[FIC] when wounds won't heal
Title: when the wounds won’t heal | pairing: haehyuk, hanhyuk, hanchul | rating: pg-13 | genre: angst | summary: hyukjae have wounds time can’t heal.
It’s been a long time since I last smell the sweet air, the smell of large pine trees growing and the smell of the village where I grow up. It’s been a long time since I last saw the clear blue sky, the broad daylights away from the chaotic city. I sit back as I look out of the window, sitting beside me is my childhood friend Siwon, I ask him to pick me up from the airport yesterday. He was hesitant and he actually refused to pick me up but he did, I guess a friend will always be a friend despite what I have done.
I sighed to get his attention but I fail, he was focused on driving or to something I can’t quite guess. I breathed out as a sign of surrender I will just talk to him later; I don’t want to annoy him. I look out of the window again and smile as we pass by our old school, “sweet memories” I whisper to myself but I guess he heard it as he say “and bitter memories.” I looked at him and frown, yes bitter memories, I wonder if he’s still mad at me, may be yes.
“why do you come back?” he asked me, his attention back on the road.
“coz I heard you’re getting married. So who’s the lucky girl?” I replied, I don’t know what to say to him.
“you don’t have to know, I have no intensions of inviting you. why are you here?” he was persistent.
“i just wanted to visit.” I replied, he abruptly step on the break and the car almost spin I looked at him with shocked clearly on my face.
“get down.” He said.
“why?”
“go back to our wife. We don’t need your visit.” He said.
“what are you saying, we’re friends I need to see my friends. And I have to say sorry to him. I miss him the most.” I said remembering my reason of coming back.
“he’s fine, he doesn’t talk about you too much. He had forgotten you already. He doesn’t need you anymore. Go back to your wife” his words where stiff.
“I don’t have a wife. We divorce a year after the wedding.” I told him the truth.
There was a wide range of silence between us, until he broke it “you don’t have anything to do in here. Please leave now.”
“you know I can’t donghae. I have to see him.”
“he can’t see you. he won’t see you. please understand hangeng. Think about it, it’s for his good.”
“I just want to check on him, we’re friends and im worried. I missed him. I promise you. I’ll just see him then I’ll leave.”
“I don’t know if I could trust you. you bring so much hurt to everyone in this village.”
“I know, and … I regretted it.”
He heaves a sigh and I know I stand a chance of seeing him again.
“ok, I’ll talk to him and ask him if he wants to see you, if he don’t then you have to leave and don’t you ever come back. Is it a deal?”
“but I have to see him no matter what-“ I was cut short
“you have to respect his decision.” his voice is cold and decided so I just nodded. I never thought donghae hated me this much.
00000
It was a long drive, with uncomfortable silence we never had before. Donghae changed, a lot. And I know hyukjae does too.
I look out of the window as donghae continue to drive; the place is kinda familiar since this is the village where I grew up.
“hyukjae was never a second choice, hangeng hyung. So if you’re thinking of courting him again, I would never let you. im saying this just in case he would allow it to talk to you.”
“I just want to say sorry, I have no intensions of courting him. im divorce but I still love my wife, im just here to …”
“check on him, yes.”
I sighed.
“by the way, I hated your wife and I hate him until now. he’s at fault too.” I laughed at his statement, of course he never liked Heechul, he’s a wrecker, and he destroys everything.
“I know, and you know he wasn’t sorry.” I answered him, I have no intensions of covering for Heechul.
“he wasn’t sorry after ruining everything, what a bitch. And you’re stupid for choosing him. you two fit really well.”
“ that, not really. We’re divorce.” I smiled sadly, I still love Heechul, so much.
Donghae snorted “to be honest? I saw this coming.”
Flashback
“hangeng hyung~~” hyukjae jump on hangeng, both of them tumbling on the ground, giggling.
“that was too childish hyuk.” Hangeng said still laughing.
“but im still a child, im just 16.” Hyukjae pouted.
“owww yes, I forgot hyukjae is on his sweet sixteen.” Hangeng joked making hyukjae pout more.
“so you’re having fun without me huh?” donghae suddenly appeared, cutting the other two’s laughter.
“look hyung, donghae’s jealous.” Hyukjae said while walking next to donghae, putting his hands on donghae’s shoulder once he’s arm length unnoticing the stiffening of donghae’s muscles.
“of course donghae’s jealous.” Hangeng said, with a little hint in his voice, trying to help donghae.
Hyukjae’s giggle rang throughout the place. It was enough to make donghae and hangeng happy. Hyukjae is their happiness; Until Heechul came into the story.
It was the middle of the school year when the professor announced the attendance of a certain kim Heechul, a guy with a beautiful face, white skin and nicest features in town. Hangeng was taken a back, he was caught off guard. Heechul is a beauty to behold.
Hangeng never feel so nervous before, until now that he’s standing in front of Heechul asking the guy out. “uhm, hi. Im hangeng.” He said reaching out his hand to Heechul. Raising his head, looking at hangeng, Heechul smiled and took the hand. “im Heechul, it’s nice to meet you.” and the friendship grow leaving an innocent eyes unnoticely harmed.
00000
“hangeng hyung~” hyukjae whined as he tugged on hangeng’s sleeves. “where have you been?”
“im with Heechul.” Hangeng replied pulling on heechul’s hand to move the guy in front of him making him face hyukjae. “Heechul, this is hyukjae. he’s my baby I was telling you.” Heechul then reached his hand to hyukjae. “hi, im kim Heechul.”
Hyukjae though doubting took the offered hand. “hi, im hyukjae. hangeng hyung’s telling a lot of stories about you. you’re beautiful indeed.”
Heechul giggled hearing hyukjae’s words. “and you do looked like a baby like what he says.” And from then hyukjae thought maybe he was no match to this being.
00000
It was near their graduation, only few days and everyone is busy partying. It was the night of fun and good byes. It’s their last day being young, and it’s hyukjae’s last chance of confessing to hangeng. Though he was no match to Heechul, hyukjae decided just to confess. Whatever the outcome is, he would accept it. he just have to free himself from the burden and maybe after hearing the rejection he could just move on.
But that night is not the night for hangeng, seeing Heechul making out with somebody else broke his senses, he didn’t dare walk up to the man. He’s coward, he’s afraid to confront Heechul. He can’t accept any heart ache just when he thought he was all in love and will be happy. So he ran to the bar, he was hoping he could bump to donghae, he was his best friend after all. He never meant to bump on hyukjae, hyukjae is the last person he wants to see right now, because he was afraid, he was scared he willhurt hyukjae. but fate was cruel, it was hyukjae who approached him, confessing to him. offering his love to him, and who was hangeng to deny it. so with a confused heart he grab hyukjae’s nape and crushed their lips.
Hyukjae was more than confused; he was utterly cluesless of what is currently happening, he doesn’t know what to feel. He was in both heaven and hell. His heart ache the most. But hangeng’s kisses are easing everything, so hyukjae succumb. They’re in a room, so dark they barely see each other. but it happened, and it was a mistake, for hangeng that is.
00000
The next morning, hyukjae woke up with a smile on his face, hangeng and him, they did it and hyukjae is happy about it. He looked at the other side of the bed and saw hangeng there, sleeping soundly. Hyukjae got up and get himself clean that is when hangeng woke up, a killing headache piercing through him, and there he remembered. He doesn’t know what to to, he doesn’t know how he will face Heechul, he doesn’t know how he will face hyukjae and most of all he doesn’t know how he will face donghae. He just betrayed him. He even bedded hyukjae. He was the worst, so he run, Leaving no trails at all. And it broke hyukjae.
00000
“hangeng, I was looking for you the whole night. Where have you been?” Heechul ask as he bumped into hangeng as the guy was on his way out of the room, the room he and hyukjae shared last night.
“stop it Heechul, don’t talk as if you never cheated on me.” hangeng said not looking at Heechul.
“it wasn’t me, it was him who pulled me. i.. I was waiting for you. I was looking for you. it’s true.”
Heechul sounded so sorry, and hangeng was in love enough, stupid enough to believe him.
00000
Hangeng never meet hyukjae after that night, the few days before the graduation, it was hyukjae-less and hangeng thought it was better that way so he let it pass. Hyukjae needs time, they’re both confused that time but he can’t deny the fact that he missed his hyukjae.
After the graduation ceremony donghae came running to him, shouting his name in rage. “how dare you?” I trusted you. how dare you do that to hyukjae and continue seeing that bitch.” Then consecutive punches landed on hangeng’s face. “I hate you and I will never forgive you.”
“donghae!” a familiar voice shouted “stop it please.” It was hyukjae, his voice so soft and pleading. “I was at fault, don’t fight. Don’t hate him. we’re friends.” he was crying.
Donghae pull away from hangeng, wiping the stains of hangeng’s blood in his face. “it’s just because hyukjae asked me to, but if not for him I would forget the friendship we have and I’ll kill you.” donghae hiss in anger.
“hangeng hyung, are you alright?” hyukjae said as he run to hangeng’s side.
“of course he’s not, donghae almost kill him.” Heechul said as he pull hangeng away from hyukjae and carry the man to the infirmary.
That is the last time the saw each other
End of flashback
00000
“we’re here.” Donghae said as he parked the car. It was a hospital and hangeng wondered what is hyukjae doing there. “wait here.” And donghae walk to the hallway. Hangeng was never a patient person, he followed donghae, he wanted to see hyukjae so bad.
Hangeng saw donghae stop on a door, it was a doctor’s office. He followed quietly, he doesn’t want to let donghae know he was following him. when donghae was in the room, he run and decided to eavesdrop.
“hyukkie, how’s your day?” he hear donghae ask.
“im fine hae, I got to find a donor for the girl I was telling you the day ago. She’ll have her operation tomorrow. Im so happy.” It was hyukjae, the voice it never change; it was still the soft and lovely voice of hyukjae. hearing it makes hangeng’s heart beat a second faster.
“really? Well, that’s nice. I know you could do it.” donghae said and hangeng was able to see the view of donghae hugging hyukjae as the door open slightly. “They look good together, it was mistake ruining them” hangeng thought. “hyukjae deserve so much happiness.”
“donghae?” hangeng was back to reality hearing hyukjae’s voice. “do you have something to tell me?”
“uhh, yes. You know, about the letter I receive last week? Well, erm.” Donghae doesn’t know how to tell hyukjae that hangeng is back, and he wanted to meet him.
Donghae feel hyukjae is getting him already, he could feel hyukjae’s head shaking telling him he doesn’t want to see hangeng. He’s not ready, yet.
Hangeng notice it, he walk away slowly. Hyukjae doesn’t want to see him. “hyung, hangeng hyung.” Donghae called him, “please get inside. He agrees to see you.” and it shocked hangeng. “you didn’t follow our deal, but im letting you in. it was his request.”
Hangeng walk pass donghae and in to the room, he closed the door and was panicking when he saw hyukjae behind the big table, reading medical reports. “hyu-hyukkie.”
“hi hyung, long time no see.” Hyukjae replied casually.
“hyukjae, hyukkie.” Hangeng can’t say anything, he was damn speechless for heaven’s sake, of all time, why does it have to be today? Just when he was about to change everything back to normal, to the way it should have been.
“are you just going to stand there? Take a sit.” Hyukjae said pointing at the chair beside his table. Just then hangeng notice the bandages wrap around both hyukjae’s arm. He cringed at the sight of it, hyukjaeis wounded? Is donghae hurting him? was he in an accident he never know? And hyukjae have fresh cuts in his hands. Hangeng was dead worried and so he ask “are you alright?” taking hyukjae’s hands.
Hyukjae pull his hand away, hangeng’s touches, it’s till the same, and it lingers. “yeah, yeah im fine. Don’t worry. So what brought you here?”
“i.. I wanted to see you… to apologize for ruining everything. and to get you back.”
Hyukjae snorted at his last statement. “did you know that donghae’s getting married? Next month?” hyukjae ask out of the blue making hangeng confused.
“yes, I do. Why’d you ask?”
“do you know who is he getting married to?”
Hangeng shook his head, and just then realization hit him as he look at hyukjae’s hand, a silver band on his ring finger similar to what donghae is wearing. He look at hyukjae’s face, and all he could see is a smile, the smile he missed for a very long time.
“congratulations.” Hangeng said. “im happy for you both.” But his heart constrict with his every word, how cold he be so selfish thinking that once he came back he could still get hyukjae, donghae was right, hyukjae was never a second choice. Hyukjae is the best choice and he missed his chance of getting him. “I hope im invited hyukkie, coz donghae just told me im not welcome.” Hangeng continued.
“of course you are hyung. You know donghae never meant it.”
“yeah, of course.”
00000
That night, hangeng was in donghae’s and hyukjae’s house, thought hangeng rented a hotel room the two insisted on letting him go with them, a little reunion they said.
After eating hyukjae was left in the kitchen to do the dishes, the two other guys went to the living room, it’s their moment of truth.
“you didn’t tell me it was him.” hangeng said suddenly, a bit bitter.
“coz I never wanted you on our wedding.”
“hyukjae said otherwise, he told me you didn’t mean it.”
“you know how hyukjae is, he wasn’t bon to break anyone’s heart. He doesn’t want to upset you.”
“so you really mean it?”
“yes, but if hyukjae invited you who am I to argue?”
“his soon to be husband?” they both laugh. At least they could be okay again. What is important is to bring back the trust, and hangeng could sense that they’re doing the right to to get it all back. “by the way, the bandages, what happened to hyuk’s arm?” Donghae stiffen at the question and hangeng notice it. “don’t tell me it was you?”
Donghae smirked, “it wasn’t me. it was you.” he asid confusing hangeng. What does he mean? “those wounds are self-inflicted. He’s wounding his body, hurting his physical for him not to feel the greatest hurt. The wound you left in his heart.”
“but the wounds look so fresh how come-“
“he started doing it the day he learned you went away with Heechul, everyday I go check on him, he was bleeding and new cuts were made. It was psychological, he decided he wanted the physical pain better than the emotional, masochism. Hyukjae has it. I don’t know how I will bring him back to being the happy hyukjae, the hyukjae I secretly love my entire life. I was dying every time I see him. one moment he was smiling and next he was in the hospital needing blood transplant.” Then there was silence, hangeng never thought how dumb he is until now. “it was the kids in the hospital’s nursery that made him somehow at ease. Later then I talk everything out with him. I told him to study pediatrics, and he did. The wounds are weird, they took long time too heal, as if it was an infection, but when he was with the kids, it amazing heal fast. Then I realized, everything is psychological. Hyukjae, his physical wounds, you, his depressions. It was all what he was thinking. Then after a long time I got the courage to ask him to marry me, and what made me happy is when I saw the wounds he first made on his wrist heal in just a day. I t was me who cured him, It was me who save him from you.” donghae smiled, it was from his heart and hangeng could feel a little mocking. “the wounds you saw, it was fresh. Just a week, it was when he knew you’re coming back. He was stress, he was afraid that you will ask him back, and I would give him to you. he was afraid you’re here to hurt him again. But I guess after you two talked the wounds will heal in no time.”
“so, you’re saying that even im not here I continue hurting him?” hangeng said, joking still half-meant.
“kinda.” And they both laugh it off.
“hey! Having fun without me?” the two look at the voice direction finding a pouting hyukjae.
“of course not, you are the happiness here. How will we have fun without you?” donghae said reaching for hyukjae and the guy walk to him, sitting next to him.
“aww you really have to do that in front of me? I am jealous.” Hangeng said, now his heart would forever be light, seeing hyukjae happy he has no burden to carry. And he would let donghae and hyukjae be, because hyukjae was never meant to be just an option, never meant to be just the second choice, hyukjae is always the priority, and only donghae could make hyukjae feel it.
a/n: personally made for kira_shinigami , im sorry it didn’t turn out the way you expected it. Writing hanhyuk is so hard. ;a;
It’s been a long time since I last smell the sweet air, the smell of large pine trees growing and the smell of the village where I grow up. It’s been a long time since I last saw the clear blue sky, the broad daylights away from the chaotic city. I sit back as I look out of the window, sitting beside me is my childhood friend Siwon, I ask him to pick me up from the airport yesterday. He was hesitant and he actually refused to pick me up but he did, I guess a friend will always be a friend despite what I have done.
I sighed to get his attention but I fail, he was focused on driving or to something I can’t quite guess. I breathed out as a sign of surrender I will just talk to him later; I don’t want to annoy him. I look out of the window again and smile as we pass by our old school, “sweet memories” I whisper to myself but I guess he heard it as he say “and bitter memories.” I looked at him and frown, yes bitter memories, I wonder if he’s still mad at me, may be yes.
“why do you come back?” he asked me, his attention back on the road.
“coz I heard you’re getting married. So who’s the lucky girl?” I replied, I don’t know what to say to him.
“you don’t have to know, I have no intensions of inviting you. why are you here?” he was persistent.
“i just wanted to visit.” I replied, he abruptly step on the break and the car almost spin I looked at him with shocked clearly on my face.
“get down.” He said.
“why?”
“go back to our wife. We don’t need your visit.” He said.
“what are you saying, we’re friends I need to see my friends. And I have to say sorry to him. I miss him the most.” I said remembering my reason of coming back.
“he’s fine, he doesn’t talk about you too much. He had forgotten you already. He doesn’t need you anymore. Go back to your wife” his words where stiff.
“I don’t have a wife. We divorce a year after the wedding.” I told him the truth.
There was a wide range of silence between us, until he broke it “you don’t have anything to do in here. Please leave now.”
“you know I can’t donghae. I have to see him.”
“he can’t see you. he won’t see you. please understand hangeng. Think about it, it’s for his good.”
“I just want to check on him, we’re friends and im worried. I missed him. I promise you. I’ll just see him then I’ll leave.”
“I don’t know if I could trust you. you bring so much hurt to everyone in this village.”
“I know, and … I regretted it.”
He heaves a sigh and I know I stand a chance of seeing him again.
“ok, I’ll talk to him and ask him if he wants to see you, if he don’t then you have to leave and don’t you ever come back. Is it a deal?”
“but I have to see him no matter what-“ I was cut short
“you have to respect his decision.” his voice is cold and decided so I just nodded. I never thought donghae hated me this much.
00000
It was a long drive, with uncomfortable silence we never had before. Donghae changed, a lot. And I know hyukjae does too.
I look out of the window as donghae continue to drive; the place is kinda familiar since this is the village where I grew up.
“hyukjae was never a second choice, hangeng hyung. So if you’re thinking of courting him again, I would never let you. im saying this just in case he would allow it to talk to you.”
“I just want to say sorry, I have no intensions of courting him. im divorce but I still love my wife, im just here to …”
“check on him, yes.”
I sighed.
“by the way, I hated your wife and I hate him until now. he’s at fault too.” I laughed at his statement, of course he never liked Heechul, he’s a wrecker, and he destroys everything.
“I know, and you know he wasn’t sorry.” I answered him, I have no intensions of covering for Heechul.
“he wasn’t sorry after ruining everything, what a bitch. And you’re stupid for choosing him. you two fit really well.”
“ that, not really. We’re divorce.” I smiled sadly, I still love Heechul, so much.
Donghae snorted “to be honest? I saw this coming.”
Flashback
“hangeng hyung~~” hyukjae jump on hangeng, both of them tumbling on the ground, giggling.
“that was too childish hyuk.” Hangeng said still laughing.
“but im still a child, im just 16.” Hyukjae pouted.
“owww yes, I forgot hyukjae is on his sweet sixteen.” Hangeng joked making hyukjae pout more.
“so you’re having fun without me huh?” donghae suddenly appeared, cutting the other two’s laughter.
“look hyung, donghae’s jealous.” Hyukjae said while walking next to donghae, putting his hands on donghae’s shoulder once he’s arm length unnoticing the stiffening of donghae’s muscles.
“of course donghae’s jealous.” Hangeng said, with a little hint in his voice, trying to help donghae.
Hyukjae’s giggle rang throughout the place. It was enough to make donghae and hangeng happy. Hyukjae is their happiness; Until Heechul came into the story.
It was the middle of the school year when the professor announced the attendance of a certain kim Heechul, a guy with a beautiful face, white skin and nicest features in town. Hangeng was taken a back, he was caught off guard. Heechul is a beauty to behold.
Hangeng never feel so nervous before, until now that he’s standing in front of Heechul asking the guy out. “uhm, hi. Im hangeng.” He said reaching out his hand to Heechul. Raising his head, looking at hangeng, Heechul smiled and took the hand. “im Heechul, it’s nice to meet you.” and the friendship grow leaving an innocent eyes unnoticely harmed.
00000
“hangeng hyung~” hyukjae whined as he tugged on hangeng’s sleeves. “where have you been?”
“im with Heechul.” Hangeng replied pulling on heechul’s hand to move the guy in front of him making him face hyukjae. “Heechul, this is hyukjae. he’s my baby I was telling you.” Heechul then reached his hand to hyukjae. “hi, im kim Heechul.”
Hyukjae though doubting took the offered hand. “hi, im hyukjae. hangeng hyung’s telling a lot of stories about you. you’re beautiful indeed.”
Heechul giggled hearing hyukjae’s words. “and you do looked like a baby like what he says.” And from then hyukjae thought maybe he was no match to this being.
00000
It was near their graduation, only few days and everyone is busy partying. It was the night of fun and good byes. It’s their last day being young, and it’s hyukjae’s last chance of confessing to hangeng. Though he was no match to Heechul, hyukjae decided just to confess. Whatever the outcome is, he would accept it. he just have to free himself from the burden and maybe after hearing the rejection he could just move on.
But that night is not the night for hangeng, seeing Heechul making out with somebody else broke his senses, he didn’t dare walk up to the man. He’s coward, he’s afraid to confront Heechul. He can’t accept any heart ache just when he thought he was all in love and will be happy. So he ran to the bar, he was hoping he could bump to donghae, he was his best friend after all. He never meant to bump on hyukjae, hyukjae is the last person he wants to see right now, because he was afraid, he was scared he willhurt hyukjae. but fate was cruel, it was hyukjae who approached him, confessing to him. offering his love to him, and who was hangeng to deny it. so with a confused heart he grab hyukjae’s nape and crushed their lips.
Hyukjae was more than confused; he was utterly cluesless of what is currently happening, he doesn’t know what to feel. He was in both heaven and hell. His heart ache the most. But hangeng’s kisses are easing everything, so hyukjae succumb. They’re in a room, so dark they barely see each other. but it happened, and it was a mistake, for hangeng that is.
00000
The next morning, hyukjae woke up with a smile on his face, hangeng and him, they did it and hyukjae is happy about it. He looked at the other side of the bed and saw hangeng there, sleeping soundly. Hyukjae got up and get himself clean that is when hangeng woke up, a killing headache piercing through him, and there he remembered. He doesn’t know what to to, he doesn’t know how he will face Heechul, he doesn’t know how he will face hyukjae and most of all he doesn’t know how he will face donghae. He just betrayed him. He even bedded hyukjae. He was the worst, so he run, Leaving no trails at all. And it broke hyukjae.
00000
“hangeng, I was looking for you the whole night. Where have you been?” Heechul ask as he bumped into hangeng as the guy was on his way out of the room, the room he and hyukjae shared last night.
“stop it Heechul, don’t talk as if you never cheated on me.” hangeng said not looking at Heechul.
“it wasn’t me, it was him who pulled me. i.. I was waiting for you. I was looking for you. it’s true.”
Heechul sounded so sorry, and hangeng was in love enough, stupid enough to believe him.
00000
Hangeng never meet hyukjae after that night, the few days before the graduation, it was hyukjae-less and hangeng thought it was better that way so he let it pass. Hyukjae needs time, they’re both confused that time but he can’t deny the fact that he missed his hyukjae.
After the graduation ceremony donghae came running to him, shouting his name in rage. “how dare you?” I trusted you. how dare you do that to hyukjae and continue seeing that bitch.” Then consecutive punches landed on hangeng’s face. “I hate you and I will never forgive you.”
“donghae!” a familiar voice shouted “stop it please.” It was hyukjae, his voice so soft and pleading. “I was at fault, don’t fight. Don’t hate him. we’re friends.” he was crying.
Donghae pull away from hangeng, wiping the stains of hangeng’s blood in his face. “it’s just because hyukjae asked me to, but if not for him I would forget the friendship we have and I’ll kill you.” donghae hiss in anger.
“hangeng hyung, are you alright?” hyukjae said as he run to hangeng’s side.
“of course he’s not, donghae almost kill him.” Heechul said as he pull hangeng away from hyukjae and carry the man to the infirmary.
That is the last time the saw each other
End of flashback
00000
“we’re here.” Donghae said as he parked the car. It was a hospital and hangeng wondered what is hyukjae doing there. “wait here.” And donghae walk to the hallway. Hangeng was never a patient person, he followed donghae, he wanted to see hyukjae so bad.
Hangeng saw donghae stop on a door, it was a doctor’s office. He followed quietly, he doesn’t want to let donghae know he was following him. when donghae was in the room, he run and decided to eavesdrop.
“hyukkie, how’s your day?” he hear donghae ask.
“im fine hae, I got to find a donor for the girl I was telling you the day ago. She’ll have her operation tomorrow. Im so happy.” It was hyukjae, the voice it never change; it was still the soft and lovely voice of hyukjae. hearing it makes hangeng’s heart beat a second faster.
“really? Well, that’s nice. I know you could do it.” donghae said and hangeng was able to see the view of donghae hugging hyukjae as the door open slightly. “They look good together, it was mistake ruining them” hangeng thought. “hyukjae deserve so much happiness.”
“donghae?” hangeng was back to reality hearing hyukjae’s voice. “do you have something to tell me?”
“uhh, yes. You know, about the letter I receive last week? Well, erm.” Donghae doesn’t know how to tell hyukjae that hangeng is back, and he wanted to meet him.
Donghae feel hyukjae is getting him already, he could feel hyukjae’s head shaking telling him he doesn’t want to see hangeng. He’s not ready, yet.
Hangeng notice it, he walk away slowly. Hyukjae doesn’t want to see him. “hyung, hangeng hyung.” Donghae called him, “please get inside. He agrees to see you.” and it shocked hangeng. “you didn’t follow our deal, but im letting you in. it was his request.”
Hangeng walk pass donghae and in to the room, he closed the door and was panicking when he saw hyukjae behind the big table, reading medical reports. “hyu-hyukkie.”
“hi hyung, long time no see.” Hyukjae replied casually.
“hyukjae, hyukkie.” Hangeng can’t say anything, he was damn speechless for heaven’s sake, of all time, why does it have to be today? Just when he was about to change everything back to normal, to the way it should have been.
“are you just going to stand there? Take a sit.” Hyukjae said pointing at the chair beside his table. Just then hangeng notice the bandages wrap around both hyukjae’s arm. He cringed at the sight of it, hyukjaeis wounded? Is donghae hurting him? was he in an accident he never know? And hyukjae have fresh cuts in his hands. Hangeng was dead worried and so he ask “are you alright?” taking hyukjae’s hands.
Hyukjae pull his hand away, hangeng’s touches, it’s till the same, and it lingers. “yeah, yeah im fine. Don’t worry. So what brought you here?”
“i.. I wanted to see you… to apologize for ruining everything. and to get you back.”
Hyukjae snorted at his last statement. “did you know that donghae’s getting married? Next month?” hyukjae ask out of the blue making hangeng confused.
“yes, I do. Why’d you ask?”
“do you know who is he getting married to?”
Hangeng shook his head, and just then realization hit him as he look at hyukjae’s hand, a silver band on his ring finger similar to what donghae is wearing. He look at hyukjae’s face, and all he could see is a smile, the smile he missed for a very long time.
“congratulations.” Hangeng said. “im happy for you both.” But his heart constrict with his every word, how cold he be so selfish thinking that once he came back he could still get hyukjae, donghae was right, hyukjae was never a second choice. Hyukjae is the best choice and he missed his chance of getting him. “I hope im invited hyukkie, coz donghae just told me im not welcome.” Hangeng continued.
“of course you are hyung. You know donghae never meant it.”
“yeah, of course.”
00000
That night, hangeng was in donghae’s and hyukjae’s house, thought hangeng rented a hotel room the two insisted on letting him go with them, a little reunion they said.
After eating hyukjae was left in the kitchen to do the dishes, the two other guys went to the living room, it’s their moment of truth.
“you didn’t tell me it was him.” hangeng said suddenly, a bit bitter.
“coz I never wanted you on our wedding.”
“hyukjae said otherwise, he told me you didn’t mean it.”
“you know how hyukjae is, he wasn’t bon to break anyone’s heart. He doesn’t want to upset you.”
“so you really mean it?”
“yes, but if hyukjae invited you who am I to argue?”
“his soon to be husband?” they both laugh. At least they could be okay again. What is important is to bring back the trust, and hangeng could sense that they’re doing the right to to get it all back. “by the way, the bandages, what happened to hyuk’s arm?” Donghae stiffen at the question and hangeng notice it. “don’t tell me it was you?”
Donghae smirked, “it wasn’t me. it was you.” he asid confusing hangeng. What does he mean? “those wounds are self-inflicted. He’s wounding his body, hurting his physical for him not to feel the greatest hurt. The wound you left in his heart.”
“but the wounds look so fresh how come-“
“he started doing it the day he learned you went away with Heechul, everyday I go check on him, he was bleeding and new cuts were made. It was psychological, he decided he wanted the physical pain better than the emotional, masochism. Hyukjae has it. I don’t know how I will bring him back to being the happy hyukjae, the hyukjae I secretly love my entire life. I was dying every time I see him. one moment he was smiling and next he was in the hospital needing blood transplant.” Then there was silence, hangeng never thought how dumb he is until now. “it was the kids in the hospital’s nursery that made him somehow at ease. Later then I talk everything out with him. I told him to study pediatrics, and he did. The wounds are weird, they took long time too heal, as if it was an infection, but when he was with the kids, it amazing heal fast. Then I realized, everything is psychological. Hyukjae, his physical wounds, you, his depressions. It was all what he was thinking. Then after a long time I got the courage to ask him to marry me, and what made me happy is when I saw the wounds he first made on his wrist heal in just a day. I t was me who cured him, It was me who save him from you.” donghae smiled, it was from his heart and hangeng could feel a little mocking. “the wounds you saw, it was fresh. Just a week, it was when he knew you’re coming back. He was stress, he was afraid that you will ask him back, and I would give him to you. he was afraid you’re here to hurt him again. But I guess after you two talked the wounds will heal in no time.”
“so, you’re saying that even im not here I continue hurting him?” hangeng said, joking still half-meant.
“kinda.” And they both laugh it off.
“hey! Having fun without me?” the two look at the voice direction finding a pouting hyukjae.
“of course not, you are the happiness here. How will we have fun without you?” donghae said reaching for hyukjae and the guy walk to him, sitting next to him.
“aww you really have to do that in front of me? I am jealous.” Hangeng said, now his heart would forever be light, seeing hyukjae happy he has no burden to carry. And he would let donghae and hyukjae be, because hyukjae was never meant to be just an option, never meant to be just the second choice, hyukjae is always the priority, and only donghae could make hyukjae feel it.
a/n: personally made for kira_shinigami , im sorry it didn’t turn out the way you expected it. Writing hanhyuk is so hard. ;a;