What forever feels like -- 9
What forever feels like; Jinki/Minho; G
note: Interpret Jinki's feelings as you will. I realize in the past chapters I might have left some things rather unclear, like what I mean by "sometimes goodbyes just happen", or how goodbye vs the end relate to the timeline of Jinki and Minho's relationship, or the whole deal with memories and ghosts. As for chapter 8, you can take it at face value or you can say Jinki is in denial. Anyway, I will try to tie up loose ends that I want to tie up in the chapter after this... I welcome all questions!
Oh and there is a point to the similes in this chapter. 8)
prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine
Chapter nine
Words never do feelings any justice.
They are never precise enough.
And they always fall short of the real thing.
......
What is going through my mind at this moment?
I can't quite put it together in any language known to man.
In a way, it's like finding liberation after an eternity of solitary confinement.
Like a hot air balloon that has dumped all its ballast.
Like a ship that just lost its anchor.
Like a fracture without a cast.
A wheel without spokes.
A book without bindings.
A photo without its frame.
A sail without its mast.
All of a sudden, I have nothing to support me.
All of a sudden, I have nothing to restrain me.
There is just...nothing.
And I am weak in the knees.
I don't have much of a coherent reason for crying.
I don't think I need one.
A bucket of water doesn't stay a bucket of water once the bucket is gone.
As gravity dictates, everything falls.
Pure and simple.
I am no longer a prisoner of the past.
I am free.
Yet somehow using freedom as a description seems like an abuse of the word.
Because this freedom is a lonely thing.
I am relieved, but empty.
So I guess the question now is:
The hole that Minho left behind - have I fallen inside it or is today the day that I have finally managed to fill it all up?
......
epilogue
note: Interpret Jinki's feelings as you will. I realize in the past chapters I might have left some things rather unclear, like what I mean by "sometimes goodbyes just happen", or how goodbye vs the end relate to the timeline of Jinki and Minho's relationship, or the whole deal with memories and ghosts. As for chapter 8, you can take it at face value or you can say Jinki is in denial. Anyway, I will try to tie up loose ends that I want to tie up in the chapter after this... I welcome all questions!
Oh and there is a point to the similes in this chapter. 8)
prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine
Chapter nine
Words never do feelings any justice.
They are never precise enough.
And they always fall short of the real thing.
......
What is going through my mind at this moment?
I can't quite put it together in any language known to man.
In a way, it's like finding liberation after an eternity of solitary confinement.
Like a hot air balloon that has dumped all its ballast.
Like a ship that just lost its anchor.
Like a fracture without a cast.
A wheel without spokes.
A book without bindings.
A photo without its frame.
A sail without its mast.
All of a sudden, I have nothing to support me.
All of a sudden, I have nothing to restrain me.
There is just...nothing.
And I am weak in the knees.
I don't have much of a coherent reason for crying.
I don't think I need one.
A bucket of water doesn't stay a bucket of water once the bucket is gone.
As gravity dictates, everything falls.
Pure and simple.
I am no longer a prisoner of the past.
I am free.
Yet somehow using freedom as a description seems like an abuse of the word.
Because this freedom is a lonely thing.
I am relieved, but empty.
So I guess the question now is:
The hole that Minho left behind - have I fallen inside it or is today the day that I have finally managed to fill it all up?
......
epilogue