[fic] Ecology of the African Savanna, chapter six (LAST)
Title: Ecology of the African Savanna. Chapter Six: Because everyone has a tendency to leave Shige.
Pairing: Koyama/Shige/Ryo, + YamaPi.
Author:
ezyls_girl .
Rating: PG-15.
Warnings: Profanity. I was too lazy to incorporate the sexual bits. :P
Summary: At the end of the day, he's really the biggest idiot in the universe. End of PART II.
School!AU, Shige-centric.
Notes: Egads. This has gone on for too long. Stay-tuned for the KAT-TUN spinoff~
Previously:
PART I ----- / prologue / chapter one / chapter two / chapter three / chapter four /
PART II ---- / chapter one / chapter two / chapter three / chapter four / chapter five /
They're learning significant figures and scientific notation in third grade math. One million, the teacher scrawls on the board in chalk, ten to the power of nine.
“How many numbers makes a million, again?” Koyama asks, scratching his head, “Shige, I don't get it.”
He thinks of going for the conventional answer. A thousand times ten times ten times ten, but then decides against it-Kei-chan breaks the world record for becoming confused three times a week.
Instead, he asks, “Well. How many stars are there in the sky?”
“An unfathomable amount,” Koyama grins, happy to use a big word.
He has to smile, too.
“There's your answer.”
∞∞
The storm is meticulous in its ability to become erratic and randomized, never blowing in the same direction as the minute before, and certainly not pushing around the same things forever. Three seconds in, an orange-furred cat goes by, claws outstretched, mouth open in an angry yowl. Fifty-seven seconds later, water from the Pacific is blown into the shores of the Atlantic. After that, trees fall, wind solidifies and light hems and haws on the horizon line, unable to decide on the perfect way to regain the visibility of a boat caught in its scuppers.
The only thing that remains constant is him. Standing in the trail of debris the gale has left behind, the cat fur and the water droplets, he's there because he has to stay. He is looking for his heart.
It’s all so confusing. The feeling starts when he kisses Ryo’s best friend. There’s a flutter in his chest at first, a timid hop and a careful caress, followed by fingers lacing between his and then suddenly both of them are rolling around on the couch, gasping and fondling each other, until Pi stops it and apologizes.
In all other respects, it had been a regular day-he was presented with another perfect score on the stoichiometry exam in science, the last piece of the plan to firmly state his name as the highest-scoring three-year class valedictorian. He skipped the first half of PE to smoke and the second half to receive a ravishing from Ryo in the locker rooms (leaving him short of breath, his shirt on backwards, a line of red marks pittering down from his neck to his stomach, and two minutes late to his next class). After school, Ryo leaves with Koyama on another date to the shopping mall with a swimming pool, and when he's walking back home, he suddenly feels a pair of rough hands grabbing the scruff of his collar and wheeling him in the opposite direction. He's about to shout for help, with the kidnapper's hand clamps over his mouth. The smell of mint, old books, and cheap marijuana overpowers his nostrils. Oh, great.
When Pi finally lets go of Shige, the two of them are standing in Akanishi Jin's living room.
Alone.
They talk. Pi starts rambling about the similarities of bubble gum and the meaning of life. And then it evolves into making out. He doesn't know how.
“I've always liked your face.” And that’s all that Pi offers as an explanation after wiping his lips on his sleeve and straightening his shirt. Both of them are equally shocked at what had occurred on the couch. “But you're also Ryo-chan's, and I make it a rule not to steal anything that isn't mine to take.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Oh, don't get me wrong,” Pi chuckled, “You're completely worth it, if not more, and I'd steal anything from anyone else. But...”
“...it's Ryo,” he finished for him.
“Exactly.”
It's odd. Both of them are perfectly sure that, given any other timeline, had it been switched around, if Pi had gotten to Shige first and if Shige had been completely devoted to Pi, it still wouldn’t have mattered-Ryo would've had no trouble taking him.
Anyway, he supposes that that's not how it really began. It might've been Jin who started it in the first place. You could expect that crazy arsonist to come up with anything.
The day before the incident, it’s Jin who makes the bewildering statement that sets it all off. Akanishi’s like the tail end of a sack of fireworks-the kind that are tied up in thick red bundles as a symbol of the fate of the comic relief characters of a cartoon.
Lunch break. Koyama’s off with Ryo in the corner of the library. The two of them are giggling and whispering in low voices next to the World Classics and he’s trying to not feel jealous of both Koyama and Ryo at the same time. Jin, having probably just finished spray-painting the bathroom walls with obscenities, lands on the chair next to him and scares him half to death with a pat on the shoulder.
“Hey, Shige, don’t you think Koyama’s cute?” He doesn’t bother to lower his voice, so half the room’s staring back at him. The couple by the World Classics does not seem to notice the sudden silence.
“Whatever gave you that idea?” He said reluctantly. Between the two of them, conversing with Jin is awkward at best and never productive.
There's silence, as Akanishi pauses to think up a clever answer. He's really not very bright, he thinks wryly.
“He’s like a pretty flower, isn’t he?” Jin tries again.
He puts his book on Sophocles on the wooden table, spine up. “Okay. What the hell are you talking about?”
“Like Uebo. Before that dickhead Nishikido made him move away.” Akanishi takes out a lunchbox, ignoring the glares being transmitted over radioactive waves from the librarian’s desk and ripping open a plastic bag with his teeth.
“You’re not supposed to eat in here,” he mutters.
“Metaphorically-speaking, of course,” Jin ignores his line, too, and begins to munch unnecessarily loudly on pre-packaged nori in his box, “But either way, the clues are too obvious to ignore. Ryo-chan's got his work cut out for him. I know it when I see it and I thought I'd tell you first, since your his best friend and all.”
“What?”
“Oh, you’ll see.” This time, all he sees is a smirk and then Akanishi Jin ditches him, too.
And he does find out. The very next day.
Koyama's limping. His face, on the morning of January 17th, is timid blushing and fear and depression and pain, rolled into one and squashed flat by a frying pan.
“What happened?” he blurted out during chemistry lab, receiving the first ever reprimand from the teacher for it.
“Oh, it's obvious now, isn't it?” And this time it's Jin again who's speaking, and he's got a bag full of curiosity to match, “So how was it, Koyama-kun? Painful? Exhilarating? Is Ryo-chan as big as he says he is, or was I stupid enough to believe him?”
He opens his mouth to retort -Jin’s stupid either way- but he’s too shocked. “I-I think he's p-pretty big,” Koyama offered meekly, half-scared and half-fascinated. The first thing he's said all day.
“I don't believe it,” he muttered, and left the library as fast as he could.
And he could hear Akanishi in the background, taking him too literally, “But how can you know, Shige? It's not like you've ever slept with anybody!”
--
“You fucked him.” It wasn’t a question.
Ryo wouldn't look him in the eye. “He wanted me to.”
And an unimagined rage took hold of him. He was suddenly angry with himself. What he had done, he had ruined Koyama's life. Because of him, Koyama was walking around in an expression of pure torture. Another side of him had been jealous of Koyama’s ability to have sex with Ryo without the fear of anyone barging in on them, but it was so ludicrous and wrong on so many levels. He felt himself reach forward and hit Ryo in the stomach. He didn't try to defend himself when Shige landed another punch on his chest, just clutched it in reclusive motion.
“I hate you. I hate you.”
Ryo flinched, “Shige, listen to me…”
“No,” he kicked Ryo in the chest and felt sore about it when he let out another grunt, “We were fine before you came. We were best friends. I loved him. He liked girls. But you had to go ahead and fuck it all up, didn't you? Why did he have to go for such a sick, sick bastard? And you don't give a shit what happens to us. I hate you.”
There’s blood smeared across Ryo’s face from his broken nose.
“I love you,” Ryo's whisper was nearly inaudible above his heavy breathing. He stood up. “There, I said it. Shige, I love you. I fell in love with the boy who hit me in the face over a book. I fell in love with you then. Are you happy now?”
He couldn't process it. He couldn't process the pained look across Ryo's face, couldn't process his words, couldn't process the tears in his eyes or the regret in his voice. All he could do was keep hitting Ryo, biting his lips until they started to bleed, and they fell to the floor again, Nishikido finally trying to stop his fists and for once, Kato Shigeaki’s brain did not work, for once it did not function correctly, it stopped buzzing, it stopped thinking, it stopped and there was nothing but the sound of wind whistling in his ears and the pounding of his heart.
Maybe that's how he ended up kissing Yamapi on Akanishi Jin's sofa. It was more twisted than the fourth act of Twelfth Night. He could just as well play Cesario and Sebastian at once and no one could tell the difference.
--
And even then, he is unable to stay away from Nishikido for long.
Koyama's standing at the edge of the doorframe, a frozen smile on his face and eyes wide. Koyama's laugh, shrill and bare from any emotion.
He watches him go.
--
“I guess it was bound to happen, wasn't it.” He sighs. They're standing together, leaning against the glass balcony window side by side. The summer night air is a little too chilly for June, the sluggish heat of day has vanished. There’s a few half-hearted birds chirping and the sound of someone revving a motorbike far away. All the same, it’s a dreadful day.
“That really depends, ne,” Yamapi says coldly, “It could've been perfectly avoidable. And Euripides would be turning in his moldy grave.”
He grimaces, “It's not exactly all my fault, though, right?”
“Really? Explain.”
“He said he loves me.” It came out more or less close to a mumble, and now that he thought about it, this was possibly the most pathetic reason he’s ever heard of. Like trying to cover up a mountain with a paper umbrella. The storm will just blow it away.
And to his surprise, Pi responds by spitting out the rest of his cigarette and stamping on it furiously. “Loves you, huh. And you’re going to go on and say that this isn’t your fault? Tell me you're not serious. This is entirely your fault. Never in the history of faults has this been further your fault!”
“I-I don't understand.”
“Koyama-kun came to visit me today.” Pi says abruptly.
“He did?” He didn’t even know that Koyama knew where drug dealers would hang out.
“Why do you keep pushing yourself away from him? Why are you so reluctant on showing him your true feelings? Is it that difficult? Though I suppose I should congratulate you, too,” he adds with a laugh, “Not once in my life have I ever heard of Nishikido Ryo play the love card.” All the joking is out of Pi’s voice. Instead, it turns low and gravel-like, making him shudder because this is not the fun-loving, tragic-play-quoting drug-dealer he knows, this is an entirely different one wearing an expression of grief and the disappointment of someone who has just seen death.
“Shige. You want to know why I didn't try harder to make you mine? It would’ve been so easy to go ahead and fuck you, and you know it. But you know why I stopped?”
He shook his head, feeling his breath catch in his throat. I’ve always liked your face.
“Because,” Pi continued, “Ryo means the world to me. He's my best friend. I would never betray him because I love him more than anything in the universe.
“I was sure you knew that feeling. Now I'm not so sure.”
And Yamashita, too, leaves.
He walks home from Akanishi’s house, by himself. At the end of the street, he stops by a convenience store and buys a pack of nicotine gum for people who want to quit smoking. Halfway through unwrapping a stick, he remembers Pi’s gum-chewing metaphor, and in another fit of ill-wrought emotion, discards the pack and takes out his lighter and a Marlboro, instead. And it finally dawns on him that he’s really the biggest idiot in the universe.
And he feels the last breath of struggle leave him, feels the last rush of blood drain out of his body, hears the swan song of the fallen prey as its eyes lock upon the greatest predator in all the savannas on Earth, love.
Inescapable.
END OF PART II
__________________
And just in case you're about to abandon ship...
Will we ever solve the mystery of Nishikido's habit of sexualizing Tego's ass? Or wait, is that a spoiler?
Will the haunting story of Uebo-hime ever become unearthed?
Is Shige really going to get carted off to the mental hospital?
When the hell are Kame and Jin going to do it, anyway?
All this, and more, shall be revealed in....
The Excommunication of Ueda Tatsuya (School!AU KAT-TUN spinoff)
Game Theory and Equilibriums, Part III of the ill-fated NEWScentric School!AU. This one shall be situated around a drug dealer.
Headache-inducing, no? Thanks for reading.
Pairing: Koyama/Shige/Ryo, + YamaPi.
Author:
ezyls_girl .
Rating: PG-15.
Warnings: Profanity. I was too lazy to incorporate the sexual bits. :P
Summary: At the end of the day, he's really the biggest idiot in the universe. End of PART II.
School!AU, Shige-centric.
Notes: Egads. This has gone on for too long. Stay-tuned for the KAT-TUN spinoff~
Previously:
PART I ----- / prologue / chapter one / chapter two / chapter three / chapter four /
PART II ---- / chapter one / chapter two / chapter three / chapter four / chapter five /
They're learning significant figures and scientific notation in third grade math. One million, the teacher scrawls on the board in chalk, ten to the power of nine.
“How many numbers makes a million, again?” Koyama asks, scratching his head, “Shige, I don't get it.”
He thinks of going for the conventional answer. A thousand times ten times ten times ten, but then decides against it-Kei-chan breaks the world record for becoming confused three times a week.
Instead, he asks, “Well. How many stars are there in the sky?”
“An unfathomable amount,” Koyama grins, happy to use a big word.
He has to smile, too.
“There's your answer.”
∞∞
The storm is meticulous in its ability to become erratic and randomized, never blowing in the same direction as the minute before, and certainly not pushing around the same things forever. Three seconds in, an orange-furred cat goes by, claws outstretched, mouth open in an angry yowl. Fifty-seven seconds later, water from the Pacific is blown into the shores of the Atlantic. After that, trees fall, wind solidifies and light hems and haws on the horizon line, unable to decide on the perfect way to regain the visibility of a boat caught in its scuppers.
The only thing that remains constant is him. Standing in the trail of debris the gale has left behind, the cat fur and the water droplets, he's there because he has to stay. He is looking for his heart.
It’s all so confusing. The feeling starts when he kisses Ryo’s best friend. There’s a flutter in his chest at first, a timid hop and a careful caress, followed by fingers lacing between his and then suddenly both of them are rolling around on the couch, gasping and fondling each other, until Pi stops it and apologizes.
In all other respects, it had been a regular day-he was presented with another perfect score on the stoichiometry exam in science, the last piece of the plan to firmly state his name as the highest-scoring three-year class valedictorian. He skipped the first half of PE to smoke and the second half to receive a ravishing from Ryo in the locker rooms (leaving him short of breath, his shirt on backwards, a line of red marks pittering down from his neck to his stomach, and two minutes late to his next class). After school, Ryo leaves with Koyama on another date to the shopping mall with a swimming pool, and when he's walking back home, he suddenly feels a pair of rough hands grabbing the scruff of his collar and wheeling him in the opposite direction. He's about to shout for help, with the kidnapper's hand clamps over his mouth. The smell of mint, old books, and cheap marijuana overpowers his nostrils. Oh, great.
When Pi finally lets go of Shige, the two of them are standing in Akanishi Jin's living room.
Alone.
They talk. Pi starts rambling about the similarities of bubble gum and the meaning of life. And then it evolves into making out. He doesn't know how.
“I've always liked your face.” And that’s all that Pi offers as an explanation after wiping his lips on his sleeve and straightening his shirt. Both of them are equally shocked at what had occurred on the couch. “But you're also Ryo-chan's, and I make it a rule not to steal anything that isn't mine to take.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Oh, don't get me wrong,” Pi chuckled, “You're completely worth it, if not more, and I'd steal anything from anyone else. But...”
“...it's Ryo,” he finished for him.
“Exactly.”
It's odd. Both of them are perfectly sure that, given any other timeline, had it been switched around, if Pi had gotten to Shige first and if Shige had been completely devoted to Pi, it still wouldn’t have mattered-Ryo would've had no trouble taking him.
Anyway, he supposes that that's not how it really began. It might've been Jin who started it in the first place. You could expect that crazy arsonist to come up with anything.
The day before the incident, it’s Jin who makes the bewildering statement that sets it all off. Akanishi’s like the tail end of a sack of fireworks-the kind that are tied up in thick red bundles as a symbol of the fate of the comic relief characters of a cartoon.
Lunch break. Koyama’s off with Ryo in the corner of the library. The two of them are giggling and whispering in low voices next to the World Classics and he’s trying to not feel jealous of both Koyama and Ryo at the same time. Jin, having probably just finished spray-painting the bathroom walls with obscenities, lands on the chair next to him and scares him half to death with a pat on the shoulder.
“Hey, Shige, don’t you think Koyama’s cute?” He doesn’t bother to lower his voice, so half the room’s staring back at him. The couple by the World Classics does not seem to notice the sudden silence.
“Whatever gave you that idea?” He said reluctantly. Between the two of them, conversing with Jin is awkward at best and never productive.
There's silence, as Akanishi pauses to think up a clever answer. He's really not very bright, he thinks wryly.
“He’s like a pretty flower, isn’t he?” Jin tries again.
He puts his book on Sophocles on the wooden table, spine up. “Okay. What the hell are you talking about?”
“Like Uebo. Before that dickhead Nishikido made him move away.” Akanishi takes out a lunchbox, ignoring the glares being transmitted over radioactive waves from the librarian’s desk and ripping open a plastic bag with his teeth.
“You’re not supposed to eat in here,” he mutters.
“Metaphorically-speaking, of course,” Jin ignores his line, too, and begins to munch unnecessarily loudly on pre-packaged nori in his box, “But either way, the clues are too obvious to ignore. Ryo-chan's got his work cut out for him. I know it when I see it and I thought I'd tell you first, since your his best friend and all.”
“What?”
“Oh, you’ll see.” This time, all he sees is a smirk and then Akanishi Jin ditches him, too.
And he does find out. The very next day.
Koyama's limping. His face, on the morning of January 17th, is timid blushing and fear and depression and pain, rolled into one and squashed flat by a frying pan.
“What happened?” he blurted out during chemistry lab, receiving the first ever reprimand from the teacher for it.
“Oh, it's obvious now, isn't it?” And this time it's Jin again who's speaking, and he's got a bag full of curiosity to match, “So how was it, Koyama-kun? Painful? Exhilarating? Is Ryo-chan as big as he says he is, or was I stupid enough to believe him?”
He opens his mouth to retort -Jin’s stupid either way- but he’s too shocked. “I-I think he's p-pretty big,” Koyama offered meekly, half-scared and half-fascinated. The first thing he's said all day.
“I don't believe it,” he muttered, and left the library as fast as he could.
And he could hear Akanishi in the background, taking him too literally, “But how can you know, Shige? It's not like you've ever slept with anybody!”
--
“You fucked him.” It wasn’t a question.
Ryo wouldn't look him in the eye. “He wanted me to.”
And an unimagined rage took hold of him. He was suddenly angry with himself. What he had done, he had ruined Koyama's life. Because of him, Koyama was walking around in an expression of pure torture. Another side of him had been jealous of Koyama’s ability to have sex with Ryo without the fear of anyone barging in on them, but it was so ludicrous and wrong on so many levels. He felt himself reach forward and hit Ryo in the stomach. He didn't try to defend himself when Shige landed another punch on his chest, just clutched it in reclusive motion.
“I hate you. I hate you.”
Ryo flinched, “Shige, listen to me…”
“No,” he kicked Ryo in the chest and felt sore about it when he let out another grunt, “We were fine before you came. We were best friends. I loved him. He liked girls. But you had to go ahead and fuck it all up, didn't you? Why did he have to go for such a sick, sick bastard? And you don't give a shit what happens to us. I hate you.”
There’s blood smeared across Ryo’s face from his broken nose.
“I love you,” Ryo's whisper was nearly inaudible above his heavy breathing. He stood up. “There, I said it. Shige, I love you. I fell in love with the boy who hit me in the face over a book. I fell in love with you then. Are you happy now?”
He couldn't process it. He couldn't process the pained look across Ryo's face, couldn't process his words, couldn't process the tears in his eyes or the regret in his voice. All he could do was keep hitting Ryo, biting his lips until they started to bleed, and they fell to the floor again, Nishikido finally trying to stop his fists and for once, Kato Shigeaki’s brain did not work, for once it did not function correctly, it stopped buzzing, it stopped thinking, it stopped and there was nothing but the sound of wind whistling in his ears and the pounding of his heart.
Maybe that's how he ended up kissing Yamapi on Akanishi Jin's sofa. It was more twisted than the fourth act of Twelfth Night. He could just as well play Cesario and Sebastian at once and no one could tell the difference.
--
And even then, he is unable to stay away from Nishikido for long.
Koyama's standing at the edge of the doorframe, a frozen smile on his face and eyes wide. Koyama's laugh, shrill and bare from any emotion.
He watches him go.
--
“I guess it was bound to happen, wasn't it.” He sighs. They're standing together, leaning against the glass balcony window side by side. The summer night air is a little too chilly for June, the sluggish heat of day has vanished. There’s a few half-hearted birds chirping and the sound of someone revving a motorbike far away. All the same, it’s a dreadful day.
“That really depends, ne,” Yamapi says coldly, “It could've been perfectly avoidable. And Euripides would be turning in his moldy grave.”
He grimaces, “It's not exactly all my fault, though, right?”
“Really? Explain.”
“He said he loves me.” It came out more or less close to a mumble, and now that he thought about it, this was possibly the most pathetic reason he’s ever heard of. Like trying to cover up a mountain with a paper umbrella. The storm will just blow it away.
And to his surprise, Pi responds by spitting out the rest of his cigarette and stamping on it furiously. “Loves you, huh. And you’re going to go on and say that this isn’t your fault? Tell me you're not serious. This is entirely your fault. Never in the history of faults has this been further your fault!”
“I-I don't understand.”
“Koyama-kun came to visit me today.” Pi says abruptly.
“He did?” He didn’t even know that Koyama knew where drug dealers would hang out.
“Why do you keep pushing yourself away from him? Why are you so reluctant on showing him your true feelings? Is it that difficult? Though I suppose I should congratulate you, too,” he adds with a laugh, “Not once in my life have I ever heard of Nishikido Ryo play the love card.” All the joking is out of Pi’s voice. Instead, it turns low and gravel-like, making him shudder because this is not the fun-loving, tragic-play-quoting drug-dealer he knows, this is an entirely different one wearing an expression of grief and the disappointment of someone who has just seen death.
“Shige. You want to know why I didn't try harder to make you mine? It would’ve been so easy to go ahead and fuck you, and you know it. But you know why I stopped?”
He shook his head, feeling his breath catch in his throat. I’ve always liked your face.
“Because,” Pi continued, “Ryo means the world to me. He's my best friend. I would never betray him because I love him more than anything in the universe.
“I was sure you knew that feeling. Now I'm not so sure.”
And Yamashita, too, leaves.
He walks home from Akanishi’s house, by himself. At the end of the street, he stops by a convenience store and buys a pack of nicotine gum for people who want to quit smoking. Halfway through unwrapping a stick, he remembers Pi’s gum-chewing metaphor, and in another fit of ill-wrought emotion, discards the pack and takes out his lighter and a Marlboro, instead. And it finally dawns on him that he’s really the biggest idiot in the universe.
And he feels the last breath of struggle leave him, feels the last rush of blood drain out of his body, hears the swan song of the fallen prey as its eyes lock upon the greatest predator in all the savannas on Earth, love.
Inescapable.
END OF PART II
__________________
And just in case you're about to abandon ship...
Will we ever solve the mystery of Nishikido's habit of sexualizing Tego's ass? Or wait, is that a spoiler?
Will the haunting story of Uebo-hime ever become unearthed?
Is Shige really going to get carted off to the mental hospital?
When the hell are Kame and Jin going to do it, anyway?
All this, and more, shall be revealed in....
The Excommunication of Ueda Tatsuya (School!AU KAT-TUN spinoff)
Game Theory and Equilibriums, Part III of the ill-fated NEWScentric School!AU. This one shall be situated around a drug dealer.
Headache-inducing, no? Thanks for reading.