Countdown -- 6
Measure it out in inches; Jinki/Minho; PG-13
note: Proper paragraphs are difficult to write. ^^;
prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Chapter six
On this day, Kibum was going to watch a movie with two of his friends, and at his insistence I tagged along. He didn't even tell me the name of the thing or what it was about, just that it was some recent sci-fi action flick. Because we were delayed on the way, there weren't a lot of seats left by the time we got in. The three of them sat next to each other, sharing two buckets of popcorn. Never having been one to eat and watch at the same time, I sat by myself in the row behind them. To my right was a couple on a date, and so I was thankful that I had the aisle seat and could lean away to the left.
It was funny how I was surrounded by people and I came here with friends, but once the lights dimmed and Kibum stopped turning around, I felt completely isolated. Isolated, and at peace-no one who'd ask me to pass the popcorn, no one who'd whisper comments in my ear. No interruptions. Just me and the unfolding story.
The good thing about fiction was that for its duration, you could immerse yourself in someone else's reality. And although I didn't acknowledge it, I probably wanted to get out of my own shoes.
I just didn't know what I was in for.
Science fiction action film.
Or so I was told. But in the latter half, for a while, the movie turned into a tragedy. I stared, transfixed, at one of the supporting characters. I watched him die. And after a while, he was just lying there, perfectly serene, absolutely still. (Was this what death was like? Was death this quiet? This photogenic?) All the troubles that had been plaguing him only moments earlier became irrelevant with such surreal ease. One moment it seemed like things could never be resolved and the next, they were over. But I wouldn't say he died happily. He had yet to be reconciled with the love of his life. And as he was dying, he was all alone. He didn't even have the comfort of family or friends.
Why was it like this? How could it turn out like this...
"Excuse me, could you guys quiet down?"
A deep voice next to me yanked me back to reality.
I glanced to the side and saw that the speaker was the man sitting on my right. His request was directed toward Kibum's two friends, who had been chuckling and teasing him. When Kibum smacked both of them and turned around to apologize on their behalf, there happened to be an explosion in the movie. The sudden burst of bright light lit up his face.
His pale tear-streaked face.
In that moment, my heart stopped beating.
What was playing on the screen I didn't know and didn't care about.
My mind couldn't take in anything, much less process anything.
And then, by accident, I met the eyes of the man beside me. But no matter how I squinted and stared, I couldn't make out his expression. It was only after a minute had passed that the realization finally hit me. The reason why I couldn't see his face wasn't that it was too dim inside the theater; it was because I was crying.
Ah. I was crying. So the tears finally came.
It was a raging flood that I was powerless against.
My chest was so constricted it felt like my ribs were broken and my lungs had collapsed.
I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe.
I just hurt.
I was in pain.
And that raw, overwhelming pain was eating me up alive.
I didn't bother with explanations or apologies. I didn't worry about appearances or consequences. My mind had shut down and the only thing that I could still bring myself to do was to run. So I did. I bolted out of that place as fast as my stumbling legs would carry me.
I had to get away.
Before there was nothing left of me.
I knew what was happening.
And I knew why.
I was finally afraid.
......
chapter 7
note: Proper paragraphs are difficult to write. ^^;
prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Chapter six
On this day, Kibum was going to watch a movie with two of his friends, and at his insistence I tagged along. He didn't even tell me the name of the thing or what it was about, just that it was some recent sci-fi action flick. Because we were delayed on the way, there weren't a lot of seats left by the time we got in. The three of them sat next to each other, sharing two buckets of popcorn. Never having been one to eat and watch at the same time, I sat by myself in the row behind them. To my right was a couple on a date, and so I was thankful that I had the aisle seat and could lean away to the left.
It was funny how I was surrounded by people and I came here with friends, but once the lights dimmed and Kibum stopped turning around, I felt completely isolated. Isolated, and at peace-no one who'd ask me to pass the popcorn, no one who'd whisper comments in my ear. No interruptions. Just me and the unfolding story.
The good thing about fiction was that for its duration, you could immerse yourself in someone else's reality. And although I didn't acknowledge it, I probably wanted to get out of my own shoes.
I just didn't know what I was in for.
Science fiction action film.
Or so I was told. But in the latter half, for a while, the movie turned into a tragedy. I stared, transfixed, at one of the supporting characters. I watched him die. And after a while, he was just lying there, perfectly serene, absolutely still. (Was this what death was like? Was death this quiet? This photogenic?) All the troubles that had been plaguing him only moments earlier became irrelevant with such surreal ease. One moment it seemed like things could never be resolved and the next, they were over. But I wouldn't say he died happily. He had yet to be reconciled with the love of his life. And as he was dying, he was all alone. He didn't even have the comfort of family or friends.
Why was it like this? How could it turn out like this...
"Excuse me, could you guys quiet down?"
A deep voice next to me yanked me back to reality.
I glanced to the side and saw that the speaker was the man sitting on my right. His request was directed toward Kibum's two friends, who had been chuckling and teasing him. When Kibum smacked both of them and turned around to apologize on their behalf, there happened to be an explosion in the movie. The sudden burst of bright light lit up his face.
His pale tear-streaked face.
In that moment, my heart stopped beating.
What was playing on the screen I didn't know and didn't care about.
My mind couldn't take in anything, much less process anything.
And then, by accident, I met the eyes of the man beside me. But no matter how I squinted and stared, I couldn't make out his expression. It was only after a minute had passed that the realization finally hit me. The reason why I couldn't see his face wasn't that it was too dim inside the theater; it was because I was crying.
Ah. I was crying. So the tears finally came.
It was a raging flood that I was powerless against.
My chest was so constricted it felt like my ribs were broken and my lungs had collapsed.
I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe.
I just hurt.
I was in pain.
And that raw, overwhelming pain was eating me up alive.
I didn't bother with explanations or apologies. I didn't worry about appearances or consequences. My mind had shut down and the only thing that I could still bring myself to do was to run. So I did. I bolted out of that place as fast as my stumbling legs would carry me.
I had to get away.
Before there was nothing left of me.
I knew what was happening.
And I knew why.
I was finally afraid.
......
chapter 7