365 Days of Love Rants
day 34 : two is better than one
pg
two is better than one || 1211wc
“We should all go to the countryside!”Key proposed enthusiastically opposite me with Onew lying down on his lap at the lunch table.
“Yeah,and we should invite Jonghyun and Taemin as well!”Onew said, the words pierced me,and the strings of words and complaints Key muttered towards Onew something about being insensitive dimmed away as my eyes fixed on a couple at the musician table across the cafeteria.
They were in bliss, in love, they had everything that at the moment I weep over for lacking it and scorn at due to jealousy.
It was my ex, Lee Taemin, with all beauty and glory casted upon him with his new beau, Kim Jonghyun. It had been months since I had broken his heart and turned my back away when his eyes were pouring down all the heaviness it had felt. But now, I was the one who had my heart shred into pieces for my ego and bland words I thrown at him during our break-up.
“Minho,Minho, what do you think of inviting them?”Key asked, it was an undeniable fact, that Key was entirely acute and understanding about this situation. He had been the one that advice me to apologise to Taemin sincerely, he knows this was inevitable but I was swallowed by my hefty pride and ego, and now I’m paying the price, and it’s not cheap at all.
“I’m fine with it.”I muttered coldly, stood up from my seat leaving them. Since that night, I had returned to this cold persona and back to my shell, not letting anyone intrude me as I wallow for my mistake and my diamond-headedness.
~
The temperature outside had dropped to 2 celcius, and my eyes starting to blur with tears with my hands tucked in my overcoat pockets. We were all set for the trip, loading the bags in the van, my eyes fell open him shivering and his little feet jumping up and down in attempt of heating himself with his beanie almost falling from his head. I wanted to help him and wrap him in my overcoat, I walked forward but Jonghyun appeared, placing the beanie right and embraced him, kissing his forehead. I clench my fist and was ready to leave.
“Hey, Minho.”Jonghyun greeted me when he realised, and Taemin’s head tilted higher with his eyes fall on me.
“I should probably check if there’s more to load.”I replied and went away from the scene.
~
The ride was unbearable to say the least; I sat at the front side, next to the driver who was a loquacious and I drift away brooding, drowned in my thoughts, listening to the driver’s speech in haze watching the scenery changes it form. They travelled out from under the orange glow of the suburbs into the darkened remnants of countryside. Buildings were replaced with lines of trees. I watch from the rear view mirror, Onew and Key was already dozing off with their limbs tangled and Taemin who was on the farthest seat with Jonghyun had his head rested on the latter’s shoulders with his eyes shutting and Jonghyun was murmuring a lullaby, slipping a kiss on the top of his head. He snuggled closer, and I averted my gaze to the nature once again as my heart pounded with what I recognised as a mixture of regret and jealousy. I had that once upon a time, but I let it slide away from my grasp carelessly.
~
The snow thicken and the other passengers of the van had dozed off leaving me and the driver wide awake, the bungalow we had rented for the weekend had come to view. It was idyllic and bucolic even from this distance, with weathered stone covering its perimeter and the green shrubbery peeking beneath the piles of snow. Perhaps, this weekend wouldn’t be that bad.
~
We unloaded our luggage and bid farewell to the driver. It was indeed a winter wonderland with the expanse of white cottons covering the land. I admired the scenery a little longer, inhaling the fresh air. When I turned around, Taemin was trying to carry his luggage and I took large steps wanting to help him when Jonghyun appeared, Taemin smiled widely and I moved away from them heading to inside the bungalow. How am I supposed to get him back when Jonghyun was everything that I never was?
~
The evening was chillier as we retreated in front of the fire in the living room, with Onew and Key on the couch all cosy up and Taemin sipping his shared hot chocolate with Jonghyun on the otherside.I was an outcast to this picture.
“Minho, join us.”Key suggested merrily. I sat on the Persian rug on the middle between the two couples; the light from a coal fire spilled across the floor, the rest of the room was in semi-darkness. All I heard was murmurs of sweet nothings and my ears were in pain of hearing them being muttered, I was literally dying by and by. Jonghyun stood up from the couch and went away, and Taemin eyed him just like the way I once would be gazed upon.
Jonghyun returned with a guitar and took his seat.
“I dedicate this song to my beautiful lover, Lee Taemin.”He started off, strumming and reciting the words that I believed come from his heart as I later found out was written by him. How could I beat a man who writes Taemin the poetry he deserved? Taemin hummed along and by the end of the song, they kissed and I moved away back to my room with sympathetic glances from Onew and Key.
~
It was the last night of our stay, when I was stirred from my sleep. I went downstairs, straight on to the living room whose warmth and faint aroma of bread and coffee suggested wakefulness.
Taemin was there sitting in front of the fire sipping his warm beverage and a plate of cookies. I sat opposite him being self-conscious of our proximity.
“Hey, can’t sleep?”I greeted unsure of his response. He nodded as he continued sipping,his gaze were blank.
“I need to tell you something.”I proceeded, knowing perhaps this will be the only time I will have this chance.
“Go on.”He offered me cookies which I accept.
“I’m still..”I started out, and before the sentence could be completed, Jonghyun appeared kissing his cheek.
“Baby, why didn’t you wake me up?”Jonghyun asked concern. And, I was stabbed knowing that in the past I had been the reason for his restless night, waiting for me to arrive home in the middle of the night. And, when he asked me, I yelled at him mercilessly.
“You look so tired and I didn’t dare to wake you up.”Taemin replied with a yawn.
“Come, let’s sleep. I can’t sleep without you next to me.”Jonghyun placed his arm around Taemin’s waist and they went away leaving me behind.
Somehow, I had given up breaking them apart; I’m incompetent with all my mistakes and wrongdoings.
Perhaps, I should let Taemin be happy.
That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
- Two is better than one - Boys like Girls feat. Taylor Swift
pg
two is better than one || 1211wc
“We should all go to the countryside!”Key proposed enthusiastically opposite me with Onew lying down on his lap at the lunch table.
“Yeah,and we should invite Jonghyun and Taemin as well!”Onew said, the words pierced me,and the strings of words and complaints Key muttered towards Onew something about being insensitive dimmed away as my eyes fixed on a couple at the musician table across the cafeteria.
They were in bliss, in love, they had everything that at the moment I weep over for lacking it and scorn at due to jealousy.
It was my ex, Lee Taemin, with all beauty and glory casted upon him with his new beau, Kim Jonghyun. It had been months since I had broken his heart and turned my back away when his eyes were pouring down all the heaviness it had felt. But now, I was the one who had my heart shred into pieces for my ego and bland words I thrown at him during our break-up.
“Minho,Minho, what do you think of inviting them?”Key asked, it was an undeniable fact, that Key was entirely acute and understanding about this situation. He had been the one that advice me to apologise to Taemin sincerely, he knows this was inevitable but I was swallowed by my hefty pride and ego, and now I’m paying the price, and it’s not cheap at all.
“I’m fine with it.”I muttered coldly, stood up from my seat leaving them. Since that night, I had returned to this cold persona and back to my shell, not letting anyone intrude me as I wallow for my mistake and my diamond-headedness.
~
The temperature outside had dropped to 2 celcius, and my eyes starting to blur with tears with my hands tucked in my overcoat pockets. We were all set for the trip, loading the bags in the van, my eyes fell open him shivering and his little feet jumping up and down in attempt of heating himself with his beanie almost falling from his head. I wanted to help him and wrap him in my overcoat, I walked forward but Jonghyun appeared, placing the beanie right and embraced him, kissing his forehead. I clench my fist and was ready to leave.
“Hey, Minho.”Jonghyun greeted me when he realised, and Taemin’s head tilted higher with his eyes fall on me.
“I should probably check if there’s more to load.”I replied and went away from the scene.
~
The ride was unbearable to say the least; I sat at the front side, next to the driver who was a loquacious and I drift away brooding, drowned in my thoughts, listening to the driver’s speech in haze watching the scenery changes it form. They travelled out from under the orange glow of the suburbs into the darkened remnants of countryside. Buildings were replaced with lines of trees. I watch from the rear view mirror, Onew and Key was already dozing off with their limbs tangled and Taemin who was on the farthest seat with Jonghyun had his head rested on the latter’s shoulders with his eyes shutting and Jonghyun was murmuring a lullaby, slipping a kiss on the top of his head. He snuggled closer, and I averted my gaze to the nature once again as my heart pounded with what I recognised as a mixture of regret and jealousy. I had that once upon a time, but I let it slide away from my grasp carelessly.
~
The snow thicken and the other passengers of the van had dozed off leaving me and the driver wide awake, the bungalow we had rented for the weekend had come to view. It was idyllic and bucolic even from this distance, with weathered stone covering its perimeter and the green shrubbery peeking beneath the piles of snow. Perhaps, this weekend wouldn’t be that bad.
~
We unloaded our luggage and bid farewell to the driver. It was indeed a winter wonderland with the expanse of white cottons covering the land. I admired the scenery a little longer, inhaling the fresh air. When I turned around, Taemin was trying to carry his luggage and I took large steps wanting to help him when Jonghyun appeared, Taemin smiled widely and I moved away from them heading to inside the bungalow. How am I supposed to get him back when Jonghyun was everything that I never was?
~
The evening was chillier as we retreated in front of the fire in the living room, with Onew and Key on the couch all cosy up and Taemin sipping his shared hot chocolate with Jonghyun on the otherside.I was an outcast to this picture.
“Minho, join us.”Key suggested merrily. I sat on the Persian rug on the middle between the two couples; the light from a coal fire spilled across the floor, the rest of the room was in semi-darkness. All I heard was murmurs of sweet nothings and my ears were in pain of hearing them being muttered, I was literally dying by and by. Jonghyun stood up from the couch and went away, and Taemin eyed him just like the way I once would be gazed upon.
Jonghyun returned with a guitar and took his seat.
“I dedicate this song to my beautiful lover, Lee Taemin.”He started off, strumming and reciting the words that I believed come from his heart as I later found out was written by him. How could I beat a man who writes Taemin the poetry he deserved? Taemin hummed along and by the end of the song, they kissed and I moved away back to my room with sympathetic glances from Onew and Key.
~
It was the last night of our stay, when I was stirred from my sleep. I went downstairs, straight on to the living room whose warmth and faint aroma of bread and coffee suggested wakefulness.
Taemin was there sitting in front of the fire sipping his warm beverage and a plate of cookies. I sat opposite him being self-conscious of our proximity.
“Hey, can’t sleep?”I greeted unsure of his response. He nodded as he continued sipping,his gaze were blank.
“I need to tell you something.”I proceeded, knowing perhaps this will be the only time I will have this chance.
“Go on.”He offered me cookies which I accept.
“I’m still..”I started out, and before the sentence could be completed, Jonghyun appeared kissing his cheek.
“Baby, why didn’t you wake me up?”Jonghyun asked concern. And, I was stabbed knowing that in the past I had been the reason for his restless night, waiting for me to arrive home in the middle of the night. And, when he asked me, I yelled at him mercilessly.
“You look so tired and I didn’t dare to wake you up.”Taemin replied with a yawn.
“Come, let’s sleep. I can’t sleep without you next to me.”Jonghyun placed his arm around Taemin’s waist and they went away leaving me behind.
Somehow, I had given up breaking them apart; I’m incompetent with all my mistakes and wrongdoings.
Perhaps, I should let Taemin be happy.
That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
- Two is better than one - Boys like Girls feat. Taylor Swift