ok ( Read more... )

sober men ask for my number now, and are nice.
people actually respectfully hit on me, and then follow up in a timley and adorable manner.
i am....wanted? 
what?

I have one man in love with me- who i am trying to work on things with and still want to end up with, i think. But for now we are just best friends.- aaron

i have another who i have been seeing ( Read more... )

 i felt ,at random moments today, that i was running out of time...i often feel like that when i am scared of nothing in particular and need to distract myself or procrastinate. or when i feel like i might have failed at accomplishing one of those not so healthy goals fed by the fear of a bad desicion or crappy 'self-esteem' ( i hate that phrase ( Read more... )

Another relationship ended ( Read more... )

MEG!! EMAIL ME ( Read more... )

Through some people saying it to hurt me, and others saying it just because its true, i have come to learn that I am melo-dramatic to a dislikable degree. to the point where some people find me hard to be around. i find myself second guessing old friendships, randomly wanting to appologize to people past and present,  and feeling just generally ( Read more... )

So, evrything is good.

realizing there isnt some secret answer to happiness everyone else is in on and only I am lacking....

kinda nice to know if i am out of a loop its one i dont need in on to survive.

and things with Mr. Levy, the boyfriend, Aaron. fucking good.

Love my job, 
really good on the acting front (more on that after tomorrow).

gotta go
( Read more... )

( i will never have a normal relationship and you know, you might, but i dont have to...and i am becoming ok with that---wow)
(sobering up after a pickled and smoked weekend) HAD A FUCKING BLAST
on another note:

could i be manipulating a situation for myself that can just be unhealthy/way to easy

being able to fuck others and still be in this amazin ( Read more... )

Home safe
alone
thank god.
no one here. 
seriously nice feeling.
came home happy, alone, with the sun coming up.

listened to guster after parting ways with tynan and alex on their way further into brooklyn, and the music really showed me how high and mighty i was starting to feel
yes, i feel high and mighty-- 
that though this up coming week, as i make ( Read more... )

a bloody fucking fool

a waste of thoughts and feelings careening towards a realization i am glad came before the fucking down fall that is this pist off feeling in my stomach.

and yet some guy is hitting on me

and yet....

i dont understand what is up with this moment.................

i should probably go live it

(liz, help me)