wake up
once in a while i want to write about an issue here but then i remember who reads this and i have to censor myself. oddly i have no problem venting when strangers or acquaintances are reading, or potential stalkers and people who despise me, want me dead, buried alive, throttled, decapitated, etc. etc. but the more friends there are and the closer i am to them, the smaller the scope of my content.
by the way, i'm atrociously behind on replying to people through just about every medium, and i promise that i will really want to catch up and probably won't anytime in the near future. but i'll try!
i had to act as my father's chauffeur today since his car is in the shop for repairs. i don't know if he just snorted some of my sister's cocaine right before i burst through the door or what but he was off his fucking rocker. at one point when i was standing in his way, he shoved past me and nearly spun me like a top in the process of doing so rather than ask me to kindly step aside. i delivered anecdotes in the car to entertain him as is characteristic of me and his response would be about something completely off topic. when we were parked in the store lot, he exited the car and turned to me gravely and said, "keep your window cracked or you will die of carbon monoxide poisoning." and then he hurried away, so then i immediately flung open my cell phone and emergency dialled my mom and stepfather at their respective work places inquiring of my chances of dying from self-inflicted carbon monoxide poisoning while in an open, expansive parking lot that was not submerged in the middle of a heavy snowstorm. they both called back while i was waiting and dawned the news on me that i was not in mortal danger.
my dad returned and we set off on an adventurous and exciting voyage to home depot. whatever was wrong with him was making him terribly annoying or just downright persnickety because the entire time he was under the assumption that i had completely forgotten how to drive after having done it extensively for the last three years. i mean, when i was veering onto the highway, he felt inclined to tell me to merge, as though i didn't know and actually thought i was supposed to aim for the cars in my lane. when we arrived at home depot, my father physically abused my toyota camry. he stepped out and heavily slammed the door directly against the passenger seatbelt buckle. i cringed at the resounding clang. his waif form scurried back to the car in haste and, without looking, violently slammed it again only this time on the belt itself. "would you stop it??!" i shrieked at him in utter frustration and shock. it was like being a witness for crimes against toyota camrys. i was really getting tired of watching my beloved car suffer because my father fails to close doors properly. the third time was a charm but seeing the scratch on the belt made me feel vindictive- never mind the fact that he bought me the car two years ago and the only part of it i've actually paid for is the black and white striped seat cover, which is completely sexy by the way. additionally, it would be a tragic idea to reciprocate unjust seatbelt thrashing against his own vehicle when in a month his new red bmw m roadster is due to arrive. can i get a humble, "mid-life crisis"?
i had a funny moment at a gas station on the way home. i walked in to pay and got in line behind an incredibly tall man. he was probably about 6'4"- yes, it's not like that's unheard of, but when you're 5'2" it really enforces a hobbit complex. he turned around and looked at me, and he seemed remarkably struck by our extreme height differences and continued to turn around and regard me with befuddlement as though we were a part of a confounding predicament. he seemed fascinated and absorbed. as the line dawdled, he resumed staring at me and pondering my existence which could only reach his waistline. i stared right back, or should i say i stared almost straight up so i could see his face and pretended to ponder with him in unison. i would have laughed if only he weren't hundreds of pounds heavier and over a foot taller than me, capable of crushing me in an insant. i really fucking hate tall people and i wish i was tall so i could gaze condescendingly on smaller girls inside mobil stations and feel good about myself and my height which gives me intrinsic superiority.
i haven't written in a while. so, what other shit have i fucked up? i ended up breaking and i dropped history and english, so now i'm in the two classes i don't mind which are, ironically, math and science classes. even with the lightened load and the excessive amount of free time on my hands i still managed to skip both classes last thursday on account of fatigue. i almost worked up the nerve to apply for a position at a bookshop in the city, but if you knew my track record with jobs, you'd understand why i didn't. there're already too many places out there for my liking that i'm probably not allowed back to. somewhere along the line, i became really damned good at not showing up.
by the way, i'm atrociously behind on replying to people through just about every medium, and i promise that i will really want to catch up and probably won't anytime in the near future. but i'll try!
i had to act as my father's chauffeur today since his car is in the shop for repairs. i don't know if he just snorted some of my sister's cocaine right before i burst through the door or what but he was off his fucking rocker. at one point when i was standing in his way, he shoved past me and nearly spun me like a top in the process of doing so rather than ask me to kindly step aside. i delivered anecdotes in the car to entertain him as is characteristic of me and his response would be about something completely off topic. when we were parked in the store lot, he exited the car and turned to me gravely and said, "keep your window cracked or you will die of carbon monoxide poisoning." and then he hurried away, so then i immediately flung open my cell phone and emergency dialled my mom and stepfather at their respective work places inquiring of my chances of dying from self-inflicted carbon monoxide poisoning while in an open, expansive parking lot that was not submerged in the middle of a heavy snowstorm. they both called back while i was waiting and dawned the news on me that i was not in mortal danger.
my dad returned and we set off on an adventurous and exciting voyage to home depot. whatever was wrong with him was making him terribly annoying or just downright persnickety because the entire time he was under the assumption that i had completely forgotten how to drive after having done it extensively for the last three years. i mean, when i was veering onto the highway, he felt inclined to tell me to merge, as though i didn't know and actually thought i was supposed to aim for the cars in my lane. when we arrived at home depot, my father physically abused my toyota camry. he stepped out and heavily slammed the door directly against the passenger seatbelt buckle. i cringed at the resounding clang. his waif form scurried back to the car in haste and, without looking, violently slammed it again only this time on the belt itself. "would you stop it??!" i shrieked at him in utter frustration and shock. it was like being a witness for crimes against toyota camrys. i was really getting tired of watching my beloved car suffer because my father fails to close doors properly. the third time was a charm but seeing the scratch on the belt made me feel vindictive- never mind the fact that he bought me the car two years ago and the only part of it i've actually paid for is the black and white striped seat cover, which is completely sexy by the way. additionally, it would be a tragic idea to reciprocate unjust seatbelt thrashing against his own vehicle when in a month his new red bmw m roadster is due to arrive. can i get a humble, "mid-life crisis"?
i had a funny moment at a gas station on the way home. i walked in to pay and got in line behind an incredibly tall man. he was probably about 6'4"- yes, it's not like that's unheard of, but when you're 5'2" it really enforces a hobbit complex. he turned around and looked at me, and he seemed remarkably struck by our extreme height differences and continued to turn around and regard me with befuddlement as though we were a part of a confounding predicament. he seemed fascinated and absorbed. as the line dawdled, he resumed staring at me and pondering my existence which could only reach his waistline. i stared right back, or should i say i stared almost straight up so i could see his face and pretended to ponder with him in unison. i would have laughed if only he weren't hundreds of pounds heavier and over a foot taller than me, capable of crushing me in an insant. i really fucking hate tall people and i wish i was tall so i could gaze condescendingly on smaller girls inside mobil stations and feel good about myself and my height which gives me intrinsic superiority.
i haven't written in a while. so, what other shit have i fucked up? i ended up breaking and i dropped history and english, so now i'm in the two classes i don't mind which are, ironically, math and science classes. even with the lightened load and the excessive amount of free time on my hands i still managed to skip both classes last thursday on account of fatigue. i almost worked up the nerve to apply for a position at a bookshop in the city, but if you knew my track record with jobs, you'd understand why i didn't. there're already too many places out there for my liking that i'm probably not allowed back to. somewhere along the line, i became really damned good at not showing up.