an open question:

[sanguineaccord]

Prompted by my recent readings of Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged, Fountainhead. I promise I will address her more fully later) and my continuing existential crisis (its called life apparently), I have a question to pose you:

Upon what is one's self worth/esteem predicated?

I am very curious to hear your responses.

Comments

[pippilicious]

In doing what is right for you at the moment. And having the strength to make that decision, if applicable.

What this is can change as many times and as often as you like.
Gauging anything to do with the self on someone/something else is stupid unless, of course, that too is right for you at that moment.

With this is also comes the necessity/responsibility of dealing with the consequences of whatever you do, but dealing with the consequences you walk into of your own free will is just and right.

You only get one life, so regret is pointless. If you make the best decision AT THE TIME then even if things don't work out, you can't regret hence no depletion of self worth.

Sounds trite? Of course it does! You want rules for living? There aren't any. There is just life.

[sanguineaccord]

I LOVE your mind! But you knew that already :)

The best thing is that I reckon that you live by this statement as well. You are internally consistant.

All power to you!

[sanguineaccord]

Not at all! Please quote me the salient points in rhyming couplets if you will. Ummm you DID say the chapters were in verse didnt you?

[heyadria]

Oooh.. This is a good question

[kinky_kneazle]

Sorry sanguineaccord, I've hijacked your journal :P

I see your point, but I don't think it can be based on intelligence, or spirituality or emotional growth. I consider myself very spiritual, but if someone says I look fat in that skirt, my self-esteem will still take a hit.

In fact, I had the thought that perhaps high self-esteem is easier to manage if you're lacking in one or all of those things. You're less likely to be thinking about yourself deeply, so less likely to see flaws that may decrease your self-esteem.

Hmm... you're right about lots more thinking. I'll probably be bringing this up in every conversation for a while :)

[heyadria]

Hmm. I see what you're saying.

But if you are more developed and mature, then wouldn't those little things just not.. affect you so much? Like you can tell me I look fat in my skirt, and sure my feelings will get hurt for the moment, but overall it won't affect me too greatly, because in the bigger picture, I still have all my values, and vices and all the the things which I do base my self esteem on still hold true to my character.

[kinky_kneazle]

Maybe it comes down to a lot of things. As sanguineaccord says further down the thread, it depends on whether you have an internal or external locus of control. And maybe that is in built in some way. I find that despite my spirituality I still struggle with other's thoughts of me, though perhaps that has been less as I've worked on that side of myself.

I thought again today that people who are extraordinary in some way would struggle more. I've noticed that people like that put more pressure on themselves, so their expectations are harder to fulfill.

Also, I think I type in half-thoughts on LJ, so hopefully this makes some sense :)

[kinky_kneazle]

My first thought was that it is based on what's important to you. So, if money is important to you, and you have a lot of it, then you have high self-esteem. Or, in an example I just used with a friend, if killing people is important to you, and you kill lots of people, you have high self-esteem

[sanguineaccord]

Indeed that is a thought provoking comment...

The issue that you AND Heyadria have presented, I think, is whether one has an internal or external locus of control and how that affects ones self worth.

[ for the illustration of external locus of control just read what god does to the egyptians in exodus...oh wait...thats LOCUSTS of control....my bad

but see what it did to the Egyptians self esteem!!! ]

great icon btw!

[kinky_kneazle]

Everyone likes that icon :)

Yes, the basic question is internal or external, and I think it may be different for everyone. I also had this thought today about childhood and how the way our parents treat us affect whether we have an external or internal locus of control. Then I decided it was all getting too psychological for me and went back to thinking about socks.

Those poor Egyptians. Moses totally killed their self-esteem.

[sanguineaccord]

It wasnt just Moses. Dont forget that pesky tribal pyromaniac god of his!

And yes...perhaps the vexed issue of odd sox can all be traced to where their locus of control lies....oooops I've been told to put a sock in it :(