It occurs to me that thinking you're so much worse than everyone else is every bit as much of an example of pride as thinking you're better than them. The idea that you, above (or below, if you prefer) all other creatures are somehow MORE insignificant than them, or that your pain is just so terrible that it will drag others down into it with you is the exact same sort of overinflated ego, just used on the opposite spectrum.
You CAN count on people. The idea that you can't, or that you'll somehow drag them down with you, is entirely self-deception, not rooted in reality at all. I think that one major step toward starting that climb is admitting that to yourself.
Both Val and Brian missed the point of this, though in different manners.
This was a explanation of what goes on the head of someone who is severely depressed, somewhat inspired by the latest XKCD comic.
Yes, I understand the concept that most of the people at the proverbial top have: you won't pull me down. But you miss the point: when someone is that depressed, all the "I'm stable up here, please let me help you!" in the world isn't going to get through. The fear of hurting other people, and hurting yourself more, and hurting them and thereby hurting yourself more, causes you to refuse any help offered no matter how desperately you may need it. Pride? Yes, to a degree, but it's also-- now addressing Val's point-- a desire NOT to be the monster, the horrible person that you see yourself as
( ... )
It's not about feeling superior to others at all; in fact, it's a pervasive feeling of your own inferiority, because, obviously, if you were good enough, this wouldn't be happening to you.
The superiority complex comes out as a overcompensation for exactly how worthless you genuinely feel: you don't deserve others' love, or honest affection; you damned sure don't deserve everything they are putting into maintaining a relationship of any sort with you, and you just wish they'd go away because you know in the end, they are going to leave you just like everyone always has, and you'll be alone again, but the alone-ness will be made even worse because you became accustomed to beign loved, which you didn't deserve in the first place, because you're a selfish bastard, and the least selfish thing you can do is spare everyone the pain you'll inevitably end up causing them by forcing them to just Go Away
( ... )
Addressing only your response to me, since Val and I were saying very different things:
Believe me, if there's anything I understand it's depression, and I know you can't just wave a magic wand and say, "all this is in my head," and make it go away. But I still think it's worth pointing out that the kind of thinking described above really IS nothing but self-deception. Saying that won't fix it in and of itself, but it's definitely the first step.
I understood you were probably just trying to describe what goes on in your head and not necessarily condone it, but I couldn't just let it stand without saying anything about it
( ... )
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You CAN count on people. The idea that you can't, or that you'll somehow drag them down with you, is entirely self-deception, not rooted in reality at all. I think that one major step toward starting that climb is admitting that to yourself.
Reply
This was a explanation of what goes on the head of someone who is severely depressed, somewhat inspired by the latest XKCD comic.
Yes, I understand the concept that most of the people at the proverbial top have: you won't pull me down. But you miss the point: when someone is that depressed, all the "I'm stable up here, please let me help you!" in the world isn't going to get through. The fear of hurting other people, and hurting yourself more, and hurting them and thereby hurting yourself more, causes you to refuse any help offered no matter how desperately you may need it. Pride? Yes, to a degree, but it's also-- now addressing Val's point-- a desire NOT to be the monster, the horrible person that you see yourself as ( ... )
Reply
The superiority complex comes out as a overcompensation for exactly how worthless you genuinely feel: you don't deserve others' love, or honest affection; you damned sure don't deserve everything they are putting into maintaining a relationship of any sort with you, and you just wish they'd go away because you know in the end, they are going to leave you just like everyone always has, and you'll be alone again, but the alone-ness will be made even worse because you became accustomed to beign loved, which you didn't deserve in the first place, because you're a selfish bastard, and the least selfish thing you can do is spare everyone the pain you'll inevitably end up causing them by forcing them to just Go Away ( ... )
Reply
Believe me, if there's anything I understand it's depression, and I know you can't just wave a magic wand and say, "all this is in my head," and make it go away. But I still think it's worth pointing out that the kind of thinking described above really IS nothing but self-deception. Saying that won't fix it in and of itself, but it's definitely the first step.
I understood you were probably just trying to describe what goes on in your head and not necessarily condone it, but I couldn't just let it stand without saying anything about it ( ... )
Reply
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