Fandom Carols
A re-pimping of some old favourites and one new addition. Feel free to share, though do credit. Enjoy!
We Wish You a Slashy Christmas by sapphic85
Multi-Fandom Carol about the Joys of Slash Fanfic (NSFW)
We wish you a slashy Christmas,
We wish you a slashy Christmas,
We wish you a slashy Christmas and a porn-filled New Year.
KY and cock rings, foreplay and rimming.
We wish you a slashy Christmas and a porn-filled New Year.
So write us some smutty fanfic,
So write us some smutty fanfic,
So write us some smutty fanfic and hardcore one-shots.
With toys and bindings, bondage and fucking.
Go write us some smutty fanfic and hardcore one-shots.
No we won’t comment ‘til we get some,
No we won’t comment ‘til we get some,
No we won’t comment ‘til we get some, so update right now!
With angst-filled fighting, hot men cross-dressing
We won’t comment ‘til we get some, so update right now!
For we all love our twisted fandom,
For we all love our twisted fandom,
For we all love our twisted fandom, so girls raise a cheer
For kinks like spanking, blood-play and whipping.
We wish you a slashy Christmas and a porn-filled New Year.
Winchesters by sapphic85
Supernatural-Themed Carol to the tune of Jingle Bells. Season 1&2 (gen).
CHORUS:
Winchesters, Winchesters, Winchesters Sam and Dean
Love to ride in an Impala and kill things that are mean.
Winchesters, Winchesters, Winchesters Sam and Dean
Love to ride in an Impala and kill things that are mean.
Beware of the full moon, when werewolves hunt for hearts.
Silver bullet to the chest, before they tear you apart.
Hunting vampire rings, immune to stakes and light.
Use Dead Man’s Blood, decapitate, but oh watch out, they bite!
Take out a Rakshasha, Hindu demon, not a clown,
With a brass knife to the heart, turn his smile into a frown.
The djinn has nasty tricks, using dreams that cannot be.
Destroy him as he drinks your blood, and set your spirit free!
It steals your form and name, sheds skin when it shapeshifts.
Look for the tell-tale eyes, use silver to stop its gift.
The Shtriga comes at night, steals life force from childs asleep,
Watch out for vengeful big brothers who shoot you while you feed!
Searching the headstones, and digging up the mud.
Wading through the bones, and washing off the blood.
Add gas and salt and burn. Back to Hell they go.
With gripping plots and two hot boys? What an awesome show!
John Watson and Sherlock Holmes flawedamythyst and sapphic85
Sherlock Holmes-Themed Carol to the tune of The Holly and the Ivy (gen).
John Watson and Sherlock Holmes
Doctor and Detective
Catching criminals no-one else can
On Baker Street they live
He's a consulting detective
Called upon by Scotland Yard
Always pointing out their incompetence
And upstaging Lestrade
Long-suffering John Watson
Is always there on hand
Documenting their adventures
In publications in the Strand
Housekeeper Mrs Hudson
Has the patience of a saint
Odd experiments, late-night violins
And a laundanum complaint.
Observation and Deduction
It’s elementary, my dear
When Sherlock Holmes is on the case
There’s no need for you to fear
John Watson and Sherlock Holmes
Doctor and Detective
Catching criminals no-one else can
On Baker Street they live
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by sapphic85 et al.
Sherlock-Themed Carol to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (gen).
God rest ye merry gentlemen who live on Baker Street
Lestrade has come to tell you of a corpse found in the sleet
And call on Sherlock’s unique skills, it’s stumped the Yard’s elite.
Oh tidings of murder and crime, murder and crime
Oh tidings of murder and crime
The crime scene proves revealing, though Anderson’s missed all clues.
The toupée is irrelevant, it’s all in the left shoe.
How dull those who observe and not just see are sadly few.
Oh tidings of murder and crime, murder and crime
Oh tidings of murder and crime
Fuelled by intrigue and nicotine, Sherlock reviews the facts
Plays violin at 3am, and sticks on a fourth patch
Converses with the skull and ignores John’s calls to relax
Oh tidings of murder and crime, murder and crime
Oh tidings of murder and crime
A text to John, the game is on! there’s loose ends to this case
Through London’s streets and underground they lead a merry chase
To catch the devious villain who was sure he’d left no trace
Oh tidings of murder and crime, murder and crime
Oh tidings of murder and crime
The case now solved our gentlemen return to Baker Street
Where Mrs Hudson has prepared a well earned pot of tea
Til boredom next sets in they bask in domesticity
Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Hark the Weeping Angels Cry by sapphic85 et al.
Doctor Who-Themed Carol to the tune of Hark the Herald Angels Sing (gen).
‘Hark!’ the Weeping Angels cry,
‘Lo! A TARDIS in the sky!’
This bright blue box, the Doctor’s ride,
Is much bigger on the inside.
It boasts a pool and library,
This stolen ship, known as Sexy.
Stuck in its Police Box form;
Herald of the Oncoming Storm.
[refrain]
Hail the son of Gallifrey!
Hail the last of the Time Lords!
Much to the Dalek’s dismay
He did not fall in the Time Wars.
With the power to regenerate,
This man they can’t exterminate.
Trust him, he’s The Doctor
Armed with his sonic screwdriver.
[refrain]
The Angels he erased from time
As punishment for their crime.
The Cybermen failed to upgrade;
The Silence in our memories stayed
He frees each oppressed alien nation;
Upholds the Shadow Proclamation.
Tremble Dalek boys and girls
Before the Destroyer of Worlds!
[refrain]
Lovers, friends have come and gone
Sarah Jane and River Song.
Companions Donna, Martha, Rose,
Clara, Ponds and Jack in tow.
Madame Vastra, Strax, Jenny.
Geronimo! Allons-y!
They travelled all of time and space
Saved each downtrodden alien race.
[refrain]
Hail once more to UNIT’s pride
Whose government work is classified.
His existence to most’s a myth,
This mysterious John Smith.
He really doesn’t want to go,
This man whose real name no-one knows,
Ends his days on Trensilore
The Doctor’s tomb forevermore.
[refrain]
Merry Christmas!
We Wish You a Slashy Christmas by sapphic85
Multi-Fandom Carol about the Joys of Slash Fanfic (NSFW)
We wish you a slashy Christmas,
We wish you a slashy Christmas,
We wish you a slashy Christmas and a porn-filled New Year.
KY and cock rings, foreplay and rimming.
We wish you a slashy Christmas and a porn-filled New Year.
So write us some smutty fanfic,
So write us some smutty fanfic,
So write us some smutty fanfic and hardcore one-shots.
With toys and bindings, bondage and fucking.
Go write us some smutty fanfic and hardcore one-shots.
No we won’t comment ‘til we get some,
No we won’t comment ‘til we get some,
No we won’t comment ‘til we get some, so update right now!
With angst-filled fighting, hot men cross-dressing
We won’t comment ‘til we get some, so update right now!
For we all love our twisted fandom,
For we all love our twisted fandom,
For we all love our twisted fandom, so girls raise a cheer
For kinks like spanking, blood-play and whipping.
We wish you a slashy Christmas and a porn-filled New Year.
Winchesters by sapphic85
Supernatural-Themed Carol to the tune of Jingle Bells. Season 1&2 (gen).
CHORUS:
Winchesters, Winchesters, Winchesters Sam and Dean
Love to ride in an Impala and kill things that are mean.
Winchesters, Winchesters, Winchesters Sam and Dean
Love to ride in an Impala and kill things that are mean.
Beware of the full moon, when werewolves hunt for hearts.
Silver bullet to the chest, before they tear you apart.
Hunting vampire rings, immune to stakes and light.
Use Dead Man’s Blood, decapitate, but oh watch out, they bite!
Take out a Rakshasha, Hindu demon, not a clown,
With a brass knife to the heart, turn his smile into a frown.
The djinn has nasty tricks, using dreams that cannot be.
Destroy him as he drinks your blood, and set your spirit free!
It steals your form and name, sheds skin when it shapeshifts.
Look for the tell-tale eyes, use silver to stop its gift.
The Shtriga comes at night, steals life force from childs asleep,
Watch out for vengeful big brothers who shoot you while you feed!
Searching the headstones, and digging up the mud.
Wading through the bones, and washing off the blood.
Add gas and salt and burn. Back to Hell they go.
With gripping plots and two hot boys? What an awesome show!
John Watson and Sherlock Holmes flawedamythyst and sapphic85
Sherlock Holmes-Themed Carol to the tune of The Holly and the Ivy (gen).
John Watson and Sherlock Holmes
Doctor and Detective
Catching criminals no-one else can
On Baker Street they live
He's a consulting detective
Called upon by Scotland Yard
Always pointing out their incompetence
And upstaging Lestrade
Long-suffering John Watson
Is always there on hand
Documenting their adventures
In publications in the Strand
Housekeeper Mrs Hudson
Has the patience of a saint
Odd experiments, late-night violins
And a laundanum complaint.
Observation and Deduction
It’s elementary, my dear
When Sherlock Holmes is on the case
There’s no need for you to fear
John Watson and Sherlock Holmes
Doctor and Detective
Catching criminals no-one else can
On Baker Street they live
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by sapphic85 et al.
Sherlock-Themed Carol to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (gen).
God rest ye merry gentlemen who live on Baker Street
Lestrade has come to tell you of a corpse found in the sleet
And call on Sherlock’s unique skills, it’s stumped the Yard’s elite.
Oh tidings of murder and crime, murder and crime
Oh tidings of murder and crime
The crime scene proves revealing, though Anderson’s missed all clues.
The toupée is irrelevant, it’s all in the left shoe.
How dull those who observe and not just see are sadly few.
Oh tidings of murder and crime, murder and crime
Oh tidings of murder and crime
Fuelled by intrigue and nicotine, Sherlock reviews the facts
Plays violin at 3am, and sticks on a fourth patch
Converses with the skull and ignores John’s calls to relax
Oh tidings of murder and crime, murder and crime
Oh tidings of murder and crime
A text to John, the game is on! there’s loose ends to this case
Through London’s streets and underground they lead a merry chase
To catch the devious villain who was sure he’d left no trace
Oh tidings of murder and crime, murder and crime
Oh tidings of murder and crime
The case now solved our gentlemen return to Baker Street
Where Mrs Hudson has prepared a well earned pot of tea
Til boredom next sets in they bask in domesticity
Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Hark the Weeping Angels Cry by sapphic85 et al.
Doctor Who-Themed Carol to the tune of Hark the Herald Angels Sing (gen).
‘Hark!’ the Weeping Angels cry,
‘Lo! A TARDIS in the sky!’
This bright blue box, the Doctor’s ride,
Is much bigger on the inside.
It boasts a pool and library,
This stolen ship, known as Sexy.
Stuck in its Police Box form;
Herald of the Oncoming Storm.
[refrain]
Hail the son of Gallifrey!
Hail the last of the Time Lords!
Much to the Dalek’s dismay
He did not fall in the Time Wars.
With the power to regenerate,
This man they can’t exterminate.
Trust him, he’s The Doctor
Armed with his sonic screwdriver.
[refrain]
The Angels he erased from time
As punishment for their crime.
The Cybermen failed to upgrade;
The Silence in our memories stayed
He frees each oppressed alien nation;
Upholds the Shadow Proclamation.
Tremble Dalek boys and girls
Before the Destroyer of Worlds!
[refrain]
Lovers, friends have come and gone
Sarah Jane and River Song.
Companions Donna, Martha, Rose,
Clara, Ponds and Jack in tow.
Madame Vastra, Strax, Jenny.
Geronimo! Allons-y!
They travelled all of time and space
Saved each downtrodden alien race.
[refrain]
Hail once more to UNIT’s pride
Whose government work is classified.
His existence to most’s a myth,
This mysterious John Smith.
He really doesn’t want to go,
This man whose real name no-one knows,
Ends his days on Trensilore
The Doctor’s tomb forevermore.
[refrain]
Merry Christmas!