goose. this is a great piece of writing. there are some grammatical things i would change and a sentence here and there that i would alter, but it is really good.
the thing is i think you should write something fictional. i think you use a lot of detail from your life and it is good and interesting, but it is very specifically about your life and i think with something fictional you would have chosen different aspects to flush out. here you dwell on the things that you are concerned with at the moment, rather than the characteristics that are pertinent. does that make sense? this feels more like a mini autobiography then a character profile. if i were to write a character profile of you i think i would have left out some events and added more personality. does that make sense?
i think this is a good start though and most likely a theraputic thing to have written. perhaps try again with someone you know and then from there create someone new?
i hope this helps. feel free to comment on my comments.
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the thing is i think you should write something fictional. i think you use a lot of detail from your life and it is good and interesting, but it is very specifically about your life and i think with something fictional you would have chosen different aspects to flush out. here you dwell on the things that you are concerned with at the moment, rather than the characteristics that are pertinent. does that make sense? this feels more like a mini autobiography then a character profile. if i were to write a character profile of you i think i would have left out some events and added more personality. does that make sense?
i think this is a good start though and most likely a theraputic thing to have written. perhaps try again with someone you know and then from there create someone new?
i hope this helps. feel free to comment on my comments.
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