your assistance in returning Jensen to his family will not be forgotten.”
Jared’s face heated like a flame. “What?! I don’t give a crap about your money. His money.” He spun back to Jensen. “You know this, right?”
Jensen touched his face, grounding him. “Jared. I know.” He pulled away and faced Samantha. “My lawyer explained. You say I am not able to manage assets. But you do not understand. Not want to take from you. You run my family company for years. I cannot do job. Do not want job. Want only draw and help my friends.”
“Your friends?” Samantha questioned. “Like Jared?”
“No. Jared is not friend.”
He turned and met Jared’s eyes and didn’t have to say another word because Jared understood. Jensen wasn’t a friend. Jensen was … everything. If Samantha noticed the emotions bouncing between them she didn’t say. “What about you … “ Her eyes met Jared’s. “What do you want?”
Man, she was a piece of work. Jared glared at her. “I want Jensen happy.”
She looked surprised but hid it quick. “Then we want the same thing. Jensen, the doctors tell me you can leave whenever you wish. I wanted to offer to take you home.”
“Home?”
“Back to Texas. With me.”
They’d spoken on the phone and even chatted via Webcam a couple of times but Jared felt the distance mounting with each passing week. Jensen had made the decision to return to Texas with Samantha in conjunction with Doctor Drummond. The doctor thought it was possible that more of Jensen’s memory might return upon seeing familiar things.
Jensen told Jared that he and Samantha had been spending a lot of time together. She’d talked to the current owners of the former Ackles’ ranch who were very understanding and allowed Jensen to walk around the house as well as the grounds as much as he wished. He’d described visiting the horses and that Samantha seemed especially pleased when Jensen said he thought he remembered her being there with him once.
The offices where Jensen’s father worked were virtually the same. Jensen had spent much time running up and down the corridors when he was a child. Less so in his adolescent days but even then he’d visited his father at work plenty of times. Many of Alan’s personal effects had been put into storage. At Samantha’s instructions these were unearthed and shown to Jensen in the hopes of jumpstarting his memory.
His childhood was returning in small bits. The doctors said it was likely most of his memory would never return due to the damage sustained when he’d spun off his motorcycle. But the fact that he could close his eyes and picture his mother’s smile was something miraculous to Jensen. Jared hadn’t been able to stay on the phone long after this. It hurt too much not to be able to touch.
Eventually, Jared got used to not having Jensen around and life at the shelter began to return to its familiar routine. He was busy processing three new arrivals. All medium-sized dogs of mixed breed. Healthy and lively and adult and hard-to-place. But Jared was hopeful. He always was. He looked up at Alona. “What haven’t we done in a while?”
She put away the flea powder and took a quick inventory of missing supplies. “Um … I dunno. Baseball players?”
“Okay … “ He eyed the squat, dark-eyed dog with the flippy wagging tale. “You look like a Ruth.” The other two barked. He laughed. “DiMaggio and … Berra.”
Alona laughed. “Yankees? Traitor!” Alona was also from Texas. “We’re low on these things.” She handed the list she’d been writing to Jared as he stepped back from the dogs. He looked it over running a hand through his hair. Great. Donations were stagnant and they’d just had to pay a bunch of annual licensing fees and the rent was likely to go up any minute now and where in hell was the money going to come from?
He told Alona no problem and introduced the dogs to their new, temporary home.
Back in the office he pulled up the donor list to see who he might be able to hit. Misha popped in with the mail. “Heard from Jensen?”
Jared absently opened the envelopes separating bills from other items. “Been a few days. His speech is so much better. The new speech therapist must be really good. You’d be amazed.”
“Yeah. What about what we spoke about … you going to see him?”
Jared looked across the desk at Misha. “Even if I could afford it. Which … no way. He needs to find himself. I’m … I was there when he needed someone … but now that he’s Jensen Ackles, I don’t know … “
“Jared … I know how much you … “
“Let’s not, Misha, okay?” He dropped his eyes back to the mail and continued slowly opening and sorting them. A slim envelope caught his attention because he didn’t recognize the return address. His eyes quickly skimmed the first page of the two-page letter.
“Oh fuck.”
“What?” Misha said, leaning over the desk to see what was upsetting Jared.
“Our landlord … he sold the building.”
“Oh fuck.”
Jared eyed Misha. “Yeah.”
“What’s it going to mean?”
“Well … we have six months left on the lease. The new owners may just let us renew. We’ve been good tenants. Mostly pay on time.”
“Mostly,” Misha parroted. “So who owns it now?”
“It doesn’t … oh, wait … “ He kept reading and turned to the second page. “What the-“
“Jared?” Misha asked alarmed at Jared’s gaping mouth. Jared silently handed the page to Misha.
“But … that’s … how did you? It says your name.”
Jared pulled out his phone and pressed two. “Jen?”
“Jared. Perfect timing. Open your back door.”
“What?”
There was a knock.
Jared yanked the door open and his mouth fell further. Jensen laughed. “I knew it would be worth it.”
Finally regaining the power of movement, Jared threw his arms around Jensen and held on tight. “How? Jen … what did you do?”
“Uh-uh. Not good enough.” And he pulled Jared down to meet his already parting lips. Jared felt his senses drowning in the heat and soft pressure as the moist sweetness of Jensen’s taste consumed him. God, it had been so long. Too damn long. The kiss deepened hot and dirty and they poured weeks’ worth of longing into the shared air between them. Jared felt the want burn deep in his belly as their bodies began instinctively pressing tighter together. It was all he had to remember that Misha was still behind them and not shove Jensen hard against his desk and take him right there.
“I should, um, go … “ Misha said as they pulled a millimeter apart both panting hard.
“No,” Jensen said before moving to hug Misha. “I … I’ve missed you.”
Misha hugged back, meeting Jared’s wet eyes over Jensen’s shoulder. “Me, too. You look great,” he said, pulling back and looking Jensen over. That was no lie. Jensen looked delectable. He wore nothing more fancy than a black tee-shirt over blue jeans. But these weren’t discount bin jeans and Jared thought he finally understood what mouthwatering meant.
Jared touched Jensen’s arm to regain his attention, forcing his own mind off the way Jensen’s ass looked in the designer jeans. “Jen. The building?”
“Is yours.”
“You can’t … “
Jensen nodded. “I can. And I did. But that’s not why I’m here.” He turned to Misha. “Misha. I … do you think I could talk privately to Jared now?”
Misha smiled and left them alone. Jared kept a safe distance, afraid if he got too close he wouldn’t be able to contain himself. Jensen was here. It was just too amazing.
“How is Texas?”
“Hot.” Jensen smiled. “It has been great. Samantha … she surprised me. She really seems to care. She took me to my parents’ ranch. I spent a lot of time visiting places we’d go. I met old friends. I didn’t really remember anyone. I did remember Samantha vaguely from when I was very little.”
“You told me that.”
“Yes. It was important to go. To try to remember. For them. My parents. And for Sam. But … Jared … “
Jensen looked down. It was such an achingly familiar gesture that Jared fought an instant clogging of his throat. “What is it?”
Jensen moved closer and looked up slightly catching Jared’s eyes. “I want … I want to go home.”
Jared’s heart leapt but a part of him held back, wasn’t totally positive what Jensen was talking about. “You mean … Los Angeles?”
Jensen pushed the hair back from Jared’s forehead. “No. I mean, you.”
Jared fought for his voice. “Jen, you sure? I mean … all I have is this place. You … you can have anything. Do anything. You don’t owe me.”
Jensen chuckled. “I owe you everything. But that’s not why I’m here.” His lips met Jared’s lightly. “I love you.” He pulled back. “Still love me?”
Jared looked adoringly at the man who everyone saw differently. A beast, a homeless man, a spoiled brat, an artist, a mentally ill patient, a prince. He saw the face of the person he loved more than anything. “Fuck, yeah.”
Jensen laughed outright and swooped him in for another long kiss. They came up for air and Jared giggled. “Say it.”
“What? I love you, I already did … “
“No. Not that. The other … your mom would want you to.”
Jensen looked at him, mouth twisting. “No. C’mon … it’s silly.”
Jared made his eyes go puppy. “For me?”
“No fair, man.”
“How come?”
Jensen’s eyes darkened slightly. “Because I’d do anything for you.”
The air crackled as Jared waited. Jensen rolled his eyes and said on a soft huff, “And they lived happily ever after.” He brought his lips back to Jared’s. “Sap.”
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