Fight for You Part III
Title: Fight for You 3/7
Rating: PG/PG-13
Genre: angst, action/adventure, romance
Characters: Claire, Charlie, Desmond
Summary: AU. Claire is suspicious enough when Desmond comes and asks Charlie to help him with a project but when she discovers that Desmond nearly let Charlie get killed by Rousseau’s arrow trap, she realises that they’re both still keeping secrets from her. When she discovers that Charlie is actually planning to die in the Looking Glass so that she might be rescued, Claire insists that the decision be taken out of his hands and puts the other survivors to a vote. From there, it’s all AU fun and games!
Disclaimer: If Lost was mine, this is what would have happened instead of the season finale. The lyrics in the cut and used in the title are from “The Special Two” by Missy Higgins.
Part One, Part Two
~*~
Greatest Hits
“So let me get this straight,” Jack said, running a bewildered hand over his hair. “Charlie has to unblock the signal because he’s the only one who can do it - but if he does it then he’s gonna die?”
“Pretty much,” Desmond said grudgingly. He’d been glaring at Claire intermittently since she had spilled the proverbial beans. Neither she nor Charlie had had any time to consult him before Jack had called them all in for the big camp meeting. It had all been going quite swimmingly until Jack had decided that the signal needed to be unblocked at the same time that the survivors called for help from up at the radio tower. When he had turned to ask Charlie if he was still up for a swim, Charlie had cleared his throat awkwardly and Claire had swiftly taken the floor, explaining that no he wasn’t really up for a swim.
It was at this point that Desmond had spoken up and a great shouting match had then taken place in which the survivors had been given a somewhat garbled, abridged version of Desmond’s flashes and what it meant for Charlie if he swam down to the station. Most of them were still staring blankly at the people next to them, not really understanding what was going on. Claire however, was very aware of what was going on and she was doing her best to hold court.
“So you see why I didn’t think that this was a decision that Charlie should be allowed to make on his own?” Claire said, appealing to the other members of the camp. “It impacts on all of us - especially if we send him down there, knowing that he’s going to die.”
“We’ll put it to a vote then,” Jack said, sounding thoroughly frustrated. “We can’t waste any more time that we don’t have. All those in favour of Charlie swimming down to the Looking Glass on what could probably be a suicide mission?”
The crowd was silent, shifting restlessly on their feet.
And then Desmond slowly raised his hand.
“Desmond!” Claire gasped.
He glared at her and then stared defiantly around at other castaways who muttered amongst themselves. Charlie however, nodded at him and Claire felt furious. Desmond was all but signing Charlie’s death warrant and he was approving of it?
“And all those in favour of Charlie not swimming down to the station?”
Every single other hand went up.
Charlie shook his head and sighed.
“You’re all making a huge mistake,” he said sadly. “I’ve got to be the one to unblock the signal.”
“I can do it,” Sayid interjected. “I will swim down there.”
“We’ll need someone else to stay behind to shoot the dynamite then,” Jack pointed out. “And I can’t do it because I need to stick with the group heading up to the radio tower.”
“It has to be Charlie who swims down there,” Desmond spoke up unexpectedly. His face was pale but his voice was strong. “Charlie is the only one who’ll be able to turn the jammer off.”
“And why’s that Kilt-man?” Sawyer said nastily.
“Because, Sawyer,” Desmond said, deathly quiet. “He just is.”
A long silence followed this pronouncement and then Charlie laughed suddenly, breaking the tension.
“This is absolutely ridiculous,” he scoffed. “No matter how many times we recount the votes I’m still going to go down there anyway. Whether you lot like it or not, it’s all been pre-ordained - fate and all that.”
“There’s no such thing as fate,” Jack said disapprovingly. “Somebody else will be able to do it.”
“How do you know that?” Charlie challenged. “What if somebody goes down there and then finds out that they can’t unblock it for whatever reason and we’re all on our way up to the radio tower, totally clueless?”
A tense silence followed this and then Charlie turned appealing to his camp mates. Claire watched him gaze around at them all, a determined set to his jaw, and a strange feeling swelled up within her.
It was a moment or two before she realised that it was pride.
“I’m supposed to do this,” Charlie told them all, his voice firm. “And if I happen to die in the process of getting everybody else rescued…well then so be it. In the grand scheme of things my death for the rescue of everybody else? It’s not that big a deal. And if I don’t die…” he paused. “Well then I’ll be the first person to give myself a big congratulatory pat on the back and I hope you’ll all follow suit.”
A spatter of chuckles escaped the crowd.
“If you really think that you’re going to die down there then we need to make sure that there’s somebody with you to stop that from happening then,” Jack sighed. “We need somebody to check everything out and make sure that it’s going to be safe. And no Sayid,” he interjected quickly. “Not you. We need you here to set off the dynamite.”
“I’ll go with him,” Desmond said instantly. “I’ve seen what’s gonna happen, maybe I can still change it.”
Claire turned, her heart going into her throat. After what Hurley had told her she had been getting more and more suspicious of Desmond’s motives. Just how far would he go before he gave up on Charlie altogether? He’d done it once already so there was no doubt in her mind that he could do it again in a heartbeat.
“That sounds like a good idea,” Jack was saying. “Okay so Desmond is going to go with Charlie, everyone else needs to…”
“If Desmond’s going then I’m going too,” Claire interrupted loudly. All eyes turned to her. Charlie simply gaped in disbelief.
“No you aren’t!” Jack spluttered, apparently just as shocked as everyone else. “You need to take care of your son!”
“Charlie needs me more than Aaron does right now,” Claire argued. “And I promised Charlie that I’d take care of him.”
“Like you could stop him from drowning,” Desmond scoffed.
“Well at least I’d actually try!” Claire turned an icy glare on him. “Which is more than I can say for certain people who nearly let Charlie die because they thought they’d get to see their girlfriend again!”
A surprised murmur went through the crowd and Naomi’s expression flickered.
“Well as it turned out,” Desmond said coldly. “I was right. Maybe if I’d let him die Penny would have been the one in the parachute.”
“Naomi was already in the parachute,” Claire said, disgusted. “No matter whether you let Charlie die or not, it still would have been her and not Penny.”
“You don’t know that!” Desmond flared up immediately.
“Neither do you!” Claire abruptly turned to Jack. “I’m going with him Jack whether you like it or not. I don’t trust Desmond with him anymore.”
“Fine,” Jack said angrily. “I just hope you remember that you’ve got a two month old infant who’s going hungry while you’re off gallivanting in the ocean.”
“Coconut milk works as a good substitute,” Sun chimed in. “It’s not quite as good as breast milk and it takes more effort but I’ve used it before when I’ve watched him. I’d be more than happy to take care of Aaron for her.”
“Fine then,” Jack snapped. “I can’t afford to waste any more time on this or else I’d argue some more. Claire, get Sun set up with Aaron’s stuff. If he gets sick or dies while you’re away then it’ll be on your conscience, not mine.” Claire flinched at this but Jack was already turning around to the other survivors, rallying them to go. “Everyone else go and start packing your bare essentials - blankets, jackets, food - and then fill up your drink bottles and then meet back here as quickly as possible.”
Claire turned to Charlie who was shaking his head at her.
“You don’t have to do this,” he murmured, crossing his arms awkwardly. “You don’t have to try and prove anything to me.”
“I’m not trying to prove anything,” she insisted. “I just don’t trust Desmond to keep you safe anymore.”
Desmond glanced over at them and grimaced painfully at her words before turning his back and shambling off down the beach again.
“Cut him some slack would you?” Charlie said, frowning after Desmond. “He’s a good bloke. It’s not his fault he keeps on seeing me die.”
“Maybe not,” Claire conceded. “But if he’s willing to sacrifice you for his own selfish reasons then I’m sorry Charlie…” Charlie regarded her with wary eyes, clearly he was a little upset at the animosity Claire was expressing towards Desmond. “…But I just can’t trust him to keep you safe anymore.”
~*~
Claire trailed her fingers in the fast moving water on the opposite side of the outrigger to the underwater cable, keeping herself hunched and small in the tiny space between the two men. She was feeling jumpy and frightened now that they were out on the water. It all felt so much more real out here and yet surreal at the same time. The sun beat overhead - she could almost feel it crisping her fair skin - and her feet were fairly melting inside her shoes but she still felt like she was floating up somewhere near the clouds.
The plan was that Charlie would swim down to the Looking Glass alone first. If he wasn’t back out in ten minutes then Desmond would go after him and bring him back to the surface whilst Claire watched the boat. She had been annoyed at being given the task of babysitting but - as both Charlie and Desmond had pointed out - she had the most to lose. If she somehow ended up drowning then Aaron would surely die.
And so, grudgingly, she had agreed to their terms - knowing that if push came to shove that she would gladly jump in anyway, despite everything that everyone had said, despite her fears for her son. Despite her readiness to come with Charlie, she had been loathe to say goodbye to her son when the time came. Jack’s disapproving glares hadn’t helped matters either but Sun had been adamant.
“He’ll be fine,” she insisted, jigging Aaron in her arms. “And Rose said that she’s going to help me with him as well. You go and do what you need to do,” she smiled a little. “Go take care of your other man.”
“Okay,” Claire had said, taking shallow breaths as she bit her lip. “Okay then. Okay.”
“You know you can still back out,” Charlie said quietly from behind her and Claire turned to glare at him. He shrugged sheepishly. “Just saying…”
“Bye sweetie,” Claire had kissed her son decisively, tucking the arm that was tugging on her hair back into his blanket. “Mummy loves you okay? But she’s got to go look after Charlie for now.”
Charlie had crept in then, and said his own goodbye to him. The child had reached up to his face, lovingly Claire thought. She had watched them both together, smiling slightly as Charlie had run a hand over Aaron’s downy hair and then bent to kiss his forehead…
“We’re here,” Desmond announced suddenly.
Claire started out of her thoughts and then jumped again when Charlie tapped her on the shoulder and held out a piece of paper to her. In his other hand was a Sharpie and Claire wondered vaguely when he’d had time to write whatever it was that he’d written.
“This is for you,” he told her. Claire took it from him gingerly and then stared at it, non-plussed.
“What is it?” Desmond asked interestedly.
Charlie paused as he stared down at the piece of folded paper in Claire’s hands, thoughtful and quiet. “It’s the five best moments of my…sorry excuse for a life.” He smiled ruefully. “My greatest hits.” Claire glanced down at the piece of paper in her hands - so fragile - and then back to Charlie who had the most melancholy expression on his face that she had ever seen. “You know,” he clarified. “Memories. They’re all we’ve really got at the end of it all, isn’t it?” he looked earnestly at Claire. “I want you to take it. Just in case...”
“Don’t say that,” Claire snapped warningly. “Don’t you dare even think about saying it! I’m not taking it.” she pushed them back towards him stubbornly. “There’s not going to be a ‘just in case’ Charlie. I don’t want your bloody list.”
“She’s right,” Desmond said suddenly. “You don’t have to do this, Charlie.”
“What?” Claire said uncertainly.
“Des?” Charlie looked just as confused.
Desmond puffed out his chest, a pleased smile growing on his features. “I’ll go.”
“Desmond!” Claire gasped.
“No,” Charlie protested but his voice lacked any real sort of conviction. “Your flashes...”
“Maybe,” Desmond mused. “I keep seeing you die because I’m supposed to take your place.”
“What about your girl?” Charlie said, clearly grasping at straws now. “Penny?”
“What about your girl?” Desmond nodded at Claire and Charlie grinned despite himself. “Besides - I might be luckier than you.”
For a moment Claire felt selfish for being so pleased at this sudden turn of events, but then she remembered that it was Desmond who had suggested it in the first place and she began to feel excited. Everything was going to be okay now, Desmond might had seen Charlie unblocking the signal in his vision - surely he’d seen enough details that he could do it without Charlie actually being there? She and Charlie could wait up here for him and when he got back they could all go back to camp together. Maybe they could even catch up to the others…?
“Well, you can keep your memories to yourself then can’t you?” Claire said primly, handing them back to Charlie who took the piece of paper grudgingly.
“Aye,” Desmond agreed, looking happier than Claire had seen him in weeks. “I’ll take it from here.”
He began to pull his shoes off but Claire touched a hand to his arm and said, quietly, “Thank you Desmond. Really - it means it a lot that you would do this.”
“It’s nothing,” He shrugged it off, but he looked pleased by her praise all the same. “You might want to move behind Charlie, I don’t want to knock you out of the boat by accident.”
“Sure,” Claire began to climb over the top of Charlie who was shaking his head
“I dunno what to say Des,” Charlie said quietly.
“You could uh, tell me where the weight belt is,” Desmond said somewhat sheepishly.
“Right there behind you,” Charlie nodded at it. As Desmond turned and grasped the weight belt, Charlie shuffled forwards and picked up the oar - to move it out of the way and make more space for her Claire presumed.
Until of course Desmond went to turn around again and Charlie clubbed him across the head with it.
Claire shrieked in fright and jumped backwards, almost falling out of the boat in her shock as Desmond crumpled over the edge. Charlie stood there for a moment, breathing shallowly as Claire trembled in the bottom of the boat. And then he swung around decisively. His face was almost unrecognisable as he hefted the oar more comfortably into his hands, like he was wielding a sword.
And for the first time since she’d known him, Claire felt truly terrified of him.
She knew that look in his eyes all too well. She’d seen it on the night that he’d stolen Aaron from her, when he’d been standing in the surf crying his eyes out. It was the look of a man so desperate that he had lost all sense and reason. But even back then he hadn’t really scared her. This Charlie - the man standing over her with a heavy lump of wood in his hand, ready to knock her out - this Charlie terrified her.
Claire screwed her face up and clenched her fists, waiting for the blow that would render her unconscious, but something made Charlie hesitate and she seized her opportunity.
“Charlie,” she breathed, horrified. “Charlie please…”
His arms were already trembling from holding up the weight of the oar and now his lip was trembling to match as he stared down at her, breathing unevenly through his mouth.
“You’ve already hurt Desmond,” Claire said pleadingly. “Don’t hurt me like this too!”
“He knows as well as I do that he’s not supposed to take my place,” Charlie said suddenly, his voice breaking. “I couldn’t let him…and I can’t let you stop me now...”
“I know you feel like you have to do this, I know Charlie. But you don’t have to do it alone,” Claire leant forward and brushed the hem of his jeans with just her fingertips, looking up at him pleadingly. “Please?”
“This was so much easier before you said that you loved me!” Charlie snapped suddenly and he threw the oar down so hard that it bounced off the side of outrigger, fell into the water and instantly began to sink through the water. Claire flinched visibly as Charlie pushed both hands through his hair and grasped a handful of the bleached straw between trembling fingers. “Bloody hell Claire! Why’d you have to say it? It would have been so much easier to do this if you’d just not…if you’d never said…”
“I thought I was going to lose you!” Claire pushed herself to her feet and the boat rocked alarmingly. The two of them grabbed onto each other for balance and Claire was surprised to see that Charlie had actually started crying - hot, angry tears dripping down his face. “I thought I was going to lose you,” she repeated, a little quieter as the boat slowly stopped rocking from side to side.
They stared at each other for a long moment and then Charlie spoke, his voice hoarse. “Since the moment you said it I’ve been questioning every single thing that I’m doing,” he shook his head. “And I really don’t know what to do anymore. Seems like every decision I make about what to do about these bloody flashes is the wrong one!”
“Well no wonder!” Claire cried. “Why would you think that I’d want you to die for me?”
Charlie sank down into the boat again and Claire sat down with him, clasping his hands tightly.
“Let me help you,” she said beseechingly. “Desmond saw you dying, but he never saw what would happen if we tried to change it. I mean,” she beamed suddenly, a wonderful thought occurring to her. “What if me being here stops you from dying? Maybe we can still fix this!”
Charlie swallowed hard and looked up at her. “What if we can’t?”
Claire bit her lip. He was right - she was getting carried away with herself now. What if she couldn’t save him? What if he died anyway? But then she reached forward and grasped his hand tightly.
“I’m with you to the end Charlie,” Claire said firmly. “No matter what that end might be. I can’t sit by and wait for you to be taken away from me - I won’t do it.”
Charlie looked up, his eyes were still worried but there was a small glimmer of hope forming in the corners. “You mean that?”
“Of course I do,” Claire whispered. “I’ll do everything I can to save you Charlie. Even if it means I have to fight fate itself to keep you.”
Charlie’s face pinched as he leant forward to embrace her. Claire put her arms around his neck in turn and squeezed tight. Never before had she felt such a strong, inexplicable need to hold onto somebody and not let go. She knew from personal experience that it was much easier to just let go, to give up on them. But she knew beyond all doubt now - she didn’t want to give up on Charlie.
She would have let go a long time ago otherwise.
“Come on,” she said thickly, pulling back. “Let’s do this.”
“Yeah,” Charlie said, nodding as he wiped his face. He passed her the weight belt and Claire did her best to not drop it on her foot whilst she watched Charlie pull Desmond neatly back into the boat again and lay him down gently. Almost as an afterthought, Charlie took his Greatest Hits out of his jeans pocket and tucked it into Desmond’s breast pocket. Turning back to Claire again, his jaw set determinedly, Charlie took the weight belt and wrapped it around his left wrist.
“Hold on tight to my hand,” he instructed, offering her the hand that had the weight belt wrapped around it. Claire reached out and took his hand firmly, lacing her fingers with his. “I’ll lead the way - you just hold on tight so that we don’t get separated okay?”
“Okay,” Claire’s mouth was dry as they stood there together, shoulder to shoulder in the outrigger. Looking down through the clear blue water she could just make out the Looking Glass station, almost directly below them. Her stomach gave an uncomfortable twist at the depth they would have to swim down to. “On three?”
“Absolutely,” Charlie said, grinning inanely at her. Claire almost rolled her eyes at him and then he added, “You count.”
“Me?” Claire took in a shaky breath when he nodded. “Okay then. One…”
Charlie glanced sideways at her suddenly, still grinning. “Hey, Claire?”
“Two…what?”
Charlie grinned even wider and squeezed her hand. “I love you too.”
“What?”
“Three!” Charlie cried and together they dove headfirst into the water.
NEXT CHAPTER