Comments | sans_identity: It's just that I've been looosssingg soooooo loooonnngg.

sans_identity

It's just that I've been looosssingg soooooo loooonnngg.

Jan 06, 2008 21:47

I've been feeling very empty lately. Things have started to slow down, everyone has gone back to school. I am all but forgotten in this wicked world. I forgot what it felt like to be alone. It has its good and bad points, although I suppose the bad points mainly stem from remembering what it's like when you're not alone. I know how to be alone, but ( Read more... )

Comments 23

scottydid January 7 2008, 04:51:54 UTC

Juno was a good movie...I loved every part of it.

sans_identity January 7 2008, 18:18:52 UTC

Uh huh. Yep it was pretty great.

amoergosum January 7 2008, 06:22:51 UTC

at risk of sounding like a broken record i have to insist that meaning must be found within the individual and that outside of that there is nothing but chaos and emptiness. no one can demand a meaning or a purpose in the rest of population. many have tried. they call them prophets. universal meaning is the more of an opiate then religion. people want answers. you want answers. you want meaning. you have to find it first before you can indulge in its beauty (or lack there of ( ... )

sans_identity January 7 2008, 18:18:13 UTC

Well that's pretty fucking bleak. The only reason why we're here is because we are bound to this earth by "the pointless love we have for the little things in it." There is a lot of life left to live...but I'm not sure it's worth it. No I don't know everything, obviously, but I'm really looking for a sign right now that things are going to get better. Everytime I turn around things somehow get worse. I am blatantly ignored by those who used to call me one of their closest friends as a matter of convenience to them. How is that supposed to make me feel ( ... )

amoergosum January 8 2008, 19:42:40 UTC

i find it very disturbing that when i try to offer some words of wisdom and concern (however bleak they may be) i get shot down but at the same time accused of not fighting for you as a friend. i must admit that you give me very little reason to fight for you as a friend and very little reason to be in your life and keep you in mine. i don't believe in individuals because this world is full of too much self-compromise. you do it, i do it. we all do it. if you want me to lie to you and tell you there is so much to live for and that the world is full of love and beauty i will do that from now on. it seems that you, like the rest of the world, would rather settle for what is pretty than what is true ( ... )

kudzzuu January 9 2008, 04:50:55 UTC

Good luck with that anniversary. You probably don't remember that the 10th is also my mother's birthday, but hey, maybe you do. I don't know. At the very least I can say that I don't wish you hadn't survived it, rather, I'm glad you did survive it and I wish you didn't wish you hadn't. (hooray for complex sentences). So, wake up on the 10th for another year and I promise someday it'll all have been worth it, even if that's not anytime soon.

Thread 5

suutaf January 9 2008, 07:54:59 UTC

um, you might be in a bad state now and that is really understandable. i am totally free to hang out with you (every day but the 14th) until the 18th. i also have a comment pending for this entry that i'm gathering the pieces of.

if you are feeling any degree of horrible: burrow and hibernate.

sans_identity January 9 2008, 16:44:01 UTC

Haha it's what I'm trying to do. It's really hard to avoid everything right now. I'd love to hang out...perhaps we can see a movie or something.

suutaf January 11 2008, 00:30:42 UTC

(i've been trying not to reply because i actually have a real reply, but i'm fucking lazy. and i've not been waking up until 5pm. so yeah, a movie? what movie?)

suutaf January 11 2008, 00:37:23 UTC

(the bottom comment also pisses me off, everything about it, so i was forced to reply. expect the real comment much later tonight. i may or may not have extracted Paul Newman singing Plastic Jesus to include with my comment. i may or may not have a life)

Thread 9

le_moulin_rouge January 10 2008, 06:32:41 UTC

wow i haven't been on lj for a looong time, but i feel like i finally have to speak out.

megan, there are people, myself included, who are willing to fight for you every day and who will always be there for you if you want us to be there. we might not have the time or be able to hang out with you, but that doesn't mean we love you any less or that we'll ever stop caring about you.

cameron, i don't know you, but i do know this: committing suicide does not make you a hero. and please, individuality? well, you don't have it that's for sure so how would you know if it's real or not. and don't ever talk to anyone like that again. it's disgusting. if you want to die, that's none of my business, but don't try to bring the world down with you.

anyhoo, megan, i love you sooooo much and i'm sorry we couldn't hang out over winter break! :D

sans_identity January 12 2008, 04:34:37 UTC

Hey, thanks for being supportive, Cera. I haven't seen you in a while but it's nice to know you still want to be a part of my life. It makes me feel good to know you care.

Thanks!
Love,
Megan

suutaf January 12 2008, 10:42:40 UTC

PART 1I must start on a rather harsh note, in saying that life is about dealing with things. Everyone has to deal with things that they must deal with, are forced to deal with, and never wanted to deal with. You know this. And of course, it would be nice if you had someone to help you deal with it, but even when you have someone, you still have to finish it off yourself. Parts of people will always be impenetrable and incomprehensible to others (see CSR's (why does he put his full name everywhere) saying, "every creature on this earth dies alone," only with less of a completely drowned-in-existentialism view) and so, certain things will always have to be completed all by your lonesome ( ... )

suutaf January 12 2008, 10:43:02 UTC

PART 2I feel odd passing judgement on your relationship with CSR, but fuck it I'm going to ( ... )

suutaf January 12 2008, 10:43:15 UTC

PART 3
Megan, I have to say that he is not for you, nor is he ready to be with anyone until he is helped to understand that life isn't a burden and gets the guts to care even when he's pushed away (men > boys).

This is shameless own-relationship-insertion but I feel I need to back up my point with a little evidence: Robert, whom I've been with for nearly three years, has never withheld care from me. He would further, never think of asking me to prove to him that he is important to me in exchange for his care. The mere idea of it just mocks our relationship even on a friendship level.

anyway, I made a compilation of tracks for you when I first read the entry, and don't know if they're still relevant now, but they're nice songs you might like and might not have, so here you go anyways. (it has, among some other stuff: Gangsta rap, Bill Murray, Paul Newman, and American Beauty.)

sans_identity January 12 2008, 16:42:13 UTC

" So, from what I feel, you do not seem to be frightened that there is no metaphysical joy to be squeezed from existence anymore from intangible pleasures. Instead, you are just shit scared that you will miss out on the greatest joy of living, that is, duh, love, unfortunately. This more insignificant fear of yours, when coupled with your obvious fear that you are in some way deformed, or wrong, that will lead to your lack of love and companionship equals: absolute shitting-a-brick existential terror that somehow, somewhere, someone has completely screwed you over, that the world is against you, and you are just a little girl despondently trucking through, enduring all sorts of unavoidable pains under the delusion that you will somehow find that you are not at all completely fucked up and find that happiness that makes it all worthwhile ( ... )

Thread 5